Category Archives: Coaching and Therapy

The break did fly while so much happened oh my…


Oh my blogosphere, I an’t believe two weeks have already flown by. I took a blogger break on the 5th of November and oh the stuffs which have been happening to and with me, ha I don’t know where to resume from o.

I have been in top form, I have started lecturing again and baam I have an all ladies class and am so excited, I have progressed with my therapy practice and got some new clients, am getting more grounded about my entrepreneurship journey as well as the future of my association Hope for the Abused and Battered. I mean, I even got the visa to go to the UK afterall, so am planning on going in February when it’ll be less cold I pray.

Let me save the last and best for another post – but it is huge – two writing selections – one of my best poem and the other of… argh I already let part of the cat out of the bag lol

Ok have a great week everyone, it’s so nice to be back. I have to actually get back into full blogging groove again – dunno if those blogging breaks help for real or not – but I can swear anytime I do love me my blogging…and yes we are all good over at Our Home Inc…actually took in another son

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Time for another blogger break to re…


Hello world, I was hoping to put this up last Friday but got funky and carried away.

This year 2018, has been a terrific one so far. So full of grace. Learned and loved so so much. Done so many exciting things ha….girl you deserve a break.

And maybe the best is that I just started another relationship like just last week, and this is someone who had me under his radar for over 8 years? I mean I can’t scare dem away with my shaggy no matter how much I try lol

These cool photos were taken last Thursday at the cementary, ahead of the feast of all souls the next day. I went to help him clean his granny’s tomb. That’s the tradition here, don’t know about out there.

While on break, I of course will be on so many other stuffs, including really trying to get my head and emotions around getting settled into a relationship which may go long term.

Until then, maybe a 10/14 days will do, I wish us all the best. Let me take this blogger break and re…(don’t even know the word to use lol)

A break every now and then is super self care and self love…take it from the psychotherapist herself hahahah

It is called: Hope for the Abused and Battered Association


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So world, last week I said there was something in the pipeline. It was going to be all about Hope. This girl who navigated by grace from Hopeless to Hopeful is now ready after 3 years of grooming, to contribute her might in giving hope to others still in that hopeless hold of despair…

Before I write further, if you are on Facebook, please show some love by liking our Facebook page. 

When I was about to start this year, my spirit told me it’s going to be my year of Grace. Barely a month into the new year, my spirit said set yourself aside for 70 days and do a spiritual journey fasting from 7 things. Ha, I mean even my mum said I was going nuts.

Not only were some pissed I was seemingly leaving the legal practice to get into psychotherapy, but they weren’t even seeing any clear road map.

Now, earlier this month same spirit said start doing live video campaigns to advocate for the battered, and then a few days ago – bingo; you are creating an association and you will call it… I wrote down the constitution and everything in like 3 hours – it was near magical – I got the numbers to call, found the support from an awesome sisterhood network I belong to online, volunteers reached out and long story short we are on our way to legalization and more…

Would you say I walk with stubborn but passionate faith or not yet convinced?

At Hope for the Abused and Battered, we have the following objectives:

The association Hope for the Battered (H4B) has the following objectives:
• To provide legal assistance to victims of domestic violence, and the battered in our communities;
• To provide counseling and psychotherapeutic assistance to individuals and groups;
• To raise awareness and sensitize the population on the damages caused by domestic violence, and all other forms of violence;
• To encourage a spirit of peace, love, forgiveness and living in harmony in our communities;
• To cooperate with associations with similar objectives

Here are our four focus areas:

1) Hope for victims and survivors of Domestic Violence;
2) Hope for persons living with a mental illness or mental challenges;
3) Hope for abused children and youths; My own son’s case is going to maybe be the first we handle as an association lol
4) Hope for the Battered and Tattered by life.

Anyone wanting to join us and make a difference should kindly contact me. It must not be financial assistance, we still need to build a website and get the word out sort of. We need to get legalized then start looking out for partners and sponsors… I know this will be huge, I pray for the Grace above all

Have a great week everyone, thank you so much for all your support, reading, liking, commenting, I really appreciate and am often moved to tears

 

Hmm seems Facebook Juju got my moral values & co too right lol


My Moral Codes

Now, for those who don’t about Facebook ‘Juju’, it is those links which you see every now and then asking you to take a ‘face reading’ sort of, by their ‘mediums’ lol. I mean what can I tell you other than that yours truly has been taking some of those ‘face readings’ and the results are quite impressive?

