Posted in Famous Quotations and teachings, From Around!, Men's Corner

A Gentleman!

A gentlemanMaybe many of you can define a gentleman? And, which woman is there who wouldn’t want to have a gentleman by her side?

Well, I can’t define one – hence I looked up quotes or meanings from Google. I then chose the above one to grace my post. Sure I would love to have one and I bet I have one now.

A friend once asked us what were the qualities we would be looking for in a man. I told him I was going to write a post on that and we’ll see how it goes.

I wouldn’t write about the qualities I seek, I would write about those I have found. Coming from Africa, where the concepts are different, I couldn’t help be do a genuine post on the man I found – my gentleman.

Primo, my gentleman has opened my heart. I poured it out to him and he still loves me so.

My gentleman reproaches me with firmness and yet gentleness. He cheers me on joyfully and genuinely. He supports me wholeheartedly and is all encompassing. I don’t want to think anymore of what I went through back in Cameroon.

We do have our ‘fights’ though mostly friendly ones for we are both strong headed people. Yet they hardly survive a weekend or even a night and never been physical.

My man holds my hand and kisses me whenever and wherever. He comes back home to have dinner with me and talk with me. He says I am a good cook. This is a luxury where I come from and I am honored.

No offense meant, but some if not most men in Africa, are still under the ridiculous yoke of those customs and traditions which state that a woman’s place is at the back and bed.

I very much love how we are friends above all, and how we do talk about just anything and everything. We go places together and do lots of stuffs together. Wow, team mates we could say?

Yes, my gentleman helps me with the hair removal beneath my chin and this is a premier.

I sometimes wonder why I had to go through so much mess in my life before meeting him. Well, when I mentioned that to him, he said maybe if I didn’t go through that, we wouldn’t have met in the first place.

I also found this other quote and I love it so:  Gentleman quote

I don’t know if gentlewoman exists or what is deservedly for a gentleman – but I sure want to be that kind of a woman for him.

Maybe we could talk of A Fair Lady?


Marie Angele Abanga (simplified to Marie Abanga) aka MAG likes to describe herself as a “Jacqueline of several trades”. She is an everyday woman and mother with a zigzag profile. Let’s give it a try! She is an Activist, an Author, a Coach, a Consultant, a Feminist, a Lawyer, a Lecturer, a Prince 2 Project Manager, a Psychotherapist, a Philanthropist, a minister of the Word of God and...! She just loves to sum it up by saying she is a person of passions and a tale of talents. Her life’s journey has filled over 6 books already and her three musketeers keep her busy at home. MAG is also the founder and CEO of the association Hope for the Abused and Battered, and the Country Director of the Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation for Epilepsy & Mental wellbeing. The plethora of life's experiences and shenanigans she has lived through and learned from in near 4 decades of existence, have equipped her with such an arsenal to coach, train and motivate just any and everyone. She is so charismatic, dynamic and full of life, going by her designed mantra of 3Ds: Determination; Discipline and Dedication. These sum her+her quest to be the best version of herself and impact others perfectly. She attributes all her wealth of knowledge to her conscientious attendance of both informal and formal school.

18 thoughts on “A Gentleman!

  1. What a beautiful post Marie. It’s a blessing to find a true and genuine gentleman. Once you do, hold onto him, love and cherish him with all your heart. They are far and few in between.

    It’s also great to be friends with your gentleman. Friendship will bring more meaning to your relationship. Being able to confide in each other is a wonderful recipe for building a firm foundation. A firm foundation will keep you both steady through the storms of life.

    Thanks for sharing this lovely post. Have a blessed day. 🙂

    1. Dear June,

      Thank you for always stopping by. It’s a blessing indeed and I want to add that, it didn’t come so easy. We fought our our demons but we hoped for the better.

      Yes, I would hold onto him, love and cherish him with all my heart and I know it will be reciprocal.

      We are great friends and so am I friends with his family. I am honoured to share this and be glad that it is duly appreciated.

      Marie your dearest friend. 🙂

  2. Darling,

    Yes it is lovely to have a warm and kind partner.

    It is more lovely when you had one like we did after trudging through hard times.

    As my friend June said, we have to hold onto them tight and well, I think they love holding onto us tight too.

    Thanks for stopping by. Cheers, Marie 🙂

  3. You’ve said just all what it takes to be a gentleman. Those qualities are however very rare in the African society where adherence to customs and traditions, societal norms, cultures and much more have wooed people to believe that a woman’s place is at the back and bed as you quoted or the kitchen as they say.

    I must say that Primo your gentleman really loves you. Hold unto him, and be whatever it takes to be the gentlewoman that suits him. What people say doesn’t matter.
    Love- to starry-eyed romantics or to people who regard it as a romantic fantasy is a mysterious visitation that seizes someone, it is a once in a lifetime feeling of sheer ecstasy. Love i believe is strictly an affair of the heart. Something that cannot be understood but just experienced.

