Category Archives: Guest Posts

Facing My Fears, series 4 BY ASHLEY ROSE!


I started posting the facing fears series of my friend ASHLEY ROSE Ashley Roseand I am glad to be doing the fourth and last one today.

For recaps; we could just follow the clicks 1, 2 and 3.

In the fourth and last post in these series, Ashley shares with us how she over came her fear of  – hold your breath – yes of becoming a writer.

Woah, how we often think some things are so natural. Read on:

“I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder roughly five years ago. Since being diagnosed, I have been on this journey of facing my fears. Some of my fears have been snakes, bridges, moving, and lately I have been facing my fear of becoming a writer. I know you may be thinking that is not really a fear, but it is. One of my friends put it best; she said she has not only a fear of failure, but also a fear of success. According to the book “Dancing with Fear,” the author describes fear as paralyzing and stifling future endeavors. So terrified to death, I started putting myself out there for the entire world to see. Okay, I don’t have that many followers, but you get my drift. Writing is baring ones soul and becoming vulnerable to others. I have always felt called to write and ever since I can remember I have wanted to write. So this is part of my current journey of becoming a writer.

Conquering my past: In the 8th grade, the entire class was asked to write down three professions that we wanted to be when we grew up; I wrote that I wanted to be a writer, teacher, and zoologist. I remember being so proud to show my list to the teacher, but feeling very discouraged when she looked at it and made a disapproving face. My heart sunk down to the ground. Why would she not encourage me to write? Am I that bad of a writer? I made it all the way to 8th grade with mostly A’s and B’s. Why does she not like my chosen profession? Mind you, my entire friends pretty much all put down that they wanted to be teachers. Yes, I have always been a different child. And no, I have not always embraced it. So for the first time putting myself out there and in my eyes, getting rejected, I started to rethink my destiny. To make a long story short, I decided to trade that profession in and try to find a more “realistic” career. Sadly, all the careers I have tried are all washed up and it’s just me and my pen staring at each other. My pen never left my side and neither did my true dream.

Keeping a journal: I toyed with the idea of writing a novel about four years ago, but procrastinated mid-flight. I decided to start journaling as much as possible. I started to have that feeling of pure joy again. Finishing a poem or discovering an ah-ha moment while writing was exhilarating. I had not felt this way since I was 13 years old. I wanted more of this feeling, so I continue to journal and create poetry.

Writing down every idea: After three years of journaling, I became so addicted to venting that I was writing more and more often. I learned how to get all the negative thoughts out of my head onto paper and then turn the negative thoughts into positive ones. With my mindset getting stronger and my need to write becoming deeper, I decided to write whatever came to my head. Some of these ideas were made into songs and rough drafts for books that I intend to write. My spirit lifted every time I created something. My creation was a reflection of me and I found a profound meaning in my life. My dreams were planting seeds.

Start finding gigs: After being a counselor and nanny on and off for the past eight years, I decided that I was burnt out from both professions. I no longer had any more energy to change one more diaper or help one more person with their problems. It was time to start living the dream I always envision. I was worried because I felt that I was getting too old to change careers, but the desire was much stronger than logic. I made a resume geared toward writing and started sending it out. Then I joined several online sites and started the writing process. My niche was writing about relationships, which I would not have been that great at if I did not have my experience as a counselor. Things started falling into place and more jobs lined up.

Published: Seeing my first article published online was amazing. I never thought in a million years that this long lost dream would ever come to pass. It will probably be the cheesiest article I will ever write, but it is mine. I knew at that moment that this is just the being of a long fulfilled journey that is ahead of me. I felt deep down that I am a writer. I am a professional writer. I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn, but I am so thankful that I faced the fears in my life and decided to follow my dreams. My seeds are now starting to blossom and I could not be happier.”

Source: Dancing with Fear: Controlling Stress and Creating a Life Beyond Panic and Anxiety; Paul Foxman, Ph. D.

What do we think of Ashely Rose and her series? How motivating are they?

I was so grateful to get these from her and I wish I could get more people share posts with me on my platform just like Talasi from Braver than Before generously did a while ago. Come one come all this is a very guest friendly platform!

