Why???


Marie Abanga
Needs perpectives and retrospectives

Why do you do the things you do?

Hello e-world and hope we all start off another week with gusto.

Today, I want to use 3 instances to reflect on why I do somethings I do. I am writing this post because some incidents in life have left me so full of contemplation or reflections on the why I do them in the first place. I am chosing 3 of them I think and hope we can relate with or just get us to think about our own instance.

  1. Cleaning up especially at others homes

I love cleaning up. You can read this post I wrote about that. When I visit someone, if I feel comfortable being there, I’ll very often end up in the kitchen offering to help. My task of choice is doing the dishes. And no not staking in a dishwasher which I near got so offended having to use in Belgium, I mean using my hands and dipping stuffs in water and greasing them clean. My next offer, is cleaning bathrooms. One weekend, I was at a friend’s and I felt the urge to clean the bathroom. That’s not my first time doing so, and well maybe sadly, each time I do it not even a thank you is said. That day a ‘selfish’ thought crossed my mind: ‘Why do it when no one cares anyway?’ … But then I calmed myself down, do it for the love of you and for the fact that you’ll be using the bathroom or clean dishes yourself anyway… In my home, there’s an artwork on which it is written: IN OUR HOME CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS . I am happy living that mantra wherever I feel comfortable, appreciation or not!

        2.  Writing

I love reading and writing, have loved these from childhood. When 4 years ago I realized I could be an Indie Author, I skipped for it. For me, it was all about carrying a passion to another bigger platform. That has brought me so much joy, I keep writing both for publishing, on my blog and in my journals at home. Income for my writings is sincerely not measured by royalties but by the therapeutic wind blowing through my brain as I type. Secondly, when I get any feedback from someone who has been touched in anyway by what I write or have written, I am so fulfilled. I still don’t know how to read or understand wordpress statistics neither am I interested. I don’t compare my blog progress by likes, comments and views or clicks etc – really I’ll be deceiving myself if I wanted to take on monitoring those.  My love of writting even extends to doing book reviews regardless of if I get any on my own books. I mean I wish I could afford to be a professional book reviewer. Of the 25 reviews I have left on the amazon, 17 have been found to be useful. What Grace oh my! The same with reading, I read for the love of me, it’s a mental stimulation technique and ain’t that the best way of knowledge acquisition? That is why I follow so many blogs and read many of them, leaving comments on posts I am moved by. It musn’t and is the least reciprocal but I am ok with that. I don’t think I follow all who follow me anyway !

        3. Being & Stayinh positive

I recall insisting to my mum that all what I’ve been through in life I see as experiences and not hurts, mistakes and … I had quickly come to realize that to keep striving in life, I was better off being positive than not. Gladly, one way I discovered to be and stay positive is to deal with my emotions and process whatever I have been through sooner than later. I do those by writing and reading most especially. There are sure some situations which will take much longer to deal with and process, but the secret I have discovered is staying positive that that too shall come to pass. Being positive for me also means reaching out as soon as I can. I follow my instinct and reach out – more times than not, the support has been trememendous. A few weeks ago, I reached out by email to 5 or so blogging friends and they were each in their own capacity so supportive. Being positive for me is abovr all a guarantee of mental and emotional wellbeing. Even my physical wellbeing is assured if I know I am trying my best and some days workout and watching what I eat,  may be not as good as others. I have never measured the raison d’etre of my optimism by ‘material achievements’ or whatever is considered as ‘success’. I decided in January to keep a Gratitude Journal and each evening I write down at least 5 things am grateful for. That way, I lay me down to sleep with positive thoughts and actually keep track during the day only of such incidents. This morning for example, not panicking when I thought I was late fills me with gratitude and am positive I can thrive in that domain too.

And these dear e-world are some special instance which help me to realize the big WHY I do the things I do. I think getting to that point is a good thing and so maybe my post will help some of you start your own reflections too; or well just know you ain’t alone in your struggles to understanding why???

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2 thoughts on “Why???”

  1. Dear Marie,

    So many blogs do not reach my inbox any longer, but yours does, now, at last, and in a crisis, i read this, and i thank you, thank you, for being you, for your blog, for reading and reviewing my book, even though i cannot read and review others’ (cannot finish any book at all, alas) thank you for washing my dishes and i have no doubt at all cleaning my bathroom, even though it was Mott’s grandmother who got to enjoy the fruits of all these labors not i, at least she did not have to enter my filthy apartment and clean it herself, and it was thanks to your visit and cleaning that summer (was it already two whole summers ago?) nthat she had a decent place to spend a few happy last months in before she went back to Batavia NY,essentially to die…SO I thank you, you are such a sweet heart and have brought so much wealth and richness into my life. I cannot tell you how grateful I am…and not just for the cleaning and all that, but for YOU your smile your attitude your bravery your INtREPIDItY!!! YES, MY DEAR I have never met any one more intrepid than you and I love you for it!

    My best to you and my love always,
    pammy

    1. Lol Pammy lol for writing all this. You make me blush so humbly oh my. You know, I kept feeling I would have loved to stay some more and clean out some place I may have over looked. And now, look at the ripple effect; Mott’s Granny lived there and shortly after her return to NY she went forth. Her last memories of spending time with her grandson in his neighbour’s so cozy clean apartment… you see
      And now talk about intrepid, you got me to step up that. I didn’t know that word nor what a cesna was until I met you lol. And for my heart, I just try to do unto others what I’ll like others to do unto me. And when my soul clicks with you… am in all the way.
      So even if am not there with you physically, know Pammy am there in spirit and am rubbing your palm and letting you talk all what you want to me, and if possible I’ll hug you and tell you this episode too shall come to pass – then I’ll ask you what I can do to help just then. Always in my fondest thoughts my Precious Pammy

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