Granny if I may call you so, I am happy to come your way. I guess 35 years will be deserving of a child or grandchild? which ever, I think I love your style.
So, here I am, a former caregiver to a bipolar diagnosed brother who left us at 33. It’s me the one with mental challenges – am those damn moods which swing or spin as if the own me. The one who has hit rock bottom over and again, lost babies and all – fighting for her sanity and escape from ever getting a medical prescription.
And so granny, I am fighting negative thoughts to the extent that I get up from sleep with a heavy face. You know the boxer of a victor who nevertheless got them dem good blows. I fight so hard and calm myself down as much as possible.
Just this morning, after one of those nights, I wanted to start off with the gym. I went to a nearby branch of my club – they had said they start operations on Sept 01 and they are still giving excuses for whatever. Sure I was mad, and I had to spend at least 45 minutes commuting back home, I took a wrong bus, got out next stop and didn’t know whether to go to my regular branch or go home, calm, work and go there in the evening. I survived and am at home with some magic music.
So granny, it is possible to erase or fight them negative thoughts, but it ain’t ever gonna be an easy fight.
Thanks for sharing
While trying to cope with serious illness in my family, I discovered that it was often my own negative thoughts that hurt me the most. After all, there was no reason to imprison myself. If I fell, I got up and subsequently, was being stronger than someone who has never done so. But, I had trouble with the fact that nothing would ever return to the way it had been before schizophrenia and then Alzheimer’s disease affected members of my family. The usual question, ‘why my family?’ did not help one iota. I had to accept the fact that each ending was really a new beginning to the next phase of my life. So, what have I learned? I have learned to expect less after my life failed to give me what I wanted. I had to expect less and enjoy more.
There were times when I was angry and I knew that I had…
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