Tag Archives: Fortitude

Who just got appointed to the GMHPN Executive representing Cameroon?


 

GMHPN EXEC Committees
Is my face good somewhere there to the left directly under the founder’s? That’s an honour for me lol

And to think I almost gave up on the application procedure. Ah Determination, Discipline and Dedication pay big time. I am up to the task because I also have these 3 Ps to fly with.

I know this is yet another springboard for me and all the work I do for mental health awareness and my own self care; I equally know as a psychotherapist it is important to be in your ‘client’s shoes’ too as much as you can – and so I am super excited about this appointment and really know without a doubt this year is indeed my year of Grace.

Thank you all who have been here and there with me in my mental health journey, thank you all who have trusted me to help them help themselves in their own mental health journey. My appointment to the highly awaited GMHPN, is for Cameroon and I can’t hesitate to mention the HIFA Representative for Cameroon, my friend Didier Demassosso who passed on the call for applicants to me in the first place.

And while I brace myself emotionally to receive all the likes and congratulatory messages, may I encourage you to take a look at the GMHPN’s Newsletter for June right here, or for July right here; like our facebook page, and join our ever growing global community of mental health peers. If you would like to also join the Mental Health 237 facebook page I created, contact me here or if on facebook, inbox me…thank you very much.

Have a great week everybody and be inspired

To God be the Glory

Advertisements

Executive Addiction:How to Know When to Seek Help by Eva Benoit


Executive Addiction

Pre script: Am so grateful to be receiving guests posts these days especially on a topic so close to heart and home. I have seen many addicted and so much pain, I can only hope they reach out everyday even after a relapse

Are you living a double life? Are you, by all appearances, a hardworking professional by day and an addict by night? How do you know when you need to seek help?

If you’ve asked yourself these questions and are concerned you need help for an addiction, take heart knowing there are a lot of options for you to get the treatment you need. Our guide is here to support you on your journey to a healthier life.

First, if you have difficulty making it through the day without some form of chemical stimulant, or if you need alcohol or some other depressant to bring you down, you are probably an addict. Additionally, there are many other telltale signs of addiction you should be aware of, including:

  • Thinking frequently about your drug of choice (DOC)

  • Feeling like you can’t fit in or make it without your DOC

  • Performing uncharacteristic or dangerous behaviors in order to get your DOC

  • Regularly being under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol

Addiction is less about how often or how much you use, and more about the consequences of your using. If your substance use causes problems in your life, you may have an abuse issue.

Addicts are all ages, shapes and sizes, and from every career path and socioeconomic background. Addiction is also a chronic issue, meaning that it’s a lifelong condition; if you’re an addict, you’re one for life, and you will need to work on your recovery every day.

If you’re hesitant to seek treatment out of fear it will require you to take time off from work, the good news is that you can most likely get help from an outpatient facility on your schedule; this would allow you to continue working over the course of your treatment. Inpatient centers can be effective if you need to get away from your daily life and the impulse to use, but that makes it difficult to keep things close to “normal life.” If you want or need to continue working, outpatient treatment may be your best option.

If you seek medical treatment, your information will not be shared with your boss. The only time a treatment professional would share that you are in treatment would be if you gave them written permission, or if they felt you were a danger to yourself or others. Otherwise, people can find out only if you share your news, or if they guess it from your behavior. If you take medical leave and you don’t want to share the reason with your boss or co-workers, they will not know the nature of your absence.

Check with your company’s HR department about your company’s medical and mental health benefits options. Your company may have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that allows you to take time off to get better without fear of losing your job. Make an appointment with an HR rep to discuss your situation confidentially; they can be a great referral resource, as well as answer questions about your options. Even if you work for a small firm, your company’s health insurance may cover substance abuse treatment in full or in part.

Outside of the office, there are many additional resources for those seeking help for addiction. For example, the SAMHSA National Helpline offers free, confidential treatment referral in English and Spanish for individuals and their families seeking help for substance abuse. The number is 1-800-662-HELP (4357), and the organization takes calls 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Additionally, you can find treatment centers in your area using SAMHSA’s locator tool.

If you’re an addict, you have a choice to make every day, every hour, every minute whether you use or not — but you don’t have to struggle alone. You have many options for getting the treatment you need. Don’t let the stress of your job — or the fear of losing it — keep you from taking action for your well-being. Choose right now to get the help you need.

