My spiritual journey reached its climax in stage three. Stage four may seem the longest to fast from food in a stretch ie 28 days, but I am very good to go. I have done two 30 days stretches before and am already familiar with that arm of fasting. Actually through out this journey started March 1st, of all things am fasting from, food is the last on my mind. I am proud of how fasting from all the other 6 vip things has been going.
Some small tips:
In court with another dynamic colleague and her son
Child care options include bringing him along and leaving him in some angelic company while we work
Keep busy, live your life, and keep a cheerful/real demeanour even with a swollen healing eye – so grateful it ain’t a swollen spirit or soul lol;
Nursing healing eye with ice, then professionally adviced warm compresses better
nursing healing eye with soothing aloe vera steeped cotton pads, then cucumbers etc (30.03.18)
If you know your why, and then the how plus when, why bother answering the what? You can save that energy cause your resilience will speak for itself lol
When you break your fast from food each evening, hydrate yourself as much as possible and eat the most balanced next to natural food you can (this has proved a little more challenging for me in this stage though, my belly seems to have shrunk and the appetite taken a hit – but am hanging in and doing my best) ; and while at vip self-care, brush your teeth often and use mouth wash + of course shower a time or two more each day – it all feels so refreshing…
Day 1 internship psychiatric unit
Consultation room flooded by heavy rain
Studying for a Masters in Psychology at home
I am busy with my internship as a therapist and my studies in psychology (just finished an online diploma course), add this up with single motherhood, my writings plus all the reading and other professional occupations, and you can tell I sometimes struggle to keep track of time lol…indeed am so grateful to the universe… I had the most thrilling first day at the psychiatry unit, starting off by doing something I just so love – cleaning so we could settle down quick and start receiving patients lol
Off they went initially for 5 days and lasted 9 days
So I could ride Alain’s bicycle as much as I wanted, and for free lol
I had nine good days home alone this Easter – how grateful could I be?
One other big big bonus from my spiritual journey so far, is that I have a much clearer and concise picture of my 3 but interconnected career paths…
Thank you all who have been wishing me well all along, by grace in 28 days, and these will fly by pretty soon…
Revelations are intensely personal and cannot be meaningfully translated. Any attempt to describe it in words is impossible. Revelation induces only experience. Miracles are more useful now because of their interpersonal nature. In this phase of learning working miracles is important because freedom from fear cannot be thrust upon you. Revelation is literally unspeakable because it is an experience of unspeakable love.
Oga J (my nickname for James Allen) Feb 23-18
He who does not desert his principles when threatened with the loss of every early thing, even to the loss of reputation and life, is the man of power, is the man whose every word endures, is the man of power, is the man whose every word endures, is the man whom the after-world honours, revers and worships.
Dear all, with the above 2 notes, I introduce the 3rd stage of my spiritual and purification journey. I am all set and good to go for 21 days. I know on whose strength and love I count. My God is my salvation, the source of all the Amazing Grace in my life. He couldn’t choose me if He didn’t know me and find me able especially now, not before or after.
I have already gained so much, and even lost some 3.5 kgs wow… the books I have read, movies I have watched, the transformation I already notice in and around me…wow wow wow
And I share another two salient points from The Way
, precisely point 19 and 20:
19. “Will Power. A very important quality. Don’t despise little things, for by the continual practice of denying yourself again and again in such things – which are never futile or trival – with God’s Grace you will add strength and resilience to your will. In that way you will first become master of yourself, and then a guide, a chief, a leader: to compel and to urge and to inspire others, with your word, with your example, with your knowledge and with your authority”; and
20. “It is inevitable that you should feel the rub of other people’s character against your own. After all, you are not a gold coin that everyone likes. Besides, without that friction produced by contact with others, how would you ever lose those corners, those edges and projections – the imperfections and defects – of your character, and acquire the smooth and regular finish, the gentle firmness of charity, of perfection? If your character and the characters of those who live with you were soft and sweet like sponge-cake you would never become a saint”.
