Muse with MAG: How do you live your life?
When I had settled down into my own home with my boys, and gone for that turning point and amazing 3 days spiritual retreat, I went on my knees and said my personal prayer over and over again. I begged the Lord to give me a sentence on how to live my life henceforth – one I will be centered by and will not consciously depart from. You know, serenity and discernment were already my watchwords, my mantra in doing all things was already embodied in my 3Ds of Determination, Discipline and Dedication to which I later added the 3Ps of Passion, Purpose and Productivity in 2017, but I needed a sentence which could as well reflect how I was already living, but which could remind me that was how I should continue. And I stumbled upon it in a book. Oh how I love reading. I saw the 4Ls in a book 3 years after I started praying for that sentence, the year in which I turned 40 ie 2019. How symbolic right? Here we go: I live, I learn, I laugh, I love…repeat….And it works…in every situation I am faced with, I gradually repeat this sentence to myself, looking for ways to live through it learning, laughing and loving. I mean, how else would I want to live my life? I don’t know about you, but seek and you shall find. It could take such patience and of course continuous living in the meantime lol…like God wants to watch how you are already doing it, and then He will direct you to where you’ll find that it is you seek. Remember He gave us a free will, I want to think that’s why He just doesn’t impose it on us? Anyways, to each their musings
Pre script: Am so grateful to receive another guest post from Eva especially on a topic so close to heart and home. I have seen many addicted and so much pain, I know how challenging it is to make ends meet during recovery. Thank you so much Eva
Monster.com career expert Vicki Salemi states that the job search is “one big emotional roller coaster,” with all the ups and downs. And, let’s face it, fear. The only thing is you can’t hold up your hands as you go down that first big hill. If you’re a recovering addict who has begun your journey, you’re definitely experiencing the same thing. Taken together, the two experiences can be both frightening and elating, filled with both uncertainty and victory.
Regardless of the reason, you are starting your job search after also starting recovery. It’s your first time back in the job market, and your addiction might have caused you to lose a job. You will definitely need to bring in some money in order to keep your bills paid, a roof over your head, and your utilities on. So until you get a job offer, you’ll need a temporary side gig. The question is, though, what can you do?
The late Dick Bolles, author of What Color is Your Parachute, said “Everyone has skills,” and you can think of them as belonging to three categories: verbs (sewing, negotiating, planning, and more), nouns (data, graphics, software, animals, and others), and adjectives (adaptable, creative, flexible, and so on). The key is to identify which of your skills go into which category. This not only helps you determine a side gig, but it also can help you determine which type of full-time job to pursue.
But until you get hired, consider these two broad possibilities for making ends meet.
1. Offer Yourself in a Service Role
In a service role, you essentially perform the tasks some folks don’t have the time for or are incapable of doing. For some senior citizens or disabled people, you can become an errand runner or a shopper. There are even some people who will pay you to wait in a line for them for new technology gadgets, concert tickets, and more. You can also hire yourself out as a pet sitter or dog walker. The best part about those kinds of opportunities is that you can set your own schedule, including nights and weekends.
When you offer yourself in a service role, you become an extra pair of legs for someone who is unable to tend to some essential life tasks. Plus, one additional benefit is that you might be able to increase your job-hunting network by telling your clients that you’re looking for full-time work.
2. Make Money With a Hobby or Skill
Can you make jewelry or seasonal wreaths? Can you paint or take photographs? Can you knit or do flower arranging? If so, you can turn your hobby into something profitable by selling your items on at Etsy shop or to family and friends. The best part about this side-gig is that you actually get to make your hobby profitable. And, of course, having a hobby is beneficial when you’re in recovery. If you play a musical instrument or even sing, consider offering music lessons. And once you get a full-time position, you can keep teaching your students for as long as you like.
A job search can be one of the most stressful events in someone’s life, and it can be especially difficult for those who are newly sober. So since you are in recovery, you must keep in mind that any additional stress you feel from your job search might trigger a relapse. Having a side gig might help you avoid stress, prevent a relapse, and keep you on your path.
