Tag Archives: Fortitude

Learning to give David some time to cool down too…


 

That is David doing his things. He loves more of solitary play and drawing, than getting mixed up in brawls due to games with others, or mix ups at home. But precisely, the later can’t be avoided, na not among boys right?

So, yesterday morning there was an issue over chocolate paste and how Gaby took too much. David brought that to my attention while Gaby had stepped out do something. Now, Gaby overheard David tell and quickly told him to mind his own business. His words in french were: ‘Jaloux’ (jealous). Of course David wasn’t pleased and before I realized it they were manning up to each other and flinging more words around.

Gaby knows David’s soft spots and plays with those, going as far as calling him ‘bébé au lait’ (literally meaning milk baby – like weakling or so). I had to step in their middle to avert a fight.

I managed to get David to sit down and take off his school bag, then I rubbed him on his back several times. His heart was beating real fast. After a few minutes, I tried to get him to talk but he wouldn’t. We were all running late and so I desperately asked him if he needed more time to process his emotions. He said yes. He at least identified the emotion of Anger from the chart of emotions we have on the wall, and he told me he felt like punching Gaby even if he loved him very much.

I had to let him be because I realized he wasn’t ready to say any more. He was neither ready to talk with Gaby, not to mention make the customary peace of hugging each other while saying it’s going to be ok, and I still love you. Did I mention the last incident between those two which however gladly ended in a tripartite peace making was on Sunday?

Anyway, I learnt from the incident that, just like I sometimes want time off to process my emotions before moving on, so too do kids. I could in a position of authority threaten him into talking or force the peace making, but was that going to be real? Given that I don’t like fake relationships and actions or reactions, I will not expect that of any other including – even especially my children. I hope by the time he comes back from school he has forgotten about the whole incident. I asked Alain who is in the same secondary school with him, to check on him at break time out of sibling love.

My own sibling story is even tougher mindless the sex and age hahaha

Dear gentle readers, in life in whichever relationship, we have to respect the other and not seek to force them to keep to our pace, relate only in a certain way, or be the one we think is best for them. I share this events in my life, to inspire and motivate with my own reality. It all about seeking a holistic wellbeing and giving your children a balanced and good foundation

p.s: 8 pm 20.02.18 I get back home and the two fight out of the door to be the first to greet me are… yes you guess right: David et Gaby (I actually often confuse their names or pronounce in such a one the one comes when I meant the other). David tells me the anger was gone by short break and he felt fine. He choose peace over conflict and forgave Gaby

Have a great midweek all

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Let’s talk about cooking and eating: My story


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In any type of Kitchen I am ok to go; that’s the joy of being an area girl

I love that picture very much because it represents so much to me. I am cooking no doubt, but I am cooking in a some what difficult condition. Yet, am doing it with love. That is the whole line of my story at least with cooking.

From my earliest recollection of cooking for my dolly, (mud puddings and iced tea with mint leaves plugged straight from the trees lol) I loved the whole process. I got lost in the art of it all and I had fun taking myself so seriously and vital – dolly was going to stay hungry unless I cooked for her. The mockery and shun offs I got from home at the time when I offered to cook for all, only motivated me to want to cook better lol.

I also knew cooking food was more nutritional than buying food because both parents told us so. Above all, my late mami mami loved cooking, and cooking so deli, I just fell in love with cooking.

I cooked for us siblings when mum left, and for near two years when living in a single bedroom with my late brother in our father’s villa, I smuggled a kerosene cooking stove, and some food every now and then, to cook for us in that room turned home for us. You can all imagine this was traumatic but I was grateful to be able to cook for my brother who was ere so fragile and could not stand not eating like I could, much to the annoyance of step mother.

When I got married, I will cook and make little salads and deserts as often as I could. I did it with love, but oh how it started piercing my soul when hubby stopped eating what I cooked for all sorts of reasons.

