There was an accident since Wednesday; now one person in a coma since yesterday. I can’t give more details, distraught. I have faith in prayers and believe in angels. Thank you for your moral support and kind thoughts.
Hello world, so this was me at the IMA gatherings for mothers yesterday to talk about singlemotherhood. It was awesome although the media guy didn’t come and so did many invitees. Due to security reasons ahead of today which is ‘national unity day’ in Cameroon_ the event was ordered to be over by 6.30 pm. In Africa and maybe elsewhere, when you say an event is due to start at 3 or 4 pm, well people start trickling in by 6 pm. I thought I was running and I took my time because I had decided to do so henceforth, and yet I was still the first person there.
Happy weekend to us all
No one can take your place oh mother
If you be mad the child still hopes
Yet you may not be conscious about that and it hurts
Nevertheless we all think of you our mothers
Most of us mothers know what is unconditional love
We felt it right from within the womb
Hence we may find it hard to think the baby ain’t ours forever
The seasons change, the years go by
That baby could become a mother too
If you mother never let her be, never taught her to love yet let go, ain’t that an unhealthy mental cycle in place?
Oh mother, you who so give your all
To love them all or almost
Relationships sometimes so complex
Challenging and yet nurturing
Dread and dare and darling all dished out
Is that how it works for all? Could that be nature’s doing?
I wish there were a mother’s manual but I think flowing from the heart is best… No matter how mixed the signals, mother is all we have, motherhood ain’t never an easy hood
Love your mothers nothing withstanding, it ain’t easy for neither them nor us – above all take care of your mental health – I attend the IMA Gold gathering with my first son and I am super excited he’ll be seeing me on stage for the first time
Hello world, this is a short post but I hope the title and graphics tell us it not one to be taken lightly. I will as usual use a personal incident to illucidate why I so value alone time.
One day a few weeks ago I returned home from seeing off a friend and there was smoke in the kitchen. It later on turned out my last son Gaby had turned the burner on and gone off to take a shower and then forgotten about what was on the stove. David had put some rice to warm us as I was leaving, and after he turned it off, Gaby taught he hadn’t done done a good heat up. When I came back, already stressed from some incident during the day, I was so angry I was shaking… all the what ifs were running wild in my head… I instinctly gave David a slap and just realized that wasn’t the best approach… I had tears in my eyes and the boy was apparently so shocked he burst into tears too… I quickly went and locked myself in my room and put some soothing music… I stayed in there for like 45 mins and although they all came knocking on the door, I had to calm down completely before letting them in. We talked, made peace and I was so sorry. I was however glad I locked myself up and got that alone time…
We need alone time especially to care for ourselves, our mental health, take perpective etc. I call them My Me Moments and used to plan them and structure them and all… but now, even when I wake up and have some precious 15 minutes before the boys barge in, am grateful…I take even blogging breaks when I need to and I don’t appologize for saying No I can’t go with someone because I’ll rather stay by myself home… Life can be so hectic, these alone times are so needed to better position oneself
And you gentle readers and followers, any thoughts on alone time?
Hello World, the first time I was invited on the IMA Series (Inspiring moments with Amy), I didn’t feel as excited as I do now. Actually, a few days ago (May 8th) while still in Dakar which I so dared, I received the following from Amy:
” Dear Marie,
I trust this mail reaches you in good health.
How have you been? I trust GOD all is well.
I am inviting you to be a panelist on the IMA GOLD monthly’s second panel this May 19, 2017on ‘Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Mother’s Guide’ which seeks to illustrate reasons why single motherhood is prevalent at such times, deliberate on strategies of single mothers’ success to bring up the children in an upright manner and pinpoint the challenges single mothers face daily to raise their kids. Knowing you are an all round contributor to peace, human rights and coaching’
This topic seeks to illustrate the worth of the mother at home, and her multi tasking abilities to do a lot at a blow. It will be great having you share your enriching experience to help single mothers benefit from your testimonies.The ‘Making Mothers Matter’ enriching encounter will address single mother hood issues, the 21st century mother and the ever evolving technological trends which keep her away from her motherly duties. Why recognize a mother talks with principal aim to enrich the relationship between parents and their children. “
Why the excitement?
