Posted in Coaching and Therapy, Marie's Garden, Mental Health Advocacy

We all have our Insecurities: We all have our limitations

Hello World, It may be way too soon for me to say here comes another of those weeks, I think it is still some residual burnout jumbled up with some mood cycles spiked a few weekes ago by a higher than usual hyped calendar.

Let’s start with Insecurities

Well, something this weekend, and I mean as trival as asking for a selfie, made me face the reality that I like many others had insecurities and limitations. I have never doubted this, although I didn’t call them out as such before not ‘smile’ at anyone who ‘dared’ tell me so – if you get the gist.

So, during an event, I met someone I have admired on facebook for a while, we are a decade or so apart in age with she being a junior, but share some similarities like being staunch advocates of whatever our causes are. We also say it as it is and try to live our best. We acknowledged each other that day, appreciated our outfits, neeedless to say we were maybe the only two dressed in African prints (in a culture where fashion and trendy means competing with Beyonce hmm), but I didn’t ask for a selfie, or that we get someone to take us a picture. True each time we met and exchanged a word, there was buzzing around, but then I could still try right? Ok, at the gala my battery died down before I met her again, but maybe if I asked, her phone could have done just good right? And to think the very next day I was out there on facebook bluffing about our outfits and had no picture to show? Had only mine like I was the only chick à l’africaine you know. Insecurity period!

So, if on the same day and event I can have different encounters and behaviours, then I should either be perfectly human or not lol. Seriously, the above got me thinking. I mean I don’t fear striking conversations, why fear ask for ‘mere’ snapshots? There are other times I have asked for snapshots, so it’s not like ‘jamais fait – or never before done’. Actually, that same morning before I ran into her, I was just from making a new contact, a lady who sat a row ahead and I could feel she is on her phone ‘social networking’ just because… so I introduced myself to her and got to meet a dynamic lady who has a restaurant in my own neigbhourhood called ‘Fresh Cravings’ – guess who plans to take her guys there this weekend? So when Saraphine asked that we do a selfie, sure I smiled some mindful of the chilly room.

Saraphine Yondo
Saraphine Yondoh of Fresh Cravings and I

The simple conclusion is that I have my own insecurities, and they fluctuate based on circumstances.

And Limitations

Limitations I want to look at from the point of a limiting circumstance or occurence or event etc. We probably have them everywhere, right close to us, in our homes, interractions and all. I bring it up to say those limitations do not and should not make us any less human I think or grateful our lives. A small and very current example is that, since I got to the office this morning, I am struggling to find my groove to work as planned, the internet connection is frustrating and this also limits any progress (tbt there is also much I could do without the internet connection) I should have made right? But the laptop itself has been rebooted already twice too. I can choose to give up this day as is, focus on preparing my notes for lectures tonight, (like double checking them since I prepared them long ago lol) and go bitch about the day althrough the night. Will that make me feel any better and less ‘guilty’ at having wasted half the day already not really doing much? I thus fell back on writing, and this post is here.

Whenever it goes up, I will know I haven’t done what I planned this morning but I didn’t let the morning’s limitation keep me down. I also think others will be inspired and motivated by this post. I will even conclude by throwing out a question: Has anyone any insecurities and limitations they may want to share/or better still the tips on dealing with this?

Thanks for reading and have a great week everyone


Marie Angele Abanga (simplified to Marie Abanga) aka MAG likes to describe herself as a “Jacqueline of several trades”. She is an everyday woman and mother with a zigzag profile. Let’s give it a try! She is an Activist, an Author, a Coach, a Consultant, a Feminist, a Lawyer, a Lecturer, a Prince 2 Project Manager, a Psychotherapist, a Philanthropist, a minister of the Word of God and...! She just loves to sum it up by saying she is a person of passions and a tale of talents. Her life’s journey has filled over 6 books already and her three musketeers keep her busy at home. MAG is also the founder and CEO of the association Hope for the Abused and Battered, and the Country Director of the Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation for Epilepsy & Mental wellbeing. The plethora of life's experiences and shenanigans she has lived through and learned from in near 4 decades of existence, have equipped her with such an arsenal to coach, train and motivate just any and everyone. She is so charismatic, dynamic and full of life, going by her designed mantra of 3Ds: Determination; Discipline and Dedication. These sum her+her quest to be the best version of herself and impact others perfectly. She attributes all her wealth of knowledge to her conscientious attendance of both informal and formal school.

8 thoughts on “We all have our Insecurities: We all have our limitations

  1. Insecurities about selfies… yes I had that problem a few months ago, when I flew to Washington state to visit my daughter and my oldest granddaughter. My daughter is 42 years old. My granddaughter is 25. I feel like I should still be 25, but I will be 65 in a few months.

    Several selfies were taken of the 3 of us standing in a row. I do not look 25. I do not look 42. I look like the grandmother that I am.

    I handle my feelings of insecurity by reminding myself that getting older is better than dying young. I also remind myself that I am so very blessed to have such a wonderful daughter and wonderful granddaughter! My daughter is a graduate student at Whitworth University, studying to be a psychologist. And her daughter, my granddaughter, is a graduate student at Harvard University, studying to be a social anthropologist.

    I am very blessed indeed.

    1. Dear Linda, you see there we go. Behind any insecurity, once we honestly call it out, we see a barge of securities come with it. I will honestly say you look like just turned 50 but feel much younger and why not?
      Validating the feeling and leaving it at that is awesome, the itch is when steps are taken (sometimes risky and unhealthy ones), say going by your scenario, aesthetic procedures to tuck in and chop off etc so a 55 actually looks 25.
      What you have done is therefore so great because you admit your insecurity and chose to be grateful for the securities in there. So many and so beautiful I don’t think you could chose to give those up just to still be 25.

      And you know, I can understand why someone will still want to be 25 even 4 decades later. If they missed out on that period of their lives, like some of us did on some periods of our childhoods, now that we know so much and can afford much better, wouldn’t it be cool to go back in time and live out that stage of our life as we want it?

      Thanks so much for your comment and your invaluable friendship. I don’t knock on your door often, but when I do you always help me out. God bless you darling

      1. God bless you too, Marie, and thank you so much for what you said! I would like to engrave these words that you wrote on a plaque to hang on my wall, because this is very true:
        “I can understand why someone will still want to be 25 even 4 decades later. If they missed out on that period of their lives, like some of us did on some periods of our childhoods, now that we know so much and can afford much better, wouldn’t it be cool to go back in time and live out that stage of our life as we want it?”

        Yes! You are exactly right, I have feel as though I never really got to be 25!

  2. Everyone experiences both of these issues. Some come across more confident but that doesn’t mean trepidation isn’t felt. I just step outside the situation and think, “what’s the worst that could happen?” Putting life in perspective this way makes it easier for me to pursue situations that may create a little emotional angst.

    1. So right doc. That was the title of my 4th memoir, What’s the worst case scenario… As you rightly mentioned in a previous comment of yours, all these life learning’s are continuous. I really appreciate your insightful comments always

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