Introducing Family Meditation: Kindly wish us well; be inspired & motivated too

David definitely doesn’t want conflict so much he already kicked out the c lol

Hello world, happy mid-week.

January 2018, is making its way out and I have successfuly completed a month of meditation using not one but 3 awesome books (PN: a very intense experience, glad two of the books were for a month only…wouldn’t do that again next time). Anyway, wow, girl am proud of you especially given the events of this past month and near 2 weeks of ill health. I mean, if I could persist, then you can imagine how good it was. I took my books even for mami mami’s burial in the village. Indeed, I so benefited from the meditation that I felt to introduce family meditation would be the right thing to do instead of just lecturing the boys on what I was learning. They had already been curious enough .

The above book is one of those I was using, written by Gerald Jampolsky and his lovely wife Diane (talk of me having a crush on anyone with this name 🐩, my ears fall in their aura lol) founders of Attitudinal Healing and Attitudinal Healing International respectively. That book has 18 cards to use each other day, and some other great stuff which I also find kids friendly. David our record man wrote it out on the board so we see that daily and make the choice we want to experience each moment.

We therefore started off today with a powerful poem at the end of the book captioned: “Love is for Everyone”. We took turns reading a stanza, we reflected and shared and promised to try to live that poem today…

Dear all, another soulful journey am embarking my family on, I sincerely wish we make it to a more serene spot and that someone reading this gets inspired or stays motivated.

I kicked of this year of Grace with a big kick which landed me back in bed with an RA Flare, some emotional and mental muggles and etc. But am Alive as WH (RIP) sang and am Grateful for that.

Nkongteh (This means thank you in my dialect)


With a hurt in my heart, I watched him go and hope he learns a bitter lesson about borrowing…

An old shot of the musketeers for fun (LtoR: Alain, Gaby and David)

This week may be kids week on my blogging roll at this rate…

I just have to write this out and get over it while really hoping and praying Gaby learns a bitter lesson about borrowing. I can’t continue bailing him out lest he grows up with that…

The deal is that he is often owing Alain money for different curious reasons. A piece of meat/chicken, an hour with his bike, some candy or biscuit, or his whatever Gaby wants and gives any amount to get.

Yesterday he ended up owing Alain 200frs for whatever I couldn’t really understand. This morning, his school allowance of 200frs was reclaimed by Alain. Gaby wanted to pay in 2 installments, but as they often mimick Koffi Gombo (an ivorian comedian): “No pity in business”. He paid up and came crying to mama about how unfair life is and how inconsiderate Alain is.

I had begged them to stop this lending and borrowing business and David had long stopped, but those two nah they are “Tom and Jerry” to put it simply. Other times, I will be sorry and give him another 100frs, but today I decided to add the cereals in his bowl knowing he wouldn’t get a dime from me for school. He made his bed, mama ain’t lying down with him anymore on that.

He is a popular guy in school with a big heart too. I hope a friend shows him extra love today; but above all that he learns a bitter lesson about borrowing.

Sometimes, some hurt actually helps our growth process from personal experience; what do you think gentle readers and followers?

Sometimes when your kid is acting naughty, empower them; but, watch out any promise you make on the spur

Hello world, happy new week. You sew us glowing in our selfie, hmm it was in celebrating good bargaining and promise kept o.

Our story started at 5am when Gaby came out to me grumbling and wanting to cry because Alain refused he could have breakfast before bathing. I mean, wouldn’t that have been a very unhealthy precedence?

I tried to bully him into going to bathe, nada. I told him to sit down and wait until I finished my workout but the whining continued. I was already wrapping up and it occured to me I could do with a natural back massage.

I thus told Gaby that in return for the massage, we could bathe together, eat together and leave home together. He accepted and after the massage and while I relaxed some, he skipped some with my long rope…no more whinning hurray…guess our photographer? That very Alain hahaha

The deal now came to be the promise I made. Ok, bathing together wasn’t something difficult other than trying to get him to stop playing with the shower hose. As for eating together, nop, Gaby didn’t wait for me because of course I hardly sit down on a Monday of all days, to eat breakfast at home.

Finally, my leaving home together idea was to say our byes up the street where I’ll take a cab to the office. But Gaby thought it meant walking all the way to his school.

Now, walking with Gaby to school is far different from walking with David to school. You don’t walk in silence enjoying the feeling of walking together holding hands, na you kick peebles, wow at birds and their nests and greet all neighbours you recognize. You even stop to greet the mentally ill by the big refuse hip near their school, and then well get to school late when the national anthem is being sung and the gate is closed until after that.

I just got to work and marvel at how I handled the wahala of this morning, spared our minds and hearts some hurts and toxic energy, while making the best of my promise.

I will however think twice before making any promises in the future lol.

Happy Monday us all

Take them along as much as you can…

Hello and happy weekend e-world, I just felt inspired to write this blog to motivate the mums and parents in here. As the title says, I want to encourage us to take our kids along as much as we can, on those heart and soul outings because that’s the best way they can learn. You know, when they are exposed to life (other facets of) early on, those experiences make or mare them and helps them make the choices they opt for when they get to that stage of their lives… Two of my ‘daughters’ had babies last week or so, and out here it is custom to go visit the new babies with gifts or cooked food. Cooked food because that helps the new mum worry less about feeding her family, and rest more because she needs it.