Learning to Face My Fears Part 3 – The Ashley Rose series!


anxiety-and-fear

I started exposing the roses of my dear friend Ashley Rose and if you want a recap of series 1 and 2 then click here: and here:

Today I expose part three and I am happy the way it turned out for her in this particular series that she not only overcame the fear of moving to ‘Atlanta’ but she ended up ‘liking and craving’ for Atlanta.

Read on, enjoy and leave a comment, share with us how you overcame any fear of yours, and of course do not hesitate to share the post with your friends…

Atlanta Braves Statute of Liberty!

Since I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder five years ago, I have made a conscious decision to face all of my fears. One of my biggest fears was moving to a big city. All the traffic, people, crime, and change were too much for me to face all at once. I was sure I would move to Atlanta and all this bad stuff would happen to me and I would come crawling back home to my small middle Georgia town. Surprisingly, I learned to adapt to my environment and thrive.

Visiting Atlanta: I knew that I wanted to move to Atlanta because I wanted to attend graduate school at Mercer University. While visiting, I was nervous driving in this big city with all the traffic and noise. Sitting in traffic can make you feel like you are so small in this big world. The only traffic I ever sat in was at the local Dairy Queen drive thru. Learning how to get from one place to the other was difficult because I relied on my GPS who sometimes has mood swings and works when she wants to. Sometimes I change her accent because I think she will sound nicer, but it doesn’t work. I decided to visit the college and ride through downtown on a Friday. It was not the visit I envisioned because I spent hours in traffic and stared at more tail lights than the actual city. But, I knew beyond all that I feared, Atlanta was calling my name.

Finding a place to call home: I finally got my acceptance letter from school, so now things were becoming a reality. I had to find my very own apartment. Looking for apartments in a city is much different from the country because you never know what you are going to stumble upon. Within the same price range, I could view a beautiful apartment in metro Atlanta, but a complete dump in the city area. So this task was going to be harder than I expected. After viewing several places, I decided to call a cute two-bedroom town home my residence. I went to the country, packed up my cats and belongings and headed to the big peach city.

Moving and adjusting: Deciding to keep my home where I grew up was a safety net decision; I guess I was not ready to completely let go of my small town. The moving process went well. I was able to buy a lot of new things and call the place my home. The first few months were really hard because I missed my family and friends. My anxiety kicked in high gear. According to the book “Dancing with Fear,” the author describes major life changes can cause a feeling of stress overload. I was feeling it and dealing with some panic attacks, but started counseling around this time to gain insight. I remember the first month I was there, I was so lonely because I didn’t know anyone and class did not start for another three weeks. I was bored out of mind, but eventually when school started, I was faced with more than I bargained for. Once I got a part time job and settled into my school schedule, I started to really enjoy my life changing decision.

Thriving: I ended up graduating school and staying in Atlanta for a total of three years. I moved to Los Angeles for a year and then ended back in Atlanta because I missed the east coast so much. If I had never made the decision to move to Atlanta, there would have been parts of the world I would have never been comfortable experiencing. I have decided that I am a true city girl. When I go back to my small town, I am now an outsider and don’t fit in well, but still make time to visit loved ones. Facing my fear of moving to a bigger city exceeded my wildest dreams and enabled me to even follow my dreams.

Source: Dancing with Fear: Controlling Stress and Creating a Life Beyond Panic and Anxiety; Paul Foxman, Ph. D.

Roll out the Red carpet!!!Guest Post: Escaping the Nightmare


escaping-the-nightmare

Hello World; I know beyond reasonable doubt that consistent and engagind actions yield succulent fruits. Join me ye all gentle readers and followers of mine as I roll out the red carpet for my first guest post of the season: Ms Talasi Guerra of the epic blog Braver than BeforeRead on and tell for yourselves if the title of her guest post and even that of her blog don’t resonate with each of us in one way or the other.

talasi-guerra
Her smile is so sweet, I just had to put her picture here for more effect as we read on

Have you ever had that nightmare where you are desperately trying to run away from something or someone, but no matter how hard you strain, you just can’t get your body to move fast enough? It’s like there are these invisible wires attached to all of your limbs, pulling you in the opposite direction as you exert all of your energy to move ahead one inch at a time. While you don’t know exactly what the danger is, you are certain that it is just behind you and ready to pounce at any moment! And in your mind, you are running away with all your might! But in reality, you are moving more slowly than a weary sloth.

