Tag Archives: Choices

What do you as a Parent or guardian do in the following circumstances? My real life and tough choices…

Gaby will finish me

  1. You ask them kids to do their laundry on the veranda while you are in the kitchen. You get a call and when you turn round you see one of them like that. Your first impulse is to take a picture to immortalize the moment, then I flash-backed to my own youth and saw myself not even at home but in front of the school taps while everyone studied. I at least kept my panties on and I stopped doing that at age 7. He is 8 years. Some say I should skin him alive, others say to pray hard, others say to talk to or with him, and one laughs loud saying therapist heal your own son, there is likely some ADHD there. What you advice my gentle readers and followers?
  2. img_20180211_131550-2056543338.jpg
  3. You come back home and find some neighbourhood kids invited by your son to play baby football in your living room. You see proof of what he does with his exercise book sheets and how he treats his school bag all the time. Well, I let them play because at least I get to see him, he gets to forget about TV (not that I have any), and he develops camaderie and learns to lose without fighting. On the down side, they finish and leave all that paper and chalk drown on the floor for you and you get to shout out your lungs before order returns. What will you do gentle reader and follower?Gaby peeling peanuts for soup
  4. You grill groundnuts for soup and you give him to go out and peel them so you can make the paste. He does just that but he eats up near half of that. Times are hard and you were hoping the 2 cups you had could make a pot of soup to last 2 days fora family of four for lunch and supper. I have explained to him previously why he shouldn’t eat dem groundnuts. Well, I shrugged, and decided I was better off doing that myself next time unless I could give that to a bigger child. I explain to him again why he shouldn’t eat them up especially in tough times like these. Can’t recall if I was any better or worse at his age, or if anyone even gave me such a chore in the first place. And you?
  5. You are once again convoked to David’s doctrine school (just friday I was in his school) where he has accumulated three absences although he leaves home each Sunday morning for doctrine he himself chose to attend. He knew it was a three years program although he is by this second year already failing with his grades and attendance.What do you do? Beat him up, withdraw him or let him continue to do whatever he wants? I give him 200frs each Sunday and tbt am getting tired with the whole thing too. Yet, I don’t want to stop him from having or making that experience. Gaby didn’t opt for that, while Alain is already done with his from a school where he had only a year of doctrine. I give him some work as punishment when he returns, and ask him to write a 700 word essay about the whole saga not leaving out the resolutions. I can’t go and sit there with him and still get to do all I have to do with and for them…my me moments are near getting threatened completely lol;
  6. You have sworn not to buy flip flops again nor a pair of shoe before school breaks out. Yet you feel so sorry for Gaby who has no flops again Lord knows where each goes to, and his lone pair of Shoes already looks so haggard. I confess I recognize that child and the genes he inherited And so, .I decided today after laughing at myself, not to bother swearing any never again around. I consoled myself by getting a dark chocolate bar from the market. Chocolate indeed is an anti-depressant unless any proof to the contrary…

Dear Readers and Followers, some of my quirps and muse as a parent and single one for that matter… ever grateful for my support team and journey to holistic wellbeing via different mental wellbeing plans…Yes We Can…we always try to find the Fun in the dysFUNction… (thanks Linda for the inspiration)

Have a great week


1 Whole Week 4 just David & I

That was in David’s School

Hello world,

Wow I just spent a whole week with David.

David is my Shepard; David is my King; David is my gentleman. David opens the door for me, David likes insisting on the dinning table: ‘after you mama’ and when I ask why he’ll say because it is ‘ladies before gentlemen’. I don’t want to bother his young and fresh mind on what sometimes goes on in the ‘bigger world’. David is my second son aged 10, and he didn’t have an Easter Break per-se because they in final year of primary school had preparatory classes in school daily from 8-12 pm.

Those particular shorts of his I have begged to have them given me to fix but nada

And so hmm, that is how David and I came to have a whole week to ourselves at home. I had left his 2 brothers in Buea when I went there to savour Dyane’s epic memoir. Ok, my plan had been to send the three of them to Buea for the Easter break before I knew David wasn’t going to have a break. Now, during the first week of that break, Alain had opthalmologist appointments and now wears glasses, and Gaby the star had a tummy rumble and a wound under his foot which he picked up from one of his many adventures in the neighborhood barefeet of course – oh poor me.

