Category Archives: Marie’s Garden

Personifying my Anxiety: I call her Loha


Anxiety Loha
Loha, (Love Hate): My worst friend my best enemy

I have know Loha pretty all my life. She has kept my mind alert more than I could ever wish for. Whether I ask her to come along or not she does. Always offering suggestions, making me doubt my own self, getting me double check on stuffs I have done, and beating myself more than I should for any omission or slight delay. She sometimes makes me wish a day had 48 hours even when I’ll still feel like a failure at the end of each day.

Oh Loha you are the worst of my friends – you nag! Yes, although I like that you help me plan well in advance and think of all possible scenarios of what, who, why, when something could go wrong; the fact that you more often than not come up with those your fall short blabla when any merry comes or is sighted, qualifies you my best enemy.

I think we should revisit our relationship, I wish I could just cut you out, sometimes I feel I have done just that. Is it a must that once you know someone it should be for life? Can you answer me that? Or do you only want me to take a pill which could give me that courage to kick you the hell out of life?

I am gradually however discovering how to get back at you, for all the years when you sucked me down, with all your nagging. I can now tell you to your face, call you out to the world, embarrass you too some. If you don’t like my approach, get lost because more is coming. I have new friends teaching me more tricks. I know much more than I used to, Loha you better step up or be doomed forever you shapeless chameleon creature – no doubt your best colour you say is black!!!

P.S: That was a guest post I submitted last month following a call to submit. I followed up and got my submission acknowledged, but it never got ‘selected for publishing’ and no courtesy did I get in the form of a ‘rejection/notification’. So, considering it their loss and Loha being mine anyway, I share it with us all.

I am officially taking a 1 month summer break from writing on my blog, but I’ll be reading, commenting and why not reblog any I find cool.

Love loads and all the best from Loha and I 🙂

My Son’s Book Review of Born a Crime by Trevor Noah


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My excitement at getting this book is now solidified by my son’s soulful summary

Born a Crime Review by Alain Michel

Please click on the link it is to a pdf document

He wrote that review on the 6th of June which was one of those days for me, as well as the poem I shared here previously too. That date now means so much more to me, and am seriously and sincerely so grateful.

Thank you all for reading,  he will read your comments on his review and see the likes too – He did read it and is currently reading the richest man in babylon and you can imagine how happy I am he is gradually discovering the wonders of books and poems right?

Acceptance of the Blue Sky Tag Award with pride


Blue Sky Tag

Ain’t I a darling to be accepting two awards back to back? Check out my first acceptance here if you wish:

Disclaimer: Out of laziness and yet wanting to officially accept my award, I did a lot of copy work: ( repeat from yesterday – can I plagiarize my own work?)

This isn’t my first nomination for awards on WordPress, but I am happy to receive them even if I can no longer be sufficiently gracious and grateful with the awards as in yesteryears. I however still try to make it a priority to formally accept them on my blog with answers to all the questions (oh my 11 in this case as compared to um 1 yesterday) – Much copy work again

The above being said, let me start by following other protocol (rules is the right word and they they use it no nonsense) to be observed before I answer that questions now – so let’s get going: Same copy work problem oh

A word of; no a basket full of thanks to The Diary of a Muslim Girl for nominating me and finding my person and all over the place work inspirational. This means so special and I feel so blessed to the extent that I have pliagiarized some of her writing (at least this makes up for the award being cashless lol). This darling of a lady is one to be watched, please check out work even if you didn’t want to follow another new but globally hyped blog!!! Copied with innovation lol

Ok,

Rules are as follows – 

  1. Thank the person who nominated you : Just did above
  2. Answer your 11 questions : Will do in a minute
  3. Nominate 11 bloggers for the challenge : am going against this rule (and the next one) unfortunately and dare I say fortunately; I am now in that category of bloggers who don’t candidly have time to nominate bloggers and … and also I don’t have that network of award loving people who would answer any questions and pass same on
  4. Give your nominees 11 questions : See 3 above to the end


