Category Archives: Journey to Coaching

My Nest: My Bed: & I


my small room in Belgium
My Nest and Bed in Belgium

Hello World, now that I no longer live in Belgium, I feel comfortable sharing my nest and bed in the final months I spent there. And nope, I didn’t make that room up to take a picture, that’s how I love my nest and bed to be made up to the pin. Indeed, the day I wrote a plea for strength to leave the bed, I was lying on that bed you see there.

I loved that nest of mine so much, it was pretty much the first and only one I got to have all to myself in Belgium – I could finally make it as comfy and nesty as I like for the sake of my hollistic wellbeing. I am not only a very time conscious person, but I love organization, tidyness, cleanliness you name it… I think I already blogged about my small cleaning venture before travelling out. I shared some surfaces with two flat mates like the kitchen, loo and living room, and I didn’t end up minding they abandoned the cleaning to me when they discovered I loved doing that. At least I go to eat free Indian and Senegalese food every now and then.

And so, here is why I write about my nest and bed today. I want to advocate from personal experience that the state of your nest and bed often reflect the state of your mind. May being Mental health awareness month, I am raising awareness anyway comes to my mind.

I am almost addicted to a made up nest and bed that I’ll not step out of my room in the morning even to go for sports, without making up my bed and space. This space can be the tiny one I had out there, the other homes I lived in before there, the two bedroom home I currently live in with my musketeers, or even a palace I may end up in who knows right? and – those musketeers already know their mama by now – gladly two out of three like neatness and tidiness too. To me, where I retreat to and call my home, and where I lay me down my head to rest, I just like thinking of it throughout the day and seeing it so well kept and ready for my return – smelling so comfy with some candles and potpouri and all. I mean next to my bed or bedroom, two other favourite places in any nest I have are the Loo and the kitchen…

I know there are some people who don’t care about such trivalities which could instead add further pressure to a perfectionist gauge, I can only envy them their care free selves. I haven’t been able to try leaving my nest and bed un made – make a psychologist will explain why to me someday…

And you my gentle readers and followers, anyone ever had such thoughts about their nest and bed?

Take care of your mental health, you must not have a mental illness to feel concerned about your mental health. A good mental health means you can think straight about pretty much anything and so it is as serious as the sprain in your knee.

Officially launching my coaching business: Wish me well


The business is official…an enterprise has been jointly founded Amen

It is no secret that when you have a vision you have to nurture it and keep at it against all odds. And then when you feel it in you that it’s time to go pro, you take that leap of Faith your mentors and coach all tell you about.

I dreamt of a coaching business 3 years ago, and I started keeping record of my journey. Developing myself and learning along the way. Yes I have many passions, but this one is among the closest to my soul.

I also landed a great team, I thank my Lord… I take off solo next Sunday but thereafter my cofounder and I will share many more stages. Our website is still under construction but I know how baby steps are necessary to the formation of a man.

In honour therefore of May which is Mother’s month and Mental Health Advocacy month, I am setting off at very affordable cost of 1$ or less so that as many as can come get to listen to me, share with me, and network with one another.

I encourage you in your own visions, good night

Mother is Gold Gathering


Hello world, so this was me at the IMA gatherings for mothers yesterday to talk about singlemotherhood. It was awesome although the media guy didn’t come and so did many invitees. Due to security reasons ahead of today which is ‘national unity day’ in Cameroon_ the event was ordered to be over by 6.30 pm. In Africa and maybe elsewhere, when you say an event is due to start at 3 or 4 pm, well people start trickling in by 6 pm.  I thought I was running and I took my time because I had decided to do so henceforth, and yet I was still the first person there.

Anyway, in images for our collective eyes. My VIP guess was none other than Alain who also spoke twice to his sheer…

You can tell it is us by our smiles lol

A selfie just before the event started

Happy weekend to us all

Mother…


Mother

No one can take your place oh  mother

If you be mad the child still hopes

Yet you may not be conscious about that and it hurts

Nevertheless we all think of you our mothers

Most of us mothers know what is unconditional love

We felt it right from within the womb

Hence we may find it hard to think the baby ain’t ours forever

The seasons change, the years go by

That baby could become a mother too

If you mother never let her be, never taught her to love yet let go, ain’t that an unhealthy mental cycle in place?

