Posted in Marie's Garden

Where does your Peace come from …?


I once read a memoir written by one of my heroines called Iyanla Vanzart. The book which was titled Peace from Broken Pieces… was a very intense memoir which took us via the author’s journey to find peace after she had seemingly ‘gained’ so much, only to lose twice as much including her daughter and all time soul buddie. I was no doubt left shaken when I read that and realized that it was possible to pull through after going through so much in life, and to find peace. (reminds me to do that book review…)

Peace I seek, peace is all I want to give. More than every material possession, my priciest possession is my peace. When I lose it even for a second, I can’t vouch neither for my ‘holistic wellbeing’ nor what I can offer to anyone else even in terms of the least courteous relationship.

At the 3 day spiritual retreat I just completed, peace kept coming up because each time I’ll admit I was in search of peace. My spiritual director asked about when I felt so nervous and turned to food for comfort, didn’t that bring any peace? I said no. He asked if my friends didn’t help? I said no. He asked if even my sons didn’t bring me peace and joy? I agreed they did for some time but I equally admitted to getting irritated with them and how I sometimes bought them stuffs so they should focus on that and let me find some peace in my aloneness. Gradually, with his direction, I came to realize and admit that peace could never come from without.

The times in my life when I had ever felt peace, it was because I was spiritually whole above all. It never had to do with my material standing or even who my partner or friends where nor what they thought about me. Even my family in both the nuclear and extended sense could not bring me peace. No Fame nor Fortune, Friends nor Foes oh my nothing from the exterior could give or bring me peace…

Aha, my Peace came from making peace with my Almighty Father. No matter what seemed to be my outward show of strength, stability and even shape, I went through real tough times of restlessness within – synonymous to having no peace of mind and mine… No doubt I couldn’t give Peace… all my deeds brought such headaches and heartaches I was damned and almost thought myself doomed…

But alas… there it dawned on me… I could finally answer Father’s question when on the 28th of of October I felt such peace I had not felt in years. I had just made an amazingly big peace with my Almighty Father, He who had never relented/nor given up on me; and who like the Prodigal Father was watching out for my return. Father I cried, MY PEACE COMES FROM WITHIN! Alleluia I was Rahabilitated and I was rightly the woman in Jn 8 v 1-11…

My spiritual director helped me to see that peace doesn’t need any material attachments. The evidence is that, on that day I was ‘bare’. In a very modest surrounding, with the barest necessity and away from all the ‘vibes’ of modern day life, yet I could find such peace I hadn’t found even the previous day in the same setting, nor the previous years in far better off settings.

Dear all, the Peace I now have is really that one of total Abandonment to my Almighty Father’s will. I will in the coming days share with you my legacy and prayer written on that day. Oh how I have so much Peace now, the type that surpasses human understanding. Materially, financially, socially I am struggling; but spiritually I am riding high and I know that He who is in me, What I have in me, is stronger than anything that can come against me or seem daunting as is. Peace indeed be Still Marie it is well with your soul…

Oh join me praise my Almighty Father as you reflect on where your peace comes from… Shalom

Today is the feast of all souls… I thinl of my brother dearest Gabriel but I have peace within and the pain is sipping and sipping away with each passing day




Marie Angele Abanga (simplified to Marie Abanga) aka MAG likes to describe herself as a “Jacqueline of several trades”. She is an everyday woman and mother with a zigzag profile. Let’s give it a try! She is an Activist, an Author, a Coach, a Consultant, a Feminist, a Lawyer, a Lecturer, a Prince 2 Project Manager, a Psychotherapist, a Philanthropist, a minister of the Word of God and...! She just loves to sum it up by saying she is a person of passions and a tale of talents. Her life’s journey has filled over 6 books already and her three musketeers keep her busy at home. MAG is also the founder and CEO of the association Hope for the Abused and Battered, and the Country Director of the Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation for Epilepsy & Mental wellbeing. The plethora of life's experiences and shenanigans she has lived through and learned from in near 4 decades of existence, have equipped her with such an arsenal to coach, train and motivate just any and everyone. She is so charismatic, dynamic and full of life, going by her designed mantra of 3Ds: Determination; Discipline and Dedication. These sum her+her quest to be the best version of herself and impact others perfectly. She attributes all her wealth of knowledge to her conscientious attendance of both informal and formal school.

10 thoughts on “Where does your Peace come from …?

  1. Marie, this is awesome. Peace is one of the best things you can ever have. Especially, peace from the Almighty God. There is nothing similar. When you have that inner peace that surpasses all understanding, it doesn’t matter what challenges you’re going through. Somehow, you will cope without pulling your hair out, so to speak.

    I’m so happy you went on the retreat. It’s just what the doctor ordered. This has put you on the right track to being the woman you’re supposed to be.

    It’s good to know that the pain of your loss is also slowly slipping away. But, he will always hold a dear spot in your heart.

    All the best. 🙂

    1. Dear Junie,
      Thanks for your comment. I bet you personally know what you are writing about. Sometimes I just don’t want to talk about my walk of faith – sometimes near abandonned – sometimes jogs or runs – I have a once more definite proof that I am a chosen daughter of Zion.
      You personally know my retreat journey as if you were right here with me… I thank you for walking it spiritually and morally with me…
      As for my loss of Gabriel, I surrendered it all to God too at the retreat… I actually writing a play to fight the stigma surrounding epilepsy and mental illness…
      All the best too darling, In Christ’s Love

      1. Good morning Marie,

        Yes, I certainly do know how the peace of God feels. I’ve experienced it often. But only when I surrender all to Him. It doesn’t work when I try to run things my way. If it wasn’t for His peace I don’t know where I would be today. Talk about your faith or anything else, when you feel a need in your heart to do so. You never know who might need to hear what you have to say.

        And yes, you are indeed a chosen daughter of Zion. That’s why He ordered your steps to go on that retreat. It refreshed you spiritually, emotionally and physically. That’s what you need in this period of your life. It’s my pleasure to support you in any way I can.

        I’m so glad you were able to surrender your loss of Gabriel to God. He will continue to heal your pain. He did it for me and He will do it for you. God is awesome. Well done on writing the play. It’s needed.

        Have a blessed day, my love. 🙂

      2. Dear Junie,
        Thanks for your oh so thoughtful reply. Yes, I came to the conclusion at the retreat after retrospection and studying some relevant passages like the prodigal son, that the Turning Point was in your making the decision. Once you make that, He is always there on the lookout with open arms.
        Yes, I’ll take about my faith much more whenever I feel like, although wanting to be neutral sometimes especially online gets the better of me. And hmm, it’s been changed from a play to a movie, so a big project for me there now.
        All the best to you, emailing you shortly with some other chicken soup hahaha

  2. I am so happy for you that you have found this amazing peace.
    You know I love you, and I’m also overjoyed you have brought little Ella into your life, beautiful Marie. 💗

    1. Aw lady, of course by His Grace am not shaking yet cause Ella and brothers need me. And well I am enjoying this business of living much more than I get frustrated and that’s for real. This means I have come a very long way and I know … Am so grateful…am ready…and yes am so Happy…
      Sharing is a virtue and am humbled to have that 🙂

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