Tag Archives: Birthday

 9 soul wishes I have on my 39th Birthday are…

More than any birthday wishes or gifts; reading and reflecting on this post will bring me such joy and appreciation for your time

  1. That my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) be as visible as my RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis);
  2. That when my head spins like a carousel making it hard to think and act normal, it attracts as much sympathy and why not empathy, just like when my joints ache and my knee cap swells making it hard to walk;
  3. That when the inflammations from the RA make me writhe in pain and am more nervous, agitated and weird, it be just understood as the natural consequence of the physical pain without any allusion to my PTSD;
  4. That when I need to rest or stay away and just be alone doing my thing,  even if I should normally be functional and ‘acting normal’, it will not be construed as having an attitude;
  5. That whether on any meds or not, that should not determine/grossly affect my state of health, wellbeing nor feeling of belonging;
  6. That my sons grow to not distinguish between my conditions but get it that I need to rest and recuperate either condition;
  7. That my sons shun from stigmatizing anyone be it in our extended family or not, who may be struggling with any condition be it physical or mental;
  8. That any friends am making henceforth know like the few I still have that I have both a physical and mental illness, that am not defined by any of them, but that I don’t tolerate any stigma of my person nor of any person living with either illness or health conditions;
  9. That I always remember to be grateful for all I have lived and currently live, and especially that I didn’t commit suicide as attempted February 2009 when I thought that was the best solution to my then miserable existence…

  I have but 9 wishes, because the other 30 slot years of my life have oh been so graciously filled with so much to be grateful for… It is only getting better and I thank my angels and Guardian Angel for my family and my dear ‘e-family’ from whom I have learned so much and with whom I share so much.

P.s: The irony this year is, I wrote this post on Monday 15th and had an RA flareup on Tuesday 16th and was bed grounded on Wednesday 17th January. The get well soon messages on different mediums made me reflect if I had blogged about suffering a mental meltdown.

Anyways; Here is a recap of some of  my previous birthday posts since the great redemption. I was born on a Thursday too so it feels special special lol 

2015 Year of Redemption;

2016 Year of Love (was sick and on a 3 weeks blogging break-although I got a surprise birthday cake from the host of a TV Show I was guest on – that was so touching) 37th-birthday ;

2017 year of Gratitude

My birthday Vlog of that very painful 2014 (When I lost my only brother Gabriel and near lost all my mind) still holds today. Hope the message resonates


One of those precious moments dancing with Mum on her Birthday lol

Mam's birthday 2017

Well, Mom and I have simply been Mom and I. I will write a whole book later, so for now enjoy us dancing together (that takes you to my facebook page – lazy me lol) this morning as she celebrates another year.



Alain turns a whooping 14…Hurray

22.10.2016 Alain himself
He did that himself last November and he calls himself…

It’s been much more joy than anything else for real

Alain has always done so so well in school regardless of the school he went to; or the circumstances WE were going through like when I upped and disappeared in May 2011.

A one month ‘visit’ (not planned as such) in July /August 2011 a few months after I left them behind

I am so grateful for him. He loves sciences that I see, but he writes poetry, draws some and enjoys football. I could never thank my God our God enough for Alain. He is for all time the epitome of my sorrow and joy and has a very special place in my life and heart of course…He is my Hero…Thank you so much Alain from my every pore, you know how much I love YOU!!!

Sharing some ice cream love over at one they call Ice cream Grandma’s in the cool city of Buea, Cameroon
Sometimes in July on our way for a diiner date just us, brothers were at their dad’s


That was on friday on our way to a dinner invitation


We are out today having a blast at a Chinese all you, can and then some ice cream hurray.

When I reread this post and what I wrote last year for his birthday, I’ll say although I stumbled into motherhood, am so proud and grateful for the journey.

Dear all, kindly join me in wishing Alain a belated birthday, he’ll sure see all your likes and read/reply to your comments.

It’s my Birthday: Reviewing some of them down the road

My  3 Musketeers and I, what more could I ask for?

Oh Happy day, oh happy day… Oh happy day, oh happy day…

Another birthday is here, wow wow wow – look at who’s made it this far?  This year is a far different year because I think I have come full cycle… not that life will not make and mar me henceforth or anymore, but I have since the 10th of October last year made a conscious turning point in my life henceforth… No more consciously messing up and letting myself be messed up so help me God… I am therefore celebrating this day with my boys in our own special way – yes I DESERVE IT

I flash back to my birthday in 2014… I did a youtube; sort of familiarizing myself with baring and sharing my whole self – body and soul out there in the world; and oh my that was scary especially back then…

Then in 2015, I was further tamed to attempt some humour, and I came up with 36 lessons learned in 36 years… hope you have a look right here… A few days before then, I had just made one of my greatest discoveries – I found love oh my…

A very pleasant surprise, modest but 

Last year, that is 2016, I was a guest on a show on that day talking about women and love and life; and hmm I was feeling soso until the host surprised me with a birthday cake… That warmed me up for the rest of the day…

With this dear all, I humbly recall and share some of my journey especially on my birthday… Wishing us all the best…

Thank you
Gratitude all the way


A MEMO I almost forgot to share…

Souvenirs like these boosts the moods tons
Souvenirs like these boosts the moods tons

Hi all, it’s Friday and I am happy for the break. I am happy I will be having my boys for the weekend, and I am happy there is nothing ‘big’ from the fever and meh I have been dealing with since last saturday. Actually, just some antibiotics prescribed although for a sad 20 good days.

Ok now to today’s post. I almost forgot to share hmm because of this fever and meh following me around for close to a week now. Almost ruined my birthday for me even.