Photo Credit: Pixabay.com
About 6 years ago, Eva Benoit left her job as an office manager to pursue being a life, career, and overall wellness coach. She specializes in helping professionals with stress and anxiety, but welcomes working with people from all walks of life. She works with her clients to discover and explore avenues that will bring them balance, peace, and improved overall well-being that can last a lifetime. Her website is evabenoit.com and she is author of the upcoming book, The 30-Day Plan for Ending Bad Habits and Improving Overall Health.
You can read Eva’s last guest article on Executive Addiction here
Have a great weekend everyone and know you are not alone in any struggles
The above picture is so special; I mean I couldn’t have found a more special one to use. That day was special but it was confirming a big scary change I was embarking on. My boyfriend then took me to the restaurant where we had our first date, to sort of celebrate our parting since my decision to move back to Cameroon had just become irrevocable. I had reserved my flight for July that same morning. It was a bitter-sweet moment.
Five years and more, I am here doing all the amazing stuffs I am doing, I have found my purpose and I am so productive some even think I am sort of hypomanic a lot of the time lol.
This year started on a very high note, I mean I turned 40 which was huge and wow, I celebrated it grand style my own way, I got so funky and asked life for more, and four days later baaaaaaaam – a new relationship. Are we all calling this a special though initially scary change?
And so, I decided among others to stop being a WHY person but a WHY NOT person. My mind told me it was time to change the theme of my blog, and so I am doing just that. I am taking it slowly though because once again the change is seeming scary. I mean what of my widgets and etc etc.
I have admired blogs where less was written in favour of visuals and where to click lol. Don’t know if this new one will be the final one and if I will know what to do with the widgets etc, but I am just embracing the change for now.
Sometimes indeed, the change is scary but special just like my current funky look with low hair hurray.
Be inspired and motivated someone
Happy midweek everyone – Yay
40 Things I am grateful for each year of my life
Grateful to be born the bouncy baby I see in pictures;
Grateful I can still remember the day my brother (RIP) was born – as well as my innocent prophecy which came to pass;
Grateful to start primary school directly and be spared a dreaded nursery school (I started class one in September 1981 at 3 years 9 months – my elder sister had had such a bad experience with the nursery school teacher my dad had said no more nursery school for any of his children Amen);
Grateful for all the fun and friends I have in my Deido neighbourhood;
Grateful I am a force to reckon with in primary school, and my brother’s fierce defender whether he was at fault or not (I once fought with 5 girls from class 5 because they threatened my brother whose poop they had been punished to clean up);
Grateful to have a best friend and be allowed by dad to go spend weekends with her family – this kept opening me up to a different life than the one I lived at home;
Grateful to get along well in school without sitting still in class lol (was actually either 1st or 2nd and alternated with that best friend of mine LNM);
Grateful to survive the big move to another city although that had such a price (my resilient spirit was being developed progressively);
Grateful to belong to a group of 4 girls who took themselves seriously lol (this was the beginning of magnectic for real because I wasn’t looking out for friends in that new school but I seemed to attract many and could chose my friends);
Grateful to be voted assistant senior prefect in class 7 (although I had gone there out of punishment by mum for my scatterbrain, that was the beginning of leadership and responsibility);
Grateful to go to boarding school (I loved it so much, took me away from a cold war at home and already tired of all the falling out with mum and co – they eventually split a year later);
Grateful to help my siblings and myself take it all in and adapt to our new lives at dad’s without mum;
Grateful to be sent abroad for a 1 month excursion (visiting France and going on a mini cruise to England was simply wow – I kissed my first guy and he was from Rouen. Come to think I will date a man from Rouen for two great years several years later);
Grateful to be crafty and cunning, and have the survival skills I have which save my brother and I from hunger and abuse countless time (you can tell things had changed drastically, a step mum was now in the picture and two of my siblings had managed to save themselves somehow – my brother and I lived through it all for 2 years);
Grateful to start getting it what loving a boy could really be all about – this came with so much self consciousness and awareness as well as appreciation for life and God;
Grateful to pass Maths O Levels because I had been threatened a repeat of the entire form 5 if I failed just that one subject (needless to say the rebellious arts student in me had given up maths 2 or so years earlier);
Grateful to be that jolly and audacious in high school (just didn’t appreciate the fact it was an all girls’ school especially coming from a mixed school);
Grateful to be more conscious of my studies even though it was still hard for me to sit at it for long lol (I did pass the GCE A’ Levels in the 3 papers I wrote with Bs etc, so fine right?);
Grateful to try it out on my own in the university (finally in a university called UB the place to B, into the world of boyfriends and discoveries);
Grateful I survived that abortion (I was scared to death but even more scared of what mum will do to me if she found out I was pregnant. I knew some had died in the process or risked never getting pregnant and so it was all so traumatizing);