About Eva

About 6 years ago, Eva Benoit left her job as an office manager to pursue being a life, career, and overall wellness coach. She specializes in helping professionals with stress and anxiety, but welcomes working with people from all walks of life. She works with her clients to discover and explore avenues that will bring them balance, peace, and improved overall well-being that can last a lifetime. Her website is evabenoit.com and she is author of the upcoming book, The 30-Day Plan for Ending Bad Habits and Improving Overall Health.

Have a great weekend everyone and know you are not alone in any struggles

If you are happy and you know it raise your hand…


I am definitely one happy woman and here is why:

1) On the day (Wed 27th June) this blog title came to my mind, I was on the way to the hospital to get the results of the inflammation that had rocked my eye for a couple of months now. I was dressed the way you see because I was leaving home very early to catch the first bus to the other city where I had run the tests. I had been told it could be a tumour or some serious allergies. By faith I acclaimed the allergies before leaving the house, and allergies they were. I am rounding up the last treatment for that and it is only getting better;

2) I am happy because I am so in tune with my all these days, I feel my feelings and face my fears. Seriously, never have been this happy. I can unapologetically feel any emotions which come along, then deal and heal or heal and deal whichever my spirit guides me to doing; oh I even help others too as a psychotherapist and this is huge for me; I recently handled a massive breakup like the pro I am lol and the above picture was taken the very next morning post breakup;

3) I work hard, cry hard, pray hard, enjoy hard, relax hard and in short I try to be the Best version of myself. It is oh so sublime.

Those 3 reasons suffice for a brief midweek post… And yes I give myself Permission to be Happy…

And so dear gentle readers and followers, if you are happy and you know it, why not share some in the comments please?

P.S: I will happily honour Barakah’s invitation tonight with a sublime white dress – at last I got somewhere to launch the gift I got myself for completing my 70 days spiritual journey, all to the Glory of God…and before then,

in the afternoon I will be a guest on a TV and Radio show aptly titled: Matters at Stake and Therapy respectively. I will be sharing my experience on parenting and other matters at stake including mental health and how to help… now all these from within and without make and keep me happy…

Next steps: Go home after Barakah’s event; catch some sleep and leave for Yaounde early am for the leading ladies conference…how happier can I be right now? Vacation is calling my name, and you?

Sometimes you may want to punish them and end up punishing yourself big time…


Hello world, I may be smiling in those pictures but one can one do?

So, those two guys D&G are still around because well their dad didn’t take them last friday as agreed for a month. Alain is on an internship and as is at dearest Grandma’s for the month since Sunday. You can imagine how all over the place my schedule now is. Indeed, since yesterday I have been working from home.

img_20180703_155901

Yesterday afternoon, I just had to stop at some point and take them swimming (gladly not so far from home and all free cause it’s their family business lol) so Gaby whom I had initially grounded, was about to make me lose my nerves for real with his pranks. Taking them there was to be honest therapeutic too for me and I could use that chilling and bonding time.

Today, ha David of all pulled some dishonest pranks and I decided to take him to the market with me. Oh had I forgotten his girlfriend Patience. I mean a trip that solo will last 20 mins max, ended up lasting 60 minutes. Gaby who had gone out without my permission and was specifically told not to step out, ignored the instruction and went right out to play.  Second grounding right? I found him dirty and asked him to bathe under my supervision. Well, he loves water and showed me just how much…ok relax Ayo… He wanted to go sit outside to eat and I said no, right next to me on the table while I work…what was I even thinking?

In short, he wouldn’t siest, has all sorts of stories and distracting stuffs he has to do indoors now, and I just ended after 2 full hours of sighing and near shouting to let him off…

I mean, there are days in the life of a parent especially a single parent…you just end up laughing at your own calamity…I really think I was punishing my own self lol

Hope this post makes us parents and single parents in the house laugh some…it was good release & anger management typing same off…and my mental health is vip for me…

Be inspired and motivated…one day it shall be another stage and story lol

p.s: anyways, all is well that ends well and I took myself out for dinner hurray. the last time was in December 2017 lol

Our real relationship MC & I (Clarity, Grief & Closure)


This weekend (her burial was yesterday); indeed since June 9th when My MC died, I have gone through a roller coaster of sorts with different emotions, some like pain and grief, plummeting so deep and others like sadness, staying there and keeping me alert and contemplative at the whole point of living.