With David, you talk less, do more,  and appreciate silence and art more than all. He loves , cooking, drawing or watching one comic or the other. He also has a like minded friend in the neighborhood who goes to his school too. They often hole up in our home after school and draw all those characters they see.

I made it a point to have dinner with David everyday and to help him with any assignments. I thought of what else to do with David, and realized I could start by walking with him to his school. The last time I had walked with them (Gaby is in that school too), was at least 2 months ago and that was a quick dash.  

Last Thursday therefore, althought having a hectic day ahead, I decided to walk with David to school. We walked mostly silently, enjoying the breeze and birds chirping , with me making not so successful attempts at conversation. Yet, David was smiling all the way and I later realized he was just happy to have me all to himself and walking with him to his school. When we got there, he asked me to buy him something to eat (we hadn’t had breakfast before leaving, happens sometimes). I also decided to have whatever he opted for so as to taste for myself what they eat in school.

David was so happy he became talkative, introduced near his entire class to me and then em – wished me to enjoy my meal. He wanted to go on with his friends now.  My entire day was set to be yummy, nothing could wipe the sweet memory of our walk to school and his joy at introducing his mates to me.

A walk and a sandwich was all it took this day. When I asked David on the eve of his brothers’ return while we had our last quiet dinner together,  what he liked most about our ‘home alone’ days, he said the best thing was my walking with him to his school that day, and my not being so stressed out the entire week.

Oh these kids, not only do they notice but they also have their own peculiar benchmarks. Alain the first will shrink if I offer to walk with him to his school for example, and Gaby the last will not be bothered. No I think he will find my presence by his side restraining since he plays as he walks and stones play with him too.

All in all, although I had hoped to have this Easter break to myself, I have a book I started writing in January and am not finding time to write, I am grateful for what I got – a whole week to bond with David.

If life doesn’t always turn out the way you want, turn yourself out to make the most of it. 

Meet Richie, my wonderful seatmate to the deep south and my hero

Richie Selfie
Richie Selfie

Richie looks at the Selfie and asks who is that cool guy there? He tells me he still thinks he’s got some looks and I add some style too. You see Richie’s necklace? And oh his Ray ban sunglasses? Richie says if I come to South Carolina he’s gonna buy me a pair. Oh, ok let’s start from the beginning right?

Meeting Richie

Bye Arlington VA, welcome Durham NC
Bye Arlington VA, welcome Durham NC

On a probably once in a life time opportunity, after testing of this infamous jetlag, and getting ready for Uncle Sam’s, I am hoping to zoom across at least 5 states. After MD and VA in three days, it was time to head south to NC. It was at the Megabus at the Union Station, that I met Richie. On the queue, Richie appeared somewhat nervous, and to some he could pass for a guy not worth befriending. Well, as it turned out, he landed in the seat right next to me. And to say I had first chosen a seat below, before changing my mind to seat on the top? And what to make of the fact that Richie had missed his morning bus and had had to pay a 5 usd fee to reschedule?

Well, I love people of his age, and Richie’s initial ‘stern’ look wasn’t going to deter me from striking a conversation. He carried a little box and my curiosity asked to see what was inside. ‘Oh my Clarinet he goes, it’s older than you are young lady…’ Richie says that clarinet bring him so much joy, it is simply his therapy and call to pursue to joy…

I wish I could attend Richie's next european tour in July!
I wish I could attend Richie’s next european tour in July!

