l have had a hearing deficiency from as far back as my high school days. It was and it is still frustrating.
Before, the issue was that I couldn’t hear well so I couldn’t hold a conversation without straining myself out. In school, I read lips and sat in the first row and sometimes really close to the lecturers’ table. I actually preferred reading and still do.
I once went to a specialist back home and he washed my ears and said something about my needing h-aids, but there was no money to spare for them at the time.
So when I came to Brussels last year, I immediately took out an insurance and went again for a check up. This time, I was prescribed one and I knew I either got them or got lost.
I got them and was even surprised to be reimbursed completely some months later. Now, you would think with all this narrative, I should be proudly wearing them everywhere right?
Oh no, another frustration was, I felt they were too big and will add to my ‘pity likeness’ (if such a word exist). You see, we even judge ourselves before others do and this is bad.
Now, I tried to always have a hair do that will cover my ears so no one sees my h-aids. But for how long you may ask? I needed them so badly and could not leave them home you see.
I talked about it with my Gentleman and he reassured me that people wouldn’t care and that even those who did would be glad it was me not them who had the problem anyway.
I also started seeing people with theirs and they were all so confident and happy. I had been scared that I would lose my job if my boss found out I had h-aids but oh poor me, she has never even made a remark up to today.
I remember the first time I had to go visit my friend’s family with my braids pulled back and how nervous I was but then it went well and nobody even remarked.
Sometimes I still forget those aids and then it is hard to hold a conversation and this time around, I often remove them at home and it nerves all over. I however feel more comfortable with them and don’t care about their size and colour anymore.
A kid sister of mine back home with a similar problem was talking to me about the different types of h-aids (the BTE and the ITE) and the negative attention it attracted. I told her I didn’t care anymore.
Surely one day, I would get an ITE (inside the ear) but for now, my BTE (behind the ear)although big, was just perfect for me. Many may want one but they just can’t afford and so I am truly grateful for that.
Does anyone have similar experience to share or just a remark to make?