Posted in Coaching and Therapy, Marie's Garden, Mental Health Advocacy

I am Sophisticated and other mix from my world


Advocate me
Yeah that lady you see there is said to be sophisticated

Hello world and happy weekend,

  1. I wouldn’t have blogged about being sophisticated if that remark hadn’t been thrown at me twice in two days. First on Wednesday and then on Thursday. First case was on a whatsapp forum where I wrote: ‘with all due respect I beg to disagree…’ The backlash was to me ‘complicated’. First I was told I was disrespectful (in writing the way I did – have learnt now), next I was told I was ‘jealous’ (because I said much time was wasted on a professional group wishing happy birthdays unend – like 93 messages that day was just that), and then the: ‘You are sophisticated’ – leave the group if you don’t like… Thursday another incident with an individual on whatsapp again. He write to me a second time without my name – shoots something like: ‘Hey, can we meet…’ I had already told him I find it more personal when my name is used at least in the first exchange for the day, and I had told him so the previous time we chatted… He didn’t take my gentle reminder lightly and: ‘You are sophisticad’ was dished again. So, maybe am sophisticated after all. I really don’t mind how anyone sees me because I see myself as it matters to me the most and am proud of who I am becoming big time. If sophisticated is part of the description by some – then so be it;
  2. It isn’t my business how others raise their kids, but if I have to help babysit them for a weekend, it gets into my business. You see one of my neighbours with whom I have a very cordial relationship lost her grandma and couldn’t travel with her two kids. She asked if I could have them for the weekend and I said no problem. They have slept here before and are quiet kids for their tender ages of 3.5 and 2 years respectively. Her first is a boy and the second a girl. I have observed to her because we talk alot and cross paths a lot, that I think she is clearly favouring her daughter over her son. She didn’t hide from me that he reminds her of their dad and all the pain he has/is causing her. The daughter named after her mum is clearly her baby, fondly called mama and has so much stuff more than the boy. Now when she left them, she packed lots of stuffs and a spare shoe for the girl, and the boy had just a tiny handful and no pair of shoes at all. He came in slippers while the daughter had shoes on. I am none to judge but I personally know such glaring discrepancy can take a big toll on a child’s self esteem and even make matters worse at home for the mother. I was at her back for months before she let go her style of correcting the son. She could trash some life out of him and it caused me real painful flasbacks – of course he just kept ‘fumbling’ and the cycle went on… I see a big difference in that area today;
  3. When others know you take care of them in various ways, it may be difficult for them to think you may need taking care of too…I mean even self care is viewed to them as being selfish – Yep I may be Sophisticated is that it? Since Monday last week I have been fighting inflamations on my knees and eventually right hand, but whenever I mentionned that it was quickly brushed aside like it’ll pass don’t worry and then back to their own concerns… I have therefore decided to step up my selfishness scale until I find a healthy balance. I am therefore home today, done the barest minimum for my boys and ofcourse much for myself starting with a long walk – I am starting a new book, finishing a movie and hoping to start and finish another one…

I am very grateful for my support network (quality over quantity is what makes my network so special). One of those I reached out to FOR FREE (seriously reach out to him if you need any expert assistance – and it’s all FOR FREE how big heart is that), is Doctor Jonathan Coltier who has the incredible blog: It’s all about healthy choices

Ever grateful for life, happy weekend every one

 

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Author:

Marie Angele Abanga (simplified to Marie Abanga) aka MAG likes to describe herself as a “Jacqueline of several trades”. She is an everyday woman and mother with a zigzag profile. Let’s give it a try! She is an Activist, an Author, a Coach, a Consultant, a Feminist, a Lawyer, a Lecturer, a Prince 2 Project Manager, a Psychotherapist, a Philanthropist, a minister of the Word of God and...! She just loves to sum it up by saying she is a person of passions and a tale of talents. Her life’s journey has filled over 6 books already and her three musketeers keep her busy at home. MAG is also the founder and CEO of the association Hope for the Abused and Battered, and the Country Director of the Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation for Epilepsy & Mental wellbeing. The plethora of life's experiences and shenanigans she has lived through and learned from in near 4 decades of existence, have equipped her with such an arsenal to coach, train and motivate just any and everyone. She is so charismatic, dynamic and full of life, going by her designed mantra of 3Ds: Determination; Discipline and Dedication. These sum her+her quest to be the best version of herself and impact others perfectly. She attributes all her wealth of knowledge to her conscientious attendance of both informal and formal school.

2 thoughts on “I am Sophisticated and other mix from my world

  1. Happy weekend to you too, Marie 🙂 I’m glad to hear you are taking some Marie-time for selfcare, that’s so important and yet, as you say, often people call it “selfish” because you’re not spending that time on them. Now, *that’s* selfishness (their attitude)! I’ve felt rather under the weather, as they say, this past week. Just a cold I reckon, nothing serious at all. But I’ve recognised it will pass quicker if I ease back a bit, rest more etc. So I’ve not been as available for other folk as usual. You’re so right to point out that it’s about finding a balance.

    1. Hi Marty, happy weekend too. Yep it’s been a little while. Thanks for the comment. It’s easier leaving a comment on wp from my phone than on blogger helas. Hahaha, now I know am sophisticated, Me moments are part of that description and I owe no one an explanation sort of. Sorry for your cold, yes our bodies have ways of letting us know it’s break time. Finding that balance I guess is a long term assignment lol

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