Questions for my nominees –

  1. Describe yourself in one word : Merry
  2. Coke or Pepsi? None
  3. Desk: messy or organized? Organized
  4. Pet ownership – which is better? Dog or Cat? Both; I wish they could cohabit peaceful and so enable us pet peeves to keep them both
  5. Things to do – which is better? Sing or Dance? Both: though my voice sometimes relegates me to dancing while some of my moves will make singing less worse
  6. Are you always early or terminally late? My internal alarm beats all alarms
  7. What is your favorite book you read as a child? Cinderella – made me dream and still dream to this day
  8. What is your all time favorite joke? Ain’t worth joking about
  9. Who is the funniest person you know? Trevor Noah
  10. What is your favorite word? Amen
  11. What is your least favorite word? F—

Oh, answering those questions was pretty fast now – I therefore thank my darling Nusrath again for nominating me, and my I was even the first in her list of 11 nominees. She makes me muse with nostalgia and some melancholy of that 18 year old me – but am glad I got to her amazing blog with those awesome photography and such mature content on all even  subjects including Geography (wow I cound’t stand that subject in school) !!!

Yuppie, two more posts and I ‘vamose’ for the summer

A Poem from my son & an amazon gift card fills me with so much Gratitude


Amazon.com Gift Card

Hope you enjoy this Amazon gift card!

$100.00
Amazon.com Gift Card

Hello world, this week has been roller coaster and kind of fast. I am still tired from my previous month activities and also setting up a company, and I still got so much to do. This weekend however kicks off with so much gratitude. I received not one but two amazon gift cards yesterday and oh my one was worth 100 good dollars. How grateful can I be? I so love books it’s like I have to set aside an entire day a week now just for reading – you can guess how many books I have already bought so far…

The other thing which fills my heart with so so much gratitude is this poem below from Alain my son written on the 6th of June, one of those days – He said I could share with us all on my blog:

Tue, 6th June 2017

Human Life

As heat from the sun can be

As permanent and resistant as mosquitoes

Suffering and pain attack the poor

Poverty is as selfish as magots

Sucking a dead animal’s body

But riches do bring problems too

Riches can be swept away 

by illness and disasters

Human has a natural curse it seems

But is blessed with knowledge

Some have clean and clear minds

Others are in uncomfortable minds

In a family, love and hope is needed

to succeed most in life

(c) Alain Michel

Have a Great and Graceful Weekend Everybody

One of those days when the memory of a loved one drains your zeal…


I didn’t plan to blog today, I didn’t know how I will feel today, I just wished I could go through this day as normally as possible.

My brother of blessed memory was born on the 6th of June 1981.

There are days his memory drives me with so much zeal to do my best for the foundation and my life in general. He wished me and the boys so so much. I loved him to my marrow and oh he went through so so much.

And so today and also the day he died (August 2), are those days when his memory drains that zeal. I am writing hoping to feel better after I publish. Writing is cathartic to me.

To all those who go through such moments in their lives, this too shall come to pass. I don’t even know how to look or talk to mum today. She celebrated his last & 33rd birthday with him on the 6/6/2014 in Boston. 

Ah, Healing it seems to me is a never ending journey…I am immortalizing this day by making a new I’d since forgetting the other one in Dakar

Thank you for reading and having a kind thought for me especially on this day

About this weekend P1


Hello world, so you should all guess by now that this area girl with these different auras knows how to enjoy herself. So far, my weekend has been a mix of rest, fun and work on my company. The P2 will be about the second event we are hosting today. And oh the pictures seem to read from last to first… Eg last one is my arrival at the mountain village, next one is the mountain, then my being invited to the national radio impromptu to talk about the Gbm Foundation (7 am and it was damn cold), fourth one is huge breakfast offered by my Co-Founder (asap after the show) and finally hiking and team building (that afternoon – Saturday). When I got back home by 6 pm, I went straight to bed until 4 am this Sunday morning…

Till then, enjoy… and take care of yourselves; we all got but one way tickets to through this journey of life

This little light of mine…


Hello world, am in a cab on my way home from a stressful but very productive and graceful day. Although currently stuck in traffic, I can appreciate the serenity and inspiration to write the following lines which could sing for the song from which the title of my poem is taken:

