Category Archives: Marie’s Garden

Come on Stage 4: When I think of the Prize, I am very prepared to pay the Price


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My spiritual journey reached its climax in stage three. Stage four may seem the longest to fast from food in a stretch ie 28 days, but I am very good to go. I have done two 30 days stretches before and am already familiar with that arm of fasting. Actually through out this journey started March 1st, of all things am fasting from, food is the last on my mind. I am proud of how fasting from all the other 6 vip things has been going.

Some small tips:

 

  1. Keep busy, live your life, and keep a cheerful/real demeanour even with a swollen healing eye – so grateful it ain’t a swollen spirit or soul lol;
  2. If you know your why, and then the how plus when, why bother answering the what? You can save that energy cause your resilience will speak for itself lol
  3.  When you break your fast from food each evening, hydrate yourself as much as possible and eat the most balanced next to natural food you can (this has proved a little more challenging for me in this stage though, my belly seems to have shrunk and the appetite taken a hit – but am hanging in and doing my best) ; and while at vip self-care, brush your teeth often and use mouth wash + of course shower a time or two more each day – it all feels so refreshing…

 

I am busy with my internship as a therapist and my studies in psychology (just finished an online diploma course), add this up with single motherhood, my writings plus all the reading and other professional occupations, and you can tell I sometimes struggle to keep track of time lol…indeed am so grateful to the universe… I had the most thrilling first day at the psychiatry unit, starting off by doing something I just so love – cleaning so we could settle down quick and start receiving patients lol

 

I had nine good days home alone this Easter – how grateful could I be?

One other big big bonus from my spiritual journey so far,  is that I have a much clearer and concise picture of my 3 but interconnected career paths…

Thank you all who have been wishing me well all along, by grace in 28 days, and these will fly by pretty soon…

the sports is on esp on day 35
Photo taken on day 35, full workout to celebrate 50% mark which happened to be day 14 of stage three – nicknamed our Valentine’s Day (my God & I)

 

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Sharing notes from Soul Prints: Your Path to Fulfillment by Marc Gafni


Soul PrintPre script: This is a close to 1500 word post, you may want to read it in parts, but trust me it is worth the read. I read this book almost a year ago at Darling Donna’s, and kept holding back from sharing my notes until now  – I don’t also feel like sharing it in parts. fortunately this is the one but last post am sharing for the next 28 days

Your soul print is your spiritual signature. The people and places touched by your soul are imprinted with your mark, with your essence. Everywhere you walk in the world, you leave behind your beautiful, valuable, matchless print of your soul ( same concept as finger print).

Living our soul print can bring us profound connection to ourselves, to others and to God. People will walk with you- the more defined the path of your soul.

Finding your soul print part is the ultimate way to transcend loneliness and estrangement from yourself, others and God.

  1. Introduction to soul print
  2. definition and nature of soul print consciousness
  3. soul print calls – i.e soul’s vocation and how you can fulfill it- the ability to respond to the unique call of our soul is essential in achieving joy and fulfillment in the world.
  4. Soul print story – the magic that comes from living your own authentic, unique and sacred autobiography. Once you live your own story, you will no longer feel the desperate need to live in someone else’s and that the source of all jealousy that causes so much unhappiness in our lives.

Through telling, reclaiming and renewing your soul print story, you attract to yourself resources that help you live your story in the world.

Every human being is infinitely unique, dignified and valuable.

“The struggle with the mistakes of my past has only deepened my knowledge of and faith in God as well as in myself.”

We can swing our lanterns but for them to illuminate our way they must be lit.

The more our soul print connects, the sharper our signatures and the more sustained and expansive our souls will be.

The gift of loneliness

Magically, just by the act of naming, we are able to dispel some of the darkness in our lives, we have for long denied. Then we can move towards the light. What drives us in this world is our attempt to move from our loneliness to a place of relationship, connection, and loving; after all is said and done, after all our  self realization and accomplishment, our self-esteem and degrees, our meaning making and our financial success, we still feel lonely. Jung said one does not become enlighten by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious. There are different types of lonely

  1. lonely even in a big party
  2. lonely though married
  3. lonely as a single with no partner
  4. lonely because you feel irrelevant insignificant…

and Jung asserts that loneliness for him is the inability to share the essence of who I am my soul print with another. Soul prints give evidence to our individual beauty. Your beauty includes everything that is you. Your weaknesses, your strengths, your pathologies and your dreams. Joyous is one who believes that he has a unique destiny a soul print. To believe is not to believe that ‘it’ is true, but that ‘i’ am true. When you live your soul print you experience your truth and are thus freed from the need to affirm your truth by believing in an external set of dogmas. When you are doing an activity which makes all the difference in the world.