Ha, not that am aiming for sainthood oh
So, as I march on, thank you all who have supported and encouraged me – even those who mocked or laughed added to my inspiration and motivation. Seek Him and you’ll find Him if you truly want to. Inner Peace and all His Amazing Grace and Gifts are there in abundance for the asking and contemplating. No formal religion or declaration or word from anyone is required nor talk of mandatory. Indeed, nothing to do with all these irrelevant divisions of the world, sex, race, age, creed, status, and etc etc etc, like we wouldn’t all end up either 6*6 feet below, cremated or any of those?
Hmm, let me hush for now…
by Grace you’ll read from me after 21 days
In truth, freedom and love always,
Peaceful, serene and excited to move on to the next stage
My healing eye is getting better and better with each smile lol
Dear All, when my guardian Angel introduced me to peace pilgrim and some of her literature, I new I just had to read as much as I could find about her. Her picture above is linked to her website, and below are some notes from her “Steps to inner Peace” pamphlet. Who knows who will be inspired and motivated? I share for just that purpose!
Reflections from Peace Pilgrim’s steps to Inner Peace
“You are now in control of your life. You see, the ego is never in control. The ego is controlled by wishes for comfort and convenience on the part of the body, by demands of the mind, and by outbursts of the emotions. But the higher nature controls the body and mind and the emotions. I can say to my body, “Lie down there on that cement floor and go to sleep”, and it obeys. I can say to my mind, “Shut out everything else and concentrate on this job before you”, and it’s obedient. I can say to my emotions, “Be still, even in the face of a terrible situation”, and they are still . It’s a different way of loving. The philosopher Thoreau wrote: If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps he hears a different drummer. And now you are following a different drummer – the higher nature instead of the lower”.
Assume right attitudes toward life: Stop being an escapist or a surface-liver as these attitudes can only cause inharmony in your life.
Live good beliefs: The law governing human conduct apply as rigidly as the law of gravity.
Find your place in the life pattern: You have a part in the scheme of things.
Simplify life to bring inner and outer well-being into harmony: Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens.
Purification of the bodily temple: Are you free from all the bad habits? In your diet do you stress the vital foods – the fruits, whole grains, vegetables and nuts? Do you get to bed early and get enough sleep? Do you get plenty of fresh air, sunshine, exercise, and contact with nature? If you can answer “Yes” to all of these questions, you have gone a long way towards purification of the bodily temple.
Purification of the thoughts: It is not enough to do right things and say right things. You must also think right things.
Purification of the desires: Since you are here to get yourself into harmony with the laws that govern human conduct and with your part in the scheme of things, your desires should be focused in this direction.
Purification of motives: Obviously your motive should never be of greed or self-seeking, or the wish for self-glorification.
Relinquishment of self-will: You have, or it’s as though you have, two selves: the lower self that usually governs you selfishly, and the the higher self which stands ready to use you gloriously.
Relinquishment of the feeling of separateness: All of us, all over the world, are cells in the body of humanity.
Relinquishment of attachments: Only when you have relinquished all attachments can you really be free.
Relinquishment of all negative feelings: Work on relinquishing negative feelings.
I read all I could about her and her work during the first stage of my spiritual/purification journey, and I made these notes during my second stage, needless to say how inspired and motivated I am especially on the eve of my 3rd stage. Indeed as I once learned, when the student of life is ready, the teacher appears. It’s been a real year of Grace so far and I cannot be grateful enough for all.
Ain’t she remarkable just by her smile and posture?
It is the practice here that during third term holidays (summer holidays for you bushfallers/those who live abroad), ‘children who didn’t do well in school, or the naughty ones like myself, were sent or punished to attend holiday classes for at least one month.
We lived on another side of town, while the holiday classes mum chose was in my former primary school premises on the other side of town. I was the only one sent aka ‘punished’ but I looked so forward to that.
