Tag Archives: Hope

Executive Addiction:How to Know When to Seek Help by Eva Benoit


Executive Addiction

Pre script: Am so grateful to be receiving guests posts these days especially on a topic so close to heart and home. I have seen many addicted and so much pain, I can only hope they reach out everyday even after a relapse

Are you living a double life? Are you, by all appearances, a hardworking professional by day and an addict by night? How do you know when you need to seek help?

If you’ve asked yourself these questions and are concerned you need help for an addiction, take heart knowing there are a lot of options for you to get the treatment you need. Our guide is here to support you on your journey to a healthier life.

First, if you have difficulty making it through the day without some form of chemical stimulant, or if you need alcohol or some other depressant to bring you down, you are probably an addict. Additionally, there are many other telltale signs of addiction you should be aware of, including:

  • Thinking frequently about your drug of choice (DOC)

  • Feeling like you can’t fit in or make it without your DOC

  • Performing uncharacteristic or dangerous behaviors in order to get your DOC

  • Regularly being under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol

Addiction is less about how often or how much you use, and more about the consequences of your using. If your substance use causes problems in your life, you may have an abuse issue.

Addicts are all ages, shapes and sizes, and from every career path and socioeconomic background. Addiction is also a chronic issue, meaning that it’s a lifelong condition; if you’re an addict, you’re one for life, and you will need to work on your recovery every day.

If you’re hesitant to seek treatment out of fear it will require you to take time off from work, the good news is that you can most likely get help from an outpatient facility on your schedule; this would allow you to continue working over the course of your treatment. Inpatient centers can be effective if you need to get away from your daily life and the impulse to use, but that makes it difficult to keep things close to “normal life.” If you want or need to continue working, outpatient treatment may be your best option.

If you seek medical treatment, your information will not be shared with your boss. The only time a treatment professional would share that you are in treatment would be if you gave them written permission, or if they felt you were a danger to yourself or others. Otherwise, people can find out only if you share your news, or if they guess it from your behavior. If you take medical leave and you don’t want to share the reason with your boss or co-workers, they will not know the nature of your absence.

Check with your company’s HR department about your company’s medical and mental health benefits options. Your company may have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that allows you to take time off to get better without fear of losing your job. Make an appointment with an HR rep to discuss your situation confidentially; they can be a great referral resource, as well as answer questions about your options. Even if you work for a small firm, your company’s health insurance may cover substance abuse treatment in full or in part.

Outside of the office, there are many additional resources for those seeking help for addiction. For example, the SAMHSA National Helpline offers free, confidential treatment referral in English and Spanish for individuals and their families seeking help for substance abuse. The number is 1-800-662-HELP (4357), and the organization takes calls 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Additionally, you can find treatment centers in your area using SAMHSA’s locator tool.

If you’re an addict, you have a choice to make every day, every hour, every minute whether you use or not — but you don’t have to struggle alone. You have many options for getting the treatment you need. Don’t let the stress of your job — or the fear of losing it — keep you from taking action for your well-being. Choose right now to get the help you need.

About Eva

About 6 years ago, Eva Benoit left her job as an office manager to pursue being a life, career, and overall wellness coach. She specializes in helping professionals with stress and anxiety, but welcomes working with people from all walks of life. She works with her clients to discover and explore avenues that will bring them balance, peace, and improved overall well-being that can last a lifetime. Her website is evabenoit.com and she is author of the upcoming book, The 30-Day Plan for Ending Bad Habits and Improving Overall Health.

Have a great weekend everyone and know you are not alone in any struggles

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Introducing The Hope Centre and Yensi my heroine


 

Hello world, happy new week. A few months ago, I received a wonderful and dynamic lady called Yensi Helen Jokem in my modest abode at a time when my left eye was threatening shut down. I concluded after that trial that indeed in life, it could sometimes get worse before it gets better.  Hope kept me going during that very challenging period of time, one which equally saw me doing a 70 days spiritual journey with long intermittent fasting.

Yensi is the Founder and CEO of  The Hope Center, and she has a dynamic team; oh how I wish I were one of them. It is so awesome working on something so noble as instilling hope for one of the most vulnerable and marginalized group of human beings. Whether we all agree or not, women and girls are victims of told and untold atrocities all over the world and in alarming proportions. Indeed, violence against women seems to be so common and would I call it ‘evil effective’, to the point that it is being replicated in wars and civil unrest on large scales with the intention of causing long term physical and psychological damage to the victims and all those concerned with her existence (when the woman is damaged, her entire family suffer and her husband’s ego and reputation is tainted once and for all). Here I am talking about violence against women which is now internationally considered a weapon of war.

Truth be told, if we taught our children to respect one another and not resort to violence as the means or resolving disputes and conflicts, they would likely grow up with those values. They would respect each other as siblings and partners, and will chose dialogue over violence more often than we currently see.