* Be careful of labels and letters

When we hold on to labels and self definitions, we refuse to treat ourselves as full humans with infinite potentials.

When we give them to other people, or types of people, we estrange ourselves from other people’s soul print. Labels are the arc enemy of soul prints.  Relying on them is like trying to take someone’s finger print when he is wearing a band aid. Labels control and suffocate the soul instead of nurturing the soul print.

*Five positive I can statements vs five negative I can’t statements

How many did you hear from someone?

* Why are you lonely

  1. You have a reception problem, you can’t find another who will receive your soul print;
  2. you have a perception problem, you don’t perceive yourself as unique or believe you have a soul print. Your soul print remains unrecognised even and especially by yourself;
  3.  You have a transmission problem, you have someone to receive that soul print  you perfectly perceive but you haven’t learnt to communicate it to this person.

* Three ways we can transcend our profound loneliness through the work our soul prints call us to

  1. Receiving the soul print of others
  2. Believing or perceiving our soul prints
  3. Communicating our soul prints to others.

RECEIVE IN GRATITUDE AWE AND LOVE

Soul print consciousness invites each of us in our closest relation, to receive our loved ones as they are and not only as we might want them to be. If someone is able to receive your adult self but can’t receive your child self, then you will remain lonely for your soul print has not been received;

* FIRST OWN YOUR LONELINESS

To be intimate with yourself is to know your uniqueness and to be intimate with another is to share your uniqueness. We can bring God flowers. Spontaneous and premeditated acts of kindness, little and large acts of kindness and caring, bring divinity to life in the details. The greatest gift you can give to a significant order is to receive an act of love- and deep inside us, we know that a person who doesn’t need anyone else is actually less developed, less perfect and less powerful than a person who has needs and who can acknowledge those needs.

The more intricate the pattern of your soul print, the more difficult it is for it to be understood and received by others. The deeper, the more nuanced your experience, the fewer people you can share it with, that is the risk of depth. Yet when a profound soul print sharing thus happen it is all the more powerful and gorgeous.

*TO RECEIVE ANOTHER’S SOUL PRINT YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN FIRST

Soul print hints can be sudden and cataclysmic or slow and subtle. Slow and subtle soul print hints are live events, places and images that happen over and over. They are patterns in life that points you in a particular direction e.g running into the same person often, same dynamic at work, same types of relationships, dreams, movies, songs, plays, places, longings, illnesses etc. which we occur over extended or repeated number of time. And may have underlined teams, coded messages, or may be thinly veiled warnings or guide posts along your path. What calls you? Beyond our important tights with any important community, we must all create and undertake our own spiritual journey. It is the faith of our unique life/ calling like that of no other.

* To be called is to have a message to deliver; a song to sing, an instrument to play, we are messengers each with that piece of the message and we are that piece of the message to.

* You can be called to work in a specific area in your personal growth, it must not be a public call or affair to the extent where we forget that our own growth, our own learning and the healing of our particular soul may well be our purpose in the world. Every soul has its own lessons to learn, its own healing to undergo and its own wisdom to share. To identify your special place of healing and learning must be the most important part of learning your call.

* We need to create our own opportunities, open our own portals to possibilities and transformation. Once we open the door, even a crack, the universe may open all gates for us. The first step in the soul print test needs to be our own.

Every moment in time, every encounter with a face, is a soul print invitation, we were born to accept those invitations. Every person we meet in a significant meeting possesses a piece of our story. Some people may have a sentence, others a missing word, while still others may hold a paragraph or even a whole chapter. Significant meetings involves soul print encounters, of course the ultimate soul print encounter is with your significant other in life your soul print partner. The person you choose should be the person who can return to you a significant piece of your story which you have lost, disconnected from or ever imagined you could possibly have. Same conversely, a soul print encounter is in no sense limited to romantic partners nor has soul print encounters limited to long term connections within our fixed pattern of being. If you can understand your life as the process of unfolding your soul print then the passage of time can bring great joy to you as well. You will know what to do, the key is to do something. The soul print is in the details.

There is a more effective alternative to skinning a child alive & other musings


 

This is Miguel, the son of Aime mon amour, the one she used to skin alive until even I who doesn’t hear well will hear and cry some. She has given me permission to share her story if only someone could be inspired and motivated.

Don’t ask me what Miguel used to do to warrant those skinnings. One day she honestly admitted to me it was his dad she was lashing out at, through the poor child’s skin?

Anyway, I started working with Aime, helping her heal. I also took Miguel under my wings, and nurtured him to stop being so scared of his mother and stop behaving as difficult as she would often complain he did.