Grateful to graduate from the university with a good GPA and well lots of experiences from informal school lol;
Grateful to start hustling why waiting for what next – the experience in the off license mum opened which I practically stocked, and sold in, and did the inventory of etc. etc. really taught me a lot;
Grateful to settle down in another city with a semblance of a stable life as an intern at a law firm, and sort of responsible for myself;
Grateful to be a mother oh my; circumstances aside, nothing beats this for me;
Grateful to get into network marketing and all I keep learning;
Grateful to get married and learn all the bitter-sweet-bitter lessons I learned from rushing like that into such a very serious thing in life;
Grateful for my job with MTN which takes me round the country and gives me the opportunity to do a lot including buy my own first car, meet many people, and sleep in all sorts of places;
Grateful for David my shepherd born with such gentleness, one he still has 12 years later Amen;
Grateful I survive the loss of my daughter who died a day after she was born. It wasn’t an easy survival for the depression I plunged into led to an attempted suicide a year later;
Grateful I don’t succeed to kill myself and terminate my 5 months old pregnancy in the process – Gaby that baby in the womb kicked me hard just in time. He isn’t named after my brother for nothing I now get it;
Grateful for all my adulteries for they taught me what a mess I had become and the need to salvage myself;
Grateful to leave that marriage one piece, the abuse got worse as time went on both ways and I just had to leave the marriage, my children and my country behind;
Grateful for my time in the desert be it in the UAE, in Tanzania or in Belgium etc– I overcame and learned so much;
Grateful for the new zest to make my mess my message and my tests my testimony;
Grateful I publish my first memoir, the beginning of my big release and journey through forgiveness to all things lovely where I currently live;
Grateful for the wonderful Super Super Hero who took me in and loved me so wonderfully for two years;
Grateful I survived the death of my brother and was only completely down for a month – writing a book about his life was my life line then;
Grateful I can finally finally live with all my sons in our own home – God is Good;
Grateful for all I am learning and sharing and doing and the woman, mother, activist and all I am becoming; and for all the angels on my path;
Grateful God is still saying something and I am listening with rapt attention now Amen.
Definitely a tale of from Hopeless to Hopeful; thank you for all the birthday wishes everyone.
How do you close a chapter of your life? Let’s muse on with Marie Abanga Global. Today is the last day of the 3rd Chapter of my life. At 00:25am 18.01.2019 I turn 40 years. This means chapter three will be closed once and for all. I have never taken the time to close a chapter of my life like am doing this one. Did I even know what that meant or why I should even bother? Now, Dtor Sea passing on at just 40 has added impetus to my determination to make it matter. I want to this as formally as possible and my spirit led me into a 7 days hibernation and on a spiritual journey so profound only the soon to be published journal will tell it all. It is very important we don’t live meaningless lives moving around out of motion and nothing more. Just doing and doing and never taking a pause to just be, blow it off, appreciate the journey so far and yes close the chapter you are leaving whichever that is. Anyways, that is how this chapter 3 of mine is going into the annals of my history. If I can borrow a line or two from the one and only Ndinga man gone ahead aka Lapiro, I will sing: “Chapter 3 Wise girl no fit dem again because she be God’s Girl”. Happy musing everyone, it was worth the hibernating and it is possible. The journal will be published on my blog and the link made available … it’s free for all although on the Amazon the least cent may be demanded by their platform
We will get there, let’s Go … God has been soGood…a￼ year of Grace indeed it has been Amen
Are you Husband Material? Reversing the Conventional probing was inspired by the awkward though conventional question some gentleman asked me in December 2016. He asked me if I was wife material because I was hesitating responding to his offer to marry me. It didn’t make sense to me that I should at my age and circumstance, still get asked such a question. I mean, if at 37 with three kids you could be asked even if you didn’t seem ‘desperate’ to be a wife, imagine how much younger ladies should be dealing with in their strive to be wives. In our conventional societies where it seems getting married is the highest of achievements especially for women, preparing yourself to be wife material is actually right next to being taught how to be a girl. Conventional society expects girls to play with dolls, learn to cook pretty quick, do as their mums do so that daddy or their brothers are not embarrassed, not to talk of a potential suitor. But what of the boys and men? Are they groomed to be husbands too? Do they ever get the flip question too? I had never heard of any until I decided to embark on this other literary project. It is with all candour, my best book so far. I mean, as a mother of all boys, what a pleasure for me to provide such a book which helps them groom themselves and check their intentions ‘well well’ if marriage is their choice. Indeed, I think men even have a bigger role to play in conventional society because they are the heads right? The current statistics on failed/failing/or non contracted marriages also warrants some real soul searching. I decided to take the path less traveled and focus on men, giving the plethora of literature available on women and their preparation/expectations/obligations and all in between in a marriage. I have no doubt this book will make a good read and generate lots of brainstorming.
