Let me go bury My MC and then look forward to a vacation…


My MC‘s burial is this weekend, wake keep tonight and burial 30th – I am probably going to be there by the time this scheduled post goes up. It’s gonna be a brief one…

I will take a break from blogging for 2 weeks hopefully from July 9-23 , to rest and recuperate (ain’t ever easy I know) and next week is flamed up starting actually on Thursday July 5th with Barakah’s event before I move on to Yaounde for the Leading Ladies Conference.

It was barely 1 month ago that I went by night trip to MC their village to visit my dad… The real relationship being that dad an orphan had been adopted by this Angel when he was just 11/12 in a city he knew no one in and was yet to learn French. It had been 2 decades I hadn’t been there because Grand pere (MC’s dad) died in 2009 when I just had Gaby… In short, all these make for at least two more posts…

For now, see you hopefully next month for a couple of days lol

It’s been one half of a year indeed – hmm, let me just bury My MC and see how it goes with the mini break and co

Have a great weekend everyone and till then – one love – do take care of yourselves and take a break when you have to, cause life can be tough and roller coaster…

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Barakah Barakah my heroine and the Prisoner’s Night…


I have truly and remarkably been blessed beyond measure to meet wonderful people in my life. There sure is something about me or better still the spirit which attracts all these amazing people to my modest self – or takes me to them fearlessly. I met Barakah Barakah precisely on the 18th of January 2016 (my 36th birthday). We were both invitees on a show and although I was so low that day, Barakah and the host did it – Barakah especially with her zeal and all brought my spirits back up…thank you my dearest Barakah Barakah especially with that surprise birthday cake lol

37th-birthday

How can I not celebrate this special Barakah Barakah …she is another one – we say out here she is too much. Look, me thinks BB as I fondly call her, is connected to super natural energy. She is a …what do I say and what do I leave out? Ok for the sake of this post, she is an artist. When am in the office or even at home and I just want to sing for Jesus, I put one of BB’s tapes with my favourite being Back to Jesus. See some of her CD covers for yourselves oh…indeed Mama BB is Addicted to Worship lol

She has no complex whatsoever, so down to earth and full of admiration for everyone she meets. Let me just share more of my picture collection of BB

I have worked in the prison for 3 years and I know what a world that is. So many lost ones in there and oh so much pain and suffering and despair. One of BB’s passions is to visit them as many prisons as she can, singing and ministering to them and dancing with them in ways only she can. When BB shows up, even the ever tense prison administration relax. See some of her stuffs out there…

So on Thursday the 5th of July, I’ll be honouring BB’s invitation to her mega CD launch of: ‘the Reason I live’ and the viewing of the documentary she made of her exploits in the prisons.

I wish I had more time to raise funds for this wonderful woman. But I know she will never lack as long as she is doing it all for Jesus.

BB's documentary

‘Le chemin de l’espoir’ in english means the Path of Hope. Indeed, hope is what keeps many an inmate holding on, not ending it all in there, not giving in to the pressure to join a gang or go awol and all the vices you can imagine thrive in there.

I wish BB so so much and hope she gets the prize for which she has been nominated in Atlanta come September this year.

BB, you are my heroine and I’ll always appreciate you for the joy you bring to my heart, my ears and to all who know you especially those behind bars.

Have a fabulous midweek everybody

p.s: let me leave you with this shout out to BB from one of her million fans out here:

Thank you Lord Jesus for this missionary corridor. I pray for the increasement of the grace required to fulfil this commission. Be strong and of a good courage dear sister Barakah Barakah for the Lords of Hosts is with you. Love you dear mummy

Let’s talk about breakups shall we???


How do I look in that picture at first glance? Anyway, that was a couple of hours to yet another heartbreaking breakup. I have had one too many in my life and to be candid, I have instigated 99.97% of them.

Why am I even writing this post and washing such linen in public? Well, because as a psychologist and CBT Therapist, I have worked with many who have been through very tough times before and after a breakup.