On the 28th of March recently, she came once again as agreed, to tell me “that your son again doesn’t want to go to school”! I was working from home gladly, and told her to send him to me once he woke up finally. The first time she woke him up, he had made such a tantrum and his dad who was still home had ordered her to leave him alone. Easter break was just around the corner and he is in nursery two for crying out loud.

She did as I asked, and when he came, I decided to first of do any activity with him before talking with him. From my suggestions, he chose writing and drawing. You can see for yourself how well he writes and draws.

Then we sat down to have a chat. I have walked him to school before and had actually noticed a reticence to go into school although he was happy I walked him there on one of those days you know.

It was then he opened up and told me why he didn’t want to go. His teacher beat him, because he wrote for others, who will beat him if he didn’t. Imagine what this small child is dealing with and all along we didn’t know and he was getting skinned sometimes before he even went to the school where he was sure of getting some more. He had just figured out it was better to get only one skinning and not two or three.

Aime was so relieved when I spoke with her, and she promised to find time and go see his teacher. No more energy to waste, no more traumatizing a child further and etc.

This doesn’t mean each tantrum will have a happy ending, but there are many alternatives to skinny I tell you.

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And so last March 23rd when David who sometimes still has a tantrum or the other ( he inherited his dad’s anger and used to throw himself as a child only I could help him out – once at my dad’s he had an episode my dad had to stand behind me lol), came to my room with a litany of issues and a very red face.

I did my best, calmed him down and later asked him if drawing could help both of us further. He accepted and there in less than 15 mins drew that image which was on my PJ.David's inspiration I was so proud of him, he was much calmer, and made it to school on time. No negative energy dispensed, sadly unlike another neighbour this time a man, who skins his 5 year old son until I had to go knock at his gate on that same March 28th.

I hear this man skins that boy until telling him he’ll kill him. Oh my goodness. That little boy committed the crime of going out that day and coming into my own home. I was sitting outside studying and playing with all my many little angel friends, and sadly for him his dad showed up just then. His dad is the one with the motor bike parked in my own home given he has no yard so to speak. We barely greet each other, and I remember his wife coming to ask me when they just moved in to tell Gaby to stop going there to play and scatter stuffs. I saw a frightened woman (I was once one so I can tell), but I couldn’t ask – better mind my business right? Anyway, I told this dad I was going to have to call the police on him if he beat his son again like that – and although he ordered me out and banged his gate, he stopped the skinning at least for that day.

How I wish this rubbish of skinning children alive could stop, as we parents explore more and more alternatives to understanding them kids, relating with them, and getting them understand us too…why have them children only to skin them alive?

Be inspired and motivated someone

What do you want? This may sometimes proceed from what you don’t want


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It’s a sign of maturity for me to know what I want and what I don’t want

I remember when as a hyper active kid ( I guess I could very well qualify for what will be categorized and drugged today as an ADHD kid), my exasperated mother will exclaim: You this child what do you want? Several years have passed and I am 39 years today and recently got a satisfactory answer for this question.

You see, the answer didn’t just pop up like that, I was reflecting on my life and all the the things I have been doing and what I like most about the woman of faith and conviction I am becoming. I then stopped just this past March around the 26th, and I asked myself what I didn’t want to be made of it all.  The way the question popped up actually took me aback. Why should I bother what is made of my life by someone but me? But the reality is that once a public person, regardless of the category, quality or renown, your life is subject to all sorts of interpretation and conclusions.

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It may thus indeed be a very apt time to define my life specifically by what I don’t want – hence end up with what I want.

I don’t want to be accepted!!! I want to be respected!!!

There you go and that is what I got from deep within. And I turned this over, meditated and contemplated, and then came to the conclusion that was it. I didn’t write the prayer/bible verse inviting us not to conform ourselves to the standards of this world… (easy thing to do or not is not the subject of this post), but I have always love that prayer and consoled myself with that when told I was unconventional – this has come to stick as I adopted and embraced same and go by that among other tags.

And seriously, if am I not accepted or respected, I don’t care, what matters to me is self-acceptance and self-respect. It is the person’s business if they want to take me or treat/relate with me any way – all I can control is my attitude to their actions or reactions, and I have chosen to go an extra mile by stating clearly what I want/what I don’t want.

Now, is this daring? Is this dashing? Is this doable? I don’t know, I just share some of my musings to inspire and motivate, and why not to simplify myself further

 

What is my Secret or rather Style???


