Category Archives: Famous Quotations and teachings

Religious Fanatism…You hypocrites…


 

popes-words-on-lent

Hello world, I don’t care what people think or say, I don’t ‘flaunt’ my religion nor try to ‘throat’ it down anyone – gosh we are ere past the Inqisitions. I have dabbled into various religions at different times of my life, and even at some point left all thing to do with Religion. That didn’t mean Jesus wasn’t in my heart and life, better still I loved doing good and striving to be a good person. So, if after my ‘religious prostitution’ (let me use the kind of strong language Jesus himself will use when He shouts out: ‘hyprocrites’), I re-settle as a ‘Catholic’ (even if with yes still some reservations) I got ash today reminding me of my ‘vanity’ – we will all die but how we live matters, then who am I to think I am better off or should belong or shun or ‘judge’ someone because of their religion or absence thereof?

I have simply come to the conclusion that religion or my religion has nothing to do with spiritual wellbeing if I neglect my personal relationship with Jesus and my fellow human being. To me, it boils down to the form of external worship in fellowship I am most ok with… interprete that as you wish…

Now, the Pope is ‘Catholic’, but I have seen him embrace such universality and all values, I am in awe. I just read him urging people to give to the homeless this lent not caring on what they spent the donations….

What makes you a better christian than the other, or even a better human being?

Fasting for me is not only during lent, I actually love fasting whenever I feel like and from whatever I feel in my spirit to fast from and for whatever duration and etc. I once barred religion and politics from my blog because I was noticing some recurrent comments trying to patronize this blog as one of Religious orientation – manifestation etc etc: I leave my blog and life open and really don’t even want to know what is whoever’s religion or no religion … so long as they are not hurting me and are just trying to be good people.

Without spewing more, I just want to share today’s gospel reading which you don’t have to be a catholic to appreciate. The bible is there for all and you can read it and call it what you like…

Faith without deeds is useless… preaching without Love and Charity and tolerance is useless…

Matthew 6:1-6.16-18

‘Be careful not to parade your uprightness in public to attract attention; otherwise you will lose all reward from your Father in heaven.

2 So when you give alms, do not have it trumpeted before you; this is what the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win human admiration. In truth I tell you, they have had their reward.

3 But when you give alms, your left hand must not know what your right is doing;

4 your almsgiving must be secret, and your Father who sees all that is done in secret will reward you.

5 ‘And when you pray, do not imitate the hypocrites: they love to say their prayers standing up in the synagogues and at the street corners for people to see them. In truth I tell you, they have had their reward.

6 But when you pray, go to your private room, shut yourself in, and so pray to your Father who is in that secret place, and your Father who sees all that is done in secret will reward you.

16 ‘When you are fasting, do not put on a gloomy look as the hypocrites do: they go about looking unsightly to let people know they are fasting. In truth I tell you, they have had their reward.

17 But when you fast, put scent on your head and wash your face,

18 so that no one will know you are fasting except your Father who sees all that is done in secret; and your Father who sees all that is done in secret will reward you.

Shalom

Watch “Shit happens. Clean it up and move on! | Beatrice Achaleke | TEDxKlagenfurt” on YouTube


Beatrice is my heroine, my mentor, my boss from my day zero here on earth. No matter how long we stay without talking to or seeing each other, when we do it’s a bam.

Am still planning my trip to J’bourg.

Who is following Us to Africa? 

Who is giving themselves unapologetic permission to clean the shit that happens in their lives?

Kindly leave some insight here or on the clip, you never can tell who’s gonna be helped by your comment.

Have a great Sunday my e-family…

Why Do people say you have changed?


change-and-why

Hello world, new year new fuel… and I mean blogging fuel hopefully. I am not ‘pumped’ up in that high kind of way, but I am hoping to blog more, especially ‘coaching’ kind of content to help us all… as usual I get to use more from personal experience than from anywhere else… So, let’s get going, hoping we all are starting off this new year ‘pumped’ up to be better versions of ourselves…

You have changed

That was something an aunty kept saying to me when I came back to Cameroon last year – relocated to start all over again with my 3 boys… Now, as if making that decision to relocate to my country without any financial luggage was not hard enough, I had to start worrying 1) if the change she was remarking about was good or bad change, and 2) what could have caused that change, and 3) what I was to do with that change. The above caption which I stumbled across on facebook last December caught my attention and got me thinking and deciding to share my reflections here on my blog. 

Yes I have sure changed, I love this change and so it is…

I left this country – the real word should be I fled this country in May 20111 an emotional mess to put it that simple. My weight had dropped significantly from the shameful 115kgs of 2009 to something between 80/75 kgs and so I wasn’t weighed down by any physical mass to be candid. I still wanted to shed a few kilos but above all I need to HEAL emotionally, spiritually and even professionally. Fast forward 5 years later: I am emotionally whole, spiritually grounded, professionally on a path I love and am working hard for and I have lost the kilos I still wanted to lose. So Yes YES (as my favorite Lisa Nichols teaches), I have changed and for all purposes it is good change.