Prima, it was a school which held such sweet souvenirs of among others, bathing each day under the tap, fighting, and losing my school bag sometimes. I mean lots of fun and tears all mixed from that era – the first school I attended, close to 6 good formative years. Secundo, being alone meant No Supervision! You got that? I could leave home, get there, do whatever, and then go back home. I was 14 years old, just the right age too.
Soon after starting, a new student came to our class, and she was so soft and a little shy. I walked up to her at break time on her very first day, and after introducing myself, told her I found her remarkable. She already wore glasses even back then and I remember how she looked at me and then blushed oh my.
Remarkable Rachi and I have been friends since then, a friendship which is second to none other from my teenagehood. Life has happened to both of us, but we have been here and there for each other. Better friends today than ever. Rachi (now a bushfaller since university oh) sent me a remarkable coat I call my ‘pinky plush’. It’s so warm, like she knew what I needed and loved.
Maybe I will return to wearing some ‘Whoopi Goldberg’ sort of googles, or one like Rachi’s? or maybe have a pirate’s eye hahaha – anyway back to remarkable Rachi indeed.
And so, recently I asked my remarkable Rachi if I could blog about her, below is an excerpt of our chat which I got permission to share – kinda of a transcript right?
[16/03 09:21] Marie Abanga: Rachi oh, you know I get a segment for my blog called my heroines. You mind I blog about you? If yes then no problem, if no, then any preferred picture I can use?
[16/03 09:21] Marie Abanga: If no picture allowed I still understand and am grateful
[16/03 09:22] Rachi: 😂😂😂 Ayo Ayo (my nickname which has stuck – it means joy in one Nigerian dialect and so I love it)
[16/03 09:24] Rachi: Wetti I don do for ‘ve (she wonders what makes her deserve being my heroine lol) considered heroine? 😂😂. Na ma big forhead weh small sense dey inside?
[16/03 09:24] Marie Abanga: You’ve been here and here with and for me in the most simple ways
[16/03 09:25] Marie Abanga: You’ve let me into your amazing family and into your room and kitchen
[16/03 09:25] Marie Abanga: You’ve sent me my lovely coat of pinky plush
[16/03 09:26] Marie Abanga: And for the boys too, Alain yi own na near relic
[16/03 09:26] Marie Abanga: My heroines are my everyday champions
[16/03 09:26] Rachi: Oh my sweet Ayo, I am blushing (did I say she loves blushing?).
[16/03 09:27] Marie Abanga: Those few who witnessed my craze and read and heard and still loved me so
[16/03 09:27] Rachi: Ayo, what about the toilet and the bathtub? 😂😂😂
[16/03 09:27] Marie Abanga: Rachi, I tell people while they live and say it on my blog and not in church lol
[16/03 09:28] Marie Abanga: That na the most special (I mean the toilet and bathtub, 1st time I ever entered into one was at Rach’s) , you no mind I add that one? Who was already blushing now?
[16/03 09:28] Rachi: You really know. That’s why you are who you are to us too. 💋💋
[16/03 09:29] Rachi: This is what I call the little things in life go a long way.
[16/03 09:30] Marie Abanga: Rachi, I get a special relationship with toilets (remember the post the loo our love?)
[16/03 09:30] Rachi: Tell me
[16/03 09:31] Marie Abanga: Yes they do and I decide this year to always try to wear a smile for all and sundry cause you never know who will see only that one for the day, or whose life will be bettered because of that
[16/03 09:33] Marie Abanga: Growing up a ‘naughty’ child, the toilet was a hiding place from my mum’s spanking. Later oh with my step mum who forbade my brother and I from leaving our room, going to the toilet was the only logical excuse for leaving that room
[16/03 09:34] Rachi: I can imagine Ayo
[16/03 09:34] Marie Abanga: The toilet became our respite and we could go alone or together and just sit in there for even up to 20/30mins until someone knocked lol
[16/03 09:35] Rachi: Weh my dear.