Available in Cameroon at: https://www.arreybuy.com/product/are-you-husband-material-by-marie-abanga/
Available on the Amazon in Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L9ZNBVC
Kindly visit my author page for more on all my books: https://www.amazon.com/Marie-A.-Abanga/e/B00ILM7IJK
Imprint: Independently published
My body+brain break last Nov 30th led me to hole up in a library with an awesome book titled: “A Woman after God’s Own Heart” by Elizabeth George.
I needed a brain+body break and yes, what I had been planning to do over two weeks ago, that’s spend an entire day in conclave at B4Kids library, reading a good book, was seemingly the ideal thing to do to relax this brain+body.
I was there as early as 8:15 am after an early start at home and some meh workout. I had slept visualizing this day.
And yes, it was simply relaxing and blissful. Like I was with God all day in a special place ie, next to His Heart found in this soulful but thought provoking and action challenging book.
He knew I needed to read this book, this day, and to be assured and reassured of He having my back as I kept on in His Vineyard after 3+decades of grooming just for that.
I mean you will need to read the book too to get a feel…that is if you are ready.
The book is divided into 4 parts worth the read and I mean every letter of each sentence… grateful for the reading maniac I seem to be lol
P1: The Pursuit of God. How do you pursue God with your Heart, your words, your actions, your obedience to His own Word?
P2: The Pursuit of God’s priorities. How do you discover them as laid out for your life, and serve God with your heart and all your love in whichever corner of his vineyard He’s assigned you to?
P3: The Practice of God’s priorities: Do you seek God’s Heart and Grace to do the work you got according to His own priority?
P4: In praise of God’s priorities. What’s your praise if you got all the above going? What’s your legacy, and soul and commitment to keep being after God’s own Heart?
The author Elizabeth George makes no claims of sainthood in her own journey of being a woman after God’s Own Heart. Maybe this is what endeared me to the book so much and made me determined to finish it in one sitting? I read that she and her husband have been active in ministry for more than 30 years…which should actually be over 40 years of we consider that version was updated and expanded in 2006.
I am forever grateful to my new sister and friend Etonde NBA who has this beautiful kids’ library called B4Kids, and graciously told me I was welcome anytime. I don’t know what this book is doing in a kids’ library, maybe so that mothers read some while their kids are reading/doing their own stuffs?
To God be the Glory…
6:45 am: It just happened and I didn’t have the heart to take her picture nor see where she’s being hurried or taken too. The boys are going to do that.
I cried with Gaby my last son, David who seemed to love her most, and on whose bed she died, just hugged me so tight. I hope he processes that too.
We are having a family meeting shortly, and oh Ella will be past tense now.
I grieve by reading and writing, so what else can I do now?
We had Ella for exactly 2 years+few days, my heart aches, I just got her a tray of eggs two days ago and I saw her this morning as ran to David’s bed, but she had poo and maybe thrown up and something just told me this is it. I was called to see her fretting and throwing up some more, and in no time she was gone.
Whenever you are attached to a person or pet (these especially who love you unconditionally), their death is like a part of you paralysed.
Oh life and love and all these emotions which only last but for a fleeting…
Bye bye Ella, for all the love and joy and everything in between…we’ll be missing you…