Posted in Coaching and Therapy, Marie's Garden, Mental Health Advocacy, Poetry

Please let me be (Ushering in the New Year with a call for inclusion and empathy )

Please let me be

for the world

Please let me be queer

let me be queer it’s my life

be all the regular I don’t care

Please let me be a misfit

I am done trying to fit

You can do all the fit in I don’t care

I come from a broken home

I now lead a broken home

keep your fixed home

He cries mama

she teased my papa is gay

And so what I ask?

gay means happy

why be any judge?

and then go to church?

sing unconditional love

and love so conditionally?

They call me a rascal because I love pascal

he is such a friend

we trust each other so

sinners you say?

who did HE come for?

Winners they who followed HIM

Shabby may be the dress code

merry the constant mode

you can care for your body

I’ll care for my mind

I envy you not

spare your nod

Please let me be

(c) 2017 Marie Abanga


Marie Angele Abanga (simplified to Marie Abanga) aka MAG likes to describe herself as a “Jacqueline of several trades”. She is an everyday woman and mother with a zigzag profile. Let’s give it a try! She is an Activist, an Author, a Coach, a Consultant, a Feminist, a Lawyer, a Lecturer, a Prince 2 Project Manager, a Psychotherapist, a Philanthropist, a minister of the Word of God and...! She just loves to sum it up by saying she is a person of passions and a tale of talents. Her life’s journey has filled over 6 books already and her three musketeers keep her busy at home. MAG is also the founder and CEO of the association Hope for the Abused and Battered, and the Country Director of the Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation for Epilepsy & Mental wellbeing. The plethora of life's experiences and shenanigans she has lived through and learned from in near 4 decades of existence, have equipped her with such an arsenal to coach, train and motivate just any and everyone. She is so charismatic, dynamic and full of life, going by her designed mantra of 3Ds: Determination; Discipline and Dedication. These sum her+her quest to be the best version of herself and impact others perfectly. She attributes all her wealth of knowledge to her conscientious attendance of both informal and formal school.

16 thoughts on “Please let me be (Ushering in the New Year with a call for inclusion and empathy )

    1. Dear Linda, this means so much to me. I wish we had met when I visited with Pammy. But then, we meet online every now and then and I was just as happy talking with you on phone. I hope you and yours are mindful of the weather

  1. Acceptance…..much less important to receive than to offer others.
    As we become satisfied with our own existence we begin to care less how others view us. This removes an emotional weight many carry through life. Find contentment with who you are and enjoy the life you so deserve.

    1. Oh doc, you know someone thought I was writing about me and didn’t find it funny? Some are at definitely different stages in life but I just wish us all well whatever our choices are. Thank you

  2. I wish we had been able to meet in person, too. But you are right, meeting online is the next best thing, and our talk on the phone was lovely.

    Thirty years ago, after my heart had been broken too many times by abusive, cheating men, I decided that perhaps I was meant to be gay. I had several friends who were gay. However, I did not go beyond thinking about it, perhaps because my mother was the worst abuser in my life. After having been verbally, physically, and even sexually abused by both men and women, I knew that changing my sexual preference was not necessarily the answer to my relationship problems!

    I eventually realized that I needed to break my pattern of getting involved with abusive, malignant, narcissistic personality types. For me, this was the way to end my pattern of getting involved with abusive men. A good therapist helped me see that I was naturally attracted to selfish, abusive people, because both of my parents were selfish and abusive. My parents had taught me from my earliest childhood that abuse meant love. Abusive people seemed familiar and normal to me. Even though I hated the abuse, being mistreated felt like “home” — a very painful home!

    Thanks to finding a good therapist, and after reading a lot of good self help books — especially Robin Norwood’s book, Women Who Love Too Much — today I am happily married to a man I consider my best friend. We have been married since July 2004. I love him, he loves me, and we are both kind, caring, and empathetic to each other, every day. Our marriage is not perfect, of course, but close!

    My husband has a son who is a gay crossdresser. We love him and we do not judge him. We pray for him to find God’s will for his life, which is our daily prayer for all of our children and grandchildren.

    Yes, we know the Bible says that same sex relationships are against God’s will. On March 13, 2003 — a few weeks before my fiftieth birthday — I gave my heart and my life to Jesus Christ. I asked him to forgive my many sins and to help me, guide me, and strengthen me every day, so that I will not sin anymore. I am still not perfect by any means, but when I sin in thought, word, or deed, I repent right away and ask God’s forgiveness and help not to sin, and I know I am forgiven.

    According to the words of Jesus in the new testament, the most important of all God’s commandments is LOVE: to love our creator God first, and to love others as we love ourselves. Hate and fear have no place in love.

    There are many parts of the Bible that I love. Many wonderful inspiring verses. But there are some parts of the Bible that seem crazy to me, things like God telling his people to commit genocide, and verses in the old testament commanding parents to stone their son to death if he curses them, and verses that command people to stone a woman to death if she commits adultery.

    My son cursed me when he was 12 years old. If I had stoned him to death, I would be the worst kind of murderer! Also, I committed adultery years ago, after my then-husband beat me so badly that I almost died, simply because I was half an hour late coming home from work! Soon after that, I found comfort in another man’s arms. Two wrongs do not make a right, but even so, stoning me to death for the sin I committed under extreme duress, would be very evil!

    So — what do I, as a born-again Christian, do with these troublesome Bible verses? I look to Christ my Lord and Savior as my example.

    This is what Jesus the Messiah said, when a woman was caught in adultery and the people were going to stone her to death. Jesus said that only the person who has never committed any sin could cast the first stone. The people all dropped their stones on the ground and left, because all of them had sinned. Then Jesus told the woman: “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and sin no more.”

    Christ set the example for us, a life of sacrificial love, grace, and mercy. His way inspires me to live a holy life, with the help of his Holy Spirit within me.

    I cannot judge you or condemn you, Marie. I can only judge the beam in my own eye. Your life is yours, not mine, to judge, and to live as you see fit. What you do in your private life is between you, the other adult person, and your creator. Like I said, I understand completely why you are making this choice, because when I was approximately your age, I thought a lot about it, and I almost had an affair with a woman friend. So I cannot judge you, because I am very much like you. I also cannot judge you on the basis of the Bible, because the Bible has been translated and interpreted over and over again, through thousands of years, by many different fallible human beings. I do not worship the Bible. I worship my Creator God the Father, and his son, Jesus the Messiah, and the Holy Spirit, the three-in-one God Trinity.

    If I am wrong in my beliefs, or in the way I interpret the Bible, I trust in the grace of God to cover my wrong thinking. I pray daily for the Lord to show me where I may be wrong and to lead me in his truth.

    My prayer for you, Marie, is that you will find the path that our loving Creator wants you to take. I do not know what your path is, but I believe God does know, and I trust that God will reveal your path to you, if you sincerely ask him to.

    Meanwhile, regardless of your path, you are my friend, you are a woman I admire, and I love you.

    1. Oh oh dear Linda you took my poem so literally. Am not an LGBT but I advocate for every marginalized group and felt inspired to write openely quoting them. I have never taken the bible too seriously, concentrating rather on the love commandment and cardinal rule of do onto others… Or the other way round. I appreciate your comment anyway and hope you feel better now with all the choices you made and still make in life. I refered to my Guardian Angel as a She for personification and even provocation what do I know. Bit am so happy

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