From a people pleaser to a self server: Looking forward to a balance…


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Enjoying a happy selfish hour reading Greg Archer’s book in a pub all by myself

The rate at which I am beginning to enjoy my own company, hmm. People who knew me before have remarked how scare I am becoming. Some say that e-family of yours get to feel you much more than we do:) I just can’t seem to care especially now… I mean it is self service for as long as it can last. I think I had worked so much on people pleasing in my before now life, the girl in me was almost killing herself. To think I did that for like 3 decades, wow- and what I got in return? Misery!!!

I have become almost so selfish with myself, my time, my everything… in the house, I prefer my company to being with others. I enjoy doing my stuffs in silence especially reading, laundry… I have worked purposely on speaking less and doing so softly.

Yes there are times when I make efforts to be out there with others you know, but my patience naggs me… and then my hearing not being so good, and my not wanting to have those hearing aids on all 24/7, means I’ll rather read than listen … and this sucks for many around…

I know this is a transition period, but I am gentle on myself, living and loving it out until a balance is struck. Today after work I offered myself one good selfish happy hour in a pub reading Greg Archer’s book. Thanks to Dyane I got to know one more amazing soul and read now into poland and discover so much to add to my ‘brain bug’.

And there are my Me times which I began having last January. I remember the first of such outing how apprehensive I was. Since returning, I have had one – an entire weekend in Limbe. I am hoping to have one again soon…

Anyway I have a few days left before I self-publish my fourth memoir and I need some peace and harmony in my cosmos…

Has anyone ever been through such stage?

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5 thoughts on “From a people pleaser to a self server: Looking forward to a balance…”

  1. What have I not done for the ‘ungratefuls’ who call me names today? Has this changed me? You cannot cheat nature but you can modify your version to suit your advantage as well. I enjoy spending quality time at home cooking, blogging, cleaning and sometimes sleeping. There is nothing out there that one can’t find or make at home. There is indeed a time to please people and a time to please self. Many may not understand and will give you names but the more scarce you are, the respect you earn from those who took your leniency for granted. We all have been ‘people pleasers’ and we can’t totally change but can modify to suit our benefits. You see a mentally sick child will not take direct answers a normal child can, so in order not to frustrate the lad’s efforts, you will many a times say yes to encourage him. That makes us a people pleaser still. Doesn’t it Marie?

    1. Dear Amy, you get the point, you get the picture, you share the idea, and even the passion.But I don’t agree with you that reacting favorably than otherwise to a mentally sick child makes you a people pleaser. That is your soul your are serving and that child you are helping in your own way you know 🙂

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