I hope that link takes you to the live video rant I just did to explain and sort of manage my anger.
Here is a sum sort of: “I am an angry woman and single parent today. My son’s lenses got stolen in class yesterday in a minute and all I get when I go there today, is more interrogations of my son and I, and a call to calm down. The Dean of Studies says he will talk to the class. In the meantime my son can’t copy his notes, and is already feeling I don’t even know how to put it”.
Don’t know what any one in my shoes will feel about this whole incident, I don’t even know all the feelings am feeling currently
Happy midweek world, while I still sort visa application stuffs ahead of the vip World’s 1st Global Ministerial Mental Health Summit due for next 8-9 in London, and for which I made a mini fundraiser right here on my blog (grateful to have already raised 120 out of 200 usd target), let me share something which made laugh real hard last Monday. Some of my greatest joy as a single parent is the us moments I have with my three sons either individually or jointly lol.
The first two aged 15 (almost lol – remember how bad we wanted to grow old at that age lo) and 12, don’t even want to be seen walking ahead/behind or worse still by me to their school. I have only my Gaby 9 and still in primary 5 to walk with you know hahaha. He sometimes even begs I do it more than the twice/weekly lol. You can imagine how excited he was to see me step out of the cab when I saw him walking back home. I was equally headed home and figured why not step down, walk some with him, and find out how the day went right? Walking to/from school with Gaby is equally revelation/bonding time and he didn’t let me down this time around. He looked really happy and I wasn’t concerned he could be feeling afraid like in my Monday post.
He actually got me laughing real hard and it was so therapeutic given my day at the office. He has this line since nursery school where all he can recall from the teacher is: ” Take your bags and go home”. Here was I thinking Grade 5 will bring a different and more concise answer to a probe about what the teacher said – but nope.
So parents, here you go if you ask them funny questions, as he later explained to me. He said he found that question so funny and for ‘small children’. He advised me to ask more precise questions about the lessons he learned and what the teacher taught the best etc
Now, you have a great midweek and see you on Friday as I get into alternative treatments using a recent experience…
When you look at Gaby’s smile can you tell he was afraid? I am so happy I walked with him to school on his first day of school and could sense some anxiety in him as we got into his school. His grip of my hand firmed up and he became so quiet. He was moving into a new class -G5, and was probably wondering how it was going to work out. I asked him how he was feeling ( not good to ask them what’s wrong or embarrass them by saying they are acting up etc), and he frankly told me he was afraid. Wow, the Gaby I thought I knew? Afraid of a new class? Wow really – as in what can we really know for sure right?
To make matters scary again for him after I had tried my best to make him face the fear and near overcome it, we just discovered the class teacher is the same who taught G4 last year and with whom he didn’t get along for the few days he spent in his class. Mr D is a ‘no nonsense’ teacher who even spanks oh my. So we quickly agreed on Gaby’s best option being that of greeting Mr D and behaving better in class, and we see how that goes. Gaby agreed with me that Mr D was not spanking those who were not rowdy in class and who did their homework. We had a plan and I had to help him out each day to the best of my ability…
And that is how I have added home teacher to my list of daily occupations, trying to get up keep up and even slightly ahead why not lol.
Current feedback: He likes his new class and teacher because the latter doesn’t spank him. He answers questions in class and is more attentive than playful and distracted, although his buddie from last year got moved to the 5B and he kept in 5A, he is getting to make new friends and can still play with buddy A at break time. At this age, such stuffs definitely matter big time lol
My point or prayer is that especially with our children who sometimes seem they got it all together, when they are transitioning, we should walk the journey with them. Walking that phase may be driving them/dropping them off each day for a few days or a week before they start taking the school bus, and listening to them/asking them how they feel everynow and then. And this is taking care of their mental health too, teaching them it matters and they can trust us to tell us whatever is going on in them at any moment…
Here is to a great week of bonding and listening between parents and children
With the above clip, and in light of this week’s theme on my blog about children and their amazing talents, I wish to introduce OTANG The Rap Princess from Cameroon Africa.
Its been just 3 months since I discovered this free style of hers on Facebook…and you can tell I was mesmerized to the point of contacting her manager to offer pro bono legal services for when the big deals start coming lol – and bet ya they are here already. Miss OTANG DA GAME CHANGER is already the “Brand Ambassador of the Voice of Hope International Foundation”.
Otang and Street kids
Otang and her father+manager how sweet
Recently on promotion in Yaounde the capital city – invited to some prominent shows and all such great platforms, she took time out to reach out to the less privileged kids on the streets.
And so, her EP was recently released in grand style, and is currently making waves in Cameroon.
OTANG is a brand and voice to be watched and I hope some big labels sign her on early before the deal skyrockets…read more about this Game Changer on the awesome 237Showbiz site right here.
OTANG is my heroine no joke, I can’t wait to meet her in person and get my own selfie while the celebrity train is still within my reach o
Hello world, wow another week is here and boy am I happy the three muskeets started off school great and am doing my best in this all. There is so much to be grateful for as parents me holds, but above all as it stands, I am immensely grateful to have my 14 years old son for a barber. He not only shaved me, but he did shave his brothers’ own too.
