Category Archives: Uncategorized

An official BBB 4 me at this point


Hiya my gentle readers and followers,

I have decided to take a BBB… OHh a brief blogging break.

My last few posts have surely revealed some about my current state of mind and matter, and so a break is highly needed. I wish I could travel for some much needed me moments. But Nada, not especially for a single mom of 3 boys with one of them not going on any Easter break because well he is in an ‘examination’ class.

Am just taking a BBB from writing, not reading and commenting. I think something like 7 or 10 days you know. I plan to blog daily in May which is Mental Health Awareness Month and so yes I need to get my grove back sooner than later.

So, see you over at your blogs…

Have a great week aheas

GUEST POST: Before we blame our children’s choices, did our ACTIONS or INACTIONS influence them?


I have hardly followed a blog for a a few months and then offered a guest post. I was moved by all what I have been learning and sharing on this blog, and as a parent I realized any healthy choices I made in life wasn’t for me only. Just like Michelle Obama’s campaign Let’s Move, I have come to realize I can’t expect healthy kids if I don’t set healthy examples in all areas of my life. It was an honour to be so promptly hosted on such an awesome blog. I hope my post inspires and motivates many parents on the blogosphere. Namatse

All About Healthy Choices

I have been given the honor to host a guest post from one of my recent followers and fellow bloggers, Marie Abanga. I appreciate Marie’s candor and the comments she leaves on my posts accompanied by some very personal examples, provoking positive reflections and reactions. Join me in welcoming Marie on my blog as she shares what she has come to understand making healthy choices should mean to a parent.

Please place all “likes” and “comments” directly on Marie’s blog site

after she re-blogs it to her site!!!

I am currently involved in a local project that will keep me off my computer for the next two weeks. Looking forward to catching up with everyone when my project is completed!

UPHOTO_20170317_173209 400 Marie Abanga

Life is really all about healthy choices, not only what we eat but also how we eat, how we help that food spread itself out in our bodies…

View original post 1,057 more words

Why???


Marie Abanga
Needs perpectives and retrospectives

Why do you do the things you do?

Hello e-world and hope we all start off another week with gusto.

Today, I want to use 3 instances to reflect on why I do somethings I do. I am writing this post because some incidents in life have left me so full of contemplation or reflections on the why I do them in the first place. I am chosing 3 of them I think and hope we can relate with or just get us to think about our own instance.

  1. Cleaning up especially at others homes

I love cleaning up. You can read this post I wrote about that. When I visit someone, if I feel comfortable being there, I’ll very often end up in the kitchen offering to help. My task of choice is doing the dishes. And no not staking in a dishwasher which I near got so offended having to use in Belgium, I mean using my hands and dipping stuffs in water and greasing them clean. My next offer, is cleaning bathrooms. One weekend, I was at a friend’s and I felt the urge to clean the bathroom. That’s not my first time doing so, and well maybe sadly, each time I do it not even a thank you is said. That day a ‘selfish’ thought crossed my mind: ‘Why do it when no one cares anyway?’ … But then I calmed myself down, do it for the love of you and for the fact that you’ll be using the bathroom or clean dishes yourself anyway… In my home, there’s an artwork on which it is written: IN OUR HOME CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS . I am happy living that mantra wherever I feel comfortable, appreciation or not!

        2.  Writing

I love reading and writing, have loved these from childhood. When 4 years ago I realized I could be an Indie Author, I skipped for it. For me, it was all about carrying a passion to another bigger platform. That has brought me so much joy, I keep writing both for publishing, on my blog and in my journals at home. Income for my writings is sincerely not measured by royalties but by the therapeutic wind blowing through my brain as I type. Secondly, when I get any feedback from someone who has been touched in anyway by what I write or have written, I am so fulfilled. I still don’t know how to read or understand wordpress statistics neither am I interested. I don’t compare my blog progress by likes, comments and views or clicks etc – really I’ll be deceiving myself if I wanted to take on monitoring those.  My love of writting even extends to doing book reviews regardless of if I get any on my own books. I mean I wish I could afford to be a professional book reviewer. Of the 25 reviews I have left on the amazon, 17 have been found to be useful. What Grace oh my! The same with reading, I read for the love of me, it’s a mental stimulation technique and ain’t that the best way of knowledge acquisition? That is why I follow so many blogs and read many of them, leaving comments on posts I am moved by. It musn’t and is the least reciprocal but I am ok with that. I don’t think I follow all who follow me anyway !

