SoS: Am collecting goodwill messages for mum


My mum whom l had once done a post on as being my first and best heroine, hasn’t been doing too good since the death of my brother.

She isn’t only a mum to me, but a prodigal mum too. I sincerely owe her so much!

And so I thought I could collect short messages from my blogging community and help lighten her day and weekend I hope!

Please leave your comments and probably some mum in here knows how she feels, l think like this beautiful lamp trapped in the ocean’s deep!

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35 thoughts on “SoS: Am collecting goodwill messages for mum”

  1. As mothers we are often asked to shoulder more pain than others can imagine. These sorrows follow us as we move about every moment of every day. Grief knows no bounds and no one has the right to tell you that life will get easier. Those that say this have never walked an hour in your shoes. I find comfort in my gardens. That’s where my daily affirmations make more sense.

    1. Dear Sheri, thank you very much for your consoling words and the experience you have shared. I have tried listening to music. It works sometimes but at other times I must weep before I can feel better. Also, sharing with people who have had their loved ones abused by psychiatric medication and health care systems could be very helpful.

      1. Dear Sheri, l just realize that the age of the child we lose, doesn’t make our grief any more or less bearable. People may hold otherwise, but to each his story. We share to heal and help!

  2. Hi Marie,

    This is a beautiful gesture for your mother. I wrote an article for mothers on my blog a while ago. I think it would be appropriate to share it with your mother.
    ———————————
    “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” ~ Tenneva Jordan

    Your mother carried you in her womb for nine months or less. If she survived that uncertain period (because some don’t make it), she then endured hours of pain in labour.

    She nurtured you.

    Giving birth was the start of your journey together. Your mother held you, her new treasure, tenderly in her arms. You were helpless and depended totally on her for nurturing.

    She gave you milk when you were hungry.
    Changed your nappy when you were wet.
    Comforted you when you cried.
    Cuddled you when you were afraid.
    Picked you up when you fell over and cut your knees.
    Fed you with medicine and kisses when you were ill.
    Kept you warm and cosy when you were cold.
    Protected you from danger and harm.

    “Who ran to help me when I fell, And would some pretty story tell, Or kiss the place to make it well? My mother.” ~Ann Taylor

    “A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” ~Washington Irving

    —————————————————
    I pray your mother will have a lovely weekend full of peace and love. May God continue to strengthen her. Give her my love. 🙂

  3. Marie, what a lovely thing you are doing for your mum. I cannot imagine her grief nor would I ever say could. But I am a mom and I can send her my heart-felt love at this time.

    ===================================================

    As mothers, we are given a gift when we birth our children. We know they are ours and as ours, we protect them every way we possibly can. Until … they leave the nest. God gave them to us to raise, like a momma bird raises her babies, and then we teach them to go into the world and learn some more. Once they are grown, we still love them with our protective mama heart but we cannot control all their movements and actions. Sometimes their decisions hurt us and often frustrate us when we know they know better. And sometimes their decisions leave us devastated. Here is where we can turn to God Our Father and lean on Him so that His heavenly loving arms envelop our hurting soul, heart and body until we reach a point of finding joy in our memories and can once again cope with life day-to-day. My prayers are with you!

    1. Sherrey, I feel like part of me has been cut off and the hurt is so deep and the wound gets fresher as time passes. I am trying to heal with the foundation and the center for Epilepsy and Mental wellbeing that I am setting up. I hope that this will be the balm on my hurting heart.

  4. Marie, this is a lovely tribute to your mom. Losing a child is the worst thing to happen to a mum – I know. But knowing how much you love her will be of great help to her.

    Marie’s Mum – please take good care of yourself and be patient with yourself. Also allow yourself to grieve as long as you need. Don’t let anyone tell you to stop it already. You have been through the worst of all kinds of losses, one that you’ll never get over. But I can guarantee it will get gentler with time. My heart is with you. Madeline

      1. this is indeed a wonderful tribute to your mom. Appreciation and love to our mothers is important, they are our light in our life. May God Bless!

  5. For Marie’s Mom,
    I pray that the messages from everyone here helps to lift you up. I pray that you feel the love and compassion coming your way. I pray that your faith comforts you and gives you strength to endure the loss of your son. Blessings to you dear sister in light and may you find peace.

    Love and light
    Vee

    1. Farria, Thanks for compassion and its soothing effect. I am struggling with my faith hoping that it gives me the assurance that reason cannot afford.

