Posted in Journey to Coaching, Marie's Garden

Emotions and Intensity

Some intense emotions
Some intense emotions

In my special and passionate journey towards becoming a personal and emotional well being coach, I am equally letting myself coached.

My coach asked me a question which sparked further self evaluation.

First, let me begin by admitting that I am derailing from my initial plan of doing a post this week on the categories of emotions and al.

I however promise my dear readers, that this will come soonest. I just found his question intense – hence the title of this post:

He asked me how bad I felt about …

Oh my, so feeling bad wasn’t enough to deal with and now I had to dwell into how bad I felt and how intense was that feeling?

I got down to doing some research to help myself and of course YOU! 🙂

in·ten·si·ty  (ĭn-tĕn′sĭ-tē)

n. pl. in·ten·si·ties

1. Exceptionally great concentration, power, or force.
2. Physics The amount or degree of strength of electricity, light, heat, or sound per unit area or volume.
Is it my choice how intense I want to feel about something and how I want to express that feeling?
Can l do something about that emotion which is currently manifesting itself so intensely that I even feel overpowered and sort of compelled to act in a particular way?
I looked at emotions and well being recently and was of the modest opinion that if only we could believe that it was ok for women to discuss our emotions, if only men could see that it was also ok for them to open up, then we could and should take the edge over our emotions.
I know and once learnt that emotions are here to stay and come on, could we perceive living emotionless?
Yet, we have numerous examples in life when we or people we know got carried away especially by ‘negative’ emotions, and became ‘serial’ you name them.
My book tells of my tale and I admit wholeheartedly therein that I was lured by my emotions and or inability and yes even unwillingness to discuss them even with my own self.
My emotions of sadness at the life I got myself into, the pity I felt for myself, the hatred l felt for my ‘abusive’ husband, the ‘rejection’ l felt for my family etc etc, grew from weak – mild – strong.
Intense emotions get us do things we often regret
Intense emotions get us do things we often regret
Now, without facing them when they were still just weak (on the intensity scale), not pushing on to discuss them after a first try, I became more restless and verbose and yet withdrawn all at the same time.
The emotions were gradually taking control of me and I couldn’t mage them no more.
They got so intense that I was afraid of what I could do to myself if I even thought about my life, my pain, my future. Oh, I even at some point preferred death – yes my senselessness hammered in me that I was good for nothing. Had not even started running into the arms of other men just for some consolation?
Dear gentle readers and followers of mine, I hope I have by this modest post shared with you what I am learning and hope to be working on in my next career path. Do show some love, share, comment and why not stay tuned?


Marie Abanga aka MAG likes to describe herself as a “Jacqueline of several trades”. She is an everyday woman and mother with a zigzag profile. Let’s give it a try! She is an Activist, an Author, a Coach, a Consultant, a Feminist, a Lawyer, a Lecturer, a Prince 2 Project Manager, a Psychotherapist, a Philanthropist, a minister of the Word of God and...! She just loves to sum it up by saying she is a person of passions and a tale of talents. Her life’s journey has filled over 6 books already and her three musketeers keep her busy at home. MAG is also the founder and CEO of the association Hope for the Abused and Battered, and the Country Director of the Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation for Epilepsy & Mental wellbeing. The plethora of life's experiences and shenanigans she has lived through and learned from in near 4 decades of existence, have equipped her with such an arsenal to coach, train and motivate just any and everyone. She is so charismatic, dynamic and full of life, going by her designed mantra of 3Ds: Determination; Discipline and Dedication. These sum her+her quest to be the best version of herself and impact others perfectly. She attributes all her wealth of knowledge to her conscientious attendance of both informal and formal school.

9 thoughts on “Emotions and Intensity

  1. Marie, as usual, you write from the heart. I love the way you’re able to open up. A lot of us should take a leaf out of your book and do the same.

    Clearly the coaching is helping you. I’m glad because you’re healing as well as getting to know who you are (for yourself). Sometimes, it takes someone else to help us find ourselves.

    For me, I had to be out of relationships and be alone to find out who June is. I was caught up in the love-hate thing for most of my life. I was a mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend and others. But I didn;t know me. I’m still discovering who I am as a woman. It’s an ongoing journey.

    I wish you all the best on your new quest Marie.

    Have a blessed day. 🙂


    1. June,

      Even if it means coming to London a third time just to see you, I will. But no, I guess this weekend we will listen to ‘No Woman No Cry’, while eating a cool Jamaican dish right?

      Thanks for sharing with us too and you are right in saying it’s a quest – a journey right up to our graves.

      I wish you all the best too 🙂


  2. Hi Marie, thanks for opening up and sharing! It seems that you keep growing and moving forward, taking control of your life. I love it and support you!! Thanks for all of your support as well 🙂 Take care and have a great day!!!


  3. Mama Ayo, you have interesting and educating posts on your blog. I’ve not been here as i used to. Have been caught up with one thing after the other but i read all your posts and take to heart. Was just trying to download some notes for my report project. Take care


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