Today, I am in a very good place mentally and all, and I still cook with all that love. Indeed in Belgium, my little private restaurant was baptized merry tables. Ah I wish I could a restaurant out here for real as a retirement venture maybe? Hmm, I got them talents and ideas in abundance no joke..

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Not so skinny here though

But now, what about eating? Hmm, I was a skinny child growing up, play in lieu of food was an ideal bargain I tried all the time. But then, I used to be forced to finish my plate so I managed to share it with the table, ground my hair, dress you name it lol

When living with my brother in that our room/cell if you may, eating was not my priority. Not knowing when next provisions would come or the chance to sneak out, jump over the fence with broken bottles and go smuggle them in, meant that I had to hoard or eat carefully. You can imagine eating lost all significance to me. Maybe only later resurfaced as a coping mechanism?

Exactly, that’s what eating became to me for half of my marital life. I started eating in abundance, topping all the yummy I cooked with ice creams and other delis from the bakery etc

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Not so genuine smile and weight not appreciated one bit, but helas what can I tell you? on my way to 115

When I hit 115kgs, I knew enough was enough. Breathing indeed became a problem and I had to do something.

I got so angry with myself and the world, I stopped eating period. I hid behing dry fasting from 6-6, to reduce my eating to an apple and a gladd of hot cocoa at night. Needless to say anorexia surfaced and near thrived for 18months until mum threatened then pleaded…

Today, at 77kgs, and with the real and free and lovely me now present, I eat for nourishment and out of love too. Love for me, my body, my children, my family, my guardian angel. I also keep cooking for all with love, conscious too of the effects on my physical wellbeing especially with my RA diagnosis and sometimes very painful reality…when I can’t even lift my hand.

In conclusion, I am especially grateful for all those STILL who eat what I cook with love like my boys, and to all those who understand my pull to their kitchens or loo when I visit them hahaha. Maybe I’ll also take up professional cooking on retirement?

Dear all, while wishing you a happy weekend, may I encourage you to think about why you cook or eat…and to be grateful to be able to do either or both…

Tough times never last but tough people do: Which do you focus on???


Hi world, another week is here and let’s hope to be tougher than whatever tough comes our way this week.

When I got back home from work last Saturday evening, not only was there no electricity, but I was told cooking gas was finished. Here, we use refill cylinders and you buy them every other month or whenever, not pay monthly bills like I noticed out there.

Grateful to neighbour for lending me her sawdust pan

And to Gaby my able assistant for a while lol

I was able to make breakfast of Dodo, eggs and pap for us all, and then moved on to cook some deli yams pepper soup with pork chops so yummy…who cares about the tough time getting to this?

And so dear all, be inspired and motivated when those tough times come in whatever shape, colour, name, face etc

We all have it in us; even if some of us need more empowering help to unearth that toughness,  maybe buried deep within by various situations, relationships …

The awesome birthday gift my body gave to me…ever so grateful


Yesterday was my birthday and I have had a worrisome RA flare since tuesday which left me bed grounded. I negotiated with my body that we even up and around a bit on my birthday. I managed to do a 15 mins mild workout to thank the universe for my mind and body, and then made breakfast and lunch before going into town for some groceries. After school, the boys and I went to the Fun Centre as had been planned since sept 2017, so they could play bowling and other games. We shared a large Pizza and some water for the ocassion, and we all returned home happy and grateful. Am still in bed today, though I was once more able to make breakfast and a quick rice lunch for them. I am so so grateful to my body for this invaluable gift, and for all the goodwill messages. One of the meditation books I use talked of being grateful for our bodies. I always have been sinve my awakening in 2010. Take care of your bodies dear all, have a soul relationship with them, that way you can listen and talk to each other with love. Any pain at that time is a lesson to be treasured. Happy weekend all, just wanted to share this before having a nap. Looking forward to more restored health

Because I am Human


Because I am human, I have feelings

Because I an human, I have thoughts

Because I am human, I seek to love

Because I am human, I seek to know

Because I am human, I want to be treated as one

Because you are human, you have feelings too

Because you are human, you have thoughts too

Because you are human, you seek to love too

Because you are human, you seek to know too

Because you are human, you want to be treated as one too

How do we humans feel?