 

We survivors of Domestic Violence also need to share our stories through all mediums possible. We need to stop the vicious cycle of victimhood to silencehood to nothinghood. Anyways, I did when Yensi asked me to, and was really honoured when my story was featured in the very first edition of their awesome magazine: “STOP THE DV” with DV meaning Domestic Violence. Yensi and I both attended the landmark and over due Leading Ladies conference in Yaounde some time ago, and that is where she gave me a copy of the magazine featuring my own survivor and success story. What an honour and priviledge.

DV is for real and we really need to be the hope for one another. DV has led to mental health challenges and illnesses, the trauma can be destabilizing and damaging for the rest of one’s life. It can never be overemphasized, the time to speak up is always now. Stigma is still so rife even ‘developed countries’, what more can we expect in ‘least developed countries’ like Cameroon?

It is for all the above, and for the charm and courtesy I find in Yensi, that I am proud to consider her one of my heroines. Thank you Yensi for reaching out to me, and for all the awesome work you do out there. There is help available people, do not suffer in silence out of shame and stigma.

P.S: If you or any organization you know, would love to donate to the Hope Center, kindly do not hesitate to contact Yensi or the center through their Facebook Page.

America’s Angels and other musings related to mental health…


Hi World,

I don’t know how to qualify my moods today. All is not so good and am near pissed. Why should what happens in America or wherever shake me so? I mean I had a nightmare last night (hardly recall any precedence zut). The KKK were torching 3 homes to be precise – I woke up ant it was 1.28 am I have a clock that reflects on my ceiling. I just have to type all this out and hopefully calm down enough to continue my day which is equally so taxing already with a phone crash last night.

So, yesterday I wrote of America’s ghostsAmerica’s ghosts – I had been planning before the terrible incident of yesterday to blog about America’s Ghosts and America’s Angels after reading the wonderful book by Steve Fugate titled Love Life Walk.

The ghosts of Jim Crow, of the Civil War or the Appropriation, Misapporiations and reservations, the treatment of natives and immigrants (who aren’t fortunate to belong to certain families descendants of immigrants themselves) oh my gosh gosh gosh – I really need to stop reading so vast and caring so much. I now can understand why events likle the collapse of the Berlin Wall or the murder of JFK and etc could drive some off the edge to maniaville completely.

But no I wouldn’t go off any cliff because I am tougher. I will brave this but I now know I should mind more of my business than what the media trusts my way. I will chose what I click period. Las Vegas shooting touched me  and I reached out to mine – but maybe this time because it was in a church and the victim toll – oh my …

And yet America has so many angels. I visited 5 different states in 2015 and took all means of transportation I could just to be in the move – name it I took it maybe except private jet (which I wasn’t even hoping to). I walked of course, took the bus (both in the city and cross city – two different companies even), train, cesna, plane, even hitched a ride in Vermont after visiting my Precious Pammy at the hospital and it was getting dark etc and I have no recollection of being treated shabily. I mean I remember Richie who played some instrument (ah yes the Clarinet) and bout me a soda and told stories all the way, I remember oh this lady who bought me food in the train from VT to DC, I remember Sherry who invited me to spend the night over at Virginia, I mean Pammy whom I had never met who invited me to the US in the first place and contributed towards my air ticket, made up such a nice room for me even though hers was in such a mess, so so many good memories I can’t even remember again. I thought it was because I was a foreigner (don’t ask me if I carried a sign), but when I read Steve Fugate’s book I knew there were Angels indeed in America.

Sadly now, When such a terrible thing occurs, a culprit is to be found asap. Mental health is a suspect par excellence and it’s even cool if records can prove that asap so the case can be closed. But I have known quiet a two hands full in America who live with various mental health challenges, illnesses and etc and they are oh so nice or simply keep to themselves.

Seriously, I am shaken and taking some big measures. No twitter for a while and hardly any facebook. Even if the fire is burning on Mount Cameroon heading towards Douala IDC!!! I am reviewing my interet list on G+ and of course I wouldn’t click any sensational headline again – serves me right.

I know a lot of killings and crap and hatred and hurt out there, but for a human being to calmly take a gun in a church or wherever and gun down others – then something is really wrong somewhere.

I pray for myself and the angels in America to not let the ghosts and nightmare of that country close in on us and mess up further our fragile mental healths.

God Bless America indeed: I feel better having ranted this out here

P.S: AM LEAVING ALL TYPOS TO REMIND ME OF HOW SHAKEN I WAS WHEN I WROTE THIS POST

Hopeless…Hopeful


 

She crawled under her bed

It made no more sense

Such sham & shame

The Weight

Mind & Mass

Needless living on

Who cares what goes on

Sensless, pointless, needless

It is truly

HOPELESS

……….

she publishes a 4th memoir

Kinda movie

The 360°

Transformations

Hardwork

Tough Choices & Sacrifices

Faith, Hope, Love

It is truly

HOPEFUL

……….
(C) 2017 Marie Abanga

The end

Hopeful and Hopeless directions.  Opposite traffic sign.

