We will get there, let’s Go … God has been soGood…a￼ year of Grace indeed it has been Amen
We will get there, let’s Go … God has been soGood…a￼ year of Grace indeed it has been Amen
My dad was recently in our home for 10 days and on his last day he gave me money to go and buy a clock. He had noticed we didn’t have one although there was a nail that looked like one hung there previously – indeed we had one which had accidentally gone down when someone pulled the curtain without paying attention. When I tried to talk him out of it, he insisted the memories will remain forever and that’s what mattered to him.
He had equally been trying his best to ‘spoil’ the boys and I was almost getting on my nerves too lol. I now get it, it’s not every other month he sees them. Indeed, this is the first Christmas ever we are all spending together; and the second vacation they are spending together in 12 years (my second son is 12 and so you can guess they had never spent any time together – he only saw my son as a baby, and had never met the 9 years old oh Lord).
So, I got the clock and will move it some other place and further up. I will cherish that memory too.
That’s equally how, my friend in Brussels decided to immortalize my passage in his life by paying for a car plate with the initials of the special name I called him. I called him my super super hero aka SSH. He did that in 2016 but I am just sharing it now because the memories came back as I thought of Dad.
And so dear all, I wish to inspire+motivate us all to think about the memories we are making and leaving in each other’s life.
Happy New year in advance
Are you Husband Material? Reversing the Conventional probing was inspired by the awkward though conventional question some gentleman asked me in December 2016. He asked me if I was wife material because I was hesitating responding to his offer to marry me. It didn’t make sense to me that I should at my age and circumstance, still get asked such a question. I mean, if at 37 with three kids you could be asked even if you didn’t seem ‘desperate’ to be a wife, imagine how much younger ladies should be dealing with in their strive to be wives. In our conventional societies where it seems getting married is the highest of achievements especially for women, preparing yourself to be wife material is actually right next to being taught how to be a girl. Conventional society expects girls to play with dolls, learn to cook pretty quick, do as their mums do so that daddy or their brothers are not embarrassed, not to talk of a potential suitor. But what of the boys and men? Are they groomed to be husbands too? Do they ever get the flip question too? I had never heard of any until I decided to embark on this other literary project. It is with all candour, my best book so far. I mean, as a mother of all boys, what a pleasure for me to provide such a book which helps them groom themselves and check their intentions ‘well well’ if marriage is their choice. Indeed, I think men even have a bigger role to play in conventional society because they are the heads right? The current statistics on failed/failing/or non contracted marriages also warrants some real soul searching. I decided to take the path less traveled and focus on men, giving the plethora of literature available on women and their preparation/expectations/obligations and all in between in a marriage. I have no doubt this book will make a good read and generate lots of brainstorming.
Available in Cameroon at: https://www.arreybuy.com/product/are-you-husband-material-by-marie-abanga/
Available on the Amazon in Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L9ZNBVC
Kindly visit my author page for more on all my books: https://www.amazon.com/Marie-A.-Abanga/e/B00ILM7IJK
Imprint: Independently published
Hello Word Press world, I hope everyone is off to a magic filled start of a new week.
I want to share a personal experience which helped me find total healing from an abusive marriage. I left my marriage in 2011, and when I ran into my ex husband last week, the 5 minutes we shared made me realize my total healing was finally here.
I mean, I have been working and looking so forward to it, I am so happy it happened this month which is the last month of a year full of so much Grace for me.