  6. Hi Marie. This is for your mother.

    My dear Bibiana,
    As a mother who has lost an adult son to mental illness, i think I am in a position to understand your feelings. Of course, each person reacts differently, but, in my case, I knew that i had to be stronger than I have ever been in my life, because I did not want my whole family to sink into depressions. So, I spoke to my daughters and asked them whether they wanted to follow my way. They agreed, so, together, we met often and spoke about the good times when we laugted and had fun together. We also cried together, and eventually, found that there were some positive aspects to our lives. We were healthy and there was a great deal of love in our family which helped strengthen us. Each day we found something that we liked doing. Of course, we spoke about my son and their brother a great deal, aware of the fact that we would never forget him.

    Bibiana, it is very important that you take care of yourself my dear. Your family need you. One day, you will be able to smile more easily again as well as discover that you can enoy a sunset as well as the many other miracles and wonders provided by nature. If you lived nearer, I would give you a hug.

    I have read Marie’s book written so well and with such sensitivity and realize that you have a gem of a daughter.

    Sincerely,
    Jill Sadowsky

    1. Dear Jill,
      Thanks for the experience you have shared. I hope that there will come a time when fun memories of my son will console me. As at now what I feel is the pain of the rejection and abuse he suffered from the psychiatric drugs and the health care and social systems. I hope to overcome this hurt with time.

      1. As hard as this might sound, it can hsppen. Slowly, very slowly, you will be able to think morevin the present than in the past, and focus on the other members of your family. You can mail me any time.
        Hugs
        Jill

  7. Hi Marie, this is a wonderful idea for you mother. I can’t pretend I know how she feels but I remember my own mother mourning her son for more than a decade. Am not useful, I know but what I think helped my mother after 2 years of shedding tears and feeling ashamed was her church and a couple of friends that stood by her.

    Also when my mother regained her strength she was unstoppable, she worked all the time and made my sisters and I centre of her world.
    Oh we took away all my brother’s stuff away.
    Hope your mother finds inner strength to pull through this.

    With love,
    FO

    1. Hi Fola,

      Thanks for sharing your experience. Mum is close to her Church community too and has a few of such friends she can count on in need and deed. Yes you are useful and I am glad you took time to comment. As for the shame part, that’s what stigma is all about. While the person is still alive and sometimes even well after he’s gone.
      However, I can’t bring myself to take away my brother’s stuffs oh. I even wear some myself and will use others once I move back into my own flat.
      Yes, I think time will help mum grieve and heal well. I don’t want to be the centre of her universe, I miss my brother too so badly and he was her centre and let his vacum better be filled by her faith.
      Loads of love, Marie

      1. Ha small world – I did the same with Francis’ favourite t-shirt, I wore it for so many years, on the front was written ‘Lover Boy’, he was 13 when he died hence the taste. Glad you are looking after yourself too because this is one thing that I struggled with and blamed my parents for. I felt that for so many years attention was poured on to consoling my mother, my father did so well hiding his emotion (not well at all) his recovery was the longest as he later became voiceless and only spoke to his daily journal entry. See, my parents lost two boys (their only sons) three years apart first 20yrs and then 13yrs old from completely unrelated causes.

        Being a superstitious Nigerian/Africa did not help as it was narrowed to witchcraft, took me two decades to learn that Francis (my fav) died of brain tumour when a guy in the UK (Ivan Noble) documented his ordeal and Tope died of something completely preventable – untreated wound get tetanus and sustained injury from falling onto a tree trunk that damaged his kidney. These facts I pieced together myself when the story of witchcraft made absolutely no sense and of course you can guess who was that witch gobbling up her own son.

        I do hope your mother finds peace with herself to realise she did not cause any of this. It is situation like this that saddens me the most because mental health is still highly stigmatised in Africa.

        Peace.

      2. Thank you Fola! Sorry for your loses! You see l am both a mother who has lost children and a grieving sibling too! I am from Nigeria’s closest neighbour-Cameroon so l know the juju tales! I hope you are all fine too

      3. We are all fine now, thank you. In this case, I do believe that time does heal. It has been 21yrs. A big framed family photo that Included Francis is on my parents’ living room is no

  8. Fola, to me, the toughest pictures and all are inside you! When l’ll and surely mum will get to that stage of seeing only the “good” pictures up there, then we’ll testify that time indeed heals! Nothing is permanent here below right?

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