Richie the encyclopedia

Richie like most people his age, know way more than you can find in some text books. I love listening to them and I think they love having me pay them that attention. Even my boss’s mum often asked after that african miss! Richie told me where we were headed is known as the Deep South. He told me about his 3rd fore-generation who were slaves. Told me what ever he knew of the American Revolution, the Civil war and sure about life in general. ‘Oh Baby, I had a full one going he goes … ‘ ( He called me baby and I smiled in fond remebrance of some other pops I had met in Brugges Belgium). He told me his best hero was a man named John Brown, and this got me looking up this brave American Abolitionist I had never heard of. In short, Richie was good company and the bus ride was cool. I wish I were actually going all the way to deep south Carolina…

With buddy Richie in Richmond
With buddy Richie in Richmond

In Richmond, Richie bought me a coke and two walnut bars, and told me some story about the town. Richie made me laugh so hard when he told me his 100+ home in South Carolina, had been declared a historical site, but he hadn’t qualified for the grant to renovate the fast dilapidating bungalow. He said “Oh sure the house qualified, but not me…”. Richie is a hero to me, having lived in several states and held several various jobs…

Dear gentle readers and followers, I am glad to share some highlights of my US adventure. Another lesson here for me which I am confirming, is that some first looks may be deceiving or even revealing. Richie said I don’t talk like a lawyer, and could woo a tough guy. Wow, anyway I have worked in a prison for six months and I did woo Billy the Bully!

You Deserve it…


I am going to share something very touching I have experienced when the above phrase was used in my regards… Especially in the positve sense 🙂

Honestly, I have been told that I deserve a lot of crap that has happened in my life. And I admit that I have deserved lots of them too because of some of the choices I made, mentally challenged or not…

The difference lies in what the phrase has meant and done to me in the positive context in which it has been used recently…

When used with the negative intonation, I hardly see what positive result it can create. It is more accusatory and even damnatory than ever right? If that be my fate, who cares? So why don’t I just stay and even revel in my crap huh?

But, at the age of 34, in Belgium of all, which is oceans away from my home country, someone first told me I Deserve to be Happy. What? He said I Deserve to express my Emotions? What? He said I Deserved to have feelings, not be ashamed of them, and process them as best as I could. My, he said I Deserved to be proud of trying to live the best life I could, and to stop the self loathing and guilt of Deserving the crap in my life. What mattered he convinced, was not deserving the crap, but making the most of the lessons learnt there from!!!

Seriously, that started a revolution in me, and got me to brand myself merrymarie. And he my Ss Hero, isn’t the only one who has used this cameloen phrase on me. They are in total 4 magic guys, guys I think were very sincere in saying so. Three of them know my bumpy ride through life so far, they know my vulnerability and challenges (mental or otherwise), and yet they still encourage me on.

The fourth angel is almost a ‘stranger’ in my personal shop. Yet he told me I deserved the trip to the US and should make the most of it.

For them, and of course for me and mine, Yes I affirm that I Deserve another better and brighter go at life. I tell everyone who cares to listen, that I am living bonus years and I know what I mean by that. I add that I know it’s just a one way ticket I have on this bumpy ride. Yet I am bent on making the most out of it.

To you all who may stray here, and of course to you my gentle readers and followers, let me brave it too to say You Deserve it… You deserve to be happy notwithstanding any current challenges. There is a silver cloud no matter how dark the horizon.


Although I look and feel gloomy as I fly to the US today, I’ll try my best to make it a memorable trip – maybe it’s even a once in a lifetime opportunity…

P.S: Hmm that flight did something to me, will share a review of a movie I watched, and well I also managed to change in the plane and arrived Dulles looking like…

Check who just landed?
Check who just landed?

What were my alternatives?

Hi everybody, I want to start of the week by sharing some reflections  and choices made over the weekend in response to the above question!

What spurred the questioning?

Scenario 1

I was invited to spend the weekend with a friend and his family in the Belgian Countryside. I am so grateful for those invitations because they take me away from Brussels and the loneliness I could otherwise feel if I spent those weekends alone. Morever, I get to discover another way of life, and share with others too.

However, I also looked forward to being shown around, and to spending some quiet time with my friend. This has however proven to be difficult because of his numerous responsibilities.

Now, was I to spend a warm saturday afternoon whinning and fuming about that? Were there any alternatives? Could I show myself around and even get some fun in getting lost? Could I dare go on the mini highway with the bike I had at my disposal?

Scenario 2

I had planned to return to Brussels after dinner on Sunday! But the way I already felt by Saturday afternoon, almost got me to decide to maybe return in the afternoon instead.

