What do you think of having Relationship goals?


I never before took the seriously but am doing so now. Just like I would have goals for business, health and co, so too am I working on my relationship goals. Here is my Muse on that over at IG this morning

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Muse with MAG: Do you have relationship goals? (20.05.2020) I am working on mine lol. I must not have a partner to work on the goals with, on the contrary I want to set my goals then when I meet someone compatible enough to share my goals with, and hoping they have their own goals, we can roll harmoniously. Never too late to set goals and these can always be revised. Indeed, just like fitness goals for example, they should lead to fulfilment and holistic wellness and not the contrary. This morning, I set me a new fitness goal. I aim to loose 5 kgs in two weeks and that is feasible. I have to do a dry fast from 6-6 for 14 days and then eat only fruits and veggies after 6 pm and before 8 pm, and I have to work out for 30/45 minutes 3 days a week no excuse. I feeling saggy and my left knee has been gigging for over 10days now. I recognize the 8 kgs or so I have added since the Pandemic started is to blame lol…I mean someone is to blame for the Relationship fiasco or absence of a relationship to begin with right? Hahahahahahaha anyways am determined, disciplined and will stay dedicated until I achieve my goals and did work out for 45mins today inspite of the hunchy knee lol. And you dear reader, do you have relationship goals? God bless us all and have a great midweek AMEN #havesomegoals #Iamfreedomandlove #IamMAGnectic #MAGinspires #MAGmotivates #MAGisintentional #MAGtakesthelead #AttitudeofGratitude #makeitmatter #mentalhealthmatters

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Check out my son’s First YouTube channel ooooooo


My son is so hardworking, am so grateful

My first son is 16.5 years old and his father is a priest. I have always refused to hide that fact nor to let him wallow I stigma or pity I whatever form. I have always encouraged him to follow his passions and dreams. I was so excited and supportive when he created his first app, and I am so all over the moon today with the creation of his own YouTube channel. Kindly check it out. The video is less than 5 minutes.

My YouTube channel and its first video( trailer) please check it out

We have been through so much, were separated for 4 good years when I fled for my sanity abroad, but here we arw today.

Thank you everyone

What do you want in a partner?


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Muse with MAG: What do you want in a partner? (04.05.2020) Is this a tough question or what? When should it be asked or even discussed? I think a lot of disillusionment sets in a relationship when the partner we thought we had doesn't have what we want. And if we didn't outline that nor discuss them during the dating or courtship, we start looking elsewhere as in being unfaithful, or we break up with them and then move on to next where the cycle might as well repeat itself. Soon, our mental health gets challenged and depression sets in. Today, I know what I want in a partner and they better know what they want too. We can and should discuss that, agree on what works for us and reevaluate progressively as we grow in our partnership. If a potential partner is not expressive or intellectually stimulating for example, we are not even taking off. And of course there is so much more. Indeed, I have a checklist and what one has called a questionnaire hahahaha. I would love a partner who is not jealous and lets me be and do me, just like I would them o. One who checks their ego often and not try to restrict my freedom period. What a sweet partnership that would be lol. Anyways, dear reader do you know what you want in a partner? God bless us all o AMEN #whatdouwantinapartner? #Iamfreedomandlove #IamMAGnectic #MAGinspires #MAGmotivates #MAGisintentional #MAGtakesthelead #AttitudeofGratitude #makeitmatter #mentalhealthmatters

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Make it Matter


Hello world and happy new year.

I got inspired to do a Facebook live video this morning and hope you can watch it.

I also hope it is spires and motivates someone.

Have a great start to your greatest year yet.

