I wonder who doesn’t appreciate honesty? Who wouldn’t like to be taken for their words or take others for what they say?

Well, I remember growing up and loving to speak my mind in all honesty and yes to own up to my mistakes. However, with teenage, came dishonesty.

That’s where the above picture of mine fits into this post. It isn’t because I want you to know that I took oath as a Lawyer, oh no, it is because that day coincides with the period when I finally decided that henceforth, no more dishonesty.

I said to myself, you won’t be dishonest with yourself, your family and the entire world. You would live your life to the best of your understanding, possibilities and belief.

I realized all my years of dishonesty had hurt me most and driven me to the meanest of actions either in consolation of my parallel lives or to keep my illusions a float.

I soon after taking that oath, and the personal oath in me, wrote lengthy letters to my Ex Husband, and my parents trying to make them understand that I was leaving my marriage and them all because of my dishonesty.

Well, my featured publication tells more of my tale. All I can say for now is, since I resolved to live an honest and yes ‘open’ as a ‘book’ life, I am at peace with my self and happy with my life. You are all invited to the two events on g+ and facebook for the launch on the 1st of March 2014.

Dear gentle followers of mine, what is your take on this delicate concept and virtue? 


Na’am my Ma’am from Niger!

Na'am and I

In my short existence on earth, I have gone places and transited a lot in life. I haven’t been to a lot places physically, but all the diverse people I have met makes a me certified traveller in memories.

One of such remarkable people I met and yes in Tanzania while I worked there for one year, was Mariam from Niger. She equally worked there.

I was first an intern for six months and then a pro-bono Legal Assistant for another six months, hence I wasn’t on a salary. My Na’am (Mother in Fulbe), as I will henceforth refer to her, was on her part, an employee of the ICTR  (International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda).

She took me under her wings I don’t know which Angel told her I bleedingly needed that. She adopted me. Gave me so much and taught me so much.

She belonged to an elite group of hikers (Tanzania is renowned for its tourism) and took me along, paying for me all the time. This is just some souvenirs of that period:

Na'am my Ma'am

Here we are at one of those waterfalls in Arusha where you hike hard to reach and then don’t want to leave!

my Na'm +I

A crater around the feet on Mt Kilimanjaro.


Hiking and even going down on our bottoms sometimes because the path was steep and slippery.

what could the future very well hold for me

She took a friend of hers who came visiting from the US and I to the Massai Village and the Snake Park. She paid for us to be dressed in the Massai regalai and we each had a Camel tour of course all first times for me.

When my time in Arusha was up, she took me to Ethiopian Airways and chipped in for my trip. I was sad to leave her and yet hopeful for the future.

Looking into the future. This picture was taken by her while I was looking into the window wondering what’s next for me.

Of course, my Na’am and I have kept in touch and oh how much I love her because just like my mother, she is a no nonsense woman. She is my heroine, my Na’am and Ma’am from Niger.

Do you have such too in your lives, or have you met such too along your journey? It is always nice to share…

African Women: Pillars of Agriculture but Greatly Marginalized

Statistics are clear, Facts are indisputable, the toll is high but what about the returns? I feel greatly saddened. I wish I could work harder to contribute my widow´s mite so that our policy makers (again very few of whom are women), help these women in overcoming the various challenges identified and the feasible and possible actions outlined to help African Women and all those women in the Agricultural industry to no longer feel marginalized but fell they actually determine the margins – the “profit margins”.

Girls' Globe

Women farmers are the pillars of African agriculture. According to the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO), the agricultural sector employs over two-thirds of all women in Africa who then produce nearly 90 percent of food on the continent. Women are responsible for growing, selling, buying and preparing food for their families yet remain marginalized in business relations and lack control over access to resources such as land, improved seeds and fertilizer, credit and technology.

Women serve as the backbone of agriculture and food production in Africa, but the potential of women in agriculture is left largely untapped. African women comprise approximately 70 percent of Sub-Saharan agriculture workers and 80 percent of the actors in the food processing chain.

Agricultural programs are rarely designed with women’s needs in mind due to a combination of logistical, cultural, and economic factors, coupled with a lack of gender statistics in the agricultural sector. As a result, African women farmers…

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This is so touching and inspiring. I am strong today because l forgave myself above all and also forgave Him. He greatly contributed to my
becoming an unfaithful wife but l eventually pulled myself together leaving the shame and sham of a marriage and all. I still weep for the boys l left there but someday and with all the support l now have, l will get my boys and all.