What caused the change… and keeps causing the change

I can now honestly say the change was caused both by what I went through, and what I learnt through it all. The bonus was what I let myself make of it all because that had an impact in how I let myself handle the change. That’s what I’ll look at next. For here, I had been hurt so much in life by my circumstances and my own doing and undoing, I could only but try to get the message out of all that mess and let that message change me for the better. I had to let go of all the hurt because if I hung on to it, I couldn’t change genuinely and completely. I also started paying more attention to the life’s lessons, learning a lot from others – so many inspirational and motivational great people out there. I still do and have no regrets that I’ll rather spend my time listening to life changing you tubes and reading positive material than going out on social functions. 

What I am doing with this change

Now, I simply can’t change and keep all that to myself… that’s just not me. Simply put, I am working towards becoming an emotional and wellbeing coach and I am beginning to realize my story is the main capital I am going to ever use to help others in their own change journey. This is what I am doing with this change and I am so grateful to be able to use my change journey and story to help inspire and motivate others. To me, the change means the world to me because I can help others with story.

My reach out to us all

Life is so full of twists and turns… so much hurt amidst the joys… and yet we can change… we can embrace that change, and we can find it so fulfiling if we help others too… Please, we don’t have to fear change unless we are comfortable with life as is and that I doubt. We are here for each other, at least I think many of us are… let’s share our journies and help each other out the best we can…

Peace, Love and Abundant positive change in this new year

change

Warming up to pay it forward


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Dear 🌍,  that’s me 45 or so mins ago. I am warming up to pay it forward… This means it’s a positive payment right? And difficult one nonetheless as you’ll see. That’s why I need constant warm ups henceforth. I’ll commit to a daily 30 mins workouts for the next 3 months and then I’ll see how that goes…

Why warm up daily? I mean am a 3/week adept already, and although one hap or mishap can sometimes tamper with that routine, am trying my best… And sure, anyone who has tried, will agree me about the therapeutic sensations and effects derived from these workouts. I mean, Obama was quoted as saying: ” Give me my workout time, and my work time will be just wonderful”. As for Michelle O, gosh that skin of hers drives me with motivation…  Can you imagine the holistic wellbeing of these two?

And now, in addition to holistic wellbeing,  I find myself in a pay forward situation already. What’s to pay forward you may wonder? The help and support I got to be on this awesome path to a Big, Better and Brighter Merry Marie… It wasn’t easy, it still isn’t. But I sure am in and on it with all my 3 Ds…

I acknowledge seeing a psychotherapist and working with an awesome life coach, I even admit taking pain killers, sleep pills and vitamins. Yet, it was the constant, selfless and unconditional love and support of my SSH, that worked the biggest magic. Uh huh I did lot of work and homework myself, but I just couldn’t on my own – messed up as I then was…

It’s been 5 years and more since I started out, one inconsequential step at a time. Today however, even the weight loss is evidence enough. Some still don’t believe I once 🕒 115kgs…

Whenever I thanked my SSH, he’ll say ‘just pay it forward’: that’s the best recognition. Did I know that will be happening barely 7 months after my relocation home? And the situation is slightly complicated because my new client is behind bars and thought by some to be despicable… Yet they at slightly over my age, acknowledge that it’s high time and they are ready, cause they are sick and tired of being sick and tired of their life as is…

Dear Lord, I pray the serenity prayer with all my heart. I, like Solomon, pray for Wisdom and Grace… I need thee every hour, I know I have my e-family, my SSH and my guardian angel to cheer me on…

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Have a wonderful Sunday everybody and keep up in all you strive…

Never treat someone as a priority when …


Maya

I love Maya Angelou and everything she shared in her books and life etc; I hold in very high esteem. But let me state that sometimes, many times, experiece though a harsh teacher is the best you can get. I mean, the lesson you learn from Teacher E, sticks and lasts hopefully a good while unless you learnt while under the influence of …

So, now I love using personal talk to illustrate my posts. After all my blog is about my thrilling life …

I got a vip class yesterday by good ol Oga E, wherein I got to marvel at the beauty of the above quote…

Let’s call my small oga k, he invites me almost with rain drops , then lets me sit over at a table with a drink for a startling 2 hours and 55 minutes all by myself. Yes I am honest and admit to my own embarrasment that I was a big time OPTION yesterday.

I had made the date my priority for the afternoon after spending the first part visiting my son in boarding school. It was an emotional and slightly difficult visit, and I was glad for the time under a mango tree bar with a drink and some breeze.

So, when oga said to be patient while he sat three tables away with friends sharing drinks and talking whatever, I was glad to be alone with my drink and kindle reading my cool away.

1st hour was thus happy hour – sort of treating myself at his bill;

but 2nd became learning tolerance and patience hour – sort of taming myself at his benefit;

The next 55 minutes were spent dealing with my rising frustration and anger and deciding on how best to deal with the situation – sort of dealing and healing myself to his advantage and mine ofcourse 🙂

option 2

I learnt a lot yesterday, and was glad I left when I did and handled it oh so calm for real. I realized I had all along been an option, and the whassap exchanges shortly before I left, confirmed just that. None followed when I left, not that I cared. I have a lot going on my life just now to really make serious space for any T, D or H…

The deal for me is SIMPLE, I get to continue on my free lane:

decision

Who is who in America?


who is who in America?
who is who in America?