Oh mother, you who so give your all

To love them all or almost

Relationships sometimes so complex

Challenging and yet nurturing

Dread and dare and darling all dished out

Is that how it works for all? Could that be nature’s doing?

I wish there were a mother’s manual but I think flowing from the heart is best… No matter how mixed the signals, mother is all we have, motherhood ain’t never an easy hood

 

Love your mothers nothing withstanding, it ain’t easy for neither them nor us – above all take care of your mental health – I attend the IMA Gold gathering with my first son and I am super excited he’ll be seeing me on stage for the first time

Enjoying Me My Mental Health Advocacy


 

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My contributions on pages 20-21

Hello world, it’s 18 days already into this month which is Mental Health Advocacy Month, and am enjoying my efforts at raising awareness.

I mean, in addition to writing and networking for such a ‘complex’ subject which I am passionately passionate about (oh yes I am), I have had the honour of guest blogging and now am even published in a magazine oh wow.

Two full pages to write all I wanted on the topic

 

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And it could not have landes on a better date. Today I am not only working from home because am tired of commuting into town with all that ‘crazy traffic’, but I also had to deal with 2 ‘mini’ stressors this morning.

Let me sit back and leisurely read this magazine. LEGIDEON is published by some dynamic sons and daughters of my native land in the diaspora;  and it is Succulently labelled “A Washington DC Based News Magazine” – you can log in and read online.

Keep doing what you do and enjoy yourself in the process… All the best to us all – take care of your mental health

Alone time to better position yourself…


Alone time 1

Hello world, this is a short post but I hope the title and graphics tell us it not one to be taken lightly. I will as usual use a personal incident to illucidate why I so value alone time.

One day a few weeks ago I returned home from seeing off a friend and there was smoke in the kitchen. It later on turned out my last son Gaby had turned the burner on and gone off to take a shower and then forgotten about what was on the stove. David had put some rice to warm us as I was leaving, and after he turned it off, Gaby taught he hadn’t done done a good heat up. When I came back, already stressed from some incident during the day, I was so angry I was shaking… all the what ifs were running wild in my head… I instinctly gave David a slap and just realized that wasn’t the best approach… I had tears in my eyes and the boy was apparently so shocked he burst into tears too… I quickly went and locked myself in my room and put some soothing music… I stayed in there for like 45 mins and although they all came knocking on the door, I had to calm down completely before letting them in. We talked, made peace and I was so sorry. I was however glad I locked myself up and got that alone time…

alone-time 2

We need alone time especially to care for ourselves, our mental health, take perpective etc. I call them My Me Moments and used to plan them and structure them and all… but now, even when I wake up and have some precious 15 minutes before the boys barge in, am grateful…I take even blogging breaks when I need to and I don’t appologize for saying No I can’t go with someone because I’ll rather stay by myself home… Life can be so hectic, these alone times are so needed to better position oneself

Alone time 3

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Precious alone time in on the beach Dakar after sports

And you gentle readers and followers, any thoughts on alone time?

Am invited to talk on Single motherhood by Amy Banda on her IMA get togethers


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Hello World, the first time I was invited on the IMA Series (Inspiring moments with Amy), I didn’t feel as excited as I do now. Actually, a few days ago (May 8th) while still in Dakar which I so dared, I received the following from Amy:

” Dear Marie,

I trust this mail reaches you in good health.

How have you been? I trust GOD all is well.

I am inviting you to be a panelist on the IMA GOLD monthly’s second panel this May 19, 2017on ‘Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Mother’s Guide’ which seeks to illustrate reasons why single motherhood is prevalent at such times, deliberate on strategies of single mothers’ success to bring up the children in an upright manner and  pinpoint the challenges single mothers face daily to raise their kids. Knowing you are an all round contributor to peace, human rights and coaching’

This topic seeks to illustrate the worth of the mother at home, and her multi tasking abilities to do a lot at a blow. It will be great having you share your enriching experience to help single mothers benefit from your testimonies.The ‘Making Mothers Matter’ enriching encounter will address single mother hood issues, the 21st century mother and the ever evolving technological trends which keep her away from her motherly duties. Why recognize a mother talks with principal aim to enrich the relationship between parents and their children. “

Why the excitement?

