Tag Archives: Gratitude

Please Donate for my association Hope 4 the Abused $ Battered


 

 

Hello World, I turn 40 years in 16 days (18. 01. 79) and my wish is to open a mental health care support center and shelter for victims and survivors of Domestic Violence and Gender based violence in my city.

Please, just click here and donate whatever you have. Donate to/for me while I am still alive. My association Hope for the Abused and Battered is a precious baby who was born pursuant to a 39 year tough pregnancy with various traumatic twists and turn leaving me with different physical and mental health challenges. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in 2008 and PTSD in 2014. In 2013 I was almost all deaf and had to start wearing hearing aids immediately. In the midst of it all, Hope kept me going.

Thank you very much for your generous donations

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What memories do we leave behind?


My dad was recently in our home for 10 days and on his last day he gave me money to go and buy a clock. He had noticed we didn’t have one although there was a nail that looked like one hung there previously – indeed we had one which had accidentally gone down when someone pulled the curtain without paying attention. When I tried to talk him out of it, he insisted the memories will remain forever and that’s what mattered to him.

He had equally been trying his best to ‘spoil’ the boys and I was almost getting on my nerves too lol. I now get it, it’s not every other month he sees them. Indeed, this is the first Christmas ever we are all spending together; and the second vacation they are spending together in 12 years (my second son is 12 and so you can guess they had never spent any time together – he only saw my son as a baby, and had never met the 9 years old oh Lord).

So, I got the clock and will move it some other place and further up. I will cherish that memory too.

That’s equally how, my friend in Brussels decided to immortalize my passage in his life by paying for a car plate with the initials of the special name I called him. I called him my super super hero aka SSH. He did that in 2016 but I am just sharing it now because the memories came back as I thought of Dad.

And so dear all, I wish to inspire+motivate us all to think about the memories we are making and leaving in each other’s life.

Safer spot for clock

Happy New year in advance

Book Release! Are you Husband Material: Reversing the Conventional Probing


AHM K

Are you Husband Material? Reversing the Conventional probing was inspired by the awkward though conventional question some gentleman asked me in December 2016. He asked me if I was wife material because I was hesitating responding to his offer to marry me. It didn’t make sense to me that I should at my age and circumstance, still get asked such a question. I mean, if at 37 with three kids you could be asked even if you didn’t seem ‘desperate’ to be a wife, imagine how much younger ladies should be dealing with in their strive to be wives. In our conventional societies where it seems getting married is the highest of achievements especially for women, preparing yourself to be wife material is actually right next to being taught how to be a girl. Conventional society expects girls to play with dolls, learn to cook pretty quick, do as their mums do so that daddy or their brothers are not embarrassed, not to talk of a potential suitor. But what of the boys and men? Are they groomed to be husbands too? Do they ever get the flip question too? I had never heard of any until I decided to embark on this other literary project. It is with all candour, my best book so far. I mean, as a mother of all boys, what a pleasure for me to provide such a book which helps them groom themselves and check their intentions ‘well well’ if marriage is their choice. Indeed, I think men even have a bigger role to play in conventional society because they are the heads right? The current statistics on failed/failing/or non contracted marriages also warrants some real soul searching. I decided to take the path less traveled and focus on men, giving the plethora of literature available on women and their preparation/expectations/obligations and all in between in a marriage. I have no doubt this book will make a good read and generate lots of brainstorming.

Available in Cameroon at: https://www.arreybuy.com/product/are-you-husband-material-by-marie-abanga/

Available on the Amazon in Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L9ZNBVC

Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1791582877

Kindly visit my author page for more on all my books: https://www.amazon.com/Marie-A.-Abanga/e/B00ILM7IJK

ISBN: 9781791582876
Imprint: Independently published

Yes, total Healing from an Abusive past is possible: It took me 7 years


Hello Word Press world, I hope everyone is off to a magic filled start of a new week.

I want to share a personal experience which helped me find total healing from an abusive marriage. I left my marriage in 2011, and when I ran into my ex husband last week, the 5 minutes we shared made me realize my total healing was finally here.

I mean, I have been working and looking so forward to it, I am so happy it happened this month which is the last month of a year full of so much Grace for me.