Building A Life Of Hope


Credit: www.fotolia.com

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi

When I round the curve in the road, my thoughts unexpectedly go back to her and that not so long ago time when she was the “other”. The past lingers for just a moment then disappears as the road straightens and I head for home.

Each week, I return to the space that provides solace and heat. A place in that not so long ago time that seemed to call my name. The road was dark then, the route unknown. Each visit an escape hatch from pain.

Perhaps I was conceited enough to believe that he would never leave-never mind deceive. Then we became another cliché. Middle-aged man leaves wife and kids for younger woman. How trite and how true.

The knowledge came in bits and pieces. An off-handed remark made by a close…

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Productivity Hacks: Part 1

I have been doing some of the things Lidiya mentions in her posts and I can say they have helped me considerably in my productivity. I try as much as possible to start off at 5 am each day and it used to be even 4 am.
I keep apps in which I log my various tasks, my daily ‘achieved’, my notes and much more.
I have always tried to do today what I can and should do as planned and not push to tomorrow or later.
I am however to try out the two minute rule nor register any success at following the fixed period of time hack. the notifications of my phone and much more would not guarantee my total concentration. However, when I think I really need not to notified by the ‘smart’ phone, I just switch it silent.

Let's Reach Success

If you look back on the last few days and analyze the things you did, how would you define your overall performance?

Did you do most of the things on your to-do list? Were you efficient? Did you do focused work on important tasks or wasn’t that concentrated and most of them weren’t that meaningful? Did you waste time procrastinating and just doing nothing?

In other words, can you say these days were productive?

Often the answer is no. And that doesn’t mean you didn’t do your best. It just means you weren’t productive.

Productivity is to do all the important things that need to be done, to do them in little time and with focus.

You can cross everything on your to-do list but that can take days, while it’s planned for just one.
You can do them, but not properly, which will lead to bad results. You can…

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I don’t have time to…

I don’t have time indeed to HATE.  Life is short, death is sure, time is unpredictable. Why would I waste whatever i have hating? I choose to Love and live happily. I prefer to wake being grateful for yet the another moment of time to do my best and leave an impact so that where I to run out of time and hence wake up no more, my love and deeds will live on timelessly.

Nothing ain’t ever easy…

And, I mean nothing not even sewing…

Thank you mama

I am writing about sewing although it could well be about any other activity. I am writing about sewing for three reasons.

First, I tried sewing for my first time yesterday. Well, I mean with a machine because I can crip crop with a thread and needle obviously.

Secondly, I pick sewing because when growing up, I took it for granted.  My mother was a ‘tailor’.  Well, not a pro but she sewed our clothes and linen for the house and much more.

Thirdly, girls back home, when they can’t get along in school or when there is no ‘money’ or time to ‘waste’ sending them to school, the options they are often given is either to learn sewing or hairdressing.

I thus saw some go in for sewing and soon open their own workshops or do stuffs at home and I thought it was easy.

Yesterday, even with an electric sewing machine, I found out for myself that it wasn’t.

I broke a needle and messed it the first time and only got some by the third try. I was proud of my end product yet ashamed of myself for not having gotten it right away and above all for having taken it for granted all along that it was easy.

I thought mama enjoyed it and I remember giving her a hard time because she would sew a new dress today and it would be torn and ready for a patch the next day because I would play and rub and run in it. She often did twice as many for me.

I thought it was easy because it was an option for many girls and they peddled along the whole day.

But no, it ain’t easy. It takes the same Determination, Discipline and Dedication that studies in the classroom take and all other projects in life demand.

By the time I was done yesterday and my back and fingers hurt, I could barely afford a smile. Now I can truly thank my mama for sewing our clothes and mine in particular. I can also envy those tailors out there, the designers and all.I tried to smile

Kill Worry And Live Long

Kill Worry And Live Long.


Vincent Egoro, one of my great men of whom I posted about yesterday, does it so well in his consistent writing on some of these pertinent and often considered “little” issues which yes, worry us to our graves.

He writes this morning about worrying and how it is an unprofitable business. I think, it is a waste of resources and a short cut to the grave.

Yes, we surely also cannot live without worrying – let’s be realistic. Yet we must not make it a habit and worst of all try to drag others along to worry with us.