Some even in my close family circles can’t understand why I should feel so deep and get involved so personal. I decided to just blog about it and get this clear and closed once and for all.

My father had lost his both parents by the age of 8, with his mother dying when he the last was barely 2. By age 12, he found himself in the town of Dschang in the Western Region of Cameroon, that is a 45 or so km from our village of Fontem found geographically in the South West Region. Dschang is French speaking whereas Fontem is English speaking. That was no hindrance for this determined orphan whose family couldn’t afford the 20.000 frs (20 £) school fees required for Sasse College where he had been admitted (one out of 5 only from Fontem). He decided to migrate on his own to Dschang and do all it took to work for his upkeep, master that French language and culture in no time, and pay his fees in one of the public schools which cost 1500frs at the time.

One day as fate and faith will have it, MC’s dad who was Divisional Delegate for Education at the time, visited the school dad was, overlooked into dad’s neat book, marveled at his meticulous handwriting and admired the way his hand shot up to answer questions or ask same. He decided that day he was going to adopt dad and sent a note to dad’s family to that effect. Dad told me he didn’t even send the note, he was ready to move in with one I fondly called ‘Grand pere’ the very next day lol.

My dad clearly owes just so much to this Angel, his family and all. Dad was taken in as a first child, and the couple later on had 8 children with MC being the 7th. Although nearly 2 years older, as I said I didn’t know nor could be bothered.

MC and I did stuffs teens (mischief ones especially) do, including talking about and exploring our sexuality. If that isn’t profound what is? When her dad my ‘Grand Pere’ died in July 2009, I was so heavily pregnant with Gaby I wasn’t even allowed to go into his room at the hospital to bid him farewell. He had insisted dad come in all the way from Fontem to Douala to see him and dad had picked me up on arrival so we go see him together. Shortly after dad arrived, ‘Grand Pere’ I was told looked at dad, nodded, touched his hand and then drew his last breathe.

I didn’t attend his burial either, Gaby was just a week old. Now, before this all, the last time I had gone to Dschang was when I was around 15 years. Life’s twists and turns came and we all went to town and life continued to happen. Keeping in touch was henceforth by phone etc.

3 weeks before MC died, Dad was in Dschang and I decided to go check on him. It was you can tell a soulful home coming. I still have to write about the visit. I prayed for MC on ‘Grand Pere’s’ grave but I guess the dice had been cast – she had endured too much already and couldn’t even talk… Am so glad I reached out to her that weekend with all the love I had and could show in my modest way…

The above should make it clear once and for all why I felt the grief so deep. It was like going to mourn for both ‘Grand Pere’, MC and her two other siblings gone ahead some years earlier at different intervals.

img_20180630_105908
I went for a long walk while burial rites were taking place, that was therapeutic and good for my mental wellbeing

The good news is that, I found healing and closure right there at the burial – so glad I braved it to go. I did stuff I liked like washing the dishes (which is a huge thing at gatherings like this – hence really appreciated) and that was so self soothing, and then I went and spent an hour with MC where she was laid (3,45 am – 4,45 am). I prayed, meditated, read scripture passages on meditation, and listened in silence to MC remind me that life ain’t to be lived in the past participle (as she loved saying). The meditation was also on spot from James Allen: “Who can mend a broken Vase by weeping over it”?.

And so for closure, it is well with my soul. I equally traveled back home safely, and although I haven’t slept properly for 3 straight days, am grateful for the sleep in shifts in the night bus and at the wake. I will make it up gradually… The weekend before was equally partially spent at another burial, the only sibling to a dear school mate…arg life…

It is important in my modest opinion to deal and heal in every circumstance and to do it the way which works best for you. It is therapeutic to Feel your Feelings, Face your Fears and embrace the journey with fortitude and gratitude.