        3. Being & Stayinh positive

I recall insisting to my mum that all what I’ve been through in life I see as experiences and not hurts, mistakes and … I had quickly come to realize that to keep striving in life, I was better off being positive than not. Gladly, one way I discovered to be and stay positive is to deal with my emotions and process whatever I have been through sooner than later. I do those by writing and reading most especially. There are sure some situations which will take much longer to deal with and process, but the secret I have discovered is staying positive that that too shall come to pass. Being positive for me also means reaching out as soon as I can. I follow my instinct and reach out – more times than not, the support has been trememendous. A few weeks ago, I reached out by email to 5 or so blogging friends and they were each in their own capacity so supportive. Being positive for me is abovr all a guarantee of mental and emotional wellbeing. Even my physical wellbeing is assured if I know I am trying my best and some days workout and watching what I eat,  may be not as good as others. I have never measured the raison d’etre of my optimism by ‘material achievements’ or whatever is considered as ‘success’. I decided in January to keep a Gratitude Journal and each evening I write down at least 5 things am grateful for. That way, I lay me down to sleep with positive thoughts and actually keep track during the day only of such incidents. This morning for example, not panicking when I thought I was late fills me with gratitude and am positive I can thrive in that domain too.

And these dear e-world are some special instance which help me to realize the big WHY I do the things I do. I think getting to that point is a good thing and so maybe my post will help some of you start your own reflections too; or well just know you ain’t alone in your struggles to understanding why???

Interview with Pamela Spiro Wagner, on Schizophrenia and mental Illness in general


I have personally seen Pam in a hospital and although it wasn’t in one of those where she was so abused, I found the treatment of her and other there denigrating. I am glad Pam has stood through it all for over 40 good years. Sharing her experiences and view and being so candid is an awesome thing to do. Thanks Pam for Sharing and advocating this forecully.

WAGblog: Dum Spiro Spero

Am I opinionated or what? But someone has to SAY these things!!! Peace!

Pam

View original post

Naming and Blaming: Could it be it starts from young?


naming-and-blaming

Hello world, this is an impromtu post brought about by a recent incident in my house. This is not the first time such have happened but this time it hit me like bam, you’ve got to talk about it, teach them about it and why not throw it out on your blog for more reflections you know. And, unfortunately, if left to go on from young, it could develop into a habbit we are unfortunately even witnessing a whole President doing (let me withold his name before I am tracked down zut)

When I got back home from work this afternoon, as often my boys were having one of their times. Oh boys – those who sure have some free spirited teen boys will heave with me – yes some girls are number too (I am told none of my boys measures up to me – ha). Ok but then boys can even go physical with each other and then go play ball altogether once the winner makes it – girls am not sure we’ll ever talk to each other again if we get there…

Oh so I was saying I got home and they were all over the place… truce… you go study… you go play cause he had no homework and I don’t have no TV … so a 7 year old wouldn’t sit still and to spare distracting his brothers I have to send him for 45 mins. As soon as am into my room, he comes distracting his brothers from the window. The eldest sends him off and 20 minutes later he comes crying. He has fallen down and bruised himself, and well since he don’t like wearing a top nor even flip flops, both his chest and feet took their own marks. He screams like that’s his first or worst fall, and starts blaming his brother.

That is when it bams to me I have got to teach him and all of them something about life. He very often always names and blames either of his brothers for something and I have never really thought to teach them the lesson that you can’t live on in life naming and blaming others all the time. I mean you have to look at your own self in the mirror and assume your responsibility. In all my ‘unconventional memoirs’ and in my life, I try very hard to look at myself and face my big share of mess, blame and all…

And to think of it, if our young ones grow up thinking it’s ok to name and blame, imagine what they’ll do as adults? Even if they get into positions of leadership and responsibility – well they’ll just keep naming and blaming. I have personally recently been so alarmed by some ‘childish’ behaviour I am witnessing from a whole President of a renowned nation. Had there been none before him or were still in his thirties, well maybe that would have been understandable or overlooked. I think the blame is on the media right now and the who and who and what and …

So, does this post make sense? Any input or reflections to share?

When my routine gets interrupted… I really struggle


know-yourself

Hello world, glad I am really getting to know myself and can anticipate what may come if I do certain things, or if certain unplanned stuffs are sent my way.

You see, for a pretty many years now, I have functioned by routine. I mean those close to me know how I like to plan everything and log them in my todoist, google calendar or even on post its. Then my brain loves to log out between 8:30/9 pm and up on its own between 3.30-4 am. That’s how routine I am. Then there is the time for this, and time for that all stored in my internal memory. Once that routine gets interrupted I struggle to get back with almost sometimes big efforts near exasperation.

listen-to-your-body-1

Last week I was trying once again to get back to my normal routine and self because I had spent the week before that on the road tavelling to one burial after the other. I therefore missed out on sleep as schedule, on sports and even eating what and when planned. I also realized on my return I had lost my work grove. Last week I started on monday with a 30 minute workout, doing only 2/3 of what I normally do because I was listening to my body. I tried to catch up the sleep I missed but I just couldn’t because I’ll feel so clumpsy when I ‘over sleep’. I actually did really over sleep thursday morning and got up at 6.15 am and the boys were not ready for school, the house a mess, and I was weary before I even started anything. Save for the Grace of God I didn’t lash them and I really tried to calmly pull it all together.

