Overcoming my fear of wearing my hearing aids in Public!


l have had a hearing deficiency from as far back as my high school days. It was and it is still frustrating.

Before, the issue was that I couldn’t hear well so I couldn’t hold a conversation without straining myself out. In school, I read lips and sat in the first row and sometimes really close to the lecturers’ table. I actually preferred reading and still do.

I once went to a specialist back home and he washed my ears and said something about my needing h-aids, but there was no money to spare for them at the time.

So when I came to Brussels last year, I immediately took out an insurance and went again for a check up. This time, I was prescribed one and I knew I either got them or got lost.

I got them and was even surprised to be reimbursed completely some months later. Now, you would think with all this narrative, I should be proudly wearing them everywhere right?

Oh no,  another frustration was, I felt they were too big and will add to my ‘pity likeness’ (if such a word exist). You see, we even judge ourselves before others do and this is bad.

Now, I tried to always have a hair do that will cover my ears so no one sees my h-aids. But for how long you may ask? I needed them so badly and could not leave them home you see.

I talked about it with my Gentleman and he reassured me that people wouldn’t care and that even those who did would be glad it was me not them who had the problem anyway.

I also started seeing people with theirs and they were all so confident and happy. I had been scared that I would lose my job if my boss found out I had h-aids but oh poor me, she has never even made a remark up to today.

I remember the first time I had to go visit my friend’s family with my braids pulled back and how nervous I was but then it went well and nobody even remarked.

Sometimes I still forget those aids and then it is hard to hold a conversation and this time around, I often remove them at home and it nerves all over. I  however feel more comfortable with them and don’t care about their size and colour anymore.

A kid sister of mine back home with a similar problem was talking to me about the different types of h-aids (the BTE and the ITE) and the negative attention it attracted. I told her I didn’t care anymore.

Surely one day, I would get an ITE (inside the ear) but for now, my BTE (behind the ear)although big, was just perfect for me. Many may want one but they just can’t afford and so I am truly grateful for that.


Does anyone have similar experience to share or just a remark to make?


Nils Jent a true Inspiration!

Nils Jent

Can you tell from a first look that the gentleman in the wheel chair is blind, paralysed and much more?

WE had a great time at the Diversity Ball last April 2013 but you need to hear his story and am sure you would be inspired too and maybe moved to tears like I was when I watched his movie titled Breathing Under the Water.

You see, he wasn’t born blind, paralysed or all. No it was a car accident when he barely turned 18, that changed his life and those of his entire world like this. Nils Jent

Here is an extract of his story:

“As a young man Nils Jent nearly loses his life in a serious motorcycle accident. It is a medical miracle that he survived at all. When he wakes up, he is completely paralyzed, blind and incapable of speaking. His intelligence is the only thing that has remained intact. Only with the help of his eyelids can he make contact with the environment.

Tirelessly Nils fights against internal and external resistors and leaps back to life.

Thanks to his will and the unconditional support and love of his parents they all move slowly closer to Nils’ goals. He brings his hard work and fortitude to realization after obtaining a PHD. Dr. Nils Jent now teaches in the area of ​​diversity management at the University of St. Gallen.

A big attraction now is the newly minted professor and director of applied research at the Center for Disability and Integration of the University of St. Gallen.  He works tirelessly  for the benefit of all people  in the society with a disability.”

I am lost in awe of this miracle, this determination, this drive, this fortitude, this story, this inspiration.

What is your take on this oh you gentle followers of mine?

A Meaningful Life…


Yes, this is how I see it too today. I once thought the contrary. 

I thought I lived a meaningful life if I lived as per the conventions of my society, my family.

I thought I had to be accepted, to fit in, to find meaning.

Yes, I have always been a popular tag among my bunch and that popularity gave me “meaning”?

I however faked more than I fared. I lived parallel lives known to none but myself. Sure I sought high and higher education and of course aimed at being and staying rich. Had the cars, a beautiful home, children and a husband to grant me the highly converted status ofMRS…!

Well, one day, I couldn’t run from my own shadows no more. I hurt more than I could help my own self. Thought I could drown myself in adulterous relationships and even attempted suicide. All of these were still known to none but me.

Then it dawned on me that I alone could give meaning to my life. I got real with myself. Humbly looked and faced myself in the mirror. My modest option was to out from it all. Got no support from my “bunch” yet still did out I did.

Support did come later but I was already on my way to a FULL, HAPPY and CONTENTED LIFE. I have thus decided, to push or pull it further by sharing myself in all honesty that I may touch the lives of others.

What you say my hope to get gentle followers?

Sherry, her true self, my heroine!

Sherry and IThere are some people you meet for a few days and it’s like you have known them all along. I think we all have met such people in our lives too right?