  1. Why – simply because I am a very proud single mother period!!! I am aware of the challenges, I have faced quiet many but I wouldn’t rush this stage of my life nor wish it to pass any fast. I am making the best lemonade I can and already reaping profits from this business – the joys are oh so joyful;
  2. I will inspire many I know who are still so overwhelmed and even ashamed of their situation in life… even those who ‘choose’ single motherhood deliberately, still deal with some melancholy and all which in my opinion isn’t healthy to one’s mental health at all – like many other things we do in life, if we don’t have it figured out or on check in our minds, the output can be shaggy or even lead to an outright meltdown;
  3. I love coaching on an audience scale instead of doing one on one. When I do the one on one, I get carried away too much into my client’s story, and well I spend more time with just one person instead of talking to many for the same time and then answering questions from the audience;
  4. To top it up, am very excited at seeing my dear Amy’s projects flourish. She is so talented and has so many ideas and projects. It is my honour to help in whatever way I can and she rightly considers me one of her big fans. I have been known to motivate her even on her sick bed;

What is there to be proud about single motherhood?

  1. Single mother is a mother like every other mother, but a mother who does it singlehandedly. Some single mums have their families to help them like Obama’s mother had, while others don’t. Doing such a job for me deserves pride and not prejudice;
  2. The fact that inspite of all the odds, you get to deal with the shame, guilt, pity, loneliness, and many more challenges to be this single mother each new day for as long as it lasts, is a feat to be proud of;
  3. By agreeing to go on that platform, I want to help the single mothers present and those watching from their homes to heal & deal:deal & heal

I will sure keep us all posted how this goes, it’ll sure be a boost to my mental health and my coaching journey.

Here is a picture film of the Pink edition in March on Female Entrepreneurship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSX6RNoP6Eg&t=327s (My face is at 6.40-6.42) lol

Have a nice week us all and happy mid month

Nice Lemon: For toxic situations & Relationships


lemon
Forget about its acidity
Hello World, May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I am dedicated to doing daily (weekdays) posts all having a relation to mental health. Today, I want to share some tips to helping detox from toxic situations and relationships which can harm our mental health. I picked them up from one of the many books I have read, one day I will find that book again and do a review – If I can recall it is about boderline personality people and how to cope: Hope it helps
NICE
N stands for: No. Practice saying it. And remember that you don’t need to explain why the answer is no.
I stands for: I. Express how you feel: “I feel …”; “I think …”; “I know …”
C stands for: Clear commitments and agreements. Strive for clarity when you communicate your expectations and commitments.
E stands for: Enough! Don’t hesitate to denounce abusive behaviour.
LEMON
L stands for: Leave the room or the situation.
E stands for: Emotional distance. Reduce the amount of personal information you share. Limit the topics of conversation.
M stands for: Move out of the house, or away from the area.
O stands for: On your terms. Visits and other interactions are your prerogative.
N stands for: Not answering, or selectively answering, calls, letters, e-mail.
Have a nice weekend us all: Remember you can make the best lemonade with all nice lemon you find

How do you care?


how do you care

How do you care for yourself?

Do you care to spend some time with you?

Do you care to find out what’s up with you?

Do you care to try to care more for you?

And you, how do you care for me?

Do you care to listen to me?

Do you care to talk with me?

Do you care to show some empathy?

Do you care even for a little sympathy?

And you, yes you, how do you care?

About that child so sick in his mind

Their actions all flag read

They try to reach out to cry out

Even adults are not spared

Cause we all aren’t the same, some minds are healthier than other

So how would you care?

When a patient walks into your door?

When an e-mail comes into your inbox?

When you phone rings at odd hours?

When maybe the brave track you down the street?

Would you call the cops?

Or maybe the ambulance?

Prescribe more pills and send them off?

It’s good to know how you’d care

It makes all the difference how you care

The care you show the care you get elsewhere

I have tried and it works

And let’s be real: it could be anyone

Feeling the knack anyday

And so please all: think about how you care

How you care about you and others

Dare Dakar: Dare Life (An area girl in Dakar)


Infront of my poster, well others hadn’t put up theirs yet – trust me to be on time

I am back from 5 days in Dakar, where I was attending the 3rd African Epilepsy Conference –  I am so tired. I have equally been nominated to lead the national chapter of the IBE and so you can imagine.

This post was actually started while still in Dakar just so I don’t have much writing to do on my return.