Aha it was about this MeMo… I was actually on my way to Kribi – this sea side resort in Cameroon I told you I was planning on treating my best friend and I to for the weekend ahead of our 37th BD. It was there that it struck me the meaning I am henceforth giving to Memo. Me Moments. I’ll be writing several to myself henceforth and sticking them wherever… especially in my ‘cool’ moments or even the contemplative ones – before I can open my journal or go on my PC to blog etc

For example: Hey girl, I was just thinking if we could check out this new club you know, or look up that book, blog…

Hey girl, I have been wondering what’s on your mind recently; your mood seems to be swinging? and on an on – yes I need to put the dates always and yes I need to go get post sticks

So back to that ‘Memo’ (I called it Me Time then 🙂 you know ) which took my best friend and I to Kribi. Our stay was cut short but we did our best. The trip had initially been for a colleague’s wedding, but I changed my mind at the last minute about attending that wedding, and chose to transform it to a Memo.

I got a good deal for some sightseeing which took me to visit the pygmies by canoe (a big big first one for me, panicked until I used breathing technique and survived the one hour to and fro trip)

in the nearby tropical forest, and

spend the afternoon on some white sandy beach by a ‘cool cute’ waterfall eating roasted shrimps…

Yummy huh :)
Yummy huh 🙂

I had been wondering what to blog about today before I leave the office you know; something not dreary as such; a post which could hopefully lighten our moods and not fuel melancholy if you get my point. And so this is to wishing us all the best for the weekend… and oh I forget to add that I climbed and slept on a hammock for my first time too

enjoying me some reading in that hammock on the beach :)
enjoying me some reading in that hammock on the beach 🙂

Hurray It’s my Birthday: 36 course in 36 years

MM full of anticipation
MM full of anticipation

I am glad to have made it to 36! At some point in my teenage, l kept feeling l’ll leave this world at 33! Not that l didn’t like life, but l felt it didn’t like me and l was doing so much to get it to accommodate me! Well, I didn’t but my Gaby did, while I had tried to let myself out at age 30! Anyway, you readers can thus understand why my 35th Anniversary message here was this emotional.

And so on this day when l celebrate my 3rd bonus year (from 33 you know) or my 6th (from the suicide attempt), permit me to share with you blogging pals the main courses l have taken so far, the lessons learnt and those I still ponder about:
The jittery Pupil
The jittery Pupil
  1. It isn’t the absence of fights that mean there’s peace;
  2. Being a dad on the parlour sofa does not make you one for your kids;
  3. Pushing trauma to the back of your mind doesn’t mean it’ll go away or even stay just there;
  4. Your crowd largely reflects you or some big part of: I have met and liked the good, the bad and the ugly;
  5. A smile can mean you are appreciated, envied or simply wished vanished;

    A pupil on a permanent internship in the school of life (hope the cute boil on my nose produces a wink)
    A pupil on a permanent internship in the school of life (hope the cute boil on my nose produces a wink)
  6. You have a right to choose your friends;
  7. Mental illness is for real and it can take all shapes and forms, and even visits celebrity & royalty;
  8. Love truly lies in the hands of the beholder;
  9. You either stand your ground or get trampled upon;
  10. Regardless of the above, humility is one great virtue;
  11. Sometimes it’s so hard to pick up a mirror cause the reflection could as well be too bright enough to blind you;
  12. It’s not how fast you skip through formal education, it is how far your survive in the informal school;
  13. Illusions are mostly what make the world go round;
  14. The more unconventional it is, the more appealing it could sometime be;
  15. We are ere past the inquisition – I put Faith, Hope and Charity on the same lane; I refuse to align behind any Religion;
  16. knowing how to spell a word today doesn’t mean you’ll always know how to spell the same word;
  17. Nothing permanently binds a pauper to that pauperhood;
  18. Nothing permanently guarantees a millionaire his millions;
  19. Insurance is simply business built on fear, but a good one nonetheless;
  20. Some keep their troubles to themselves while others just can’t keep their troubles to themselves: that’s equally democracy;
  21. There indeed can be miracles when you believe – yet it is and should rightly be a choice;
  22. If you truly can’t adapt, stop trying and move on – one day your visit here below will be unilaterally terminated, for you would have outlived any purpose;

    Plain Me
    Plain Me
  23. It’s a 6/6 hole for all so I am made to believe;
  24.  Were really all men born of a woman? I still ponder!;
  25. Are boys better than girls or does it really matter?;
  26. What the heck did pigmentation think when it was leaving some bodies devoid of protection?;
  27. Must medication have side effects?;
  28. I once thought a second was the smallest unit of time, how limited was my imagination?;
  29. Either grow up, think global and act local or remain in your mother’s eggs;
  30. An ocean of knowledge is how l now see it, and the journey across takes a lifetime;
  31. Who do you wanna be? The option is to face that now or latter when it may as well be too late!;
  32. How would you know how you are remembered? That could give me more incentive;
  33. I had thought by now l should be immune to pain;
  34. My future is indeed behind me, it is those 3 boys who call me mama;
    The gentlemen in my life
    The gentlemen in my life
    For them I thrive amidst my challenges
    For them I thrive amidst my challenges

    it is all the school girls l campaign for; it is all the boys l advocate to treat their sisters in all equity and equality;

  35. There are just two words that change it all to unlucky, unhappy, unimportant…;

    My memoir
    My memoir
  36. Baring myself in my memoir was the most dreadful thing l did to my family, the most therapeutic thing l did for myself, and an amazing thing l did for the community.
× The bonus is – l found love, at last deep within me! It’s ok not to have a man or any one validate you, it’s ok to have ‘me’ time, it’s ok to follow your inner GPS, and sure while we’re still at it, it’s ok to have some fun!!!
And you gentle readers and followers, do you mind sharing any of your lessons or leaving a comment on one of mine? Come on now, that’s the only birthday present I humbly ask of you 🙂