Was I to go back by bus to Brussels so I could wind atleast 3 hours on the road before I faced my lonely abode? Or could I still stay until after dinner anyway, while doing something else with and for myself like developing some projects for the future?

The choices and their outcome

1)  Saturday Afternoon

I decided to go biking and why not show myself around the village! I started off on the track I knew, then I took one I didn’t know. I ended up doing a 5.5 km in a 35 wooping minutes. I can say I had fun. I had fun in feeling vulnerable against the wind on the bike. I had fun in being able to laugh till it hurt. I had fun in discovering paths and places. Above all, I was proud at my improved biking skills and record. Oh my, I don’t want to imagine the miserable afternoon I would otherwise have had if I stayed home whinning!

1b) After dinner on that same Saturday, I took another brief biking tour in another direction and enjoyed 20 minutes of calm evening breeze against the sunset!

2)  Sunday afternoon

I chose to stay in the village until after dinner anyway. I started off the day by doing the same 5.5 km biking tour. I didn’t break my record, but I improved on my biking. I started creating a blog for my brother’s Foundation in the afternoon, and I was just about going for another biking tour when a family visit to a big park was decided. Oh my, this was becoming exciting. Not only had I never been to that park, but we crossed the canal on a ferry to get there. Another first timer out here and definitely much better than the one I had once crossed back home.

2b) I can’t write enough how I enjoyed the walk in that  park. It was so large, with different sections and various soft and wild life. I saw different animals like roosters, sheep, goats and much more, which I really had not seen since coming to Belgium 2 years ago.  It was such a peaceful walk above all.

I am glad I chose those alternatives!

And you gentle readers and followers, when stuck in life, do you think about the alternatives you may have? Do you end up happy about the alternatives you chose? If not, maybe some more reflections before further actions will be more productive right?

I wish us all a productive week in whatever we are doing. Remember there are often always alternatives and the choice is most often ours to make…

Is there any “settling down in this life”?


I guess we’ve all heard of the expression to ‘settle down’ right? It’s probably the short, medium or long term goal of most people depending on the period of their lives when you meet them. For me, it’s been almost a ‘nagging’ goal especially these past years when I have kept finding myself ‘restless’.

I mean be it emotionally, physically, spiritually, intellectually, financially and all – I admit to a cycle of constant mental upbeats. Simply put, I long to ‘settle down’. My longing to so ‘settle down’ (don’t ask me where I was previously settled), has led me through a journey of a most thrilling life lane that even my memoir couldn’t really ‘tell it all’. One of my ‘fans’ (haha let me regal myself with calling him so), told me he thought the book was so crammed with events of all sorts and it was like trying to learn about a 35 year old event in just 360 pages.

Yep people, even in writing that memoir, ‘settling down’ was at the back of my mind. I thought to do so I had to take off my mask, be real me, deal with my past by liberating myself of that ‘shameful burden’, and then start again to make the best of whatever time I had left in this life.

Oh my, it’s not been easy at all. I doubt if ‘settling down’ is just an ideal. And so here we go barely at the start of another year, just when I had thought I was on my way to ‘settling down’ at least temporarily in a new ‘home’, after making the difficult but right for me decision to quit someone I’ll always call my Ss Hero, of even going as far as shaving my hair just so I could feel the ‘settling down’ run though my scalp, I am yet at another crossroads.

I mean, I ain’t even thinking or mentioning my studies, job or otherwise right? We all know it’s important to have a good night’s rest to be able to face all those other stuffs. I have for a very long time been a candidate for a ‘sleep disorder’ of sorts. I had to go to therapy to get to sleep no later than 10 pm and to try to stay in bed even when the sleep left sometimes at 3 am. But now, where do I sleep in the first place?

Simply put, the very landlady my friend Alaina said should be happy to have me in her house, in a comment on a recent post of mine about anxiety and erratic behaviour, told me barely two days after that incident to leave her house – yeah one with a default heating system which I’ve had to endure for over a month now mindful of of my health history (am actually going to the Doctor’s today for some joints stuff). Although and well she came back hours latter to say she was sorry, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s sold the house and it has to be vacated not latter than March 20th and she gives a damn about what’s next for me. She never put it to me that way when I visited before moving in, and so whatever be the case I have to be out of here by then.