I’ve had this dream many, many times in my life. It is such a frustrating and disconcerting dream to wake up from. And though I have never made the connection until this moment, I think that living with anxiety is almost exactly like living in this nightmare.

When you live with anxiety, it is like there is this mysterious danger constantly looming over you, coming at you from every direction. Fear kicks in and tells you that you must run in order to survive, but you simply can’t move. Sometimes it seems that the harder you try to get away, the more stubbornly your body refuses to cooperate.

And yet somehow, though you can barely move at all, the negligible progress you are making depletes almost all of your energy. It is all you can do to survive at this point, never mind trying to dodge the danger. But giving up is not an option either. You can’t stop trying to run or the threat will catch up to you and you will face certain destruction. So you are stuck in a state of constant torment—the battle between the danger you perceive and your inability to escape this approaching doom.

I’ve lived like this for most of my life. It is an exhausting existence. Always running; always trying to escape. But quite frankly, I am tired of running. I am tired of attempting escape when I don’t have the energy to move. I am tired of fighting with a peril that I can’t even identify.

So that’s it then. It’s time for me to turn around and face the danger. It’s time for me to look this thing in the eye and say, “No. I’m not going to run from you anymore.” And something tells me that when I do—when I finally stand up to it—it will lose a little bit of its power. Each time I take a stand, it will lose a little bit more, and a little bit more, until the tables finally turn and it becomes the one on the run. In that moment, I will be the one chasing it… until it is gone forever!

About Talasi

Talasi Guerra is the Director of Children and Family Ministries and Graphic Designer at First Baptist Church in Lloydminster, Canada. She loves to write, travel, and create. Follow Talasi on twitter @talasiguerra. We are welcome to her blog where she invite us to Journey with her through the day-to-day mess of anxiety and fear as she seek to cultivate courage each and every day. She is a fighter and survivor, and although she battled an eating disorder for 7 long damn years, it’s now 10 years she escaped from that nightmare – Amen!!!

Learning to Face My Fears Part 2!


This is part two of the series I started last friday and which I explained were those of my dear friend Ashley Rose

If you missed out on part one you could refresh here: When I am done with her series, I will share just one of mine, for now let’s read on, like, comment and share:

Facing fears can be a very difficult thing to do. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder four years ago. With having an anxiety disorder, I have dealt with being afraid of going over bridges. When I was 8 years old, I went on a school field trip to the beach. While the bus was crossing over a bridge, a huge boat went under the bridge causing the bridge to open up so the big boat could make its way through. At the time I was panicked because I did not exactly understand what was happening. My teacher saw that everyone was scared, but was delayed in explaining the situation. I still get scared when I cross over bridges, but I have been able to lessen the panic significantly.

Watched video of bridge: I forced myself to watch a video of someone driving over one of the longest bridges in the United States. Watching the video was not as bad as I expected. My stomach turned a little in the beginning of the video, but I finished feeling very strong about facing bridges.

Drove over a small bridge: Usually when I go to the beach, I am with a family member or a friend who will drive over the bridge for me or coax me through it. I decided to face my very own fear and drive over the bridge in Savannah, Georgia which leads to Tybee Island. The bridge is very high and it is the one that we went over when I was eight years old. I finally drove it all by myself and it was the scariest thing I could imagine at the time. I was so nervous and held my breath. I was really scared because there was a big boat getting close to passing under the bridge and I was scared the boat would come busting through the bridge and my car would fall into the Savannah River and I would be gone forever. Of course, everything went smoothly going over and coming back.

Drove over a huge bridge: So I moved to Long Beach, California for a year to face fears and get different scenery from my home state of Georgia. I had to go to San Pedro to see a client one day and I tried my best to avoid going over the super big green Vincent Thomas Bridge, but it was inevitable. It was terrifying because the people around me were driving so reckless like they were on the set of “2 Fast and 2 Furious.” They were too fast and I was too furious. The bridge felt like it was a hundred miles long and it never ended. There was a lot of traffic and the lights were stop and go. The bridge looks old so I was worried it was going to fall any minute, but somehow I made it back home safe and sound.

I have continued to drive over bridges, not because I want to, but because I want to get to other states and places. I continue to face my fears head on and pray the entire way. My fear of bridges may seem a bit irrational, but it is very real to me. Slowly and surely, I hope to continue on my journey and face the fears that have paralyzed me for too long.