What is my style (2)
I AM NOT DISTRACTED BY THAT NAGGING SWOLLEN HEALING EYE, SO PLEASE DON’T BE (Photo taken 30.03.18)

 

I haven’t been out rightly asked this question – at least not yet, in as much as my spiritual journey cum purification is concerned. Indeed, nothing intriguing to find out about it all if fasting for 70 days (especially from food lol) were not involved in any way. When I received the message from within that I was to embark on this journey (barely two or so weeks before the due date), and that one of the highlights will be a 70 day fast broken down into 4 stages with a 3 days break between each stage, I couldn’t give up and laugh at my own inner voice. Nope, that’s not me – I am the type obviously who thinks of solutions and not focus or dwell on the situation, scenario or outlook. When you have what you yourself qualify as a stubborn but passionate faith, words like ‘impossible’ don’t faze you – they fuel you. I loved the idea of a spiritual journey, even if only to get me further grounded in my life and aware of who I am and what my purpose in life is, then I was all in. How to go about this journey whose road map I happen not to have, is the whole thrill.

I am proud of the journey so far. It’s candidly been so rewarding even if I may look, be or feel foolish sometime. It actually seems I have a secret right?  I don’t want to call it a secret but a style lol. You know a style like Usain Bolt’s when he runs that fast and shoots his hands in the direction of…like gimmie more…

What has been my style since March 1st 2018 when I started out on this thrilling but complex journey?

  1. I sought to understand what a journey like that could demand and how good in shape I was for one. It doesn’t matter how long this period lasted, it matters how well it lasts. For me it went so well. Three days into this mind and soul exercise, I was ready for the journey. I had three more days to actually start warming up, explaining to my sons (and of course my GA) what was going to go on for the next 70 and more days with me, writing different stuffs down and plans, including a grand celebration plan for give or take May 20th;
  2. Talking about plans, I knew I will be spending some waking hours without food or water, and will have to replenish for two good hours when I broke the food fast daily at 6 pm. Given my own self-imposed rule not to eat after 8 pm except in very special circumstances, this means I have only two hours to drink at least 1.5 l of water and eat plenty of nourishing stuffs (not any easy sometimes, and I battle). If am still around and looking this way, then it means am trying my best;
  3. Trying my best also means trying not to focus at all on what if any am missing on this journey, but look forward or even dream about all am gaining and going to get once am done. This approach has kept me going, even in the midst of great endurance, mental and physical challenges including big objections, frustrations and distractions, including a nagging swollen but healing eye;
  4. I am gratefully seeing the swollen eye find its way out (even if it may seem not so evident lol), and lots of other stuffs I am fasting from don’t even mill around my mind -I could even sit through an Easter meal and not bother. I hardly think of food until 6pm or more, I don’t have attack thoughts and try very hard not to entertain any which strays. I am quick to be compassionate and forgiving towards myself and others who visit in any form with objections, frustrations and distractions;
  5. Last but not the least, talking about others, I decided because I know from precedence; that I was not going to care very much about who thought, felt or did what in relation to my spiritual journey and chosen path (s). So far so good. Some have seemingly understood my style and settled down in their corners, while others are almost out of energy trying to ‘fight’ me or ‘get’ my attention. Given that I have assumed total personal responsibility and accountability for this spiritual journey, I share here because that is in line with my purpose, but I am very serene and nearly not discerning about any unsolicited advice I may get. And all of that is my style for my spiritual journey…

Be inspired and motivated any or everyone

It ain’t all glamour: Be prepared to be or feel foolish and lonely big time…


Fasting and day 1
Day 1 01/03/18 Recap of vision, goal and strategy

PRE-SCRIPT: Scheduling this post for 6.05 pm once I break my fast, contrary to midnight as in the first two stages, is a testament to how much I missed blogging

It is not like I expected it to be all rosy this spiritual journey; no I didn’t expect any palms on my my path to say it plain. After all and above all, I am doing this all alone, under no direction, supervision or approval – seeking or waiting for no validation, counting not even on my own small allowance but on the Lord’s Grace and Strength. I mean, it will take some real heart to hear someone talk all this and not feel, think or even outright say they are ‘foolish’! – Just listen to, watch or outright ask Jim Carrey

Am I ‘foolish’ then? Do I feel ‘foolish’? Am I lonely?

I have been told I am ‘foolish’. ‘foolish’ to put so much on hold, have nothing saved up for real, and then ‘claim to be embarking’ on such a weird and seemingly ‘self-absorbed’ journey – call it spiritual or purification – it makes no logical or coherent sense especially with a swollen eye seemingly tagging you along as you journey on! Truth be told; it indeed makes no sense even to me – and yes to some extent I may be ‘foolish’.