I recently reblogged a related post about nagging written by my good friend Mah Mekolle and I related this to a song we sang in high school about chronic grumblers.

This why I find this famous quotation most pertinent: “Some people bear three kinds of trouble — all they ever had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.” — Edward Everett Hale.

My dear followers, what could be your take on these issues?

Four great men of mine …

A great man

I don’t know the ‘wiki’ definition of great men and I am not talking about those the world may or may not consider great men.

No, here, I am gonna talk about four men in my ‘e-world’.  The likes of the Mandelas, Obamas, Fela or Femi Kutis or the Clintons are public knowledge and are out there for all to  resource from.

My great men, the four I will write of, are doing something in their own little but great way, to inspire and motivate me and surely several others.

The first of them is a guy called Jeff Moore who has a tremendous blog and mission .  His about me page reads thus: “Founder of http://www.EverydayPowerBlog.com and My Everyday Power, Jeff Moore is an entrepreneur, educator, and motivator on a mission to inspire those around him. Jeff has dedicated his personal and professional life to helping people realize their own potential for greatness. He has an expertise in creating intrinsic motivation and is a catalyst for incredible change in the lives of others.”

Jeff, has been an on and offline inspiration and support though we’ve never met nor corresponded more than a few times. Once I told him I was an ‘MJC’ meaning a Mary Just Come and his answer was: Keep doing what you are doing and soon before you know it, you will be and ‘MKP’ meaning, Mary Knows Plenty.

The second guy is called Vincent Egoro and he is somewhat like the first in his blog and mission. He is a neighbour of mine (in so far as Nigeria is Cameroon’s closest neighbour ) and also a great support. He once told me he doesn’t think he deserves to be mentioned next to the great likes of Jeff, but I think otherwise hence I do it again. It is not the number of likes on a facebook page that determines your greatness right?

His about me page takes off thus: “Vincent Egoro is a passionate student of life who is committed to inspiring and empowering millions of people all over the world to live their greatest lives, face their fears and grow stronger. He believes that everyone has a seed of greatness deposited in them at birth by God. But this like all seeds, require nurturing and great care for it to express itself.”

Next is my dear friend Denis Cardiff who runs one of those unique blogs to be looked up:  http://gottafindahome.wordpress.com/. I stumbled upon his blog out of curiosity and I am a passionate follower now. His posts are delivered to my mail box. He is not like the first two but he motivates in his own way. He tells of the plight of the homeless and how ‘beautiful’ within some of them are.

Yes, I can relate to his posts because for some time in my life, I literally lived and loved in the streets. I worked with street kids, prostitutes, prisoners and, yes, even a madman. I even went as far as dating one of them and what I learnt during that period of my life can’t even all be narrated in my upcoming book.

The last but not the least of my foursome, is the great http://lesbrown.com/. I only stumbled upon Mr Les Brown this week, following a link on one of Jeff’s newsletter. I am sure many know who this great man is and his incredible story of birth in an abandoned building, adoption at 6 weeks of age, qualification as a special education lad and up, up, up to what and who he is today.

I follow him now like a wounded lion. I listen to his u-tubes everywhere. I have subscribed to all what I could subscribe to and I read them as meticulously as I did the Bible.

These four men of mine all seem to fit into the definition of great men which I just looked up on wiki as I conclude :  They are highly influential individuals who, due to either their personal charismaintelligencewisdom, or Machiavellianism utilized their power in a way that had a decisive historical impact.

Well, some of my men above may not have or leave a  ‘historical impact’ and may not be that ‘highly influential’ but to me and several others, they are both influential and impactful.

To them and all other unsung heros, I say THANK YOU!

My thrilling life as an author, coach, consultant & mental health advocate…

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This blog is to encourage others that is being victimize, been a victm, or were a victim that they no longer have to live in hidden. I want to share words of encouragement to them and let them know they can come out of their situtaion alive no matter what there abuser is telling or has told them over the years. Some individuals have left their abuser but they are still living in afraid or living in in jail mental; the victim have to get his or her life back. Living behind the wall in public isn't well for them. They have to make a stand for themselves and regain what they lost in that relationship. It will not happen within a week or probably a month. First of all its a learning process, admit to what they lost, and let go of the shame, pride, and bitter. Its up to the victim to want to be a Survior not the abuser.


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