On this note, I cherish MC’s spirit of exuberance and love, I celebrate our memories and am filled with gratitude for knowing her thanks to the largesse of her Angel of a dad who made of my dad the man he is today… Cousin or not, whatever label it is, MC was a soul sister…

Be inspired and motivated us all, happy Sunday everyone

P.s: a brief of my timeline on return home, to inspire and motivate

6 am arrive home

7-9.30 am sleep

10.12.30 pm clean up and cook

3.30 pm – 4.15pm session with client

4.30 – 6 pm power walk for welcome home. I feel so great and know I’ll have a very good and peaceful sleep

Let me go bury My MC and then look forward to a vacation…


My MC‘s burial is this weekend, wake keep tonight and burial 30th – I am probably going to be there by the time this scheduled post goes up. It’s gonna be a brief one…

I will take a break from blogging for 2 weeks hopefully from July 9-23 , to rest and recuperate (ain’t ever easy I know) and next week is flamed up starting actually on Thursday July 5th with Barakah’s event before I move on to Yaounde for the Leading Ladies Conference.

It was barely 1 month ago that I went by night trip to MC their village to visit my dad… The real relationship being that dad an orphan had been adopted by this Angel when he was just 11/12 in a city he knew no one in and was yet to learn French. It had been 2 decades I hadn’t been there because Grand pere (MC’s dad) died in 2009 when I just had Gaby… In short, all these make for at least two more posts…

For now, see you hopefully next month for a couple of days lol

It’s been one half of a year indeed – hmm, let me just bury My MC and see how it goes with the mini break and co

Have a great weekend everyone and till then – one love – do take care of yourselves and take a break when you have to, cause life can be tough and roller coaster…

Let’s talk about breakups shall we???


How do I look in that picture at first glance? Anyway, that was a couple of hours to yet another heartbreaking breakup. I have had one too many in my life and to be candid, I have instigated 99.97% of them.

Why am I even writing this post and washing such linen in public? Well, because as a psychologist and CBT Therapist, I have worked with many who have been through very tough times before and after a breakup.

It is one of those taboo topics marred with the ego’s looming shame, guilt and suck for revenge. Needless saying what some have or will do to supposedly get even after a breakup.

So, how do I feel especially after once again instigating a breakup? I feel like a pity party wouldn’t even do me justice. And yet, it takes commensurate courage to instigate a breakup and do it civil like you guys were having any other conversation. This breakup ha, I prayed for the how to go about it for an entire month. I know others who will just walk away, change numbers or just spit it out and fume it all downing same with whatever can numb the hurt and feelings.

To add salt to injury, it’s not like there is any prospect or plan moving on. Nope, am letting my spirit flow even if right now I can shrink if spoken to by a man.

Let me be raw here, this is my life’s purpose. This is also a better healing mechanism for me than tears and trash. Indeed, an RA mini flare up couldn’t be avoided and I was literally carried back home and massaged.

It still hurts today and am pampering myself some. I believe in the adage ‘Therapist heal thyself’, and writing is one of those healing balms.

I once murmured to a friend that it sometimes was tough being the ‘Go to Person’, because you could as well end up not having your own ‘Go to Person’. My God and my soul are my own ‘Go tos’ and am not doubting them.

And so, to you who can identify with this post in any and either way, know you are not alone. Tough times never last but tough people do.

I hate breakups and if there was a vaccine against them or some magic pill to counter their side effects, I would have gone for those.

But helas, damage control is what I focus on, learning lessons, counting blessings, seeing prospects, not burning bridges are what I look out and forward to. My mental health being of primordial here.

I chose peace over conflict and think I have finally won over my ex husband. The same yesterday, he and I had a very peaceful and dare I say respectful discussion, and for all these milestones I am very grateful.

Any thoughts about breakups to share in the comments anyone?

Be inspired and motivated everyone …

Leading Ladies like myself will be attending this groundbreaking conference…


 

Since I returned to my country in August 2015, I haven’t attended any conferences. Workshops or small gatherings yes, I even tried organizing some under the platform I launched called Inspiring Positive Actions Now, but it didn’t quiet take off. My dream on my return was to actually organize a mega conference for women dubbed “Women walking with stubborn but passionate faith”, I had started putting together a team and then all sorts of challenges came in and I prayed and let it go.