I have been in America for roughly 6 days now, and although that may not be considerable enough time to observe much and beef up such a post, I still think I have noticed something.

There is this quote I came across in a book am reading called “Blue Code”, written by an ex psyc unit nurse. He says: ” Unfortunately the ‘sane’ adult world has no tolerance for such blatant honesty…”. I have found this to be for real especially out here, as I crisscross visiting the ‘high and the lowly’, coming across some ‘good, bad and ugly’.

So who is who in America?

I remember as a kid, admiring some sort of award an uncle of mine had received during his studies in America. He received that in the year of my birth – 1979, and it was from his university where he had been the top top student that year. But today, I dare to ponder if  such an award doesn’t exist invisibly for those who own the most… (Fill in the blanks).

Who is who wherever?

Is it the man/woman with that big heart like my friend Richie, or the one with that big car? Is it the fanciest dressed or the jolly radiating person? The one living in the mega super equiped condo or vila, or the small warm and love filled studio? The diner who eats the super jumbo deli and shops like a hop? I came across this quotation from Michelle Obama and it’s funny am right here on her soil and seeing some of such things for myself. I remember the movie The Pursuit of Happiness by Will Smith and I go; men am on that Uncle Sam’s vineyard now.

Does she say this because she already has the money anyway?
Does she say this because she already has the money anyway?

I hear it’s all in the culture

I was mentioning this to a dear friend, when I was told it was all in the culture. Maybe more in a culture where a who is who back then, was determined by how many slaves you owned? By how many wives, children, cattle and whatever you owned?

Dear readers and followers, I never gave capitalism so much thought until I came to America last week. I am yet to see much, but I have seen some, even firsthand. I smile when I receive a gift, but my donor and I know I’ll be giving same over to the very next person I pick out who needs same. I sure don’t want to be a who is who in this life, if such a person is defined material possessions. Material, intellectual and otherwise possessions may be necessary (especially to make a bigger difference in the lives of others) and even good (for wellbeing), but they don’t sure equate to Happiness.

I think I now know what the hell is wrong with ‘dad’…


He passes the test with flying colours
He passes the test with flying colours

This is a very delicate and even difficult post to write and publish. Indeed, my recent ‘aha moments’ have bestowed a whole week of writer’s block on me. I am working on a new chapter I decided last minute to include in my forthcoming memoir, because I realised how naggingly on and off this ‘subject’ of what the hell is actually wrong with dad, still takes up my precious brain energy. I don’t even have a single picture with him only, inspite of being what I have come to learn is the ‘Golden Child’ of a Malignant Narcissist.

So you get it, I am diagnosing him with a Malignant Narcisstic Personality Disorder. I had found the strength last year, with help from my psychotherapist and my mum and co, to forgive him. Forgetting however was not just that easy. And each time I thought of, or saw my brother’s picture, each time I read a related blog post or even met someone with a similar traumatic story like mine, each time I so badly wanted to understand as much as possible what the hell is wrong with the man we all called dad, and so looked up to.

I am still so stunned and maybe even shaken to write more that will even make sense of all what is currently going on in me right now. I am even happy I have been able to write this much. I think I can now go back to that chapter and maybe write 1000 or 2000 words before bedtime.

Only those who have searched for answers to their ‘inner demons’, those who have found it seemingly impossible to quiet their ‘raging minds’ until something makes sense to them (at least much sense even if not total), can have a better glimpse of what I am potraying here.

Am I to let go just like that? I sincerely don’t think so. If others hadn’t gathered the courage to share their painful past with us, there is much we would still only be second guessing about. I still take responsibility for my mess and poor choices as shared in my first thriller of a memoir, but I still assert and with much more understanding than before, that things may have turned out differently if only I had had a different dad, and by implication a different relationship with mum. This is how I currently see it. Alas they turned out as is, a lot of damage has been caused and two siblings haved been buried right there behind his house.

I wish even one person is helped by whatever I share here or in any of my memoirs. I hope one partner somewhere in a narcisstic relationship, gets an ‘aha monent’ and leave… There is indeed so much pain in the world…

Thanks to whoever reads this and even likes or leaves a comment… the whatever I feel even robs me of the usal tears which would have been flowing in abundance by now… dare I say I would have preferred the tears to my current state of near blankness? If my brother got a label and he didn’t care to even call the boy or attend a single therapy session, I am giving him one whether he likes it or not… I rest in peace…

In Memoriam of MLK


First step by MLK

Nothing much to write about this, just a thought to share with all. ” I take such leaps in all faith, and even when I fall, I don’t break my legs – hence I can get up and continue climbing”! This is what I wish to all my gentle readers and followers regardless of the situation you find yourself in. You see, Faith fuels Hope and they keep Love alive even in the midst challenges, injustice and illness.

Happy #MLK day 🙂 (is it past? maybe by some hours depending on where you are)