And how you may wonder did it all start? A few days ago, I noticed he spent a lot of time at the neighbour’s. He don’t usually do that and so I was curious. It was then his brothers told me he goes there to learn how to shave. And to think he had been doing like he was sneaking? Oh my boy, probably thought I was going to be ‘mad’ at him or whatever. But hey anyone here will be ‘mad’ at their boy for learning a new hustle and one which will save you all some time and money? I mean this is healthy hustle, not drugs pushing so why wouldn’t I encourage that?
And to say he is gentle and careful is an understatement. He was so grateful the neighbour trusted him with his appliance…oh my lord help me but I have to buy a complete shaving kit before the month is over lol…
And I share this to encourage us parents in here to let ‘the children tell/show us what they can do’.
When I was growing up, I remember keeping to myself and my friends all over anywhere but far from home. When I heard the sound of my dad’s ride or my mum’s voice, I shouted ‘order’ and that was the code word for everyone at home to adjust themselves and even get ‘lost’. Remember that tagline ‘Children should only be seen and not heard’?…well in my home it sometimes felt like even to be ‘seen’ was calling for ‘trouble’ hahaha
So, starting a new week us all, may we parents/guardians/aunties/uncles and all in between, encourage and nurture our children/wards to be the best they can be at pretty much any thing they are good at especially if it wouldn’t land them in trouble with their soul or the law hahaha
Say this has been a bugs bunny week so far… My musketeers started a new academic year on Monday and well supermom don’t come with super powers oh me…
So, on Sunday Sept 2, after the family meeting and checking all blablabla, I mean Alain had even shaved my hair same like theirs as you can see in our photo (that’s a post on its own), I just wished for some peace. But hmm, what you said???
They had other plans and all I kept getting were reports and wails and all. No energy to shout or threaten, I quickly decided to motivate with some cash…that is…I set the bar high in exchange for a 100frs (not up to a dollar or euro bey hey that huge for them lol) payment.
I said he who could win all 3 rounds of a certain game could come and get the money. While waiting, I got me some peace…they needed all their concentration to play and hopefully win all three rounds; and you can guess if anybody did win hahaha
So, was I smart or what? I needed peace and I got me some peace…they played with each other instead of fighting with each other…ok I compensated with a yummy dinner ahead of back to school on Monday September 3rd.
Be inspired and motivated us all, the journey can only get more exciting with a little creativity hahaha
Today, I want to share how on two separate occasions, the best I could do to spare my ‘sanity’ further density was to join in the ‘fun’.
One day, while I was preparing to go out to the farm in another city, I thought they were out there doing their laundry as we had agreed, only for me to get out and find the one and only Gaby with a car made out of a sardine tin. He looked so innocent and offered me to try it out. I held the rope and flashbacked to myself at that age or younger – making cars like that or with sticks and wheels was really trendy then. I enjoyed that brief moment and just shrugged at the fate of the laundry hahaha…
Two weeks later, I stepped out of the kitchen to find out same Gaby had abandoned his laundry to go play outside.
I love doing laundry myself and I just decided to call him and do it with him – sparing my nerves some lol… He came with two buddies, and before I knew it, his friends were even more into the laundry foam than ourselves hahaha.
Anyways, in both scenario, breathing, joining in and letting the moment be, did really keep my ‘sanity intact’, and I didn’t ruin my voice shouting hahaha.
I therefore wish to inspire and motivate all parents and guardians in here, to sometimes realize that their ‘sanity’ is primordial, and that whatever is going on shall come to pass. If a choice can be made, choose the option that spares you your sanity hahaha. I am indeed ever grateful for all.
Barely 30 minutes ago they were manning up to each other lol
It’s been a while since I shared any shenanigans from our Home Inc, and so I just felt to start this week with one. You know as a parent you have to get that discerning spirit to know how to run the affairs in the Home Industry, and how, when or why to get involved guys’ wahala. For me as a single mother, it is even a little complex because I may have to intervene the mama way, and then the papa way – or could I just let them fume it out sometimes?
I preferred the third option one Saturday morning a few months ago when I was still on my long spiritual journey. One of the things I was fasting from was from anger, and so I couldn’t allow myself the luxury of asking them – the bickering boys – to shut up. I can’t for the life of me remember what was the issue, but I know tempers were up that morning, Gaby spoke so menacingly and David was fast approaching him. I decided there and then to just go close to without saying a word. I actually needed for them to spit out all the energy and fume it out before chilling some. When they chill, I can then rationalize the whole saga, we make peace and then draw conclusions, but otherwise no way. I also like leaving them sometimes to ‘man it up’ and ‘fume it all out all’ that way all the challenging emotions they feel at the time, get felt and faced. Cutting someone short when they are fuming may not be the best and as a psychotherapist I know and uphold same.
After they had therefore ‘manned it up’ and ‘fumed it out’, I gave each of them a glass of water and put two chairs behind them. We had a discussion and then made peace. I could still feel so dense energy in the air and so gave each person some chore to distract and help them chill more. Bottom line, they actually helped get the breakfast ready and we all sat down to a lovely breakfast with gusto.
And that is how sometimes the right technique can save the day in our industry and we continue to live, love and laugh ever after lol. It is vip for parents to not sweat the small stuff, or resort very easily to making the energy around more dense using whips, slaps etc, even though such methods may seem tempting and ‘provide faster solutions’. My sanity being at stake more often than I’ll appreciate in the Home Industry, being creative is imperative for me.
Be inspired all you parents and single mothers in the Bsphere
mum, author, mental health advocate, therapist, inspires & motivates with personal experiences