Last Wednesday I shared some, when announcing a ‘huge social project’ in the pipeline. It’s all about keeping the Hope alive in myself and humanity.

So ‘Facebook Juju’ not only got the moral values right, but also something about what people notice the first time they meet me, and em also that am someone special lol

Now, I wish I had those links saved so I could share for someone to maybe go try their luck? Would that be wrong to do? I don’t really know o. I am however happy with my results – and o that were free face readings hahaha. Sometimes your mental wellbeing gets some boost from where least expected. These make me really feel like a princess.

Have a great weekend everyone

Something huge about Hope is in the making…


Happy midweek everyone. Now when I started this year and my spirit told me it was my year of Grace, I just wrote that down and said Amen.

The above picture is from one of those Facebook picture readers. I love and agree to that one intoto. And below are some 7 facts about me they got right too.

There is something in the making and I got a name and a small team already.

Yes, that’s life for someone like myself who is freedom and love. A tale of talents and a vessel of her Almighty Father. Where ever He Leads I go. His Grace Alone is sufficient.

Thank you in advance for all your best wishes and prayers

From my Therapy Trenches: Mirror on the Wall


Mirror Mirror on the wall…?

Hello all and happy new week. I had a pretty busy weekend (like there are some lazy ones more often right?) Hope everyone is hanging in there.

I thought to start sharing some shenanigans from my Therapy/therapist trenches (I mean I am in daily therapy myself, and as a therapist I work with clients every now and then). I basically am my own therapist and the boys are an excellent co-therapist team.

Today I look at one of the techniques I use in my trench. I ask some clients to look at the mirror and tell me what they see. I had one in the office (when I was at the hospital) and I always hope they carry one in their bags too (thinking of the ladies lol). After that, I ask them to talk to the person they see in that mirror.

I got real inspired to use this mirror technique after I was able to reach out to a client after two ‘unfruitful sessions’ at the hospital. I asked her the third time she came if she had a mirror in her back. She frowned but pulled it out and started making excuses for her appearance and ‘pimpled face’ oh my. I told her I saw all of that but that’s not why I asked if she had a mirror. She said she hadn’t made up that morning because she was running late. After trying to resist my urging her to ‘just look at herself in the mirror’, she did. I told her to do that for just 3 minutes but after the 2nd minute she broke down crying.

I then encouraged her to feel the feelings, face the fears and write down all she wanted. Later on, I encouraged her to talk to the person in the mirror.

It was after everything a wonderful experience for both of us. A few others have appreciated that technique too.

I have a mirror Infront of my room, I share the mirror with the boys. I look at it to see myself in all my shades, and I love to talk to myself. I do that before I leave home and before I go to bed each day.

I find this technique awesome and don’t know if any other person uses this, or has had to participate in any such experience.

Until next time, have a great week and stay inspired+motivated everyone

I finally wrote a letter to the girl I once was…


Wow, sometimes swallowing your own prescription pill is hard I must confess.

Come see me to be sharp in advising my clients to write a letter to their younger selves lol. It took a call for stories (for an award hahaha) over at World Pulse (which I equally just joined after years of procrastination I must add).

Anyways, I wouldn’t critique myself so much. I had  done a photo therapy and even slept with my childhood  photo under my pillow.

Please, go here and read the letter yours truly wrote to Ayo as I was then popularly known…

Have a great weekend everyone

Since a Visa to London is not a Visa to Life, I have been busy living lol


 

So Friday is here peeps and I have been busy living indeed wow. I would have been in London this week had I received the visa I applied for to go attend a World Global Ministerial Mental Health Summit. But hmmmmmmmmm, no definite feedback yet from the visa guys other than an email saying:

Unfortunately, the processing of your application has not been straightforward and we will be unable to decide your application within our customer service targets. We are continuing to work on your application and aim to make a decision as soon as possible.

And seriously now, other than a wow wow wow; what could be a better reaction? I applied on the 21st of September and got that on the 3rd of October. My only qualms is my passport ‘held up’ in all this hahaha.

Anyways, that visa to London wasn’t a visa to Life so I continued living my thrilling life lo. So brief but very important timeline shall we?