This little light of mine, am gonna let it shine…

This little love of mine, am gonna let it flow…

This little life of mine, am gonna live it full …

Let it shine, let it flow, live it full…

This little laugh of mine, am gonna laugh it loud…

This little smile of mine, am gonna smile it broad…

This little frown of mine, am gonna frown it all

Laugh it loud, smile it broad, frown it all…

This little dream of mine, am gonna dream it real…

This little tale of mine, am gonna tell it all…

This little cheer of mime, am gonna share it all…

Dream it real, tell it all, share it all…

And when all is said, am gonna say it still…

And when all is done, am gonna do it still…

And when all is lost. Am gonna find it still…

Say it still, do it still, find it still…

And when my light goes dim, am gonna grateful go…

And when my turn is up, am gonna graceful go…

And when my life is nought, am gonna let it go…

Let it go, let it go, let it go

P.S, still stuck in traffic. Not even midway gone but am fine reading my kindle shortly. Have a nice weekend, am off for one tomorrow too

Co-founding and Launching a mega coaching Platform – A Big & Bright Leap of Faith


Hello World, I took a great leap of Faith, as a partner and I on the 16th of May 2017 sat in my office and decided to found our own company called Inspiring Positive Actions Now Ltd. The first maiden event was last week and we were 30 in number. This week we are hoping to have many more and the key note speaker is none other than my mum. Her profile will follow the pitch and you’ll now know for sure who made and make me thick in many ways lol

Here is a business pitch I am working on you know… my dream and vision is oh so so huge it scares even me – I’ll appreciate your feedback:

Hi everyone, my name is Marie A. Abanga and I am the Co-founder & CEO of Inspiring Positive Actions Now Ltd (IPANow Ltd). IPANow Ltd is a mega platform for coaching and training to inspire positive actions in all areas of our lives. Our Programs started officially on the 28th of May in Buea Cameroon with an ice breaker for ladies. This is a nurtured vision, it carries a lot of my passion, determination and dedication. We draw from a rich experience of coaching and being coached; giving trainings; inspirational & motivational talks; and we want to tap into an in existent market segment in a region in dire need of inspiration and motivation with a bid to through personal experience and sharing, inspire positive, remarkable and sustainable holistic actions and transformations. Our goal is not only to carve a niche in the ever budding African Market, but to in a decade be among the global inspirational academies. There is so much potential for a business of this nature in a country and continent waking up to its own human potentials and resources to self stimulate its GDP leading to less reliance on donors and debts. Any investment in our persons and business, is sure to produce returns and the opportunity for assets revaluing and continuous business expansion.

I hope some of you may in 5 years time when I think we should be ready to go public, buy some shares right? And my mum‘s profile:

Mrs Bibiana MBUH TAKU is the Founder and CEO of Diversity Management & Consulting Limited (DMC Ltd)

She is a Master trainer & Instructional designer/Agribusiness curriculum developer

Professional Associations and Social Groups

  • IFC Business Edge Master Trainers network

  • IFC Africa Business Edge Trainers

  • Certified IFC Business Edge Trainer

  • Groupement des Femmes d’Affaires du Cameroun (GFAC).

  • Helen Atabong Asaba’s Foundation for Diabete, Women‘s Emancipation & the Empowerement of the Girl Child

  • Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation for Epilepsy & Mental wellbeing

My Mother My Model
Mum whom I love so much; mindful of all she’s been through with and for me and more

She is based in Cameroon and has had professional experiences in Benin, Burundi, Rwanda, Cote d’Ivoire, Togo, Nigeria, Mali & Senegal and a few european countries like Holland.

She started out her professional career in 1983 with the then American Life Insurance as an Assistant Underwriter and Claims, navigating her way through Pecten Cameroon, going back to school to attend ENAM and graduate as an Treasury Inspector, occupying different positions of responsibility with the Ministry of Finance, returning to Pecten Cameroon, leaving and going to work with Plan International as the Chief Operations Officer, returning once more to the Treasury in Douala, then Pecten Cameroon again right up to her voluntary retirement to set up her Consulting firm in the year 2009.

On a personal note, Ms Taku Bibiana is a dynamic single mother of 3 women the second of whom is Barrister Multipreneur Marie A. Abanga; her only son was called to Glory in August 2014. The Gbm Foundation for epilepsy & mental wellbeing set up in his memory greatly helped and helps her deal and heal from the pain & tremendous hurt of such a loss. She has written several articles, been featured in magazines and been a guest and VIP panellist on shows for various causes she is passionate about.