[16/03 09:35] Marie Abanga: Up to today, my toilet in particular is my sanctuary more than my room
[16/03 09:35] Marie Abanga: The safest place in my home and even where I get some incredible inspiration
[16/03 09:36] Marie Abanga: I meditate more often in there, I have even fallen asleep sitting there a few times lol
[16/03 09:40] Marie Abanga: Now the best for this morning is that last week, I got the title and all 12 chapters of my 2019 book right in there, I also finally got my purpose dictated to me in Gold in there. I had my journal with me and I wrote that down and then cried before being grateful. I got the confirmation I had to go back to school and study psychology to cape the therapy achievement, and I just got an internship at Laquentinie hospital to start in April at the psychiatric ward for two months. I wore my pinky plush jacket for the interview thank you darling
[16/03 09:46] Rachi: Wow. All of this is awesome. We really get to catch up. I go try call you this weekend.
And so dear gentle readers and followers, ain’t having such a bossom friend truly remarkable? I mean she is relaxing, reassuring, remarkable, reliable, responsible, resourceful, respectable, restful, regardful, religious, resounding, resplendent and I stop at these lol…
Let me therefore wish us all be inspired and motivated. If you have one as remarkable as Rachi in your life, treasure them, and if you are one as remarkable as Rachi to another, know you are so appreciated…
David running errands and transporting kids for a fare
All three taxi and school bicycles
When Alain was 9 years old and asked for a bicycle, I quickly got him one because I remembered how he loved his tricycle as a kid and will carry David behind as the zoomed the house. I had left Cameroon when he was 8 years, and was still dealing with so much guilt. Anything he asked for (given that I had easier access to him and barely any to his brothers), I quickly bought.
That was how he quickly learnt to ride his bicycle at his granny’s, and became the ‘chef du quartier’ par excellence (translate this as neighbourhood hero by popular acclamation lol). He always had what I call 12 disciples following him around, negotiating for even only 2 mins on the bike. We don’t have a bike culture here, and most middle or struggling families can’t afford the luxury of buying bikes for their kids, not to talk of each kid having their own lol
So, I got one for Alain, and when his brothers started visiting, they’ll learn how to ride on his bicycle. Their dad the ever his type, refused to get theirs for different reasons. He said they’ll run into the road when I offered to send the money to buy them…his first reason had been he had no money…
Anyway, fast forward to 2018 of course, we now have 3 bicycles for three guys in another neighbourhood like at granny’s. David of all, the one his dad feared for most, is the chief errand guy in the area. He flies on the bicycle, he rides almost standing, and does business with his bicycle more than the others.
They (except Gaby oh lol) ride their bikes to school too, and that spares me some change for taxi etc. It gives them so much autonomy and empowers them, they even give me some coins every now and then. They are fast learning to save and manage their finances and I couldn’t be more proud and grateful.
Alain is now with his 3rd bicycle since then, and he takes immaculate care of his bicycles. David does too, Gaby is just Gaby.
He puts the chair and chain on each time hahaha, but he still has some clients too; just for smaller amounts like 25 frs a ride or even a mango in exchange for some time on his own bicycle lol.
Alain bargains the most and he is big guy now right, so his own generation use the bike for more serious reasons like going on a date etc. One paid 500frs just last Tuesday for 3 hours. You can bet he needed that bike, maybe to go impress a chap lol.
I also seize the opportunity to continue teaching them to save and manage their finances, save also for when the bike breaks down and a wheel needs air for example. Alain and David have been doing that so well, Gaby is still trying to get that right hahaha. They even try fixing it themselves sometimes too and from them I have learnt some parts of a bicycle like the chain, brakes, nodes etc
Talking about business further, David is what we call a real Bamileke man (These are like the super business minded in matters of business in our country – a tribe renowned for being business inclined and with all the pride we can give them). He also has a sticker business. Stickers are called ‘autocolants’ in French, and he gets a packet of say 20 at wholesale price, then retails them for a profit.