David helped me to cook what we call ‘pepper soup yams’, and we were ready in time for lunch.

Even Ella kept us company in the kitchen lol

I couldn’t just shuttle in and out of both homes, so I sent them off to the home they knew, while I went to the other and met them where they were after 2 hours or so. I know it can be tough organising all the logistics and even getting them interested in this otherwise ‘women stuffs’, but starting out at an early age is the deal – at least for me it worked. I took them to visit 2 orphanages when they were toddlers, and I have taken them to the ghetto parts of town for the experience too, and we all attended mami mami’s wake keeping.

Can you also see what Lady Diana’s exposure of her sons to the other side of life has yielded today? I indeed feel good taking them along as much as I can, for that is giving them real lessons in informal school while increasing our family time. I therefore encourage and motivate us moms, single mons and parents in here to try as much as we can to take our children along…

Smiling vs Wearing a Smile


These pictures are taken on the same day, indeed minutes from each other, but in the one I am smiling and in the other I am wearing a smile. Can anyone tell which is which?

Sometimes in life, we may be conscious we are merely wearing smiles. We so wear them until they become our signature smiles. That smile which gives nothing away, and which is always there 365 days a year.

I used to wear smiles a lot, not naturally one to smile in my teens and only wearing one when prodded. Now in my ‘old em middle age’, I have come to find myself and to love the free and love-full me, smiling is a lot easier. But for the sake of me, I can’t just fake it when not in the mood unless I see that not wearing a smile can lead to more debris than I can clean up. Am I the only who goes through such ‘cycles’?

In conclusion, in the above pictures, I am smiling in the picture on the left (to me that was the last picture I was ready to submit myself too and having decided I had had enough fun, I relaxed fully and it glowed from inside out even if the smile may not have been my broadest). In the picture on the right, taken like shortly after the other when I was cajoled to hang on for a few more pictures, I slumped and said whatever – there you go. I wore smiles thereafter for most shoots until I couldn’t stand it no more and left.

I share this post to inspire and motivate and hope it serves that purpose. Indeed, we have to dare authenticity, know our own selves and to the core; and try as much to smile instead of wearing a smile in life.

Happy midweek everyone

Even if only for Ambe, I wouldn’t stop doing all the advocacy I do

Plain Me
One of the products of the photo shoot: Remember the post behind the scenes?

Hello World,

I am still dabbling with my different grooves; but I could tell from the work out rhythm this morning, they are coming up slowly but surely.
I was therefore very delighted to read the following in my email like 2 days ago:

Dear madam,

I have read your two books, “My Brother’s Journey From Genius To Simpleton” and “My Unconventional Loves.” Equally I just visited your website a few minutes ago, and the Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation’s website, though I’ve not read much from there yet, but will do so subsequently.

I thought of writing to you because you are indeed an inspiration. When one takes a move to “Make their mess a message” and their “Test a testimony”, it’s an eye opener for others who have faced such similar situations and have withdrawn from the society to stand tall and rather help others with their past experiences. I was moved by the sincere stories in your memoir-book, that I had to give others to read too.

Please continue writing, blogging and speaking too. I believe that just like it did for me, the book will be an inspiration for others too, and a guide book to watch the things they do in life.

And oh, Gabby’s story was so sad, pitiful and… I don’t know how to describe it. The story made me cry, most especially because of the negligence given to epileptics. It was a good initiative creating a memorial foundation to take care of epileptic and mental patients. Please permit me say as a youth, I work with a little initiative called Child Enrichment As Future Leaders with the vision of empowering children, youths and the underprivileged. In our own little way, we can always support the foundation’s efforts and partner in carrying out activities.

A little about me-My name is Che Herbert Ambesi, a Level 300 student in the University of Buea reading Accounting. I love reading inspirational books, novels, plays and Christian literature, and I write a little too. Particularly concerned about the needs of youths and the civil society, I blog about success on (Ambe’s Diary), and work with Child Enrichment As Future Leaders (CEAFL), a start up which was initiated by a female friend and class mate of mine two years ago, to see how we can in our own little way contribute to the society (I currently serve as President).

Madam, you are my role model. Keep inspiring!

Happy New Year in arrears,



P.s: Kindly if you can, visit his blog and show some encouragement. He has like half a dozen posts and few comments too lol. He is full of potential and at this rate he’ll sure be up to all he sets out to do. I have replied and I think he is yet to get to his emails because internet especially in that region is a luxury. Hence am all the more delighted to read his email.

