bipolar guilt by association

I lack of appropriate words to comment on this post. Yes, I will be denying it if I say I don’t feel guilt at my brother’s suffering and demise. There are so many ifs, I know several will say it wasn’t my fault but then if only if…


There is no denying that it is a hard, hard road, loving someone with bipolar disease. There are times when you want to scream, days when you think you can’t do it anymore, weeks when you know you haven’t made a difference and only wish you could, moments when you want to turn your back on it. It is their problem, not yours, and yet it becomes yours if you love the person suffering from it. You have no choice. You must stand by them. You are trapped, as surely as the patient is. And you will hate that trap at times, hate what it does to your life, your days, your own sanity. But hate it or not, you are there, and whatever it takes, you have to make the best of it.
(his bright light – danielle steel)

Words like those in the quote are true and loving…

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7 thoughts on “bipolar guilt by association”

    1. Thanks so much for this simple but hard core truth. I have been beating myself wondering why it hurts so bad. I mean, when I lost my daughter in 2008, I grieved in me so bad, hallucinated for 6 good months and attempted suicide some months later. It was then that I thought I could take a vow not to grieve another death again, but oh how fool I was,

      1. Marie, we have to grieve. Not only for our own healing, but to honour those we lost. I cannot imagine the excruciating hell of losing a child, but I have lost too many people too. It never gets easier. You’re not alone though, even if you are alone where you sit. There are plenty of us walking wounded out here.

      2. You know, I planned on writing another chapter of my brother’s book to be published soon, but I decided to read Mike’s story you linked. Thank you. I struggle too you know, I am yet to get a diagnosis but I am trying my best to stay ‘good’ and not have to become a ‘side effect’ too. Please what is the title of that Daniel Steel’s Memoir? Thx once more, M

      3. It’s called His Bright Light. There’s a page on my blog called reading list, which has a list of the mental illness books I’ve read lately. I’m chewing through stuff about bipolar (and some schizophrenia) at a speedy rate and learning a lot.

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