How do we humans think?

How do we humans seek to love?

How do we humans seek to know?

How do we humans want to be treated?

I don’t know for sure about you

I only know my word and the weight I give it

I try my best not to take things personal

Steering away from assumptions

making myself clear by saying it as it is

Call that sensitive or insensitive

My attitude is all I can manage

With Inner peace as my main goal

Loving is all I seek to do

The how I learn each day

The why I sometimes don’t even know

The when is only now I have

The what is all things living

Because I am human

Painful Past v Fearful Future


past v future

Hiya love are you coming along?

Going to watch wrestling match

The fiercest of finals it is

Super heavyweights they are

Painful past & Fearful future

I am glad this finals is here at last  

To say those 2 cause havoc so bad

Have so far trashed many out even me

Seriously, none my friend will be

I care less who destroys the other

The door to my mind their favourite abode

Is henceforth closed by my bestie NOW

It’s been a long one coming

Let them wrestle themselves away

 

p.s: Who is coming along? I’ve got some free tickets…

Free Fall…Free Rise


Freely Freely you receive Life

Live same freely; be yoked to none

Dare to Feel how Free it can Flow

If you could just aim for

Free Fall … Free Rise

    …

Why restrain my fall?

When I might miss

The treasure at the bottom?

Why contain my rise?

When I might miss

The shooting star at the top?

Nay: Am going all the way for

Free Fall…Free Rise

   …

Ignorance can lead to arrogance

You think below is all but dirt

And so you hold yourself aloof

And pretend no issues u ever get

But I don’t care: no need for flash

I’ll go all 360 for

Free Fall…Free Rise

   …

The best lesson is often

in the depth and height

Feel it all the way

whichever it may

Free Fall…Free Rise

Don’t Live In Vain.


Source: Don’t Live In Vain. 

I couldn’t help but reblog this. We are in October already, this is 10 good months into a year we were sure many to herald and look forward to. Did we try to live our best each day or hardly a glimpse of hope with survival being the word? To be candid, I had some survival only days but I strived on, not wanting to Live in Vain.

And so we went bowling for a first time yesterday: living not in vain lol

500 Whooping Followers: Someone help, how do I scream Thank you???


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In May 2014, I tallied:

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I mean when I started blogging in November 2013, I didn’t have a clue about how I was going to survive this exhilirating enterprise. I know 500 followers is obtained by some in 5 days, but to me this is huge and worth celebrating. Honestly, I am grateful many are not active followers in the sense that they don’t leave comments I will have to respond to. I equally do not blog about fasion, rumour mill or even what’s happening in Americana for all there is to write about.

And this is why, when a wanna be ‘celebrity’ like myself from Cameroon in Africa, starts to blog about serious stuff including ‘washing her dirty linen in public’, and she gets 500 followers, trust me thank you ain’t sufficient.

I am celebrating with some ice cream this afternoon because this to me is an achievement.

I wish I could name all my very special blogging pals (my faithful e-family) aw tribe you know yourselves. Your friendship and blogs and all we share and learn from each others fills me with so much inspiration and motivation – I keep striving to Be the Best I can BE!

Wishing us all an excellent weekend

Photo Therapy: My Journey


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Marie June 1991
1991 that famous year: A whole chapter in my first memoir

 

 

 

Dare to look at your pictures and picture your journey. Listen to yourself and talk to yourself. Give yourself permission to deal and heal. The new you will attract new views. It took me such a while and many twists and challenging turns, I dared and fared, I cried out and cried in, I wrote and told and now I have found a balance…I embrace a few many causes and do what I like, love and need. I have been named Phenomenal, me who was once labelled Radical. I am… and I am going to let my light shine all the way and that’s Okay

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Happy weekend to us all