It can then be easily understood why I am so excited to attend this conference which I aptly qualify as ground breaking in this country especially in such difficult times we as individuals and the entire nation are facing. I think ladies above all will have to step in the gap to lead themselves and the country as a whole, through all the unrest we are going through, be it spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, socio-cultural… you name them…

I mean, just read their vision:

The vision of this conference is to bring together 500+ women leaders and those involved in leadership in order to encourage, nurture and strengthen leadership abilities by engaging them through capacity building workshops, teaching, motivation and panel discussions on issues that affect women and their leadership in the society. The ultimate goal is to see these conference attendees empowered to carry out their God-given assignments in the home, workplace and world.

And yes, I went to school with some of the ladies profiled as authors, speakers or organizers, so it’ll be so much touching soul base for me. The Lord is really good all the time. If I cannot accomplish something and a sister or brother can, trust me I’ll join them and cheer them on and make some real noise and impact. I wish I could bring someone else, but you know in matters of the soul, your soul must be stirred from within and nothing else. All else will be glam which will backfire in the long run big time.

The conference is put together by an organization called Lead Mission International and their programme shows they’ll be organizing similar stuffs in Burundi too. Isn’t this simply awesome? This is the first of such conferences they’ll be organizing in Cameroon, and although I have a feeling nothing will be easy for the organizers especially with meeting set targets, I hope they brave through it all, counting on no other Grace but the most Amazing one provided by the almighty God and Father Himself. I can’t wait to meet the organizers in person and see what lies ahead in terms of collaboration, learning, sharing and more.

img-20180615-wa00151550208435.jpg

I plan to get a copy of the book because I can see my story in there though not included lol. I will be meeting the editor myself and as an author, I am super excited. Who knows if he’ll take on my next publication? That project from every indication has a course I don’t master because each time I try telling my spirit I want to let it out now, am reminded patience is a virtue.

All in all dear all, I already feel it in me it wouldn’t be an idle weekend. I have a very soulful event on the eve of the conference in Douala and I blog on that in two days, then I leave the very next morning for Yaounde where the conference takes place, and will return to Douala on Sunday by God’s Grace. I am bundling all of this into a Me Moment because on my return, I may be alone at home (guys should hopefully be gone on vacation), but I have to resume psychology studies and writing my draft for next year. Any leading lady in Cameroon wants to attend, please call any of the numbers on the flyer and pay a sum you wouldn’t regret spending on your personal growth because YES – YOU DESERVE IT

Have a great week everyone

Embracing Alternative Therapies and Their Role in Addiction Recovery by Kimberly Hayes


Addiction by Tiffany
Image courtesy of Pixabay

Engaging in addiction recovery may be the most important challenge you ever undertake. It’s vital to use the best tools available to you. Alternative methods can help you achieve success.

Holistic therapy. There is an increasing awareness of holistic therapies, with some studies showing sixty-five to eighty percent of the population participating in holistic naturopathic medicine as a primary form of health care. Demand is so great, half of all medical schools offer courses in holistic methods. Holistic therapy is defined as treating the mind, body and soul of a person, and typically uses both traditional and alternative methods to address and prevent health conditions. Practitioners aim to treat not only symptoms but causes of issues, they encourage communication with patients, integrate whole-body approaches in their programs, and support not only physical concerns but also mental and spiritual ones throughout treatment.

Some of the alternative methods used in holistic-oriented addiction recovery are as follows:

  • Acupuncture. Acupuncture is a time-tested therapy using needles to reduce cravings, aching muscles, detoxification symptoms and withdrawal symptoms. According to HealthLine acupuncture works to help to restore the body’s balance.

  • Biochemical restoration. This treatment examines what imbalances in the body are producing cravings and restores balance through nutrition.

  • Biofeedback. As The Treehouse explains, with biofeedback, machines monitor brain waves to evaluate what is occurring during an addict’s cravings. By understanding the addict’s thought patterns treatment can be modified to address issues.

  • Exercise. Some experts note exercise helps improve mood, enhance brain function, and improves strength, flexibility and cardiovascular health. Addicts can enjoy achieving a natural, healthy “high” through the chemicals released in the body by exercise.

  • Herbs. Symptoms of detoxification can be treated with herbs like valerian, kaya, and ginseng. Some herbs reduce insomnia and anxiety as well.

  • Hypnosis. By instructing the subconscious mind toward different thought patterns, an addict’s self-esteem can improve and the desire for drugs be eliminated.