Below is what I shared on Facebook on that day (14.12.18):

“I just ran into my ex-husband like after more than a year. The last time (01.09.17) we saw each other was at the police station where he had taken me to for breaking his door. I recall breaking the glass on that door with a stick so I could collect my sons ahead of their back to school on 03.09.17. He was called and he came with two cops. The kids and I went there with himself and we spent 4 hours in a cell – they refused to leave me alone or go with him. We were release after I signed a to never go near his house again. We got home at midnight that day, it was super traumatic especially for them. And since then they haven’t seen him either. They refused to go spend summer holidays with neither him nor their paternal grandma, and I refused to force them. He accused me of manipulation. That was a déjà entendu for me. He threatened to ‘disown’ them, and the last I told him during that very heated phone call was that he wasn’t our God. And so, running into him here at Gicam Bonanjo a year and plus later, was cool. Cool because I was happy to see him looking so good. He had some big nerves stuff last year and both his mum and wife called me alarmed and asking me to pray for him. That I did. I don’t have any grudge against him, no energy to hate or whatsoever. I just wish him so much well. I greeted him so warm and asked how he was feeling. I equally asked if he thought of the children and he said yes. He seemed to want to chit chat more but I didn’t want to. Anyways, I am sharing this to encourage especially my fellow sisters going through any such similar, to let all that be. I mean even if you prefer the saying “let sleeping dogs lie” use it and release (find it in you to deal+heal) all that ‘crap’. I just wish we had even taken a selfie hahahaha”
#releasethehurts
#notoshame
#notostigma
#forgiveandmoveon
#IamMAGnectic

We each have our unique journeys, I just share mine to inspire+motivate by Amazing Grace.

Watch “My Brother’s Journey with a mental illness reviewed by another Peer living with a mental illness.” on YouTube


In my country Cameroon, mental health and mental illness are still so much taboo.

As a passionate mental health advocate,a peer and now the Country Representative of the Global Mental Health Peer Network, I ceaselessly raise awareness as often as I can using any tools at my disposal.

I am honoured Ekema 39, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia 25 years ago, agreed to review my brother’s journey (diagnosed with bipolar disorder and died in 2014 after 18 years of turmoil). The similarities he points out in his own journey is striking.

She told me she had AIDS and I told her that was ok: In memory of Violet gone too soon


HIV

I met Violet in September 2009 and in December 2009 she was dead. I had sent word to the village looking for a nanny and when Violet said she was available, I arranged for her to come very fast. Little did I know what I was signing up for. But here is the deal, I had already made a covenant with God that if he spared me of AIDS especially after the turbulent ‘sexually’ irresponsible life I had led so far and was again pregnant, I was never going to ‘reject’ any person on my path because of their status. That was in 2003 in the city of Yaounde inside a church after I had just given my blood to be tested for HIV at the CHU hospital. How could I therefore send Violet back a few hours after her arrival and following her revelation? I feel out with my husband and mother but I wasn’t going to fall out with God. My baby was 3 months old and I knew Violet wasn’t going to deliberately or accidentally harm my baby. We loved each other till the end. Her last words to me 3 days before dying however still tear me up on days like these: “mummy why have you abandoned me?”

She had returned to the village to spend that ‘last’ Christmas with her own daughter, leaving the hospital here on her signature because she felt her end was near after all.

The Following is a conversation I had this (this post was written (01.12.18) morning with my neice who lived with us back then: [01/12, 07:36] .Marie A. Abanga: Morning mama Ndolo [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: You remember Violet who lived with us for like 3 months to take care of Gaby? [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: If yes, did you know she had AIDS? [01/12, 07:37] .Marie A. Abanga: If yes, how did that make you feel especially as you guys slept in the same room? [01/12, 07:38] .Marie A. Abanga: Please I will like to share your answers in a live video am doing at 8 am to talk about her. Today is world AIDS Day. Thank you baby [01/12, 08:13] Malaika Moki Linonge: Hello mama [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: Sorry I am in the mkt [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: But it was a good experience [01/12, 08:14] Malaika Moki Linonge: I was afraid that we could be contaminated, especially for the bb [01/12, 08:15] Malaika Moki Linonge: And also as I stayed with her at the hospital [01/12, 08:20] Malaika Moki Linonge: It was wonderful when we knew she had AIDS, we where surprised why u took her in and understood why u excepted her for some work at home [01/12, 08:20] .Marie A. Abanga: Thank you baby so much [01/12, 08:20] Malaika Moki Linonge: U are welcome mama