Posted in Journey to Coaching, Marie's Garden

Co-founding and Launching a mega coaching Platform – A Big & Bright Leap of Faith


Hello World, I took a great leap of Faith, as a partner and I on the 16th of May 2017 sat in my office and decided to found our own company called Inspiring Positive Actions Now Ltd. The first maiden event was last week and we were 30 in number. This week we are hoping to have many more and the key note speaker is none other than my mum. Her profile will follow the pitch and you’ll now know for sure who made and make me thick in many ways lol

Here is a business pitch I am working on you know… my dream and vision is oh so so huge it scares even me – I’ll appreciate your feedback:

Hi everyone, my name is Marie A. Abanga and I am the Co-founder & CEO of Inspiring Positive Actions Now Ltd (IPANow Ltd). IPANow Ltd is a mega platform for coaching and training to inspire positive actions in all areas of our lives. Our Programs started officially on the 28th of May in Buea Cameroon with an ice breaker for ladies. This is a nurtured vision, it carries a lot of my passion, determination and dedication. We draw from a rich experience of coaching and being coached; giving trainings; inspirational & motivational talks; and we want to tap into an in existent market segment in a region in dire need of inspiration and motivation with a bid to through personal experience and sharing, inspire positive, remarkable and sustainable holistic actions and transformations. Our goal is not only to carve a niche in the ever budding African Market, but to in a decade be among the global inspirational academies. There is so much potential for a business of this nature in a country and continent waking up to its own human potentials and resources to self stimulate its GDP leading to less reliance on donors and debts. Any investment in our persons and business, is sure to produce returns and the opportunity for assets revaluing and continuous business expansion.

I hope some of you may in 5 years time when I think we should be ready to go public, buy some shares right? And my mum‘s profile:

Mrs Bibiana MBUH TAKU is the Founder and CEO of Diversity Management & Consulting Limited (DMC Ltd)

She is a Master trainer & Instructional designer/Agribusiness curriculum developer

Professional Associations and Social Groups

  • IFC Business Edge Master Trainers network

  • IFC Africa Business Edge Trainers

  • Certified IFC Business Edge Trainer

  • Groupement des Femmes d’Affaires du Cameroun (GFAC).

  • Helen Atabong Asaba’s Foundation for Diabete, Women‘s Emancipation & the Empowerement of the Girl Child

  • Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation for Epilepsy & Mental wellbeing

My Mother My Model
Mum whom I love so much; mindful of all she’s been through with and for me and more

She is based in Cameroon and has had professional experiences in Benin, Burundi, Rwanda, Cote d’Ivoire, Togo, Nigeria, Mali & Senegal and a few european countries like Holland.

She started out her professional career in 1983 with the then American Life Insurance as an Assistant Underwriter and Claims, navigating her way through Pecten Cameroon, going back to school to attend ENAM and graduate as an Treasury Inspector, occupying different positions of responsibility with the Ministry of Finance, returning to Pecten Cameroon, leaving and going to work with Plan International as the Chief Operations Officer, returning once more to the Treasury in Douala, then Pecten Cameroon again right up to her voluntary retirement to set up her Consulting firm in the year 2009.

On a personal note, Ms Taku Bibiana is a dynamic single mother of 3 women the second of whom is Barrister Multipreneur Marie A. Abanga; her only son was called to Glory in August 2014. The Gbm Foundation for epilepsy & mental wellbeing set up in his memory greatly helped and helps her deal and heal from the pain & tremendous hurt of such a loss. She has written several articles, been featured in magazines and been a guest and VIP panellist on shows for various causes she is passionate about.

It is a great honour for us to have her as keynote speaker on Sunday the 4th of June 2017 as she talks to us on the theme: Turning Your Challenges into Opportunities and Thriving.

This discussion is not to be missed, we will listen and learn with Ms Bibiana Taku and Marie (sure like mother like daughter), will also share us some of the biggest lessons she learnt from her mother which have helped her thrived in her right.

Thank you very much
Thank you very much

 

Posted in Journey to Coaching

Some say I took the easy way out: really?


easy way out

Hello world,

This post is a ‘rant-lite’ and also a call to authenticity and responsibility.

Some tough issues I have been dealing with recently especially relating to my holistic health, has provoked this post.