As for lonely – oh big time. I don’t mind it but it still sucks some. Then lonely without trollers is much better than my current type of lonely. Let me stop at this. But am ok with being lonely, I own and appreciate and embrace it and choose that over being accepted and found ‘conventional’.

What else if not stubborn and hopelessly blind faith can get me ready, steady and set for a journey I know not the destination nor have a concrete nor convincing plan? I mean, when I was asked what was the plan, and I didn’t even have anything to babel with and still don’t – ah poor me right? I really had and still have none to provide or illustrate period! How ‘foolish’of you was the chorus. If I were to keep track of the number of times I have heard the word ‘foolish’ since I started (even just a day or so ago), ha I should be long way gone by now !

Is this a pattern for those who decide to set themselves aside like Peace Pilgrim; and ‘Trust’ their Higher Power, Inner Voice, God, or Who/Whatever you call Him/Her/Them? Again, Just listen to, watch or outright ask Jim Carrey (more current than Peace Pilgrim)

This apparent ‘foolishness ‘even makes it and me seem and look awkward and ridiculously hopeless. I have been brought down my knees not because I was hungry, but because I didn’t quiet know where the next meal will come from to feed my sons- take this literally…

I have read and now affirm, that when You say Yes Lord I am Ready, be prepared to Watch it all near go away until you become a near veteran beggar and Trust on Him and Him only. If you are into business, it starts to trickle out moment by slow moment. If into working with clients and co, the appointments, numbers and all may take a big toll downwards…

A lot seems to not go right (in this illusive world), and it could seem all is linked to your ‘irrational and illogical’ choice to embark on the journey you have embarked on.

When I once read that God loves our undivided attention, I though that was just a reality for nuns, monks and other religious – not for an ordinary woman like myself. I would be lying to say I haven’t been conflicted some throughout this journey whose third stage just ended. Will share more about these in due time.

I have felt foolish as a result, foolish of my persistence and perseverance with a passion I  discovered. The determination, discipline and dedication I am putting in, can make even a 3 year old wonder if the prize will be a Gold Trophy. Who knows for real, I am prepared to keep being and feeling foolish if that is the price to pay for such faith, no matter how ‘foolish’ it may all seem and sound.

That faith which is so beautifully described in the Bible as among others: ‘evidence in things not seen … in things hoped for…’ And I don’t need my eyes to see what I will get if I persevere to the end – nope, sorry, yes I may be foolish if I can’t list them and point them all out to you, that my faith thing once more… That hope fuels me on!

It was a very peaceful 21 days of spiritual journey and fasting from all the stuffs am fasting from, and to cape it, while starting and staying on a very fulfilling once in a life time internship at the lone psychiatric unit of our main public hospital here in Douala.

Food being one of the stuffs am fasting from, is the least of my preoccupation. I dealt with food issues midway into stage two. Arriving at a point where I don’t react to smells nor get upset if others are eating or cooking some nice or foul smelling stuff by me. I can cook all day and be indifferent to food even after the hour to stop fasting has long past. This to me is self discipline and mastery. When I break my fast, I nourish my body just as well – I have even battled with me to eat during this stage argh.

Even just a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed I could have such faith to embark on such a journey, and stand it all so strong.

I AM TRULY GRATEFUL FOR THE AMAZING GRACE, AND FOR ALL THE ANGELS ON MY PATH.

Dear gentle readers and followers, be oh so positively inspired and motivated to strive on in faith in whichever area of your life you may need to work on. Be mindful of your universe as much as possible, be open to the possibility of several angels on your own path too, you may need to be more prudent than myself, that way you are not – or do not feel outright ‘foolish’.

Grateful for a 3 days break to share some with you all before my fourth and final stage…

 

Set for Stage 3 of my spiritual cum purification journey


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Picture taken eve of stage one when swollen eye just started

 

ACIM (A Course in Miracles) Notes 06-02-18

Revelations are intensely personal and cannot be meaningfully translated. Any attempt to describe it in words is impossible. Revelation induces only experience. Miracles are more useful now because of their interpersonal nature. In this phase of learning working miracles is important because freedom from fear cannot be thrust upon you. Revelation is literally unspeakable because it is an experience of unspeakable love.

Oga J (my nickname for James Allen)  Feb 23-18

He who does not desert his principles when threatened with the loss of every early thing, even to the loss of reputation and life, is the man of power, is the man whose every word endures, is the man of power, is the man whose every word endures, is the man whom the after-world honours, revers and worships.

Dear all, with the above 2 notes, I introduce the 3rd stage of my spiritual and purification journey. I am all set and good to go for 21 days. I know on whose strength and love I count. My God is my salvation, the source of all the Amazing Grace in my life. He couldn’t choose me if He didn’t know me and find me able especially now, not before or after.