It is one of those taboo topics marred with the ego’s looming shame, guilt and suck for revenge. Needless saying what some have or will do to supposedly get even after a breakup.

So, how do I feel especially after once again instigating a breakup? I feel like a pity party wouldn’t even do me justice. And yet, it takes commensurate courage to instigate a breakup and do it civil like you guys were having any other conversation. This breakup ha, I prayed for the how to go about it for an entire month. I know others who will just walk away, change numbers or just spit it out and fume it all downing same with whatever can numb the hurt and feelings.

To add salt to injury, it’s not like there is any prospect or plan moving on. Nope, am letting my spirit flow even if right now I can shrink if spoken to by a man.

Let me be raw here, this is my life’s purpose. This is also a better healing mechanism for me than tears and trash. Indeed, an RA mini flare up couldn’t be avoided and I was literally carried back home and massaged.

It still hurts today and am pampering myself some. I believe in the adage ‘Therapist heal thyself’, and writing is one of those healing balms.

I once murmured to a friend that it sometimes was tough being the ‘Go to Person’, because you could as well end up not having your own ‘Go to Person’. My God and my soul are my own ‘Go tos’ and am not doubting them.

And so, to you who can identify with this post in any and either way, know you are not alone. Tough times never last but tough people do.

I hate breakups and if there was a vaccine against them or some magic pill to counter their side effects, I would have gone for those.

But helas, damage control is what I focus on, learning lessons, counting blessings, seeing prospects, not burning bridges are what I look out and forward to. My mental health being of primordial here.

I chose peace over conflict and think I have finally won over my ex husband. The same yesterday, he and I had a very peaceful and dare I say respectful discussion, and for all these milestones I am very grateful.

Any thoughts about breakups to share in the comments anyone?

Be inspired and motivated everyone …

Leading Ladies like myself will be attending this groundbreaking conference…


 

Since I returned to my country in August 2015, I haven’t attended any conferences. Workshops or small gatherings yes, I even tried organizing some under the platform I launched called Inspiring Positive Actions Now, but it didn’t quiet take off. My dream on my return was to actually organize a mega conference for women dubbed “Women walking with stubborn but passionate faith”, I had started putting together a team and then all sorts of challenges came in and I prayed and let it go.

It can then be easily understood why I am so excited to attend this conference which I aptly qualify as ground breaking in this country especially in such difficult times we as individuals and the entire nation are facing. I think ladies above all will have to step in the gap to lead themselves and the country as a whole, through all the unrest we are going through, be it spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, socio-cultural… you name them…

I mean, just read their vision:

The vision of this conference is to bring together 500+ women leaders and those involved in leadership in order to encourage, nurture and strengthen leadership abilities by engaging them through capacity building workshops, teaching, motivation and panel discussions on issues that affect women and their leadership in the society. The ultimate goal is to see these conference attendees empowered to carry out their God-given assignments in the home, workplace and world.

And yes, I went to school with some of the ladies profiled as authors, speakers or organizers, so it’ll be so much touching soul base for me. The Lord is really good all the time. If I cannot accomplish something and a sister or brother can, trust me I’ll join them and cheer them on and make some real noise and impact. I wish I could bring someone else, but you know in matters of the soul, your soul must be stirred from within and nothing else. All else will be glam which will backfire in the long run big time.

The conference is put together by an organization called Lead Mission International and their programme shows they’ll be organizing similar stuffs in Burundi too. Isn’t this simply awesome? This is the first of such conferences they’ll be organizing in Cameroon, and although I have a feeling nothing will be easy for the organizers especially with meeting set targets, I hope they brave through it all, counting on no other Grace but the most Amazing one provided by the almighty God and Father Himself. I can’t wait to meet the organizers in person and see what lies ahead in terms of collaboration, learning, sharing and more.

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I plan to get a copy of the book because I can see my story in there though not included lol. I will be meeting the editor myself and as an author, I am super excited. Who knows if he’ll take on my next publication? That project from every indication has a course I don’t master because each time I try telling my spirit I want to let it out now, am reminded patience is a virtue.