I have struggled to get my work ethics and groove back too, and yet it got so stretched on Tuesday and Wednesday I almost threw working away. Needed to motivate myself so much. This wasn’t helped by what I felt were last minute changes to some projects, or delays in some work and all. I fumed in me and then calmed myself down. Preferred to end the week by working from home although I also needed to be home because my last son wasn’t going to school.

I try hard to keep a calm demeanour especially at home, and so far not bad. Grateful also for meeting some awesome people on my trip like Erico who made it worthwhile. I just wish I didn’t have to struggle this hard to get back together when my routine gets interrupted cause my mental wellbeing takes such a hit and I fight not to go ‘down the black hole’!

And now over to you dear gentle readers and followers; have you ever made or had a similar experience? Any tips to share?

Choices By Joel F


Hello world, another masterpiece poem from a blogger pal. Oh my, from any angle, any perspective you can look at these stanzas and talk to yourself. I just can’t help rebloging for the weekend

Joys of Joel

choices, wisdom quote by joys of joel, joys of joel beautiful rhyming poems about life choices, discernment quotes Choices – https://joysofjoel.wordpress.com/

The hallway of darkness
will eventually lead you
to the light
but still,
it depends
on the door you take
and the battles you fight

Choices

How confusing
when darkness sets in.

Decisions

How blinding
when you see the light from a far.

Perceptions

How bizarre
when your heart is at war.

Kindlyclick/tapthis To Read

Just Follow The Light and It Will Be All Right

Thanks.

Copyright © 2015 Joys of Joel by Joel F. All Rights Reserved.

View original post

Erico the so called ‘Fool’: My Hero in Wum P1


my new friend.JPG
That is Erico shortly after I courted him

Dear World, remember I said I was gonna be away last week right? Yes, I went to a village called Wum in the northwest Region of Cameroon. I mention this village because over 20 years ago it was the scene of one terrible disaster. Will bring that up in another post.

Now, over to my Hero Erico. Some call him a fool. I wonder who is the bigger fool, cause after 8 or so hours with Erico, and all the places we visited and discussions we had and the transformation I saw in his ‘spirit’, I am humbled – simple – Amen!!!

When I got to the compound, I noticed Erico sitting isolated under a tree. Guess he’s used to. I decided to befriend him, and offered that we share a meal. He was so excited.

erico-warming-up-to-me
Yes I wasn’t really hungry but wanted to court Erico and stigmatize some stigma in that area

Now, while am sitting there with Erico, a lady comes up to us and ask me if I know Erico before. I say well I know him now and ask why, she says because he’s a fool and may embarass me. Ha!!! I let her go. Then a second man comes up, and asks me if I don’t want to go eat indoors; I ask why (like I don’t know he’s jealous of Erico), he says well it’s more comfortable indoors. I say no thanks.

You see people, their envy fuels me up with motivation to make Erico my Hero and star of my short stay. And Erico knows that village inside out. He was abandoned with his paternal grandma by his mum when he was 5 years old because she couldn’t cope with such a foolish child. I taught Erico how to take a picture and see his shot below. He was so excited:

He ignored the kids laughing at him when he initially fumbled with the camera, and am so impressed with his improvement. He took me to the market, and the infamous lake and talked about so much. I will be sharing more of those in p2. I end this with another more glowing picture of Erico taken a few hours later. I got him that jersey from the market as a souvenir.

erico-so-loves-his-new-jersey
I wish I could afford snickers that day, he tells me he loves football but the kids don’t let him play: He had graciously taken a shower and was so impressed with himself – he was the star of the day

This is the first part of my short series of a personal experience with one of the marginalized in our society – the ones we stigmatize because of their physical appearance or mental disposition which apparently is not ‘normal’ and so they should be shunned. One ‘Christian’ lady (she wore their uniform) actually made a gesture like they ( yes Erico’s 2 other friends Ndolo and Tangatapan also became my friends) were smelling and should leave the place.

So my e-world, what do you think of such experiences and different perspectives?

Don’t worry, be happy!


I am that friend my Precious Pammy mentions. Yes sometimes life works us up and then the mind and body pays the toll. It’s a learning process and I can’t ever thank my angels enough for leading me to my Precious Pammy. Hope her post helps someone out there.

WAGblog: Dum Spiro Spero

Recently a friend wrote to me that she was exhausted with worry about whether the future would work out as she wanted it to. She has many concerns and young sons to generate a lot of worries, so i sympathize completely. Nevertheless, this is what i wrote to her and more…

Remember that there are plenty of futures out there and we have absolutely no way of knowing which one will come to us as the present, not until it is the present. So you can spend your time worrying in the present about a future you cannot change by worrying about it (can you?) or you can choose to ENJOY THE FUTURE now by assuming that it will all work out beautifully. That means of course, that freed from worrying about a disastrous outcome, you will enjoy the present, too. Yes, it is possible that what comes will bring…

View original post 450 more words