We all know how tough it is to find a lease out here in the west especially if you are an ‘immigrant’/foreigner or whatever term you can coin. Now, with the recent stuffs in Paris and all,landlords think three times once they see your face – they ask you for all kinds of guarantee which you probably don’t have – and so if they really want your money anyway, they offer an open stay, one without a contract and at a higher amount. It’s a take it or get lost scenario, and when you’re in such a situation – how do you ‘settle down’?

That’s just where I find myself right now. I do not only need to move, I need to move to a place where I can have a registered address. Ha, talk of an uphill challenge. I just can’t offer myself the luxury of ‘settling down’ now on my ‘misery’. I just have to stay optimistic. There is so much at stake now. I got a thesis to finish and submit by March 01, I have got two demanding jobs to juggle, I have got an e-family to visit, a blog and several websites to update, and most importantly, I have got my boys to hang in for and to look forward to talking to every other weekend – In the Meantime, I have always got me to keep alive the best I can.

I know, that maybe sooner than latter, I’ll be returning to my mother’s house – for that’s my best bet at this ‘settling down’ saga. I am expected, anticipated, mapped out and all. It just makes me want to cry my balls out. Let me borrow my friend Timi’s words in the title of a post an Anatomy of a move back home – I’ll soon be, and hopefully and longingly be, that woman. Maybe that’s where I’ll get to ‘settle down’ some? I want to very much believe so. By then, I mean even now, I have learnt so many lessons in this my visit on mother earth, to see me through that “best settling down venture”.

Dear gentle readers and followers, this week is supposed to be a very special one for me – we’ll all know by Sunday (yeah well some already know in advance, although the one who never forgot to refresh the entire family is gone with the wind – hmm gabs I still so miss you). I am not letting my present predicament ruin anything. I am keeping faith, I am hopeful, and I grateful nonetheless. Do all have a splendid week ahead – aha mindful of the weather.

What is right with these Selfies?

Dear gentle readers and followers, today I want to counter another  post on what I thought was wrong with those -selfs, by writing about what I think is right with some Selfies below. Sure I don’t refer to those selfies we capture as photographs like that ‘palaver’ one Potus (President of US) took at Madiba’s memorial service, getting Flotus(First Lady of US) worked up,  and the world ‘gossiping’. No, I want to look at those ‘internal’ selfies, the ones we could take and examine the negatives in our heads before even deciding to show them to the world.

I came across these two quotes and thought to use them as an introduction:

Positive Self Image
Positive Self Image
Our thoughts indeed hold us back
Our thoughts indeed hold us back


Unfortunately, some of us grew up trusting ‘others’ to show us our image or photograph.  We felt their approval meant we were ‘good’ to move on. Of course, as a child, you naturally rely on your parents ‘acceptance’ of you and what is ‘good for you’. You trust their choices and judgments and you probably grow up in that reliance. Maybe eventually, you replace them with ‘friends’, ‘husband’, and ‘society’ in general too? The one person you find it sometimes difficult to ‘rely’ on, is YOU. This to me is the onset of ‘problems’.

When you get lots of negative feedback in the process, even when that era is past, the ‘stuff’ stays in your ‘upstairs’ and that’s when the real processing begins.  You start feeling ‘awful’ to say the least, and you think you are several things not. Regardless of if you meet other sets of ‘people’ who start ‘praising’ and telling you lots of positive stuff, it doesn’t ‘filter’ up there. You may even just sink further emotionally. It is in this respect therefore, that I thought of looking at some +selfies which could be worth considering seriously.

Only YOU can spare YOU

The quote says it all, I need not add any further, right?
The quote says it all, I need not add any further, right?

Sure I speak from experience and that is the good thing. I am not, ‘that priest (just an example) who will lecture on marriage but who doesn’t have any iota of practical experience to quote’. I wrote so much in my book and l put it all out there so people know what damage I did to myself and to those who seemingly cared, by my ‘upstairs delusions’.

I equally found this quote which advice on  one of the stuffs parents could do to help their kids out:

I really think this could be a good start, though by far not the only
I really think this could be a good start, though by far not the only

Some +Selfies

This is a quote I love from our late Iron Lady!