All in all dear all, I already feel it in me it wouldn’t be an idle weekend. I have a very soulful event on the eve of the conference in Douala and I blog on that in two days, then I leave the very next morning for Yaounde where the conference takes place, and will return to Douala on Sunday by God’s Grace. I am bundling all of this into a Me Moment because on my return, I may be alone at home (guys should hopefully be gone on vacation), but I have to resume psychology studies and writing my draft for next year. Any leading lady in Cameroon wants to attend, please call any of the numbers on the flyer and pay a sum you wouldn’t regret spending on your personal growth because YES – YOU DESERVE IT

Have a great week everyone

Play therapy with Mati my mini me and Heroine


Hello world, another Sunday (scheduled for Sunday lol but guess I got it wrong along the line) is here and I have a soulful yummy post to share. It’s all about playing with my mini me and heroine Mati.

Mati is 7 and we met when I went to work with another client. It was love at first sight and indeed she had to be called away so we could work this client and I. Before I met the client I came for, Mati had hugged me, asked after the things I had on my ears, and kinds of questions you can imagine of my mini me. She then realized she hadn’t introduced herself and so talked about herself, her school and sure her hobbies.

It’s been two months now and though original client is no longer on, Mati who had pressed for a game has stayed on. We meet twice a week for max 1hr lol, and we play whichever game she wants and she directs the conversation.

I remember being as alive as Mati at 7. I could talk and ask questions oh boy. I loved playing too and warmed up easily to most people unless something about you smelled not so good. I hear Mati is rather selective with people but hurray, the stars were with me lol

Mati is a last child and almost alone in her generation in her home. She sadly lost her mom couple years back. She is however a cherry chap and introduced me to her puppy Ange last Thursday. Now, Ange is my middle name, how glee should I be?

Seriously, my sessions with Mati could as well be for myself. She has taught me so much and reminds me of so much. They are the highlight of my day and I look so forward to our next sessions. It’s like healing and nurturing my inner child plus Mati all in one. It is of course undivided attention to us for the entire session and even the phones and all are kept far away in the bag and on vibration/silent if possible. Any mountain on fire at that time could perharps just burn down?

The game pictured above, which seems to be her favourite, is called Personages. The other party describes their personage and you give the right name. You can guess who loses big time. Mati even gave me a consolation point last game lol. She also beats me hands down at connect which is a game to line up 4 of your seeds in a same direction in some cage.

She is the teacher and I can only learn. I am just so happy for the honour to play with my mini me and heroine Mati. She wanted our next session to be this Saturday, but I was at friend’s brother burial. We thus have a rendezvous for Tuesday, and only the way Mati says rendezvous will melt you heart.

Indeed, being as little children is one surest way to inner peace and bliss: and for reminding me this; Mati will always be my heroine!!!

Have you ever slept with your childhood photo under your pillow? My experience…


MM the Jittery pupil.jpg

Happy Saturday world,

Am emotional week wrap up right? So, a hopefully brief post to inspire and motivate us to go for it, whatever it takes to heal and nurture our inner child.

Soul Signature

During my 70 days spiritual journey, one of the books I studied (you don’t read such books I swear) was by Panache Desai called 33 days of Discovering Your Soul Signature. On one of those days, you have morning and evening study guides now; he encouraged/challenged the ‘student’ to take down their childhood picture from where it is tucked, look that picture square in the face and seek bonding and healing. That picture of mine I have labelled MM the Jittery pupil and one indeed I was at that age.
I thought some about bringing it down from just above my bed, thinking what the heck I can just stand up chat with you and sleep. But no, spirit nagged and I brought MM jittery pupil down and said ok it’s my bed time so let’s just sleep – under the pillow I tucked her.

Guess how many times I got up sweating that night? 3 good times. And how long I slept? 5 hours instead of usual 7. What was up? Jittery had much jittering to do and directly from beneath the pillow into my brain poor (or rather lucky now) me.