Life went on
Spiritual Journey don’t mean I don’t step out some – honouring a dinner invitation

I have already gained so much, and even lost some 3.5 kgs wow… the books I have read, movies I have watched, the transformation I already notice in and around me…wow wow wow

And I share another two salient points from The Way

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Priceless is how best I can describe this book

, precisely point 19 and 20:

19. “Will Power. A very important quality. Don’t despise little things, for by the continual practice of denying yourself again and again in such things – which are never futile or trival – with God’s Grace you will add strength and resilience to your will. In that way you will first become master of yourself, and then a guide, a chief, a leader: to compel and to urge and to inspire others, with your word, with your example, with your knowledge and with your authority”; and

20. “It is inevitable that you should feel the rub of other people’s character against your own. After all, you are not a gold coin that everyone likes. Besides, without that friction produced by contact with others, how would you ever lose those corners, those edges and projections – the imperfections and defects – of your character, and acquire the smooth and regular finish, the gentle firmness of charity, of perfection? If your character and the characters of those who live with you were soft and sweet like sponge-cake you would never become a saint”.

Ha, not that am aiming for sainthood oh

So, as I march on, thank you all who have supported and encouraged me – even those who mocked or laughed added to my inspiration and motivation. Seek Him and you’ll find Him if you truly want to. Inner Peace and all His Amazing Grace and Gifts are there in abundance for the asking and contemplating. No formal religion or declaration or word from anyone is required nor talk of mandatory. Indeed, nothing to do with all these irrelevant divisions of the world, sex, race, age, creed, status, and etc etc etc, like we wouldn’t all end up either 6*6 feet below, cremated or any of those?

Hmm, let me hush for now…

by Grace you’ll read from me after 21 days

In truth, freedom and love always,

 

 

 

 Marie Abanga

Sharing some notes from Peace Pilgrim


PP+LITERATURE

Dear All, when my guardian Angel introduced me to peace pilgrim and some of her literature, I new I just had to read as much as I could find about her. Her picture above is linked to her website, and below are some notes from her “Steps to inner Peace” pamphlet. Who knows who will be inspired and motivated? I share for just that purpose!

Reflections from Peace Pilgrim’s steps to Inner Peace

“You are now in control of your life. You see, the ego is never in control. The ego is controlled by wishes for comfort and convenience on the part of the body, by demands of the mind, and by outbursts of the emotions. But the higher nature controls the body and mind and the emotions. I can say to my body, “Lie down there on that cement floor and go to sleep”, and it obeys. I can say to my mind, “Shut out everything else and concentrate on this job before you”, and it’s obedient. I can say to my emotions, “Be still, even in the face of a terrible situation”, and they are still . It’s a different way of loving. The philosopher Thoreau wrote: If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps he hears a different drummer. And now you are following a different drummer – the higher nature instead of the lower”.

                                               –FOUR PREPARATIONS-

  1. Assume right attitudes toward life: Stop being an escapist or a surface-liver as these attitudes can only cause inharmony in your life.
  2. Live good beliefs: The law governing human conduct apply as rigidly as the law of gravity.
  3. Find your place in the life pattern: You have a part  in the scheme of things.
  4. Simplify life to bring inner and outer well-being into harmony: Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens.

                                               –FOUR PURIFICATIONS-

  1. Purification of the bodily temple: Are you free from all the bad habits? In your diet do you stress the vital foods – the fruits, whole grains, vegetables and nuts? Do you get to bed early and get enough sleep? Do you get plenty of fresh air, sunshine, exercise, and contact with nature? If you can answer “Yes” to all of these questions, you have gone a long way towards purification of the bodily temple.
  2. Purification of the thoughts: It is not enough to do right things and say right things. You must also think right things.
  3. Purification of the desires: Since you are here to get yourself into harmony with the laws that govern human conduct and with your part in the scheme of things, your desires should be focused in this direction.
  4. Purification of motives: Obviously your motive should never be of greed or self-seeking, or the wish for self-glorification.

                                                –FOUR RELINQUISHMENTS-

  1. Relinquishment of self-will: You have, or it’s as though you have, two selves: the lower self that usually governs you selfishly, and the the higher self which stands ready to use you gloriously.
  2. Relinquishment of the feeling of separateness: All of us, all over the world, are cells in the body of humanity.
  3. Relinquishment of attachments: Only when you have relinquished all attachments can you really be free.
  4. Relinquishment of all negative feelings: Work on relinquishing negative feelings.