  1. Friday October 5th 2018, I have a great workout and leave for work so fresh. Am doing some series on Facebook titled ‘Musewithmarie; Keeping it Real; and #MyVoice’ – where I raise awareness to causes that matter like domestic violence, mental health and wellness etc;
  2. Sunday October 7th 2018 I get to vote for the first time in my 39 years of living wow wow wow. I was to fly out on Friday 5th, and when I didn’t get that visa to London, I knew I had no reason not to vote. Getting registered and getting that card took me three years and I wasn’t going to let that down the drain right? To put this presidential elections in some perpective, we got the same President since Ronald Regan became president – like how many guddam years today? I read he is the 2nd longest serving President in Africa wow;
  3. Monday October 8th was my son Alain’s 15th birthday and that was enough to make my week.
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The winning team, I now agree the CIC is in the no smiling stage lol

That evening we went out for dinner and to my amazement he contributed for the outing – I mean I would have missed all this had been off to London right?

I share just those 3 to let someone in some difficult or challenging situation right now know that there can always be a silver lining to a dark cloud if we dare look very well. At least for me that worked once again. I was a funded delegate and all I spent was time and visa fees (big amount of 200 usd for which I even did a fundraiser ha). But am not sitting here and cursing or whining (other than that I’ll appreciate getting my passport back, sooner than not). No, I am busy with living and for this I need no visa…

 

Have a great weekend everyone

Just Say it as it is…


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Just say it as it is

Just say it as you see

Just say it as you think

Just say it as you feel

What is it you want

What is it you need

What is it you can

What is it you can’t

There is so much shallow

When you don’t say it

When you fake it

Because you want to make it

It may work for a while

But can last only a while

And the price you’ll pay

May lead you a painful way

It is worth every dime

To say it as it is

I ain’t saying no more

Yes yes to please

When my soul will miss

The serenity it so seeks

Sometimes silence says it too

If they don’t like it

If they don’t want it

If they don’t respect it

Not my worry

I will just say it as it is

(c) Marie Abanga 2017

p.s: Am not sure if this is a throwback poem because I wrote same last year, but I needed to remind myself of this now more than ever. The above picture taken in 2007 and found in my drawer recently, is clearly at time when I was a big people pleaser to the detriment of my own self. Today, as I learn how to take more and more care of my emotional and mental wellbeing, ‘saying it as it is’ becomes indispensable. Be you inspired and motivated and have a great new month full of self care, and just saying it as it is…

It was all about Love Unity and Sisterhood this weekend, + what’s next…


Hello World, a new week is here and I sometimes cherish writing about my thrilling weekends so that their memories stay and spice/speed up my week especially when am looking forward to another tough one like this one starting today.

So, last week I was up and about and I was equally recovering from Malaria now. On Thursday I traveled to Yaounde our capital city to apply for a UK Visa ahead of the world’s 1st Global Ministerial Mental Health Summit from October 9-10. It will be a big honour and delight to attend – let’s see what the visa peeps decide lol.

I worked till 10nish and left for a 4 jours journey which turned out to be 8 hours due to current events in my country (not going into that).

Anyways, once I was done at the visa center the next day, I went to visit a facebook friend and university mate I never even knew lol. She (Arrey Etchi) is a dynamic and passionate Sickle Cell warrior and advocate, and I had been planning to meet her. We had a brief but profuond time. You can read my Facebook write up on that meeting here if you wish lol.

Back to my city with sadly another 8 hours on the road. Weary but not dreary enough to attend our high school reunion on Saturday in another city not so far away this time. I mean, we have monthly reunions but it ain’t every month we all can make it.

This time around, only 4 of us could even do so. Our host was so delighted (yes it was an all girls high school so we are thick hahaha). I love my sisterhood and can only invite those who want to read more on that to click here. It is a brief facebook write up of my hood and why I cherish that hood above all others hahaha…And this too is self care with an awesome support network…

Invitation to NMHDaysI will be attending the 2nd national days of of mental health, organized under the esteemed tutelage of the Minister of Public Health who invited me in my capacity as the GMHPN representative for Cameroon, and how can I say no right? To think I was appointed just a few months ago and I have not even written yet to introduce the GMHPN to the Minister? To think this invitation means some ‘red carpet’ treatment and maybe an interview lol?

The event is held in Yaounde this 25-26, meaning I will leave tonight or 4 am Tuesday morning and return home on Thursday, so you see why the weekend’s memory is even more special for me.

Wouldn’t bore us further with writing more, wish us all a happy week