The title is literally a discussion I had last December with one of my former college children ( a local jargon to define children we take under our wings in college – boarding school). We were talking and they said the general buz out there in the bush ( another local jargon to mean abroad cause the notion is you go abroad to work your ass off like a farmer going to a real bush) is that I took the easy way out. I was so taken aback and all I could say then was: “really?”. Later on, because I still love them so much, I took the pains to explain to them why I chose to leave bush and relocate home, as if it wasn’t normal in the first place for a parent to want to relocate back home and be with their children.

I am therefore doing this post as an open reply to the bush buzzers, and an open challenge to all to dare authenticity and be responsible for their lives and choices.

Before I proceed, I will want to state that I did visit several ‘bushfallers’ ( local jargon to refer to those who live abroad) both in Europe and the US before my relocation home in August 2015. When many heard I was planning on relocating, they were mainly wow wow wish we could too. I think it’s also this ‘hypocritical irony’ (forgive my choice of words) that set me off when I heard the bush buzz.

I am an unconventional lady and I have taken off my mask. I try 97% of my time to dare authenticity especially since May 2011. I attempted suicide and know desperation; been near bed ridden for 2 years taking one meds after the other. I hit 115 kg (250 lb or so) at one point in life and felt so bad; really I should have taken an easy way out then had I known one. So, when I eventually fled home for bush leaving my boys behind, that could easily and maybe even logically be seen as choosing the easy way out right?

Look at some of the things I did or considered which should have literally prevented my relocation back home.

  1. I published my very unconventional memoir publicly declaring myself an adulteress and Al… Wow, what humiliation? What disgrace?;
  2. I published another memoir on my brother’s journey with a mental illness as if his having epilepsy wasn’t ‘stigma and shame’ enough!;
  3. I admitted to being a victim and propagator of domestic abuse in yet another unconventional memoir!
  4. And then bam, I published my own personal journey with mental challenges!!!
  5. Above all I had no sustainable plan lined out especially when my long term goal was to take my boys and live with them in our own home and raise them on my own!!!

So, considering the above, how was I anticipating my come back? How was I going  to face the public back home? What was I thinking? That it will be a smooth ride? That I will just fit in and resume from where I left and just find some economic, emotional and even mental stability? Physically I was in top shape, had succeeded in dropping and keeping off over 40kgs – so yes there was surely an easy way out maintaing that physical trend but was that all to it?

Look at what I was giving up from the new life I had managed to forge abroad:

  1. A wonderful relationship with a gentleman, one I still regard as my Super super Hero;
  2. ‘Illusive peace and tranquility’ from not having my children meaning I can do pretty as I want and go where and whenever I please (I mean, I know many bushfallers who send their kids back home to be raised by their parents for various reasons including the cost of childcare out there – the peace and tranquility I got from leaving and living without my own was ‘illusive’ – I don’t know about others);
  3. Some great relationships which could only be tended if I stayed in bush, lots of adventure like even learning to ride both a manual and motor bike, in short a new and more ‘modern’ way of living!;
  4. Insurance coverage which gave me access to the hospital, basic medications, doctors and specialists like the dentist – one I haven’t seen since I returned for lack of coverage and means or need!;
  5. And who knows, I may have worked my ass real out (I wasn’t already doing badly and could send some euros back home every now and then), and taken my sons over after maybe 3 -5 years (what they would have turned out then and how our relationship would have evolved, I can’t guess);
  6. The possibility of more stress due to the drop in standards of living, less income, difficult relationships, readapting to a culture after mixing up other bits from different parts of the globe…

So, reading all the above which I am greatly limiting because my intention with the post as I earlier said is to invite people to dare authenticity and be responsible for their choices;

DO YOU MY GENTLE READERS AND FOLLOWERS ALSO THINK i TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT?

 If that really is an easy way out what I have chosen, then why don’t many more take it instead of playing out their lives on social media and whining all they can behind their screens?