Happy Tuesday everybody

No longer playing pretend



If at 3 I knew no better than play pretend

By 9 I knew fully well I played pretend

But put 3 and 9 together

At 39 I definitely can’t continue

Playing pretend like I don’t know

It’s now far past my age and circumstance

I mean if I keep playing pretend now

Can you imagine if 93 meets me here

What a rigmarole and sheer ridicule

like I learnt nothing from life all along

Nope I now know better

for my sanity and hollistic wellbeing

I need to stop any play or semblance of

Say it as it is, do it as I say, love it as it comes

learn and love and live full cycle

Playing Pretend was just a game

I can’t turn that into reality

That will mean wearing a smile and towing the line

The unconventional in me cries fowl

Hence am no longer playing pretend

The awesome birthday gift my body gave to me…ever so grateful

Yesterday was my birthday and I have had a worrisome RA flare since Tuesday which left me bed grounded. I negotiated with my body that we even up and around a bit on my birthday. I managed to do a 15 mins mild workout to thank the universe for my mind and body, and then made breakfast and lunch before going into town for some groceries. After school, the boys and I went to the Fun Center as had been planned since Sept 2017, so they could play bowling and other games. We shared a large Pizza and some water for the occasion, and we all returned home happy and grateful.

Am still in bed today, though I was once more able to make breakfast and a prepare a quick rice lunch for the boys. I am so so grateful to my body for this invaluable gift, and for all the goodwill messages. One of the meditation books I use talked of being grateful for our bodies. I always have been since my awakening in 2010. Take care of your bodies dear all, have a soul relationship with them, that way you can listen and talk to each other with love. Any pain at that time is a lesson to be treasured.

Happy weekend all, just wanted to share this before having a nap. Looking forward to more restored health

 9 soul wishes I have on my 39th Birthday are…

More than any birthday wishes or gifts; reading and reflecting on this post will bring me such joy and appreciation for your time

  1. That my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) be as visible as my RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis);
  2. That when my head spins like a carousel making it hard to think and act normal, it attracts as much sympathy and why not empathy, just like when my joints ache and my knee cap swells making it hard to walk;
  3. That when the inflammations from the RA make me writhe in pain and am more nervous, agitated and weird, it be just understood as the natural consequence of the physical pain without any allusion to my PTSD;
  4. That when I need to rest or stay away and just be alone doing my thing,  even if I should normally be functional and ‘acting normal’, it will not be construed as having an attitude;
  5. That whether on any meds or not, that should not determine/grossly affect my state of health, wellbeing nor feeling of belonging;
  6. That my sons grow to not distinguish between my conditions but get it that I need to rest and recuperate either condition;
  7. That my sons shun from stigmatizing anyone be it in our extended family or not, who may be struggling with any condition be it physical or mental;
  8. That any friends am making henceforth know like the few I still have that I have both a physical and mental illness, that am not defined by any of them, but that I don’t tolerate any stigma of my person nor of any person living with either illness or health conditions;
  9. That I always remember to be grateful for all I have lived and currently live, and especially that I didn’t commit suicide as attempted February 2009 when I thought that was the best solution to my then miserable existence…

  I have but 9 wishes, because the other 30 slot years of my life have oh been so graciously filled with so much to be grateful for… It is only getting better and I thank my angels and Guardian Angel for my family and my dear ‘e-family’ from whom I have learned so much and with whom I share so much.

P.s: The irony this year is, I wrote this post on Monday 15th and had an RA flareup on Tuesday 16th and was bed grounded on Wednesday 17th January. The get well soon messages on different mediums made me reflect if I had blogged about suffering a mental meltdown.

Anyways; Here is a recap of some of  my previous birthday posts since the great redemption. I was born on a Thursday too so it feels special special lol 

2015 Year of Redemption;

2016 Year of Love (was sick and on a 3 weeks blogging break-although I got a surprise birthday cake from the host of a TV Show I was guest on – that was so touching) 37th-birthday ;

2017 year of Gratitude

My birthday Vlog of that very painful 2014 (When I lost my only brother Gabriel and near lost all my mind) still holds today. Hope the message resonates

The last time I had an RA crisis this tough was in Belgium: Grateful mindful of the pain

Dear all, am in bed and dreading movement other than the barest minimum. Will be taking an anti-inflammatory to supplement the natural therapy am on (been taking ginger, garlic, turmeric, lemon and honey in warm water). Also have a cold and maybe all that mix and stress of last few weeks just made my articulations cry fowl – I think Calcium supplements will help especially with the all the acidity am getting from the lemon and ginger.

The last time any crisis this tough or even tougher, was in Belgium 2014. I even had to go for physiotherapy.

Yesterday I did go to work but by 4pm started feeling like I was in a real ‘shith…’. I called my Guardian Angel to the rescue because I couldn’t even walk, see well, even speech which was returning good started to dwindle again, with clogged nostrils poor me.

Am grateful for my boys. David the second came and picked up from the road and helped me limp home (a painful distance of say 10 mins from the main road, down hill – so we braved this in 20 mins with 3 breaks for air). Alain the first massaged my knee caps and legs, Gaby the last slept with me to be the Arch Angel he is.

So here we go again, on the eve of my birthday, Rheumatoid Arthritis sends a present. I wouldn’t reject, I will embrace the day home and note lessons from the pain. My mind also needs the rest definitely.

Thank you all – still grateful I can type