- Why – simply because I am a very proud single mother period!!! I am aware of the challenges, I have faced quiet many but I wouldn’t rush this stage of my life nor wish it to pass any fast. I am making the best lemonade I can and already reaping profits from this business – the joys are oh so joyful;
- I will inspire many I know who are still so overwhelmed and even ashamed of their situation in life… even those who ‘choose’ single motherhood deliberately, still deal with some melancholy and all which in my opinion isn’t healthy to one’s mental health at all – like many other things we do in life, if we don’t have it figured out or on check in our minds, the output can be shaggy or even lead to an outright meltdown;
- I love coaching on an audience scale instead of doing one on one. When I do the one on one, I get carried away too much into my client’s story, and well I spend more time with just one person instead of talking to many for the same time and then answering questions from the audience;
- To top it up, am very excited at seeing my dear Amy’s projects flourish. She is so talented and has so many ideas and projects. It is my honour to help in whatever way I can and she rightly considers me one of her big fans. I have been known to motivate her even on her sick bed;
What is there to be proud about single motherhood?
- Single mother is a mother like every other mother, but a mother who does it singlehandedly. Some single mums have their families to help them like Obama’s mother had, while others don’t. Doing such a job for me deserves pride and not prejudice;
- The fact that inspite of all the odds, you get to deal with the shame, guilt, pity, loneliness, and many more challenges to be this single mother each new day for as long as it lasts, is a feat to be proud of;
- By agreeing to go on that platform, I want to help the single mothers present and those watching from their homes to heal & deal:deal & heal
I will sure keep us all posted how this goes, it’ll sure be a boost to my mental health and my coaching journey.
Here is a picture film of the Pink edition in March on Female Entrepreneurship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSX6RNoP6Eg&t=327s (My face is at 6.40-6.42) lol
Have a nice week us all and happy mid month
E stands for: Emotional distance. Reduce the amount of personal information you share. Limit the topics of conversation.
M stands for: Move out of the house, or away from the area.
O stands for: On your terms. Visits and other interactions are your prerogative.
N stands for: Not answering, or selectively answering, calls, letters, e-mail.
Be not ashamed to cry
You can’t store it all forever
Crying is no sign of weakness
Humanness if you ask me
An emotion just like others
Be not ashamed to cry
When it hurts so bad
When the knee gets knocked
When the mind goes mad
Crying can help inside out
Be not ashamed to tell
When you’ve gone thru stuff
So shameful you want out
Telling could bring such help
And who knows who you help
Be not ashamed to write
Write it all for you or us
So much therapy if you try
You have to take a step
Ignore stigma and shame
Be not ashamed to read
Read yours and ours
Keeping the brain as busy
Just like you should your body
But be not ashamed of your pace
Be not ashamed to hope
Even when all seems hopeless
The last beat maybe bring a break
Hope that break could lead to a breakthrough
What is life without hope?
Be not ashamed to love
Love yourself and others
Try and try and try
You never can tell when
One more time could be deal
Be not ashamed to be You
P.S: This has personally helped me a lot. I remember hearing Obama and other big figures say asking, crying, reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness but of strenth
Dear World, on this last day of April and a Sunday befitting for sharing a prayer, I share the prayer I was inspired to write for my sons and put up on my ‘War Room’. Whoever has watched the movie War Room will understand what I am talking about. I think you can find it on youtube – here is a link. The fun is, I already had what I call a prayer wall before recently watching that movie, it was actually referred to me when my cousin saw my prayer wall in my room. It is on that wall that I have my personal prayer, our affirmation and rules and etc. I share all this to inspire and motivate. Living is tough, Dying is tough, we need special Grace to cope with both. I am so grateful for the special and Amazing Grace I keep having from my Almighty Father and the support be it directly or indirectly of all those He puts on my path. Sometimes, even a toxic relationship teaches you and helps you so much.
Here is to a happy sunday for us all
Hello world, the weekend is here and as I promised when I started sharing my single motherhood journey, here is the part three on some joys and challenges. The joys outweigh the challenges although for this post I kept the number for pro and con equal.
When you get lemons in life, do the best lemonade you can and look out for profit.
Shalom and happy weekend to us all