Category Archives: Advocacy

Please Donate for my association Hope 4 the Abused $ Battered


 

 

Hello World, I turn 40 years in 16 days (18. 01. 79) and my wish is to open a mental health care support center and shelter for victims and survivors of Domestic Violence and Gender based violence in my city.

Please, just click here and donate whatever you have. Donate to/for me while I am still alive. My association Hope for the Abused and Battered is a precious baby who was born pursuant to a 39 year tough pregnancy with various traumatic twists and turn leaving me with different physical and mental health challenges. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in 2008 and PTSD in 2014. In 2013 I was almost all deaf and had to start wearing hearing aids immediately. In the midst of it all, Hope kept me going.

Thank you very much for your generous donations

Advertisements

Book Release! Are you Husband Material: Reversing the Conventional Probing


AHM K

Are you Husband Material? Reversing the Conventional probing was inspired by the awkward though conventional question some gentleman asked me in December 2016. He asked me if I was wife material because I was hesitating responding to his offer to marry me. It didn’t make sense to me that I should at my age and circumstance, still get asked such a question. I mean, if at 37 with three kids you could be asked even if you didn’t seem ‘desperate’ to be a wife, imagine how much younger ladies should be dealing with in their strive to be wives. In our conventional societies where it seems getting married is the highest of achievements especially for women, preparing yourself to be wife material is actually right next to being taught how to be a girl. Conventional society expects girls to play with dolls, learn to cook pretty quick, do as their mums do so that daddy or their brothers are not embarrassed, not to talk of a potential suitor. But what of the boys and men? Are they groomed to be husbands too? Do they ever get the flip question too? I had never heard of any until I decided to embark on this other literary project. It is with all candour, my best book so far. I mean, as a mother of all boys, what a pleasure for me to provide such a book which helps them groom themselves and check their intentions ‘well well’ if marriage is their choice. Indeed, I think men even have a bigger role to play in conventional society because they are the heads right? The current statistics on failed/failing/or non contracted marriages also warrants some real soul searching. I decided to take the path less traveled and focus on men, giving the plethora of literature available on women and their preparation/expectations/obligations and all in between in a marriage. I have no doubt this book will make a good read and generate lots of brainstorming.

Available in Cameroon at: https://www.arreybuy.com/product/are-you-husband-material-by-marie-abanga/

Available on the Amazon in Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L9ZNBVC

Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1791582877

Kindly visit my author page for more on all my books: https://www.amazon.com/Marie-A.-Abanga/e/B00ILM7IJK

ISBN: 9781791582876
Imprint: Independently published

She told me she had AIDS and I told her that was ok: In memory of Violet gone too soon


HIV

I met Violet in September 2009 and in December 2009 she was dead. I had sent word to the village looking for a nanny and when Violet said she was available, I arranged for her to come very fast. Little did I know what I was signing up for. But here is the deal, I had already made a covenant with God that if he spared me of AIDS especially after the turbulent ‘sexually’ irresponsible life I had led so far and was again pregnant, I was never going to ‘reject’ any person on my path because of their status. That was in 2003 in the city of Yaounde inside a church after I had just given my blood to be tested for HIV at the CHU hospital. How could I therefore send Violet back a few hours after her arrival and following her revelation? I feel out with my husband and mother but I wasn’t going to fall out with God. My baby was 3 months old and I knew Violet wasn’t going to deliberately or accidentally harm my baby. We loved each other till the end. Her last words to me 3 days before dying however still tear me up on days like these: “mummy why have you abandoned me?”

She had returned to the village to spend that ‘last’ Christmas with her own daughter, leaving the hospital here on her signature because she felt her end was near after all.

The Following is a conversation I had this (this post was written (01.12.18) morning with my neice who lived with us back then: [01/12, 07:36] .Marie A. Abanga: Morning mama Ndolo [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: You remember Violet who lived with us for like 3 months to take care of Gaby? [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: If yes, did you know she had AIDS? [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: If yes, how did that make you feel especially as you guys slept in the same room? [01/12, 07:38] .Marie A. Abanga: Please I will like to share your answers in a live video am doing at 8 am to talk about her. Today is world AIDS Day. Thank you baby [01/12, 08:13] Malaika Moki Linonge: Hello mama [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: Sorry I am in the mkt [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: But it was a good experience [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: I was afraid that we could be contaminated, especially for the bb [01/12, 08:15] Malaika Moki Linonge: And also as I stayed with her at the hospital [01/12, 08:20] Malaika Moki Linonge: It was wonderful when we knew she had AIDS, we where surprised why u took her in and understood why u excepted her for some work at home [01/12, 08:20] .Marie A. Abanga: Thank you baby so much [01/12, 08:20] Malaika Moki Linonge: U are welcome mama

Anyone wanting to watch the live video I did could click the link below

https://web.facebook.com/marieangeleAbanga/videos/1253824834759318/

#thankyouviolet #notostigma #knowyourstatus #liveyourtruth #safesex #Showsomeempathy

Although World Aids Day is come and gone, we are still in the month of December. I shared this on my Facebook on the day itself, along with a live video. I just thought to share this here again, to inspire+motivate us all.