Yes: I have Dared Dakar and I am more armoured to Dare Life or better put Dare the business of Living. Before I proceed, I want to say like all dynamic business men, I want to make a huge profit out of this business and invest in society starting with my family.

Daring Dakar Day 1 -3

I have to greatly summarize so as not to write this post in 3 parts.

Day one (Thursday 4/05/17) was literraly spent flying over Africa and doing Airport hopping. There are no direct flights to Senegal from my country; so –  I left my home at 6 am and finally checked into my hotel in Dakar at 10 pm thanks to the cab driver who knows no where and no French… The national language in Senegal is Wolof …

Day 2-3 (Fri&Sat 5&6/05/17)

That block is called the Confucius Language Centre – donated by the heavily present chinese

I start off very tired, curiously still jet lagged although the sports I get to do from 4-5 am on Saturday morning boost me up plenty. Friday morning was really tough and some emotionally taxing situation nearly nailed me down. I am so grateful for my support network and coping strategies. I learn a lot though and yes I make so many contacts. Some area people (from the doorman via the receptionost to the room cleaner etc these are my best); a student and some VIPs.

 The conference is at the famous Cheikh Anta Diop University by the Ocean and my my my…  I meet Falima and we click. She is a 3rd year student and in love with Cameroon ha – some things we think are despicable are other peoples dream… And you could refresh about my heroine Fati here, Couma on the right is her kid sister now my friend too ofcourse

On that friday evening, we have the official opening ceremony followed by a cocktail. I am very pleased to make friends with Ella & Lola

I keep stocking up on chicken to feed my friends

Day 4&5 (Sun&Mon 7&8/05/17)

I sleep much better and I go for sports at 5 am. Baam I run into a Petit gang arguing over their booty but I refuse to let fear take me back. I walk right through them with a dare me stare like a commando. It tells them, am an area girl minding my business, mind yours. One of them whistles at me “yowa (yes in their dialect) mama” but I dont smile back. I instead make the ‘buddy fist gesture’ and continue my way.

I zoom through the morning and soon it is closing ceremony. There is a planned city excursion with a restaurant reserved for those who opt. It ain’t free and nope am done with those 3/4 star stuffed scenes. I also have to be economical so I chart my way to Fati their family home. Going to such areas makes you know life indeed has several shades. Talk of bumpy ride…

To get there you just keep going right through the sea lol. The VIP friend who brought me here told me in all their life they’ve never been to this area nor where I am lodging…

It was already past 3 pm and I was scared lunch will be over; but nope just in time… See me enjoy famous Senegalese rice the Senegalese authentic way …

On my way back to the hotel I dare a scarpie and enjoy 2 hour plus of cheap sightseeing and listening to Wolof being rolled off from all angles. These people greet each other for at least 7 minutes. How romantic? Am loving it and today being a Sunday there aren’t that too many passengers… Wrong it pick as it goes, hop out as you wish… I sit, stand up for a grandma, sit again elsewhere when someone leaves, stand up again for a pregnant woman and when next I mange to squeeze somewhere I dare not look up again who comes in …and, I still treck for like 15 mins because the final bus stop is no where close to the hotel…

On Monday I quickly do sports and then check out of the idealistic hotel by the beach, to the area where I can drink chai by the road side. I can count on Coumba to go shopping for souvenir gifts. Here is the address Coumba gave me, sorry it is in French so use google translate maybe it’ll give you a more precise address:

“Bjr marie tu diras au chauffeur que tu vas au golf rond point marché jeudi terminus 38 à la cité des enseignants …”

Look my people, when a Senegalese tells you it ain’t far, hail a cab immediately. When they say they are just stopping by to greet, cancel other appointments! Simple

And I did it, dared dakar again one last time, dared to go to the infamous Goree Island. How could I come to Dakar and not visit that island? The emotions you leave that island with – am speechless

Tuesday 9/05/17

Flying until finally landing and getting back home in one Peace/Piece – Amen

I hope I have been able to visually take you to Dakar and back, inspiring and motivating you to Dare Life and Dare Yourself

Have a great midweek (as for me I am spending half of this day in bed – Ineed to chill out before I crash) leaving you with this short clip of someone excited at watching the waves

Mind your mental health (Mental illness or not)

Thank you so much