The gate is the notice billboard lol
Definitely all sizes
The small downside of this business atmosphere here is that they tend to neglect other stuffs like washing their clothes. Nope I don’t do it for them, and nope I don’t have a washing machine, and nope I don’t have a housemaid.
Alain the most responsible often does his without any need for a reminder
So one day when I got back home and they had all gone out wherever, I didn’t want to raise my voice on their return – see am also fasting from anger and attack thoughts etc. I therefore left them a note on the kitchen door, and went to the nearby lake to read in peace. On my return, my obedient sons had done their laundry and we were all so happy. All is well that ends well, parenting can be fun if we are creative and let the children be themselves too.
Be inspired and motivated all you parents especially single mothers in here
How much more serene, peaceful and happy will the next 14 days be? See you on the 15th day and thanks for all the wishes. I have faith in the fast, I treasure my treasure so much, and love the path I see in the horizon carefully charted just for me. The entire path may be daunting, the journey initially lonely, the steps shaky – but in God I Trust and believe in Angels…
My sons, my GA and some of you have been so supportive! I am so grateful and carry everyone in my thoughts…
I have given up a lot including my choice to be angry like when someone stepped on my toes at the market, I can’t even raise my voice again anyhow hahaha
I have lost some relationships already, some are now simply put most shallow. That’s the price you pay when you don’t know how to belong or care about what others say, think or do in reaction to your actions be they for personal growth…which they sadly see as selfish, weird or self-absorbed…hush lady enough now, there we go… What did you learn from the movie The Shift by Dr Dyer?
Oh hello world, I didn’t plan this post but so much bliss today, I just had to share. Glad am still on the 2nd day of my 3 days break from stage one of my purification journey.
I had planned to work from home today and go on a long walk in the morning because I have a slight discomfort with my right ankle, but I had not planned to spend the day babysitting. But hmm, I love babysitting and got so much bliss doing that today.
My little angel neighbours
Archange my lover in red
Samira and I having breakfast with love
As soon as I came back from the long walk which took me through the back of a secondary school where I helped separate a bloody fight between boys of Alain’s age, helped a man who had just had an epileptic seizure and also a girl carry her gallons of water, I received 4 of my small angels in the neighbourhood. They often come around when they hear my voice or Alain’s, because they love being around us. Aimé also brought Samira for some hours while she went to the market and ran other errands. I ate with her and put some bugs bunny on the other laptop so we could each keep busy.
It’s an honour to wash a baby the first time you see them
And then, when a daughter of yours brings her baby girl to you for the day and night, you are simply honoured. I spent the afternoon in further bliss, cradled and fed my granddaughter, and gave her a warm bath at night before she slept. There was no melancholy at all thinking of my girl Ange Claire, and I knew it is well.
Sometimes, we find so much bliss and serenity and inner peace where least expected. Sometimes, when our plans and programs change, let’s keep open minds and hands to receive what else comes – we just may be as pleasantly surprised and merry as I was today. Did I even ever mention having a nursery school was one of my top retirement plans? Lord help me – I am just full of gratitude for all the talents/gifts and passions I have been bestowed!!!
I was seriously walking on my path on day 6 of my purification journey, when Aime my love surprised me with the above snaps as she came back from seeing her son off to school. I had been thinking of the words to a poem titled My Path, and so think these fotos make a good match lol
I feel that inner compass shifting towards which direction I can’t tell yet so clearly. I have had a searching soul for so long, only late year it dawned to me it had become a serene soul. The poems written thereafter will be published eventually and can sure attest to that.
I realize there has been a gradual preparation for a spiritual journey since 2008 when I learnt the toughest lesson I think I’ll ever learn from life. The daughter I had been so badly craving for, was born and buried in less than 24 hours. The pain I felt on that has only been seconded by the pain I felt when my brother Gabriel died.