Wow news as am featured on World Pulse


Oh yes world,

Somebody is doing what she love: writing: and she’s getting featured on the one and only World Pulse now.

https://www.worldpulse.com/en/voices-rising/stories/cameroon-spite-fractured-girlhood-we-made-it

It is a wonderful feeling and it’s been a 5 years journey to World Pulse to begin with. I mean, what was I even waiting for to start blogging there?

Don’t give up on whatever you are at, there is time for sowing and time for harvesting. Above wowing at the honorarium I wasn’t expecting, I am wowing at the opportunities this affords me…

With so much gratitude I wish everyone all the best

It is called: Hope for the Abused and Battered Association


my gift from god1059994039..jpg

So world, last week I said there was something in the pipeline. It was going to be all about Hope. This girl who navigated by grace from Hopeless to Hopeful is now ready after 3 years of grooming, to contribute her might in giving hope to others still in that hopeless hold of despair…

Before I write further, if you are on Facebook, please show some love by liking our Facebook page. 

When I was about to start this year, my spirit told me it’s going to be my year of Grace. Barely a month into the new year, my spirit said set yourself aside for 70 days and do a spiritual journey fasting from 7 things. Ha, I mean even my mum said I was going nuts.

Not only were some pissed I was seemingly leaving the legal practice to get into psychotherapy, but they weren’t even seeing any clear road map.

Now, earlier this month same spirit said start doing live video campaigns to advocate for the battered, and then a few days ago – bingo; you are creating an association and you will call it… I wrote down the constitution and everything in like 3 hours – it was near magical – I got the numbers to call, found the support from an awesome sisterhood network I belong to online, volunteers reached out and long story short we are on our way to legalization and more…

Would you say I walk with stubborn but passionate faith or not yet convinced?

At Hope for the Abused and Battered, we have the following objectives:

The association Hope for the Battered (H4B) has the following objectives:
• To provide legal assistance to victims of domestic violence, and the battered in our communities;
• To provide counseling and psychotherapeutic assistance to individuals and groups;
• To raise awareness and sensitize the population on the damages caused by domestic violence, and all other forms of violence;
• To encourage a spirit of peace, love, forgiveness and living in harmony in our communities;
• To cooperate with associations with similar objectives

Here are our four focus areas:

1) Hope for victims and survivors of Domestic Violence;
2) Hope for persons living with a mental illness or mental challenges;
3) Hope for abused children and youths; My own son’s case is going to maybe be the first we handle as an association lol
4) Hope for the Battered and Tattered by life.

Anyone wanting to join us and make a difference should kindly contact me. It must not be financial assistance, we still need to build a website and get the word out sort of. We need to get legalized then start looking out for partners and sponsors… I know this will be huge, I pray for the Grace above all

Have a great week everyone, thank you so much for all your support, reading, liking, commenting, I really appreciate and am often moved to tears

 

Is this child abuse or what? I need Grace to handle this


I came back home to this. Gaby (9 years old grade 5), says his teacher chose two of them to set example on. They were playing after tests and the teacher was angry.

Tomorrow is PTA for the secondary section, his brothers are there so I will be attending. I am thinking about how best to handle this.

The teacher used a gaz pipe. Out there you guys may not have gaz pipes but they are tiny pipes linking the gaz plate to the gaz bottle.

I got numb, and then cried, and then reached out to my sisterhood.

Thanks for your advice everyone

Could you just listen?


via Could you just listen?

That was a poem I wrote SIWO last Sunday to usher in the month of October. In 5 days we celebrate world mental health day and statistics remain bleak in spite of all the awareness and resources available.

I am most grateful for the listening gift received in full some months ago.

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect

 

 

Please could you vote for my sickle cell Warrior Arrey Echi?


 

Hello all oh, please I need your votes to get my Sickle Cell warrior Arrey Echi nominated for some big awards o.

You sure saw my blog about my becoming a Strong and Proud Sickle Cell voice now thanks to her right? She has for a few years now done these colorful online campaigns to raise awareness, hmm this year’s own beat all the others. Yours truly was featured and appreciated to all my blushing.

