#readingisfundamental #personaldevelopment #children My son is already on my third book wow. He started the first one on his birthday 08.10.21, he had told me he planned to start reading all of them when he turns 18. Same thing with his journal from me. He is studying the sciences at school but has as diverse an interest in life like myself hahahahaha I am simply so blessed to see my first son have such #determination , #discipline and #dedication at this age. Nurture them young and watch them bloom their best ooooo. Let them know your story, your struggles, your strengths, your challenges, your celebrations. I am actually wrapping up my 8th book dedicated to him, because he is the biggest inspiration behind that project.
#consciousliving
#attutudematters
#gratefulthankfulblessed
Tag: Honesty
Are you a solution to their problem or the problem itself?
In my unique and characteristic style, I share my Sunday Reflections on some causes of irretrievable breakdown of relationships. I ponders on the question if your partner is the solution to your problems or they are your problem?
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=240149120352615&id=2566942993599738&sfnsn=mo
Men are beginning to join the conversation on domestic violence in my community
It’s a big step in the right direction already when men sit on the same panel with women and speak up or out.
When men join the conversation this earnestly, we can only be full of Hope that one day both genders will stop ‘fighting’, get their knees off each other’s neck, and live in harmony especially in their intimate relationships. There will as a result be no more domestic violence, abuse, gender bases violence and children suffering from adverse childhood experiences
Are you part of the broken educational system?
Covid-19 Confinement and Codependency
Are you in a codependent Relationship? How are you coping during this pandemic? I was reflecting on this live over at Facebook.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1678940638914400&id=100003954406995&sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=i
From my Therapy Trenches: Mirror on the Wall
Mirror Mirror on the wall…?
Hello all and happy new week. I had a pretty busy weekend (like there are some lazy ones more often right?) Hope everyone is hanging in there.
I thought to start sharing some shenanigans from my Therapy/therapist trenches (I mean I am in daily therapy myself, and as a therapist I work with clients every now and then). I basically am my own therapist and the boys are an excellent co-therapist team.
Today I look at one of the techniques I use in my trench. I ask some clients to look at the mirror and tell me what they see. I had one in the office (when I was at the hospital) and I always hope they carry one in their bags too (thinking of the ladies lol). After that, I ask them to talk to the person they see in that mirror.
I got real inspired to use this mirror technique after I was able to reach out to a client after two ‘unfruitful sessions’ at the hospital. I asked her the third time she came if she had a mirror in her back. She frowned but pulled it out and started making excuses for her appearance and ‘pimpled face’ oh my. I told her I saw all of that but that’s not why I asked if she had a mirror. She said she hadn’t made up that morning because she was running late. After trying to resist my urging her to ‘just look at herself in the mirror’, she did. I told her to do that for just 3 minutes but after the 2nd minute she broke down crying.
I then encouraged her to feel the feelings, face the fears and write down all she wanted. Later on, I encouraged her to talk to the person in the mirror.
It was after everything a wonderful experience for both of us. A few others have appreciated that technique too.
I have a mirror Infront of my room, I share the mirror with the boys. I look at it to see myself in all my shades, and I love to talk to myself. I do that before I leave home and before I go to bed each day.
I find this technique awesome and don’t know if any other person uses this, or has had to participate in any such experience.
Until next time, have a great week and stay inspired+motivated everyone
I finally wrote a letter to the girl I once was…
EPSON MFP image
Wow, sometimes swallowing your own prescription pill is hard I must confess.
Come see me to be sharp in advising my clients to write a letter to their younger selves lol. It took a call for stories (for an award hahaha) over at World Pulse (which I equally just joined after years of procrastination I must add).
Anyways, I wouldn’t critique myself so much. I had done a photo therapy and even slept with my childhood photo under my pillow.
Please, go here and read the letter yours truly wrote to Ayo as I was then popularly known…
Have a great weekend everyone
Just Say it as it is…
Just say it as it is
Just say it as you see
Just say it as you think
Just say it as you feel
What is it you want
What is it you need
What is it you can
What is it you can’t
There is so much shallow
When you don’t say it
When you fake it
Because you want to make it
It may work for a while
But can last only a while
And the price you’ll pay
May lead you a painful way
It is worth every dime
To say it as it is
I ain’t saying no more
Yes yes to please
When my soul will miss
The serenity it so seeks
Sometimes silence says it too
If they don’t like it
If they don’t want it
If they don’t respect it
Not my worry
I will just say it as it is
(c) Marie Abanga 2017
p.s: Am not sure if this is a throwback poem because I wrote same last year, but I needed to remind myself of this now more than ever. The above picture taken in 2007 and found in my drawer recently, is clearly at time when I was a big people pleaser to the detriment of my own self. Today, as I learn how to take more and more care of my emotional and mental wellbeing, ‘saying it as it is’ becomes indispensable. Be you inspired and motivated and have a great new month full of self care, and just saying it as it is…
How do you define yourself? Here is my how…
Interviewed by a TV network on swearing in day: am I interviewlicious or what lol?
That I die, but in the meantime I live giving it my best
I have searched until am now serene
Finding that strength isn’t ever easy to say the least…
How do you define yourself Marie Abanga asked the journalist? and I said the following as it flowed from my heart: “I am a Person of Passions and a Tale of Talents”. What else would you want to know when someone defines themselves in such clear terms? But the look on the journalist’s face wasn’t seemingly satisfactory even if he didn’t say so. The interview was by TV 5 Africa on epilepsy and mental illness, questioning me in my capacity as the Country Director of the Gbm Foundation.
Their background check had indicated I was a lawyer, a mental health advocate, and an author. They didn’t get the update that I was equally a CBT Therapist, a clinical psychologist, a motivational speaker and a life coach. When I introduced myself therefore at the beginning, I rolled through all the different stuffs I do and how passionate I am about each one and grateful for the different talents. As an author, I have written over 5 books and several poems, some of which I have turned into songs and look forward to going into a studio to record same. I will just stop at these few passions with their accompanying talents.
Indeed, my career path is in three dimensions although I can see them merging in one big jumble in 5 years. The lawyer will meet the Dr in Psy and the author will also join them and one new big path will emerge for me to keep following wherever they lead in all stubborn but passionate faith.
And so, I forge on with my passions, and the one which captivates and occupies me more recently is psychotherapy. I have a diploma with merits in psychology and a distinctions in CBT Therapy. I want to take an Msc in mental health psychology when schools resume and I also want to have a better understanding of addictions, substance abuse, dis-intoxication and rehabilitation.
Indeed, I was recently so honoured when two bloggers offered to write guest articles on the above. I will be putting them up on Wednesday and Friday, and intend to create a page for addiction and resources and its link to mental health.
Having found my purpose and got a very clear revelation of who I am, getting grounded in how I define myself brings me great joy and fills me with tremendous gratitude to God – my Higher Power for all the inspiration and motivation.
And you gentle readers and followers, how do you define yourself if I may ask?
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