Below is what I shared on Facebook on that day (14.12.18):
“I just ran into my ex-husband like after more than a year. The last time (01.09.17) we saw each other was at the police station where he had taken me to for breaking his door. I recall breaking the glass on that door with a stick so I could collect my sons ahead of their back to school on 03.09.17. He was called and he came with two cops. The kids and I went there with himself and we spent 4 hours in a cell – they refused to leave me alone or go with him. We were release after I signed a to never go near his house again. We got home at midnight that day, it was super traumatic especially for them. And since then they haven’t seen him either. They refused to go spend summer holidays with neither him nor their paternal grandma, and I refused to force them. He accused me of manipulation. That was a déjà entendu for me. He threatened to ‘disown’ them, and the last I told him during that very heated phone call was that he wasn’t our God. And so, running into him here at Gicam Bonanjo a year and plus later, was cool. Cool because I was happy to see him looking so good. He had some big nerves stuff last year and both his mum and wife called me alarmed and asking me to pray for him. That I did. I don’t have any grudge against him, no energy to hate or whatsoever. I just wish him so much well. I greeted him so warm and asked how he was feeling. I equally asked if he thought of the children and he said yes. He seemed to want to chit chat more but I didn’t want to. Anyways, I am sharing this to encourage especially my fellow sisters going through any such similar, to let all that be. I mean even if you prefer the saying “let sleeping dogs lie” use it and release (find it in you to deal+heal) all that ‘crap’. I just wish we had even taken a selfie hahahaha”
We each have our unique journeys, I just share mine to inspire+motivate by Amazing Grace.
In my country Cameroon, mental health and mental illness are still so much taboo.
As a passionate mental health advocate,a peer and now the Country Representative of the Global Mental Health Peer Network, I ceaselessly raise awareness as often as I can using any tools at my disposal.
I am honoured Ekema 39, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia 25 years ago, agreed to review my brother’s journey (diagnosed with bipolar disorder and died in 2014 after 18 years of turmoil). The similarities he points out in his own journey is striking.
I met Violet in September 2009 and in December 2009 she was dead. I had sent word to the village looking for a nanny and when Violet said she was available, I arranged for her to come very fast. Little did I know what I was signing up for. But here is the deal, I had already made a covenant with God that if he spared me of AIDS especially after the turbulent ‘sexually’ irresponsible life I had led so far and was again pregnant, I was never going to ‘reject’ any person on my path because of their status. That was in 2003 in the city of Yaounde inside a church after I had just given my blood to be tested for HIV at the CHU hospital. How could I therefore send Violet back a few hours after her arrival and following her revelation? I feel out with my husband and mother but I wasn’t going to fall out with God. My baby was 3 months old and I knew Violet wasn’t going to deliberately or accidentally harm my baby. We loved each other till the end. Her last words to me 3 days before dying however still tear me up on days like these: “mummy why have you abandoned me?”
She had returned to the village to spend that ‘last’ Christmas with her own daughter, leaving the hospital here on her signature because she felt her end was near after all.
The Following is a conversation I had this (this post was written (01.12.18) morning with my neice who lived with us back then: [01/12, 07:36] .Marie A. Abanga: Morning mama Ndolo [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: You remember Violet who lived with us for like 3 months to take care of Gaby? [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: If yes, did you know she had AIDS? [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: If yes, how did that make you feel especially as you guys slept in the same room? [01/12, 07:38] .Marie A. Abanga: Please I will like to share your answers in a live video am doing at 8 am to talk about her. Today is world AIDS Day. Thank you baby [01/12, 08:13] Malaika Moki Linonge: Hello mama [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: Sorry I am in the mkt [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: But it was a good experience [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: I was afraid that we could be contaminated, especially for the bb [01/12, 08:15] Malaika Moki Linonge: And also as I stayed with her at the hospital [01/12, 08:20] Malaika Moki Linonge: It was wonderful when we knew she had AIDS, we where surprised why u took her in and understood why u excepted her for some work at home [01/12, 08:20] .Marie A. Abanga: Thank you baby so much [01/12, 08:20] Malaika Moki Linonge: U are welcome mama
Anyone wanting to watch the live video I did could click the link below
#thankyouviolet #notostigma #knowyourstatus #liveyourtruth #safesex #Showsomeempathy
Although World Aids Day is come and gone, we are still in the month of December. I shared this on my Facebook on the day itself, along with a live video. I just thought to share this here again, to inspire+motivate us all.
My body+brain break last Nov 30th led me to hole up in a library with an awesome book titled: “A Woman after God’s Own Heart” by Elizabeth George.
I needed a brain+body break and yes, what I had been planning to do over two weeks ago, that’s spend an entire day in conclave at B4Kids library, reading a good book, was seemingly the ideal thing to do to relax this brain+body.
I was there as early as 8:15 am after an early start at home and some meh workout. I had slept visualizing this day.