Long story short since I promised a brief post, we reviewed so much from that era in different stages of sleep and bonding, and guess what happened in the am? The photo I had been trying to no avail to rip open (the plastification I had had done, was now ruining it and I wanted to take that out); just opened up some and it can now be salvaged. See below

And so world, go ahead and sleep with your childhood photo under your pillows and let’s see how it goes – for me it was simply put THERAPEUTIC

Enjoy your Saturday everyone, I have one jittery week ahead lol

p.s: I just look up the word jittery and it is: “Nervous, unable to relax” Gosh where did I take that to label my picture? No doubt that night was jittery – really the thoughts we think, words we speak or use, hmm they do come around oh

So grateful to receive the Mystery Blogger Award once more with Gusto


The Mystery Blogger Award 1

Talking about gifts world, I recall already getting this award last year for my birthday, but men when a wonderful guy nominates you for an award and you are top on his list, you could feed 5t’ little lousy ego of yours some right?

So, for your generosity and sincerity in nominating modest me once more for this highly coveted award, I want to heartily thank my inspirational blogger pall Mr G over at Gratitude4Gratitude.

What is the Mystery Blogger Award?

“Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion.

– Okoto Enigma

Rules:

1 – Thank whoever nominated you and include link to their blog: Done

2 – Tell your readers three things about yourself: Done

3 – Nominate 10-20 bloggers you feel deserve the award: Sorry but I pass

4 – Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog: Sorry but I pass

5 – Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice with one weird or funny one: Sorry but I pass

Three Things You Should Know About Me: Shamefully copied from last year lol but still valid tbt

  1. I decided in May 2011 to speak my truth henceforth regardless of the price – so far so good though it sure costs a lot sometimes;
  2. My boys and my cat keep me going above all else – I hardly can hold down any anger in their presence;
  3. I am a hopeless passionate and romantic girl, sometimes I just don’t wanna get too close to any situation which may warrant my being me

5 questions from G

1 – Was there a turning point in your life? If so when?

Yes there was: Super turning point in my life was when I failed miserably in my attempt to commit suicide back in 2008. I knew there was going to be a way out even if I could not see that way yet.

2 – What’s the most important lesson you’ve learnt?

That the Will of God cannot take me where the Grace of God cannot keep me; that as long as am here, I’ve got to keep living trying my best and inspiring others along the way.

3 – What are you grateful for today?
Today, I am grateful for my breath

4 – Where are you right this second?

I am sleeping, this is a scheduled post so it goes live while I snore – gives me the thrill hahaha

5 – What’s the strangest thing you enjoy?

I enjoy snake meat although I can only recall eating it once when my dad gave me some. To me, it was better than chicken and that is something.

p.s: So dear G, there you go. I am grateful you thought of this old gal. I try my best to do these award acceptance posts in appreciation for the effort taken in nominating me and putting the questions together. Answering them also serve as a review of my life’s troops lol – and who knows what new thing may be in the dark wardrobe hahaha

Enjoy your weekend everyone o

Grateful for the Gift of Listening through Fire


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Am so grateful for just so so much

Fire polishes gold, and that is how fire warmed my ears up and kept them tuned for 40 good minutes. I then knew I had received the entirety of the gift of listening that day.

It was on the eve of stage one of my spiritual journey and I already had near everything covered. I was already in the no anger and all serene strive mode so help me God.

I received a phone call from someone who had an issue with my apparent waywardness and non clarity plus ‘so called spiritual journey to start’. And they spoke, and spoke, and spoke… initially I was getting angry and my ego was cheering me on to fire back; and then I thought to myself nah don’t give them that pleasure. You need all your energy for the journey you are about to embark. Secondly, girl don’t you know listening is a virtue? How are you going to be a great coach and therapist if you can’t listen all through?