Anyone wanting to watch the live video I did could click the link below

https://web.facebook.com/marieangeleAbanga/videos/1253824834759318/

#thankyouviolet #notostigma #knowyourstatus #liveyourtruth #safesex #Showsomeempathy

Although World Aids Day is come and gone, we are still in the month of December. I shared this on my Facebook on the day itself, along with a live video. I just thought to share this here again, to inspire+motivate us all.

A recent brain+body break & a book review


My body+brain break last Nov 30th led me to hole up in a library with an awesome book titled: “A Woman after God’s Own Heart” by Elizabeth George.

I needed a brain+body break and yes, what I had been planning to do over two weeks ago, that’s spend an entire day in conclave at B4Kids library, reading a good book, was seemingly the ideal thing to do to relax this brain+body.

I was there as early as 8:15 am after an early start at home and some meh workout. I had slept visualizing this day.

And yes, it was simply relaxing and blissful. Like I was with God all day in a special place ie, next to His Heart found in this soulful but thought provoking and action challenging book.

He knew I needed to read this book, this day, and to be assured and reassured of He having my back as I kept on in His Vineyard after 3+decades of grooming just for that.

I mean you will need to read the book too to get a feel…that is if you are ready.
The book is divided into 4 parts worth the read and I mean every letter of each sentence… grateful for the reading maniac I seem to be lol

P1: The Pursuit of God. How do you pursue God with your Heart, your words, your actions, your obedience to His own Word?
P2: The Pursuit of God’s priorities. How do you discover them as laid out for your life, and serve God with your heart and all your love in whichever corner of his vineyard He’s assigned you to?
P3: The Practice of God’s priorities: Do you seek God’s Heart and Grace to do the work you got according to His own priority?
P4: In praise of God’s priorities. What’s your praise if you got all the above going? What’s your legacy, and soul and commitment to keep being after God’s own Heart?

The author Elizabeth George makes no claims of sainthood in her own journey of being a woman after God’s Own Heart. Maybe this is what endeared me to the book so much and made me determined to finish it in one sitting? I read that she and her husband have been active in ministry for more than 30 years…which should actually be over 40 years of we consider that version was updated and expanded in 2006.

I am forever grateful to my new sister and friend Etonde NBA who has this beautiful kids’ library called B4Kids, and graciously told me I was welcome anytime. I don’t know what this book is doing in a kids’ library, maybe so that mothers read some while their kids are reading/doing their own stuffs?
To God be the Glory…
#brainbodybreak
#womanafterGodsHeart
#selfcarebestcare
#IamMAGnectic

Ella Elevated 2 Eternity


6:45 am: It just happened and I didn’t have the heart to take her picture nor see where she’s being hurried or taken too. The boys are going to do that.

I cried with Gaby my last son, David who seemed to love her most, and on whose bed she died, just hugged me so tight. I hope he processes that too.

We are having a family meeting shortly, and oh Ella will be past tense now.

I grieve by reading and writing, so what else can I do now?

We had Ella for exactly 2 years+few days, my heart aches, I just got her a tray of eggs two days ago and I saw her this morning as ran to David’s bed, but she had poo and maybe thrown up and something just told me this is it. I was called to see her fretting and throwing up some more, and in no time she was gone.

Whenever you are attached to a person or pet (these especially who love you unconditionally), their death is like a part of you paralysed.

Oh life and love and all these emotions which only last but for a fleeting…

Bye bye Ella, for all the love and joy and everything in between…we’ll be missing you…

I have been busy creating, and you?


This is very much needed in my country, and am ready
#IamMAGnectic

Hello all, pictures they say speak thousand words.

I hope you now understand how inspired+motivated I have been since the start of this year, bust especially since October when I joined SIWO (success inspires world). It’s like a 🔥 lit up inside me, and I rose like a Phoenix.

Many call me phenomenal, I have branded myself MAGnectic.

Be inspired+motivated in all your endeavours. Thank you for all the support you can’t tell how I love me this tribe.