 

Confronting my Fears 1: The Ashley Rose Series!


Hello world, the post I am resurrecting is three years old (Dec 2013). It definitely qualifies as a guest post, and so while waiting for submissions as I had gently begged for last week; let me start somewhere:

Introducing My Garden last month, I had said I would eventually expose the “roses” of my friends in my precious garden, especially if he or she had a Rose to his or her name.

My friend Ashley Rose,Ashley Rosegave me a series of “roses” to expose in my garden for this month of December and I am sure examining and appreciating them will surely help us in our wrap up of this year and our resolutions for a hopefully better new year.

Here below is the first of the “roses” in the Ashley Rose series:

” Facing fears can be a very difficult thing to do. Even though fear stands for false evidence appearing real, the fears can be more real than one can imagine. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder four years ago. Within this disorder, I have faced being completely terrified of snakes and other things such as bridges which I discuss in a following article. I first became frightened of snakes when I was 12 years old. I was walking through a small field when I saw a small black snake slither across my path. I quickly ran the other way and struggled with dreams of snakes for at least 15 years. Confronting this fear was really hard but very liberating.

Watch tapes of snakes: So I knew this was something that I wanted to tackle because I did not want this fear overtaking my life anymore. I was told by a counselor that “You create what you most fear.” So I knew from that moment that my biggest fear was being stuck in a jungle and an anaconda swallowing me whole. The likelihood of me ending up in a jungle in the middle of Georgia seems very unlikely, but you can never be too sure. So with all of that being said, I made the decision to watch tapes of snakes. At first, it gave me goose bumps all over and I thought I was going to die. But, I continued watching the snakes until I felt calm and at peace.

Limited Exposure to snakes: I went to the Atlanta Zoo and looked at the snakes in their enclosures. For the most part, the snakes looked like they were sleeping, but I did not stare at them for long. I was with my nephew who insisted on banging every snake enclosure; which caused me to panic. My worst fear was that the snake would become so enraged that it would bust out of the enclosure and attack everyone. Of course this psychotic nightmare that I made up in my head did not come true. The snakes were not even bothered. They seemed to be engaged with just resting.

Touching a snake: So I went to an animal show and tell presentation, which is similar to Jack Hanna when he goes on Maury; that is where I confronted my fear head on. There was this gorgeous yellow patterned python that was named Chiquita like the bananas. She was huge, but when I looked her in the eyes, I saw such a gentle creature. Of course I was leery of touching her head because I did not want her to even get a taste of me. But, I did touch her body and it was smooth and I was so in awe of her beauty. I asked myself why I am so scared of something so beautiful.

I would not say that I am 100% healed of my fear of snakes, but I no longer panic when I am faced with them in my presence. I think that facing fears can run so deep that it can takes years to fully overcome. I think my next goal would be to hold a snake, but I am not sure if I will ever build up the strength to. I am content and proud with my journey of facing my fear of snakes.”

I hope we liked it, look forward to series 2, let’s not hesitate to leave our comments and not fail to share…

My blog seeks guests; come one, come all hurray!!!


be-my-guest
Come one, come all  !

Wow, Hello World, I have been a guest on a few other platforms to be able to say without any doubt that there is indeed joy in sharing. I appreciate and hold in esteem those who shared or hosted me on their platforms, and I am impressed by my courage in responding to the offers to share something of my story on their platform, and answer the questions and comments therefrom.

It is all such experiences which moves this 38 year old me, to  via  my blog & platform, seek out some guests. Please come one, come all and share with us all. I remember and will even throwback 3 guests posts I had when I started blogging over 3 years ago; but the principle is simple. I want my guests to feel free to share anything within the confines of the different categories of my platform! That is, anything from ‘about you’, to inspiring and motivating stuffs, poetry, books and of course mental health. I sure reserve the right on when, why and what I publish, but you can surely guess that much of what a guest decides to share via my platform will be largely uncensored… so let your words flow…

You can even write mildly about religion provided you ain’t out to convert or condemn anyone; even a little ‘pissy’ politics will sieve through…

So, what are you and yours waiting for ? I can be contacted at all times…

Thank you
Gratitude all the way