  • NAD. Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide (NAD) is a derivative of vitamin B3 – also known as niacin. It’s a basic element in all living cells and plays a key role in metabolism. NAD is thought to help reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms during recovery.

  • Prayer and meditation. These two therapies are similar, requiring the addict to focus intently and embrace a higher level of understanding.

  • Yoga. Yoga encourages engaging mind, body and spirit to improve patience and relaxation. Addicts learn to look inward to understand their choices and navigate recovery.

Holistic treatments should be used in conjunction with rehabilitation and lifestyle changes. You should embrace a healthy diet and fitness program, and understand emotional wellness is a key component in recovery. Psychotherapy, mental health and behavioral therapies can help improve emotional health.

Exercises such as journaling benefit many addicts. Journaling provides the opportunity to review patterns and look inward for what drives your personal choices. It also encourages you to stay balanced and maintain a healthier focus on reality and on the present, reducing anxiety and stress.

What alternative methods aren’t. As explained by Psychology Today, alternative methods are not meant to be stand alone treatments. It’s important to participate in an organized recovery program guided by proven treatment practices. Ensure your care provider is using evidence-based therapies and treating your whole person with other proven methods. As some experts explain, everyone is different and your program should be tailored to your needs. Any treatments should be discussed with your therapist and used in conjunction with your entire recovery plan. Engaging in a treatment on your own, especially if it neglects another vital component, can be dangerous. Ensure you participate in a healthy, balanced recovery plan with the guidance of your therapist.

Alternative therapies can help. Addiction recovery is a difficult road, and with alternative therapies you can better navigate the obstacles. Discuss your options with your health professional. With a sound, balanced approach your recovery can be a success!

About the Author

Kimberly Hayes enjoys writing about health and wellness and created PublicHealthAlert.info to help keep the public informed about the latest developments in popular health issues and concerns. In addition to studying to become a crisis intervention counselor, Kimberly is hard at work on her new book, which discusses the ins and outs of alternative addiction treatments.

P.S: I am sincerely very honoured that Kimberly sent me a request to do a guest article on a topic I was embracing after coming in touch with the terrifying reality on the ground. When I did my internship at the lone psychiatric ward in my city of Douala – Cameroun, about 2/3 of the teenagers admitted were for addiction and dis-intoxication. I definitely can’t wait for her book’s release and hope she writes another article for my blog.

Come on Stage 4: When I think of the Prize, I am very prepared to pay the Price


img-20180228-wa0009-638465887.jpg

My spiritual journey reached its climax in stage three. Stage four may seem the longest to fast from food in a stretch ie 28 days, but I am very good to go. I have done two 30 days stretches before and am already familiar with that arm of fasting. Actually through out this journey started March 1st, of all things am fasting from, food is the last on my mind. I am proud of how fasting from all the other 6 vip things has been going.

Some small tips:

 

  1. Keep busy, live your life, and keep a cheerful/real demeanour even with a swollen healing eye – so grateful it ain’t a swollen spirit or soul lol;
  2. If you know your why, and then the how plus when, why bother answering the what? You can save that energy cause your resilience will speak for itself lol
  3.  When you break your fast from food each evening, hydrate yourself as much as possible and eat the most balanced next to natural food you can (this has proved a little more challenging for me in this stage though, my belly seems to have shrunk and the appetite taken a hit – but am hanging in and doing my best) ; and while at vip self-care, brush your teeth often and use mouth wash + of course shower a time or two more each day – it all feels so refreshing…

 

I am busy with my internship as a therapist and my studies in psychology (just finished an online diploma course), add this up with single motherhood, my writings plus all the reading and other professional occupations, and you can tell I sometimes struggle to keep track of time lol…indeed am so grateful to the universe… I had the most thrilling first day at the psychiatry unit, starting off by doing something I just so love – cleaning so we could settle down quick and start receiving patients lol

 

I had nine good days home alone this Easter – how grateful could I be?

One other big big bonus from my spiritual journey so far,  is that I have a much clearer and concise picture of my 3 but interconnected career paths…

Thank you all who have been wishing me well all along, by grace in 28 days, and these will fly by pretty soon…

the sports is on esp on day 35
Photo taken on day 35, full workout to celebrate 50% mark which happened to be day 14 of stage three – nicknamed our Valentine’s Day (my God & I)