I am grateful for my choices; I am grateful for all the chances; I am grateful for all the changes

I don’t think any is an easy way out, the grass very often seems greener on the other side until you are stuck on it: I chose to relocate having found who I was looking for – and that is ME; I chose to dare authenticity and say it as I see and live it;

Have a great mid week o

Easy way out quote

Posted in From Around!, Guest Posts, Journey to Coaching, Marie's Garden

Facing My Fears, series 4 BY ASHLEY ROSE!


I started posting the facing fears series of my friend ASHLEY ROSE Ashley Roseand I am glad to be doing the fourth and last one today.

For recaps; we could just follow the clicks 1, 2 and 3.

In the fourth and last post in these series, Ashley shares with us how she over came her fear of  – hold your breath – yes of becoming a writer.

Woah, how we often think some things are so natural. Read on:

“I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder roughly five years ago. Since being diagnosed, I have been on this journey of facing my fears. Some of my fears have been snakes, bridges, moving, and lately I have been facing my fear of becoming a writer. I know you may be thinking that is not really a fear, but it is. One of my friends put it best; she said she has not only a fear of failure, but also a fear of success. According to the book “Dancing with Fear,” the author describes fear as paralyzing and stifling future endeavors. So terrified to death, I started putting myself out there for the entire world to see. Okay, I don’t have that many followers, but you get my drift. Writing is baring ones soul and becoming vulnerable to others. I have always felt called to write and ever since I can remember I have wanted to write. So this is part of my current journey of becoming a writer.

Conquering my past: In the 8th grade, the entire class was asked to write down three professions that we wanted to be when we grew up; I wrote that I wanted to be a writer, teacher, and zoologist. I remember being so proud to show my list to the teacher, but feeling very discouraged when she looked at it and made a disapproving face. My heart sunk down to the ground. Why would she not encourage me to write? Am I that bad of a writer? I made it all the way to 8th grade with mostly A’s and B’s. Why does she not like my chosen profession? Mind you, my entire friends pretty much all put down that they wanted to be teachers. Yes, I have always been a different child. And no, I have not always embraced it. So for the first time putting myself out there and in my eyes, getting rejected, I started to rethink my destiny. To make a long story short, I decided to trade that profession in and try to find a more “realistic” career. Sadly, all the careers I have tried are all washed up and it’s just me and my pen staring at each other. My pen never left my side and neither did my true dream.

Keeping a journal: I toyed with the idea of writing a novel about four years ago, but procrastinated mid-flight. I decided to start journaling as much as possible. I started to have that feeling of pure joy again. Finishing a poem or discovering an ah-ha moment while writing was exhilarating. I had not felt this way since I was 13 years old. I wanted more of this feeling, so I continue to journal and create poetry.

Writing down every idea: After three years of journaling, I became so addicted to venting that I was writing more and more often. I learned how to get all the negative thoughts out of my head onto paper and then turn the negative thoughts into positive ones. With my mindset getting stronger and my need to write becoming deeper, I decided to write whatever came to my head. Some of these ideas were made into songs and rough drafts for books that I intend to write. My spirit lifted every time I created something. My creation was a reflection of me and I found a profound meaning in my life. My dreams were planting seeds.

Start finding gigs: After being a counselor and nanny on and off for the past eight years, I decided that I was burnt out from both professions. I no longer had any more energy to change one more diaper or help one more person with their problems. It was time to start living the dream I always envision. I was worried because I felt that I was getting too old to change careers, but the desire was much stronger than logic. I made a resume geared toward writing and started sending it out. Then I joined several online sites and started the writing process. My niche was writing about relationships, which I would not have been that great at if I did not have my experience as a counselor. Things started falling into place and more jobs lined up.

Published: Seeing my first article published online was amazing. I never thought in a million years that this long lost dream would ever come to pass. It will probably be the cheesiest article I will ever write, but it is mine. I knew at that moment that this is just the being of a long fulfilled journey that is ahead of me. I felt deep down that I am a writer. I am a professional writer. I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn, but I am so thankful that I faced the fears in my life and decided to follow my dreams. My seeds are now starting to blossom and I could not be happier.”