And thus I listened, and listened, and yawned, then listened some more. I was asked if I was still there, and I said yes I was listening. I knew the time because I had just come in from the market and taken my phone out of my purse when the phone came in. After 40 mins, I needed to change ear sides and looked at the phone while switching sides. I took note of the time and praised my lord for seeing me through. The tone was now no longer monologue but dialogue. I didn’t have much to say but sincerely appreciated aloud the opportunity to obtain that precious gift in its entirety when least expected.

My Son who passed by every now and then, congratulated me at the end. I shared with him the lesson and that all glory was to God.

And so dear and gentle readers and followers, sometimes in life, the best gifts come in trying circumstances and we could miss them if we restrained ourselves not. Many clients today tell me I listen to them so much they wonder if they were really making that much sense to captivate me. I smile, don’t bother them with my story, but tell them I wish to listen to them to the end before we start talking or working.

Do you have any experience of receiving a precious gift in the heat of life? Be inspired and motivated

Happy midweek everyone

 

Because I have hit rock bottom I can…


 

Because I have hit rock bottom, I can work with those who have

Because I have been abused, I can work with those who have

Because I have been traumatized, I can work with those who have

Because I have known pain, I can work with those who have

Because I have known loss and grief, I can work with those who have

Because I have loved and hurt and cried, I can work with those who have

Because I have made poor choices in life, I can work with those who have

Because I have tried and tried and keep trying, I can work with those who have

Nothing ain’t easy, but it is so worth it to reach out

To try just one more time, to hope the next call will be it

There is help out there, though mingled in such grime

Marred by stigma, taboo and shame

But we can meet, sometimes by fate and faith

Someone who truly understands, and is willing to help us out

It sure takes patience, empathy and dare I say love

But it is possible, because: I hit rock bottom and bounced back!!!

P.S I chose purple because it signifies hope to me

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect

A day in the life of a supermom


P. S: Am writing this post to calm down some while waiting for the party scheduled for 4 pm to actually start. It is 6.20 pm my time and I have given up on this ‘black man time’. Anyways, it’s not even like I remembered the birthday party until I visited another supermom and bossom friend of mine… As to my new name, I upgraded myself to supermomhood period…

OK now hold up, how did I get here?

My day started at 4:50 am with prayers+meditation. I then hit some workout, grateful for an extra kilo since I finished fasting weighing 70kgs.

So truth be told, I was in celebration mode and even wrote about it earlier this morning.

Another super note this morning is the joy of speaking to a kindred spirit super dad for 30/40minutes after my workout.

I then went to the market, not knowing the boys were to receive their report cards today. I never got the sms the school said they always send. Fortunately, their school is not far from the market and curious to all the cars parked out there, got me to know it was today.

So supermom, rush back home, fix quick lunch of stir fry cabbage and then hop out to their school. I have to rush back home because I have a 3pm session. I get home 2.30 pm, and gladly give the boys cash to go swimming…they all made honour roll so grateful to God…

I then have a much more consistent lunch after the session lol, and head out to go see my friend whose daughter has been sick all week. My plan was to continue from there to my aunt’s where we assembly for my cousin’s vigil while awaiting the corpse. But when reminded of the 40k bash of another schoolmate of ours to which I had been invited personally, I quickly rush home to change in white the designed colour for the event. I stop by the barber for a hair cut and then shower and out hurrah.

I mean, the last time I was out with friends was another one’s 40k birthday on February 28, eve of fasting take off, so you can imagine my excitement Hahaha…

Tomorrow is another day, I will go to my aunt’s then; afterall, the corpse get here but on the 24th and I have been there some already.

OK now, if you think events can delay starting, try one of ours out here. It is currently 7.03 pm and only a handful of invitees lol…

Now y’all, enjoy your weekend. I will hang around 1.5/2 hours and then go home to call it a night after a super day spent superbly.

p. s: Party finally kick of by 7.59pm and guess who is called to lead prayers? Guess how long her prayer is? Guess who leads to the buffet? Guess how much she piles on her plate lol? Welcome another half kg hopefully.

All is well that ends well for I zoom it all and get home at 9.03 pm. Boys I meet up pray with me and am off to zzz. Thank you papa.