Easier said than done huh?
Easier said than done huh?

And so, we have some good mental selfies like Self-Acceptance, Self-Worth, Self-Love, Self-Pride, Self-Confidence and of course, the master Self-esteem.

Thus I embarked on a difficult and challenging highroad. That of driving my upstairs to more great selfies than l had ever even thought of. I started by:

Ignoring all what I was told and knew I wasn't, to focus on what I knew I was and loved to be
Ignoring all what I was told and knew I wasn’t, to focus on what I knew I was and loved to be

Next I seriously reflected on and still do reflect on:

Being brave to own my story and love myself
Being brave to own my story and love myself

I definitely now now my true worth and can feel the inner me gradually merging with the outer me. No more need to live parallel lives or fake smiles. I have that self-confidence that l will Lean in and Lean on on this journey and that I can and will help others on theirs too. Frankly, I wait for no one to hold me in any higher esteem than I hold myself. This to me is positive self-pride, nothing to do with haughtiness. Frankly, if you can’t be proud of yourself and your achievements, what good are you to yourself? I know what the bible and whatever says about pride, but I know we all understand what I hereby mean by self-pride right?


I am so grateful and faithful to all what I am learning and doing now in my life. Have always tried to be only that, now I also think it is worth trying hard to impress your own self with whom you truly  spend all 24 hours of your day with right?:

Worth trying hard to impress your own self right?
Worth trying hard to impress your own self right?

What other better quote to resume than this?

Captures most if not all I dare think
Captures most if not all I dare think

And so dear readers and gentle followers of mine, what are your thoughts? Any experience to share or just a like to cheer?



Sanchia Alasia a fearlessly Ambitious Woman of Colour!

Image        A brief visit to her website will give you this:

“Sanchia Alasia is a Labour Councillor for Alibon Ward in Barking and Dagenham and a specialist in French politics.

Sanchia has been selected as one of the six new Labour Party candidates for the European elections in 2014 in the London region.

After working with Labour Party activists to defeat the far right in Barking, Sanchia now wants to use this direct experience to help sister parties fight the far right across Europe.”

Now, here is how I got to meet this fearlessly ambitious woman of Colour, henceforth one of my many heroines.

I was working on a project and I needed some contacts given that I was a few months old to Belgium and well isn’t it most about who you know?

So, I called my boss in Vienna, the one who even came up with the community of fearlessly ambitious women, she gave me some contacts amongst whom was Sanchia.

The hunt began. I literally hacked into Sanchia’s world. Hm, at some point, maybe not because me though,  but she changed her email address. That did not stop me and I just continued writing to her and she kept politely saying she was too busy.

The project came and went but I felt I needed to meet with Sanchia before she became an MEP and I couldn’t anymore right? Hahaha.

We started to get along but each time we thought we could meet, one person’s schedule got sort of jilted and so bam no meeting.

My breakthrough just came last week or so when Sanchia told me she would be in Brussels this week.

Of course you can imagine my panic! I booked two lunch dates in case she could only be available for either of the days. I sent her reminders, shared the events on google calendar and sent hangouts, sms and what have you.

D-Day came and we met for lunch at the European Parliament itself.

The picture surely speaks for itself.

We sure look like sisters from different mothers right? Hm, I sure do want some of Sanchia’s drive oh me who is just a year old in Europe but who is looking at taking it by the horns in a very short time to come.

So, for a woman of colour, ( don’t mind her nationality on the passport because your colour makes a sometimes unpleasant difference) to be this assertful in Europe, is a sure feat not to be overlooked.

I obviously literally interviewed her and here is a sum of what she told me

I also asked her if there was anything I could do to help with her campaign as you can see from the hangout below (ignore the time for that’s how some of us work):

…Ah great I just wish I could help somehow in your campaingn 
Mon, 9:41 PM
Marie A. Abanga
Sanchia Alasia
“The moral support is great

Mon, 9:42 PM” 
If that’s all expected of me, hm she can be sure she may get an overdose.

It is therefore for the above reasons that I consider Sanchia a heroine of mine.