It is a great honour for us to have her as keynote speaker on Sunday the 4th of June 2017 as she talks to us on the theme: Turning Your Challenges into Opportunities and Thriving.

This discussion is not to be missed, we will listen and learn with Ms Bibiana Taku and Marie (sure like mother like daughter), will also share us some of the biggest lessons she learnt from her mother which have helped her thrived in her right.

Thank you very much
Thank you very much

 

My Mental Health Awareness Month Wrap up…


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Truth be told, I have been looking forward to this day when I take a break from ‘trying in near vain’ every week day, to raise awareness on Mental Health on my blog. I am sure if someone types Mental Health in Africa on google my name will pop up. Well, to that extent, I will be very happy because that is also the visibility of this ‘shameful thing’ I am talking about. You know, yes we all have minds, yes we will like for them to function at their optimum, but no please don’t tell us that is the same as mental health. Only those who are mentally ill should be concerned by any mental health ‘stuffs’ and could it not be some of their fault that their minds flew away so ‘cuckoo’ ? If I am looking, doing and feeling great why should I be talking about the reverse right ?

The above are equally musings I have had throughout this month. I mean I can be qualified as one who is looking, doing and feeling great. Let’s face it, just look at (some of) my profile pictures, media gallery, write ups (except in the mental health category of course) and em what I sometimes say I feel – what should be my business talking and near nagging about such an ‘ackward subject’ as if the world does not have enough global warming threats and political turmoils to deal with ? Even if some members of the British royalty and American pop star Gaga – through some known celebrities and not so known wanabees are talking about bringing heads together to advocate for more compassion and love, self care and awareness of mental health issues, do you think you could ever join any of those ranks or gain any attention ?

This month, I have indeed made it my business to blog every week day about mental health. It is important for me that I write and keep writing because I love writing, it is like a lifeline (So much theraphy for me). The second thing is, you never know there may be one person you save on any day with your write up. I have ‘nagged’ some friends including my favourite Granny of 78 good years, sending her questions and making her write nearly 2000 words for my blog for free. I did this because I wanted to nag the blogosphere and the entire world my own little way this month of May. I was not the only one doing this, I discovered several others were doing similar projects and I contributed a write up to some of them. I had the honour to be featured in a local magazine published in the big USA, that was huge as far as my efforts to raise mental health awareness was concerned.

Behind the scenes, I kept learning and sharing, teaching my children more and more, being more vulnerable with my friends and families about my own challenges with Anxiety and mood disorders, my minor eating disorder and so on. I shared more and more copies of my brother’s journey with strangers as faraway as Dakar – Senegal where I attended the 3rd African Congress on Epilepsy, one of those neurological conditions which is so easily correlated to mental problems. This relationship was actually studied at the congress and one of the main causes of their ‘unhealthy relationship’ was STIGMA. Ah that big, dreaded and dreary word – you know… ‘No I don’t hate them but No I don’t want nothing to with them’.

My research and curiosity with mental health/illness has led me to read many books, developed friendships with those ‘society’ has shunned/stigmatized and considered either posessed or obsessed, and watch documentaries and movies like the incredible ‘Out of the Darkness’ staring the phenomenal actress/singer Diana Ross. I had to watch other movies by Diana Ross to see if she put in her all like that in other movies. I learnt so much from this movie, how a sister could turn her back on you when you got that ‘schizophrenia label’, how the man who was courting you would drop you like a rotten banana once you told him of your ‘label’, how even your own child would sleep barricaded from the inside because she’s been told you could strangle her before regretting it. Good for her her mum stood by her to the end, that’s what mums are for – at least the majority who themselves are not having mental health issues are living up to their God given vocation.

Therefore, while I formally take a break from writing daily about mental health, well am just spreading awareness platforms. I have recently taken a big leap of faith and co-founded a company called Inspiring Positive Actions Now Limited whose maiden event was last Sunday, and one of the main poles of this platform is Mental Health Advocacy.

Thank you all who read/liked/commented or even sighed at any of my posts this month, I am grateful for the opportunity to live and do my own mite to impact the society I live in. Take care of your mental health, the gateway to your holistic wellbeing trust this much…

If you are moved and generous with a like, please like our facebook page right @inspiringpositveactionsnow Thank you very much