What do you want? This may sometimes proceed from what you don’t want

It’s a sign of maturity for me to know what I want and what I don’t want

I remember when as a hyper active kid ( I guess I could very well qualify for what will be categorized and drugged today as an ADHD kid), my exasperated mother will exclaim: You this child what do you want? Several years have passed and I am 39 years today and recently got a satisfactory answer for this question.

You see, the answer didn’t just pop up like that, I was reflecting on my life and all the the things I have been doing and what I like most about the woman of faith and conviction I am becoming. I then stopped just this past March around the 26th, and I asked myself what I didn’t want to be made of it all.  The way the question popped up actually took me aback. Why should I bother what is made of my life by someone but me? But the reality is that once a public person, regardless of the category, quality or renown, your life is subject to all sorts of interpretation and conclusions.


It may thus indeed be a very apt time to define my life specifically by what I don’t want – hence end up with what I want.

I don’t want to be accepted!!! I want to be respected!!!

There you go and that is what I got from deep within. And I turned this over, meditated and contemplated, and then came to the conclusion that was it. I didn’t write the prayer/bible verse inviting us not to conform ourselves to the standards of this world… (easy thing to do or not is not the subject of this post), but I have always love that prayer and consoled myself with that when told I was unconventional – this has come to stick as I adopted and embraced same and go by that among other tags.

And seriously, if am I not accepted or respected, I don’t care, what matters to me is self-acceptance and self-respect. It is the person’s business if they want to take me or treat/relate with me any way – all I can control is my attitude to their actions or reactions, and I have chosen to go an extra mile by stating clearly what I want/what I don’t want.

Now, is this daring? Is this dashing? Is this doable? I don’t know, I just share some of my musings to inspire and motivate, and why not to simplify myself further



7 thoughts on “What do you want? This may sometimes proceed from what you don’t want”

  1. “Your happiness does not depend on others…” absolutely! Too many people expect others to make them happy or suspect others of making them unhappy, and blame them (or circumstances) when they feel one
    way or the other. But to know that happiness comes from within, and a great deal of everything else including mental health and as you said, respect and acceptance, is the beginning of wisdom. Also, I think what William Blake wrote in his poem, Auguries of Innocence, is true as well:
    To see a World in a Grain of Sand
    And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
    Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
    And Eternity in an hour…

    Isn’t that what happiness and being present and “in the now” all about? The past is really just our imaginations conjuring up what is gone, and the future our imaginations doing the same to what may never happen? I truly believe that happiness is an attitude and it shows acceptance of the present moment as all we have, and all that can matter, since any imagined future may never come and the past (in my view at any rate) is nothing but our personal interpretation of events…which is no one else’s but our own.

    Like you I do not want to be accepted, I want acceptance from me, or life and circumstances and the world. And if respect is important, all that matters in the end is that we have self-respect, because no one can give you that which you deny for yourself from yourself.

    I loved this post. It made me ponder!

    Love and blessings,


    1. Pammie dearest, I love that poem oh my. I mean seeing Heaven everywhere, finding the thrill in everything even what seems to ‘irk’ at the moment. The past and future, I had blogged about those when I qualified them as painful and fearful and not worth my energy pondering on. Now, I said what I want meaning it is definitely not a Need. I may never get those from anybody but that’s fine; but for anyone wishing to interact with me in anyway, that or Nada. I accept and respect myself sufficiently enough to merry and cheery around and in all circumstances. I am so grateful for this awakening and awareness. Thanks so much for sharing your million cents

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