Gentle followers of mine, I always love to hear from you and equally see you share some love and spread the word that there is some good content in my humble and modest blog right?

Paris or paris? Random thoughts of mine


Infront of the Marche au Pousse

With these two pictures, I begin my narrative and analysis. Well, just my random thoughts using some personal experiences. Still doesn’t make sense right? Ok now back to the words or rather question.

Paris or paris? What’s the difference? Ah just the capital letter right?

That’s precisely the differentiation I want to make. You see, I was in Paris during the summer and the first picture was taken in the beautiful scenery of the Montmartre, one of those touristic attractions you sure want to visit.

During that same trip, I visited the Eiffel Tower again, eye-shopped the Champs Elysées (for that’s all I can do except for buying a hot dog maybe) and had dinner in some chic apartment  in the 16th district and spent the night there too.

Wow, there, I got to taste Foie Gras, Choucroute, fromages, various wines and histories and eat with maybe 9 different cutlery and drank from 3 or so glasses. There was one for champagne, the other for wine (sometimes two if you will be having both red and white  at some interval as the meal is served) and of course one for water.

The different courses of such meals need some real courses in the university for their grasp.

Yes, to me that was Paris. The city of love, the city of bling, the city of fashion.

It reminds me of how from the same letter P, you can have Presidents or prisoners.

Now, this weekend, I went to paris as you can see in the second picture. That is the notorious Marché-aux-puces, the kind like we have back home (really reminded me of one called Nkoulouloun), where stuffs are pushed around and displayed on the ground, where you can bargain all you want and buy a few items too at real give away prices.

Yet in that market like in all paris, you are conscious of your bag, holding it tight as I held mine, you take a picture far away and zoom it later because it you dare in the market itself, be thankful to still keep the camera thereafter.

In paris, I visited this time around with a cousin who lives in the ‘banlieue’. She is called Marie (just like me huh).

Marie and I

We grew up together and really get along so well.

We spent the afternoon and evening cooking because on the next day she had one of those ‘njangis’, (a sort of meeting where money is saved by the members and lots of food ate) which Africans and Cameroonians in particular know how to carter for.

We cooked Cooking all night for a meetingand cooked and ate and drank and cooked again.  I wondered if even the concept of ‘should in case’ (where you anticipate uninvited guests or that people will bring plastic bags for take aways), is known and entertained out here.

Later by 2 am, her husband said he was taking me out to the famous 18th district to show me some hot spots. I did not come anticipating such an outing but Marie quickly lent me some clothes and here is the end product:

My brother inlaw wanted to show me Paris by nightIn three hours or so, we visited such spots and I danced myself out. I really did some sports huh!

The Périphérie du Nord is a famous Cameroonian ‘cabaret’ where music from the 60s’ and home food and drink flow in abundance… well as far as you can afford.

The Byblos night club in the ‘Cargo’ (for there is like a huge container full of people and there are four different dance halls and all) is also another attraction of paris.

By the time I got home, all I could do was pass out and this is how I saw it the next morning Hyper tiredas in a few hours later since we actually got back at 6 am or slightly thereafter.

Now, you have the narrative and even graphics, over to the analysis.

I earlier talked about Presidents or prisoners right?

I have had the pleasant opportunity  in life to meet both categories of people.

I have met Ellen Johnson, Dlamini Zuma or even Portia Simpson Miller just to name those few. Yet, I strongly think the chances of my meeting them are better if I am in Paris than if I find myself in paris.

Back home, I worked in the prison and on the streets and made some real friends. I went there like I would go home and I even dated a ‘street kid’ known as ‘Nanga Mboko’ in our parlance.  An extreme, right?

My random thoughts here is that, in life, we could be on either side of the same city. We could find ourselves on the left side of the road today and tomorrow we are on the right one.

I sincerely think that, if we work on flexibility and adaptability, our chances of making it in this life are greater.

I love both worlds. I have very fond memories of both Paris and paris and treasure my encounters with the Presidents as much as with the prisoners. It’s all a matter of choice and living up to those choices.

So, gentle followers of mine, what do you make of these random thoughts of mine?