Ange Claire as I named her, was born on the 27 of February 2008 at noon, and died on the 28th of February 2008 at 3:52 am. That lesson was called DETACHMENT.
Today, I am ready as directly from within, to start with my official purification as from March 1st 2018.
The following are some of the books accompanying me along:
Every Day Meditation with James Allen;
Fasting and Eating for Health: A Medical Doctor’s Program For Conquering Disease;
A Course In Miracles;
Chicken Soup for Your Soul: Counting Your Blessings
I do not consider the post I wrote this morning to be among the two I had left to write before a 7 day fast which includes fasting from blogging (but I can read other blogs thank God). This therefore is the one but last post lol.
That said, last week I did my first solo travel in 2018, that is, almost two months after the year started. Ha, the life of a single mother is really embracing me well oh.
I had planned, (yes am more of a plan and prepare type of traveler) to take the 7 am bus because traffic is avoided and if you are lucky like I was, you get no seat partner (the 7 am bus is hardly ever all full). I live 45 mins away so my internal anxious clock was up at 3.48 am poor me – my eyes tell much right?
The trip itself to be honest, gave me 60% of the soulful satisfaction I sought from that trip. Going like coming back, I enjoyed some invaluable solitude and heard so much from my inner voice. The other 40% of the trip in Yaounde itself was equally so soulfully enriching:
I felt ready to go to the home of a papa mentor who died in January 2017, and with whom I had visited for a week, a week before his demise. His family was very happy, and mama with whom I had a soulful chat, had a deli plate of salad made for me…just see
I rested some, and played a little with my new friend Coran before stepping out to visit a Sage who would have been my Phd supervisor before life happened and I put that on hold; we had a lengthy soul conversation and a few good laughs – ah I can say he has aged with grace – his humility and modesty filled me with inspiration for a man who had once occupied some high ranking positions in this country;
I then met with the person I actually went to Yaounde to see, another sage whom I had envied from childhood. Just walking by their home from school back then, was a big refuge from our dungeon…needless to say I flash-backed and expressed my gratitude for everything. I listened to them for a while before taking my leave;
When I got back to my host by 8.45 pm, they had just finished dinner and were waiting for me for evening prayers. That family among others had won my soul by their always trying to eat together, share everything on the table, much gist and all while eating. And the prayers, men even some grown kids now bushfallers dialed in via God sent whatsapp so we could all pray together. It was simply so soulful;
The next morning, I went to visit a baby mama of mine and we had another soulful morning. It had been a while, and she is one of those angels you meet like that when you believe in them. I had actually met but her mum in another city, and she told me her daughter and I would love each other when we meet. We did meet and have remained friends since then. Her own son is called Gaby too lol;
During that trip, I read almost the entire Peace Pilgrim and oh boy it was like she lived in these present times. I will not lack the reverence and respect due that great lady, her vision and all, by writing any review period. Anyone wanting to read that pocket book, can get a free copy from ‘friends of peace pilgrim’;
That trip and all the listening I did, gave me the extra nudge to listen to another dearest mentor the next day after I returned from Yaounde for an awesome 40 minutes. Alain later told me he had never seen that. I was asked twice if I was on the line, and I said yes. To me, it was perhaps a once in a life time opportunity to listen to my super busy mentor so. Secondly, listening to me is a virtue and I am so glad I can listen to people without interrupting them. This skill will help me a lot as a therapist and so am not joking with it. I have sure by Grace come a very long way, I can never doubt that.
Dear all therefore, I just wanted to share these seven soul musings of my recent trip to Yaounde. That city alone holds so much meaning and memories, each time I visit is a whole soul experience on its own.
There we go… (Hope not too too many souls and soulful in here hahaha)
mum, author, mental health advocate, therapist, inspires & motivates with personal experiences