And yes, it was simply relaxing and blissful. Like I was with God all day in a special place ie, next to His Heart found in this soulful but thought provoking and action challenging book.
He knew I needed to read this book, this day, and to be assured and reassured of He having my back as I kept on in His Vineyard after 3+decades of grooming just for that.
I mean you will need to read the book too to get a feel…that is if you are ready.
The book is divided into 4 parts worth the read and I mean every letter of each sentence… grateful for the reading maniac I seem to be lol
P1: The Pursuit of God. How do you pursue God with your Heart, your words, your actions, your obedience to His own Word?
P2: The Pursuit of God’s priorities. How do you discover them as laid out for your life, and serve God with your heart and all your love in whichever corner of his vineyard He’s assigned you to?
P3: The Practice of God’s priorities: Do you seek God’s Heart and Grace to do the work you got according to His own priority?
P4: In praise of God’s priorities. What’s your praise if you got all the above going? What’s your legacy, and soul and commitment to keep being after God’s own Heart?
The author Elizabeth George makes no claims of sainthood in her own journey of being a woman after God’s Own Heart. Maybe this is what endeared me to the book so much and made me determined to finish it in one sitting? I read that she and her husband have been active in ministry for more than 30 years…which should actually be over 40 years of we consider that version was updated and expanded in 2006.
I am forever grateful to my new sister and friend Etonde NBA who has this beautiful kids’ library called B4Kids, and graciously told me I was welcome anytime. I don’t know what this book is doing in a kids’ library, maybe so that mothers read some while their kids are reading/doing their own stuffs?
To God be the Glory…
I want to celebrate Ekema today. It is equally his 39th Birthday. He lives with us since June after his last discharge from the Psychiatry ward. You see, I was an intern at the Psychiatry ward and on my very first day there I went into the ‘infamous cabano’ and Ekema spoke to my spirit without my knowing then we would still be together 8 months later. And so on his special day, I am sharing what I just wrote to him on Facebook because I want the world to know #itispossible and that #ThereisHope, let’s #BetheHope
Dear Ekema: I want the world to know.
I remember April 02-2018 very well. That was my 1st day there and I was told not to go into the Cabano. I was told only the most crazy are kept there…and yes, when I finally defied and went in there a few hours later, you appealed to me immediately because you spoke English and offered me your journal to read all the projects you had in there for your family and society. The only words I recall hearing and understanding were Buea, Fakoship, Lawyer Makolo…the rest I couldn’t catch because you spoke them through your ‘forest-like’ beard at the speed of lightening. Your gaze seemed piercing and you paced so ferociously in your cell. I didn’t know then I will welcome you into my home, but I knew I wanted to help you out as most as I could. 8 months later, we are still helping each other out. You are a great uncle Ekema to to the boys, and a wonderful small brother to me. I have a wonderful family in that Buea now thanks to you and the world also knows about you. On this special day of yours, as you turn 39, what else can I wish you other than that your journey here on earth keeps getting better and better? You told me last night ma it’s 5th and not 15th, I was so proud of you for that because back in the hospital you had told me you don’t know and you don’t really care because you had never celebrated any. God will help celebrate this one. I appreciate you, you are my hero, you are an inspiration to many. God bless you always dear Albert Ekema Makolo. To God be the Glory great things he has done…
Today is World Disability Day and here is a basic definition I got from the world wide web: Collins dictionary defined disability thus: “Disability is a permanent injury, illness, or physical or mental condition that tends to restrict the way that someone can live their life.”
Do I need to remind the world of my dis-Abilities? I wear hearing aids (and so what?), I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and suffered for two good years limping and downing meds (and so what?), I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder aka PTSD in 2014, indeed I used to be so messed up up there I attempted suicide in February 2009 (gimmie a big break here – and so what?).
Come on people stop giving words so much limitation powers. Find the ability in your disability, show some empathy, compassion and even sympathy ( who knows which you know or prefer?).
Dare to turn your dis-Ability into something beautiful, stand up, speak up and shine on.
But as far as I am concerned, I now know how to take care of me, all dem damn dis-Abilities and more
Bereavement single parent dad
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