 

Arrey shared this at the end of this year’s campaign on her facebook wall:

I would like to say a big thank you to those who supported the sickle cell awareness month in one way or another. Worth mentioning are those who went out of their way to support our activities by buying a #BreakTheSilenceTee shirt.

Because we have a lot of activities planned for warriors, we had to seek ways to raise funds and what better way than to add some swag into tee shirts while we devise other means to ensure we have our programs funded?

With 5.000frs, you can also get a tee shirt like this and because I like nyanga, I just needed to bring some swag into it with this unique Cameroon touch thanks to Enjoh Prodencia Asanga and her unique #ContriLifedesigns.

Please support a worthy cause. Get a Break the silence tee for 5k or if you like gi we 1million we no go mind 😉 😉

Our people say one hand cannot tie a bundle. I am forever grateful to all who are always supporting me in one way or another.

A collage of some who bought and wore in support of sickle cell awareness month.

Thank you all. The awareness continues.

#BreakTheSilence #BeASickleCellVoice #SickleCellAwareness

To vote so she be nominated for the categories:

  1. Best Blogger in English; and
  2. Best Social Media Campaign

Please just go to this link and go to those categories, click them and you are asked just two questions.

  1. Who are you nominating? answer ARREY ECHI.
  2. Why are you nominating this person? Answer BECAUSE SHE DESERVES THIS NOMINATION.

Simple right my people? So I beg on bended knees lol, give us your votes so my heroine gets these nominations. You can vote everyday too, I do that. They insist you have a facebook account and I hope many of us do o. Thank you very much

p.s: I will sure be back when thanks to your votes she gets nominated and we needs votes for the finals hahahaha

I am a proud sickle cell voice thanks to my heroine Arrey Echi


Hello world, the first two pictures were taken at her house in Yaounde, and the third one in my own house in Douala.

I am talking about my heroine Arrey Echi’s house lol. Now, here is who my heroine is in a few words;

She is a gentle and caring soul. She lives with sickle cell anemia and she is a warrior. Recognized both nationally and internationally for her advocacy, she has received quiet some awards for her work. She is currently setting up her foundation aptly called Joy2Endure, and those t-shirts are part of her branding and advocacy material. Ah, I could write a whole book about Arrey Echi.

I happened to have gone to the same university with Arrey, but hmm…where will a chakara like me meet a gentle lady like Arrey if not through our respective online advocacy? We’ve been following each other like for a year now, and we even ran into each other at an event last November, but the time wasn’t right yet it seems. We acknowledged each other and continued our friendship online.

Two weeks ago I decided it was time to go visit her when I got to Yaounde. It was an awesome visit. We had just 30 or so minutes together in her office, and it was hard to say goodbye. Indeed, we agreed when next I was in Yaounde I was staying with her. Here was my recap on facebook lol;

Marie Abanga is feeling blessed with Arrey Echi and 2 others.

21 September at 11:10 ·

I have been following all her advocacy here on FB and didn’t really want to write anything until I met her. The conference I had to attend in Yaounde and hopefully spend a night at her place eating one of her healthy and deli dishes she sometimes tempts us here with, was suddenly postponed. Gladly another opportunity came up and Yaounde I did have to go. I braved the 8hrs trip because above all I was going to meet my heroine. Her voice left me mesmerized, we just got into each other. We both don’t hear so well and so we enjoyed reading our lips and using our hands lol. I am a passionate advocate of some causes too and so I love meeting other passionate advocates like her. And to say we were UB mates? Well chakara me couldn’t meet calm and focused people like her there. And to think I was dreaming she could be my petite soeur because of her petite self and gentleness? Lol see me to blush. Life has lessons. Am a proud student. What is there to fear about sickle cell? Follow my heroine Arrey Echi and be educated. Thank you darling for receiving me.

The opportunity came up while I honoured an invitation to the 2nd national days for Mental Health. I got to Yaounde on Monday and left her house on Thursday morning. She simply spoiled me and I wrote the following about her on Facebook.

Marie A Abanga is feeling grateful with Arrey Echi and 3 others.

Yesterday at 05:43 ·

Arrey Echi I will celebrate you from the mountain top because you are a remarkable person with a very warm heart. I am not saying this because of all the food you loaded me with (wish I could finish each of those plates however lol), I am saying this because of your gentle and caring nature. When someone in 2018, warms you water for your bath, you go on your knees and say a special prayer for them. You came back home early not feeling so great, but you still offered to fry some plums? Chai thank God I had already brushed my teeth and quickly went me to bed. This early am you asked me to wait for a quick breakfast or take along, ha mami, I couldn’t for the love of me accept that o. Now, the advocacy you do for Sickle cell is not just noise, I witnessed you eating balanced meals and sleeping good and co. You even thought me why it was VIP to know one’s genotype using a simple to understand diagram. Have I said before I am mesmerized by your voice? I wish I could stay longer and learn sign language like that other student of yours. Dearest Arrey, I will celebrate you now and not later. Thank you so much, and thank you too Yensi. Dearest Arrey then, hopefully see you next time in your office where there wouldn’t be all that food hahahaha.

