When the Anxiety revisits…but now you have a plan


Hello world, funny oga anxiety is revisiting just as I finish my CBT diploma course where the last lesson was on anxiety and OCD…irony right? 

Let’s start from somewhere, why this unsolicited visit.

  1. I lost a very dear maternal cousin and near went all numb about it…that’s not usual me nor ‘conventional’ way of grieving out here…so am anxious something is wrong with me…
  2. I also lost a great uncle, my dad’s favourite uncle and the dad of two cousins I love so much…paternal side now…equally so touched, seem to reach out more here and story short…some internal and external conflict there with grieving and all…
  3. I have finished some work I wanted to before October ran out, but my work load seems to be piling and now I can’t even blog as I want or what I had anticipated… Anxiety, mild panic, stomach bubbles

My plan

  1. Am writing it all down and telling it gently off
  2. I am being authentic and vulnerable all the way and that’s ok
  3. What I have finished deserves a celebration, it was a tough 10  lesson CBT course which I covered in 3 months in addition to all other I do
  4. I will focus more on the positives and be ever grateful for all…the boys all did so well in school, I am making real and good friends, am entering a poetry competition and have put together the 10 poems required, am managingbto keep up with sports inspire of the mind tug of war… I have one of the best sisters in the whole wide world…
  5. I know many love me and look up to me, I deserve that and it is reciprocated
  6. I know the difference between who I was and who I now am…I have to consciously make the choice each day to remember, affirm and celebrate that…
  7. I will blog as I want in due time…am already doing my best and a break whether intended or not is still ok

Hence

Anxiety you can visit in my absence. If am home you can stay a while and then leave because I  don’t have patience for toxic folks and naysayers…

And you world, what’s your plan or experience with such ‘losers’ like Anxiety?

P.s: a few hours later you’re laugh at myself for almost going back home because I forgot to wear earrimgs…coming from someone who dfinitely cares more about how she feels than looks lol… That was anxiety trying to lull me back home hahaha

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6 thoughts on “When the Anxiety revisits…but now you have a plan”

    1. Dear Linda thanks for your comment. As soon as I wrote this post I started to feel better, as for a break hmm I just wrote a poem to tell how long it lasted hahaha. On a serious note, anxiety sometimes helps deal with my perfectionist quest and keeps me grounded because I realize and accept life wouldn’t be as I want and I just deserve to make the best of what I got. Hope you are much better out there in NM

  1. Anxiety kicked in yesterday Night as Well but i opted to be still. First i wanted to listen to those motivational bla bla bla speeches (without any offense). But i opted for stillness. I just listened the best of Yurima. My whole body and mind got absorbed.sometimes looking for stillness from the inside when all seem chaotic from the outisde is the key.

    1. Thanks so much for your comment dear thesm. Having a plan or knowing what works for you and when is ideal. I love me moments too but when anxiety visits I have to receive it hahaha

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