Source: Dancing with Fear: Controlling Stress and Creating a Life Beyond Panic and Anxiety; Paul Foxman, Ph. D.

What do we think of Ashely Rose and her series? How motivating are they?

I was so grateful to get these from her and I wish I could get more people share posts with me on my platform just like Talasi from Braver than Before generously did a while ago. Come one come all this is a very guest friendly platform!

Posted in Marie's Garden, Mental Health Advocacy

It’s my Birthday: Reviewing some of them down the road


wp-1483901281604.jpg
My  3 Musketeers and I, what more could I ask for?

Oh Happy day, oh happy day… Oh happy day, oh happy day…

Another birthday is here, wow wow wow – look at who’s made it this far?  This year is a far different year because I think I have come full cycle… not that life will not make and mar me henceforth or anymore, but I have since the 10th of October last year made a conscious turning point in my life henceforth… No more consciously messing up and letting myself be messed up so help me God… I am therefore celebrating this day with my boys in our own special way – yes I DESERVE IT

I flash back to my birthday in 2014… I did a youtube; sort of familiarizing myself with baring and sharing my whole self – body and soul out there in the world; and oh my that was scary especially back then…

Then in 2015, I was further tamed to attempt some humour, and I came up with 36 lessons learned in 36 years… hope you have a look right here… A few days before then, I had just made one of my greatest discoveries – I found love oh my…

37th-birthday
A very pleasant surprise, modest but 

Last year, that is 2016, I was a guest on a show on that day talking about women and love and life; and hmm I was feeling soso until the host surprised me with a birthday cake… That warmed me up for the rest of the day…

With this dear all, I humbly recall and share some of my journey especially on my birthday… Wishing us all the best…

Thank you
Gratitude all the way

 

Posted in From Around!, Journey to Coaching, Marie's Garden

Tell: How was your kick off?


That was 45 mins into the early am of Jan 01, 2017
That was 45 mins into the early am of Jan 01, 2017

Hello world: So, so far how far as we say in my country? Another new year has upped and met us, and sure we kicked it off differently. So, while I ask and even beg of you who hop by to tell us in the comments how you kicked it off this new year, let me share my own story and the why behind that tough kick 🙂

Robin Sharma’s Predictions

Truth be told, I love reading and listening to all these motivational and transformational Gurus (yes the likes of Les Brown, via Lisa Nichols to Ekhart Tolle); and I take their predictions for mini gospel.

I got an email with Robin Sharma’s predictions for 2017 and this is a summary:

“It’s vastly important that you start the next 30 days with deep focus, high passion and great game.

The way you begin 2017 will set up how brilliantly you live it.

So definitely make a few new decisions and steps to get the new results and dreams you want to experience over the next 12 months.

Nothing happens until you move Marie”. 

Although I had made up my mind the day before to work out on the 1st of January especially as I was going to do that on my mum’s indoor bike, I had already on waking up started to find excuses not to. I told myself I had done another 45 minutes just on the day before and my muscles ached, that the midnight fireworks had disrupted my sleep and my brain needed more rest… But then, I read his email and I got up, dressed up and sat on that bike – which as many will agree is not the best of work out friendly apparatus around 🙂

Anyway, glad I pesevered cause 45 minutes later I could smile and even be happy with myself. That was my impressive kick – off…

Are kick offs that important?

I am no football fan but I know about the kick off ritual. I just don’t know for sure the exact pscycho-logic behind kick offs. But, as we are having them and loving them, it probably means they are a good thing. Maybe the way the kick off sets the tempo impacts the game? Anyway, I am looking forward to a great year and am gonna strive to stick to some wise predictions like Robin Sharma’s above…

And now over to you my gentle readers and followers? How did you kick off this new year and why? Thanks for sharing