Now, talking about being a Sickle voice, the food didn’t kill my voice hahaha. I learned why it is so vip to know our genotype and she used this diagram to explain that to me.

save_20180926_104236

I think I was lucky gambling into making babies without knowing my genotype. I will however get the boys and I tested cause one never knows, and for them, iy would be great knowing their genotype now and not when they fall ‘madly in love’ hahahaha.

Anyways, dear Arrey, I just wanted the world to know what a pearl I have found in you. All the excellent work you do to raise awareness, and that am adding my voice to your campaign and say, ‘No Sickle cell is not witchcraft’, people can live with sickle cell into a ripe old age, #NotoStigma

Happy weekend everyone

p.s; let me just mention that Arrey brought me so much popularity on Facebook with a total of over 170 likes and about 50 comments on all my write ups about her lol

Executive Addiction:How to Know When to Seek Help by Eva Benoit


Executive Addiction

Pre script: Am so grateful to be receiving guests posts these days especially on a topic so close to heart and home. I have seen many addicted and so much pain, I can only hope they reach out everyday even after a relapse

Are you living a double life? Are you, by all appearances, a hardworking professional by day and an addict by night? How do you know when you need to seek help?

If you’ve asked yourself these questions and are concerned you need help for an addiction, take heart knowing there are a lot of options for you to get the treatment you need. Our guide is here to support you on your journey to a healthier life.

First, if you have difficulty making it through the day without some form of chemical stimulant, or if you need alcohol or some other depressant to bring you down, you are probably an addict. Additionally, there are many other telltale signs of addiction you should be aware of, including:

  • Thinking frequently about your drug of choice (DOC)

  • Feeling like you can’t fit in or make it without your DOC

  • Performing uncharacteristic or dangerous behaviors in order to get your DOC

  • Regularly being under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol

Addiction is less about how often or how much you use, and more about the consequences of your using. If your substance use causes problems in your life, you may have an abuse issue.

Addicts are all ages, shapes and sizes, and from every career path and socioeconomic background. Addiction is also a chronic issue, meaning that it’s a lifelong condition; if you’re an addict, you’re one for life, and you will need to work on your recovery every day.

If you’re hesitant to seek treatment out of fear it will require you to take time off from work, the good news is that you can most likely get help from an outpatient facility on your schedule; this would allow you to continue working over the course of your treatment. Inpatient centers can be effective if you need to get away from your daily life and the impulse to use, but that makes it difficult to keep things close to “normal life.” If you want or need to continue working, outpatient treatment may be your best option.

If you seek medical treatment, your information will not be shared with your boss. The only time a treatment professional would share that you are in treatment would be if you gave them written permission, or if they felt you were a danger to yourself or others. Otherwise, people can find out only if you share your news, or if they guess it from your behavior. If you take medical leave and you don’t want to share the reason with your boss or co-workers, they will not know the nature of your absence.

Check with your company’s HR department about your company’s medical and mental health benefits options. Your company may have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that allows you to take time off to get better without fear of losing your job. Make an appointment with an HR rep to discuss your situation confidentially; they can be a great referral resource, as well as answer questions about your options. Even if you work for a small firm, your company’s health insurance may cover substance abuse treatment in full or in part.

Outside of the office, there are many additional resources for those seeking help for addiction. For example, the SAMHSA National Helpline offers free, confidential treatment referral in English and Spanish for individuals and their families seeking help for substance abuse. The number is 1-800-662-HELP (4357), and the organization takes calls 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Additionally, you can find treatment centers in your area using SAMHSA’s locator tool.

If you’re an addict, you have a choice to make every day, every hour, every minute whether you use or not — but you don’t have to struggle alone. You have many options for getting the treatment you need. Don’t let the stress of your job — or the fear of losing it — keep you from taking action for your well-being. Choose right now to get the help you need.

About Eva

About 6 years ago, Eva Benoit left her job as an office manager to pursue being a life, career, and overall wellness coach. She specializes in helping professionals with stress and anxiety, but welcomes working with people from all walks of life. She works with her clients to discover and explore avenues that will bring them balance, peace, and improved overall well-being that can last a lifetime. Her website is evabenoit.com and she is author of the upcoming book, The 30-Day Plan for Ending Bad Habits and Improving Overall Health.

Have a great weekend everyone and know you are not alone in any struggles