I read all I could about her and her work during the first stage of my spiritual/purification journey, and I made these notes during my second stage, needless to say how inspired and motivated I am especially on the eve of my 3rd stage. Indeed as I once learned, when the student of life is ready, the teacher appears. It’s been a real year of Grace so far and I cannot be grateful enough for all.

Remarkable Rachi my bosom friend and heroine


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Remarkable Raving Rachi all the way, and all the time

Ain’t she remarkable just by her smile and posture?

It is the practice here that during third term holidays (summer holidays for you bushfallers/those who live abroad), ‘children who didn’t do well in school, or the naughty ones like myself, were sent or punished to attend holiday classes for at least one month.

We lived on another side of town, while the holiday classes mum chose was in my former primary school premises on the other side of town. I was the only one sent aka ‘punished’ but I looked so forward to that.

Prima, it was a school which held such sweet souvenirs of among others, bathing each day under the tap, fighting, and losing my school bag sometimes. I mean lots of fun and tears all mixed from that era – the first school I attended, close to 6 good formative years. Secundo, being alone meant No Supervision! You got that? I could leave home, get there, do whatever, and then go back home. I was 14 years old, just the right age too.

Soon after starting, a new student came to our class, and she was so soft and a little shy. I walked up to her at break time on her very first day, and after introducing myself, told her I found her remarkable. She already wore glasses even back then and I remember how she looked at me and then blushed oh my.

Remarkable Rachi and I have been friends since then, a friendship which is second to none other from my teenagehood. Life has happened to both of us, but we have been here and there for each other. Better friends today than ever. Rachi (now a bushfaller since university oh) sent me a remarkable coat I call my ‘pinky plush’. It’s so warm, like she knew what I needed and loved.

My pinky plush all the way even with a big sore eye lol hahaha  – photo taken 22.03.18

Maybe I will return to wearing some ‘Whoopi Goldberg’ sort of googles, or one like Rachi’s? or maybe have a pirate’s eye hahaha – anyway back to remarkable Rachi indeed.

And so, recently I asked my remarkable Rachi if I could blog about her, below is an excerpt of our chat which I got permission to share – kinda of a transcript right?

[16/03 09:21] Marie Abanga: Rachi oh, you know I get a segment for my blog called my heroines. You mind I blog about you? If yes then no problem, if no, then any preferred picture I can use?
[16/03 09:21] Marie Abanga: If no picture allowed I still understand and am grateful
[16/03 09:22] Rachi: 😂😂😂 Ayo Ayo (my nickname which has stuck – it means joy in one Nigerian dialect and so I love it)
[16/03 09:24] Rachi: Wetti I don do for ‘ve (she wonders what makes her deserve being my heroine lol) considered heroine? 😂😂. Na ma big forhead weh small sense dey inside?
[16/03 09:24] Marie Abanga: You’ve been here and here with and for me in the most simple ways
[16/03 09:25] Marie Abanga: You’ve let me into your amazing family and into your room and kitchen
[16/03 09:25] Marie Abanga: You’ve sent me my lovely coat of pinky plush
[16/03 09:26] Marie Abanga: And for the boys too, Alain yi own na near relic
[16/03 09:26] Marie Abanga: My heroines are my everyday champions
[16/03 09:26] Rachi: Oh my sweet Ayo, I am blushing (did I say she loves blushing?).
[16/03 09:27] Marie Abanga: Those few who witnessed my craze and read and heard and still loved me so
[16/03 09:27] Rachi: Ayo, what about the toilet and the bathtub? 😂😂😂
[16/03 09:27] Marie Abanga: Rachi, I tell people while they live and say it on my blog and not in church lol
[16/03 09:28] Marie Abanga: That na the most special (I mean the toilet and bathtub, 1st time I ever entered into one was at Rach’s) , you no mind I add that one? Who was already blushing now?
[16/03 09:28] Rachi: You really know. That’s why you are who you are to us too. 💋💋
[16/03 09:29] Rachi: This is what I call the little things in life go a long way.
[16/03 09:30] Marie Abanga: Rachi, I get a special relationship with toilets (remember the post the loo our love?)
[16/03 09:30] Rachi: Tell me
[16/03 09:31] Marie Abanga: Yes they do and I decide this year to always try to wear a smile for all and sundry cause you never know who will see only that one for the day, or whose life will be bettered because of that
[16/03 09:33] Marie Abanga: Growing up a ‘naughty’ child, the toilet was a hiding place from my mum’s spanking. Later oh with my step mum who forbade my brother and I from leaving our room, going to the toilet was the only logical excuse for leaving that room
[16/03 09:34] Rachi: I can imagine Ayo
[16/03 09:34] Marie Abanga: The toilet became our respite and we could go alone or together and just sit in there for even up to 20/30mins until someone knocked lol
[16/03 09:35] Rachi: Weh my dear.
[16/03 09:35] Marie Abanga: Up to today, my toilet in particular is my sanctuary more than my room
[16/03 09:35] Marie Abanga: The safest place in my home and even where I get some incredible inspiration
[16/03 09:36] Marie Abanga: I meditate more often in there, I have even fallen asleep sitting there a few times lol
[16/03 09:40] Marie Abanga: Now the best for this morning is that last week, I got the title and all 12 chapters of my 2019 book right in there, I also finally got my purpose dictated to me in Gold in there. I had my journal with me and I wrote that down and then cried before being grateful. I got the confirmation I had to go back to school and study psychology to cape the therapy achievement, and I just got an internship at Laquentinie hospital to start in April at the psychiatric ward for two months. I wore my pinky plush jacket for the interview thank you darling
[16/03 09:46] Rachi: Wow. All of this is awesome. We really get to catch up. I go try call you this weekend.