    Some people however think that the human heart is an infallible romantic judgement. The tragedy however is that thousands of couples every year marry under the illusion of being in love only to realize shortly thereafter that they have seriously erred.
    Infatuation lures unsuspecting men and women into poor marriages like lamb to the slaughter. Take this example, David met Janet at a party at first sight. He was immediately attracted to Janet by her shapely figure and the way her hair tumbled over her eyes when she laughed. Janet on the other hand was enchanted by David’s deep blue eyes and his witty conversation. Three weeks later, the two of them became inseparable. However, one night Janet received a devastating phone call from her former boyfriend. She called David for comfort. David feeling threatened and confused responded coldly. You know what, the love they thought would last forever died at night.
    The above example is a glaring exhibition of INFATUATION. Infatuation is counterfeit love,it is blind, unrealistic and self-centered. They come and go, they don’t stay. Infatuated persons have the tendency to say, i really feel important when am with him, i can’t sleep, i can’t believe how fantastic this is or she really makes me feel good. Notice how many times I or ME has been used.

    A relationship based on selfishness is bound to fail. Remember the bibles’ description of true love. It states that love is not jealous, love doesn’t brag, love doesn’t get puffed up, doesn’t behave indecently, doesn’t looks for its own self-interest, doesn’t become provoked, doesn’t keep account of an injury.
    True couples must have a strong romantic feeling and mutual attraction. But these feelings are balanced by reason and deep respect for the other person. True, when you are really in love, you care just as much for the other person’s welfare and happiness as you do for your own. You do not allow empowering emotions destroy good judgement.

    The feeling of rejection, hurt and perhaps outrage that comes in the wake of a break up may thus sour your views of the future. Even when the break up is handled with the utmost facts and kindness, you are still bound to feel hurt and rejected. This is what my mother told me.

    There is no reason to lose your self-esteem however. The fact that you were not right in this person’s eyes doesn’t mean that you will not be right in the eyes of someone else.
    Love, little Bibi.*:) happy

  4. Thanks darling. If the break up between you and your ex-spouse was entirely on one side and you were convinced that the marriage would have worked well. Certainly, you had the right to let the other person know how you felt. Perhaps, there had simply been some misunderstanding i think so. Emotional ranting and raving accomplishes little. And if he insisted on splitting up, i think there was no need for you to humiliate yourself tearfully begging for the affections of someone who obviously had no feelings for you.

    But what if you had strong reasons to suspect that you were merely being used by someone who never had a sincere interest in marriage in the first place. You need not resort to vindictive reprisals. Be assured that his deviousness is unnoticed by God.

    I think from time to time, you had been tormented by loneliness and romantic memories. If so, it is alright to have a good cry. Get busy perhaps with some physical activity. Keep your mind on things that are cheerful and up-building, confide in a close friend. Your parents and siblings may also be of great comfort even if you think you are old enough to be independent. Above all, confide in God.

    You may now see the need to work on every aspect of your personality. Your vision of what you wanted in a marriage mate may be clearer than ever. And having loved and lost, you may decide to handle courtship a bit more prudently. Should a desirable person come along again, the likelihood of which may be greater you think.

    Love, Bibi

  5. Dear MA,

    My sister (Patience) shared your blog with us (her siblings…I’m her younger). I read Marriage My Refuge (so glad to know you’re in a far better place now) and I was heartily smiling throughout reading A Gentleman because it reminded me so much of my own “DD” experience – (permit me use your abbreviation). It is a blessing to experience this definition of a gentleman, and indeed, our African brothers could learn a thing or two about the joys of being on both the receiving and the giving ends of it.

    Once I was at an african party with my “DD”, and we were sitting near the bar, holding hands and talking and smiling into each other’s eyes. One of my Cameroonian brothers came up to us and said to my “DD”: “You really know how to love!”. My “DD” didn’t quite get what that was all about, because he was just being himself. I had to later explain to him about the way couples in our culture “love” (or not lol!) as compared to the way he “loves”.

    My “DD” and I often wonder the same: oh why hadnt we met sooner…waaay before. And we come to the same answer: if life hadn’t progressed exactly as it had, we wouldn’t be together today. So as Neale Donald Walsch always says it, everything that happens in life is PERFECT. One very significant thing I have learnt, is to always be who I am, as defined by me, and to always operate from my heart (not my mind); because the heart is you, the way you were born; the mind is you plus everything that others and / or society has put in it. I have learnt to stick with my heart, and to have NO EXPECTATIONS, and life has never been happier or more fulfilling.

    Thank you for your courage in sharing your stories. It’s always very heart-warming to read about shared experiences.

    Blessings to you,


    1. Dear Leke,

      Thanks for stopping by. At last, l am begining to find my ‘kind’ in our ‘cafouage’.

      I am sure you very well know all what you are talking about.

      Yes, that’s life and l hope to by sharing my story via my book, blogs and all, healp and heal more than l hurt.

      I am sure you will enjoy reading the book and recommending same.

      Kindly stay in touch and get my email from P if u want.

      Greet our inlaw for me oh hahaha
      Hugs, Ayo (for you):-P

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s