Well, Sherry Snipes is one of such people I met. Part of her official biography is as follows:

Now to Sherry her true self, too many caps on that feather of hers (or is it the other way round?)

We met in Vienna in April 2013 at the 4th EDIC conference organized by my all time sister, boss and mentor, Ms Beatrice Achaleke and she was the MC at the event. I was told that was her third participation and then they even partnered together for the Dandi Awards and more … well that’s for next time.

Sherry does so many other things like diligently publishing the The Sherry Snipes Daily, she has various facebook pages, all sorts of stories and graphic and you wonder how she juggles it all. Having known and keeping in touch with such people, is nurturing.

She was the first to fish me out on facebook and this tells a lot. Now, one of her mantra is LIVE*LOVE*LAUGH so what else can I add about such a gorgeous lady with a tell it all name?

She recently posted this on facebook and I love her whimp: “You know you have toooo many aps when it takes 5min to find the one you want”.

For all the above reasons, and for all the other things Sherry does and her super juggling of motherhood, and her sitcom relationship with her sons and all, she is my heroine.

How Violence Plagues the Poor

This is disheartening and yet so rampant. Everyday violence I dare add, is not only promiscuous in the developing world, but numerous and extremely sad tales abound in the developed world too. Cases abound of girls and women abducted and locked away for years and the recent case of Ariel Castro is just one of such. Therefore, we must not relent in our advocacy and call for action, nor our determination to work harder and harder to be an inspiration and motivation to several others who may not have the voice nor will to do so.

Girls' Globe

“The locusts of everyday violence have been allowed to swarm unabated in the developing world. And they are laying waste to the hope of the poor.”
– Gary A. Haugen and Victor Boutros in their new book, The Locust Effect

At the International Justice Mission, we come face to face every day with the reality that poor people are vulnerable to violence. Globally, the facts are stunning. Nearly 30 million children, women and men are held as forced labor slaves. One in 5 women will be a victim of rape or attempted rape – and sexual violence makes everyday activities like going to school, gathering water, using a communal restroom or taking public transport dangerous.

The truth is that 4 billion people  – that most of the world’s poorest people – live in places where their justice systems don’t or can’t protect them from these kinds of “everyday violence.”


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How Much Everyday Power Do You Have?

I don’t know how I missed this post of Jeff’s when he posted it but I think it was the December season. I ask myself each day how much I would love to achieve and how much energy I wish to put into my day’s work. Simply put, I evaluate myself and gear for better and best. I find this post and the graphics so illustrative, motivational and inspiring.


ThIS POEM OF my friend Dennis, once more catches and even pokes me further to hurry up. Yes, I believe in Madiba’s mantra and really wish to do my own little best. l have chosen to commit and l am seizing the opportunity each day to change and to improve my life so I can help others improve theirs too.

Dennis Cardiff



each morning, upon awakening
I’m offered the possibility to change —
to improve my life.

I can commit to helping others;
in general — try to be a better:
husband, father, worker, citizen.

This is the possibility;
my challenge is to follow through —
make today an example for life.

This is a small step. I realize
my influence is not far-reaching,
but, it is a first step.

If everyone takes that step — reaches out,
enriches the lives of  friends and contacts —
we can change the world.

As Nelson Mandela expressed:
the consciousness of one person can
bring about global change for the good.

One drop of kindness in the pool of
humanity will cause a ripple
which can generate into a wave.

A wave of hope, of caring, of love
of sharing is all that is needed
to solve the problems of this planet.

We can…

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100 Blog posts in barely 2.5 Months Wow, Thank you!

I just keep writing and walking and living!

Just got this now from the word press team!

Wow, to think I started in November? And all the support I got and some comments and mainly likes cheered me up and kept my fire burning and I was Hungry and I was generous.

Wow, and all the critics and skeptics too. You see, I love challenges because they don’t scare me. I brave up more often than not and I keep walking, pushing and pulling.

I will continue my blogging and all,  and with even more passion, hunger and thirst. Come April, I take up the A-Z Challenge and win or not, I will survive the championship.

Thank you all, I will keep appreciating your reviews…

Refuge – what is yours?

l so love this poem of Dennis’s and thought to share so we cuddle with in reflection this weekend if we wish. The ending notes in particular, contrast with the graphic illustration hence the reflections and art. Coincidentally, a chapter in my featured publication is called “Marriage my Refuge”. Will it have such sweet end notes like in this poem? Reste à savoir…

Dennis Cardiff




lost my way
on rocky ground
no footprints
to be found

through the briar
to parts unknown
and alone

changed direction
climbed a hill
saw your fire
burning still

lifetime gone
’till saw your spark
my refuge
from the dark


Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/116285526@N07/12289713085/

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