Rachi

And so dear gentle readers and followers, ain’t having such a bossom friend truly remarkable? I mean she is relaxing, reassuring, remarkable, reliable, responsible, resourceful, respectable, restful, regardful, religious, resounding, resplendent and I stop at these lol…

Let me therefore wish us all be inspired and motivated. If you have one as remarkable as Rachi in your life, treasure them, and if you are one as remarkable as Rachi to another, know you are so appreciated…

Their Budding Bicycle Business and Co


When Alain was 9 years old and asked for a bicycle, I quickly got him one because I remembered how he loved his tricycle as a kid and will carry David behind as the zoomed the house. I had left Cameroon when he was 8 years, and was still dealing with so much guilt. Anything he asked for (given that I had easier access to him and barely any to his brothers), I quickly bought.

That was how he quickly learnt to ride his bicycle at his granny’s, and became the ‘chef du quartier’ par excellence (translate this as neighbourhood hero by popular acclamation lol). He always had what I call 12 disciples following him around, negotiating for even only 2 mins on the bike. We don’t have a bike culture here, and most middle or struggling families can’t afford the luxury of buying bikes for their kids, not to talk of each kid having their own lol

So, I got one for Alain, and when his brothers started visiting, they’ll learn how to ride on his bicycle. Their dad the ever his type, refused to get theirs for different reasons. He said they’ll run into the road when I offered to send the money to buy them…his first reason had been he had no money…

Anyway, fast forward to 2018 of course, we now have 3 bicycles for three guys in another neighbourhood like at granny’s. David of all, the one his dad feared for most, is the chief errand guy in the area. He flies on the bicycle, he rides almost standing, and does business with his bicycle more than the others.

They (except Gaby oh lol) ride their bikes to school too, and that spares me some change for taxi etc. It gives them so much autonomy and empowers them, they even give me some coins every now and then. They are fast learning to save and manage their finances and I couldn’t be more proud and grateful.

Alain is now with his 3rd bicycle since then, and he takes immaculate care of his bicycles. David does too, Gaby is just Gaby.

The chain is still on this time around lol

He puts the chair and chain on each time hahaha, but he still has some clients too; just for smaller amounts like 25 frs a ride or even a mango in exchange for some time on his own bicycle lol.

Alain bargains the most and he is big guy now right, so his own generation use the bike for more serious reasons like going on a date etc. One paid 500frs just last Tuesday for 3 hours. You can bet he needed that bike, maybe to go impress a chap lol.

I also seize the opportunity to continue teaching them to save and manage their finances, save also for when the bike breaks down and a wheel needs air for example. Alain and David have been doing that so well, Gaby is still trying to get that right hahaha. They even try fixing it themselves sometimes too and from them I have learnt some parts of a bicycle like the chain, brakes, nodes etc

Talking about business further, David is what we call a real Bamileke man (These are like the super business minded in matters of business in our country – a tribe renowned for being business inclined and with all the pride we can give them). He also has a sticker business. Stickers are called ‘autocolants’ in French, and he gets a packet of say 20 at wholesale price, then retails them for a profit.

The small downside of this business atmosphere here is that they tend to neglect other stuffs like washing their clothes. Nope I don’t do it for them, and nope I don’t have a washing machine, and nope I don’t have a housemaid.

So one day when I got back home and they had all gone out wherever, I didn’t want to raise my voice on their return – see am also fasting from anger and attack thoughts etc. I therefore left them a note on the kitchen door, and went to the nearby lake to read in peace. On my return, my obedient sons had done their laundry and we were all so happy. All is well that ends well, parenting can be fun if we are creative and let the children be themselves too.

Be inspired and motivated all you parents especially single mothers in here