P.s: Officially and in my inspired way, fully embracing my story and engraving it in my heart and on all walls of my home. I actually did crawl and stay for a while under my hospital bed the morning my daughter died, I prayed the ground open up for me. I spiralled for 6 months and survived another 6. Then although pregnant once again, it felt not worth living. I picked up a knife and then I got a kick from within and I dropped it hot. The transformation started dripping in from that moment… Be inspired…

Please could you just…


Please could you just listen

Listen to my tale

Tale so fade

Could very well be stale

Nothing you can do

But still

Please just listen

……….

Please could you just read

Read what I write

Written with rollers

Rolling every other direction

Some could be rash

Trash or bash

Nothing you may do

But still

Please just read

……….

Please could you just say something

Anything but silence

Silence drives me crazy

Crazier than I might already seem

Never mind the impact now

Just tell me how u feel

How it is, how it was

Nothing it may create

But still

Please just speak

……….

(C) 2017 Marie Abanga

P.s: How many times have we overlooked such basic and life saving ways of helping someone even ourselves?

Mother…


Mother

No one can take your place oh  mother

If you be mad the child still hopes

Yet you may not be conscious about that and it hurts

Nevertheless we all think of you our mothers

Most of us mothers know what is unconditional love

We felt it right from within the womb

Hence we may find it hard to think the baby ain’t ours forever

The seasons change, the years go by

That baby could become a mother too

If you mother never let her be, never taught her to love yet let go, ain’t that an unhealthy mental cycle in place?

Oh mother, you who so give your all

To love them all or almost

Relationships sometimes so complex

Challenging and yet nurturing

Dread and dare and darling all dished out

Is that how it works for all? Could that be nature’s doing?

I wish there were a mother’s manual but I think flowing from the heart is best… No matter how mixed the signals, mother is all we have, motherhood ain’t never an easy hood

 

Love your mothers nothing withstanding, it ain’t easy for neither them nor us – above all take care of your mental health – I attend the IMA Gold gathering with my first son and I am super excited he’ll be seeing me on stage for the first time

Am invited to talk on Single motherhood by Amy Banda on her IMA get togethers


UPHOTO_20170317_173209 400

Hello World, the first time I was invited on the IMA Series (Inspiring moments with Amy), I didn’t feel as excited as I do now. Actually, a few days ago (May 8th) while still in Dakar which I so dared, I received the following from Amy:

” Dear Marie,

I trust this mail reaches you in good health.

How have you been? I trust GOD all is well.

I am inviting you to be a panelist on the IMA GOLD monthly’s second panel this May 19, 2017on ‘Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Mother’s Guide’ which seeks to illustrate reasons why single motherhood is prevalent at such times, deliberate on strategies of single mothers’ success to bring up the children in an upright manner and  pinpoint the challenges single mothers face daily to raise their kids. Knowing you are an all round contributor to peace, human rights and coaching’

This topic seeks to illustrate the worth of the mother at home, and her multi tasking abilities to do a lot at a blow. It will be great having you share your enriching experience to help single mothers benefit from your testimonies.The ‘Making Mothers Matter’ enriching encounter will address single mother hood issues, the 21st century mother and the ever evolving technological trends which keep her away from her motherly duties. Why recognize a mother talks with principal aim to enrich the relationship between parents and their children. “

Why the excitement?

  1. Why – simply because I am a very proud single mother period!!! I am aware of the challenges, I have faced quiet many but I wouldn’t rush this stage of my life nor wish it to pass any fast. I am making the best lemonade I can and already reaping profits from this business – the joys are oh so joyful;
  2. I will inspire many I know who are still so overwhelmed and even ashamed of their situation in life… even those who ‘choose’ single motherhood deliberately, still deal with some melancholy and all which in my opinion isn’t healthy to one’s mental health at all – like many other things we do in life, if we don’t have it figured out or on check in our minds, the output can be shaggy or even lead to an outright meltdown;
  3. I love coaching on an audience scale instead of doing one on one. When I do the one on one, I get carried away too much into my client’s story, and well I spend more time with just one person instead of talking to many for the same time and then answering questions from the audience;
  4. To top it up, am very excited at seeing my dear Amy’s projects flourish. She is so talented and has so many ideas and projects. It is my honour to help in whatever way I can and she rightly considers me one of her big fans. I have been known to motivate her even on her sick bed;

What is there to be proud about single motherhood?

  1. Single mother is a mother like every other mother, but a mother who does it singlehandedly. Some single mums have their families to help them like Obama’s mother had, while others don’t. Doing such a job for me deserves pride and not prejudice;
  2. The fact that inspite of all the odds, you get to deal with the shame, guilt, pity, loneliness, and many more challenges to be this single mother each new day for as long as it lasts, is a feat to be proud of;
  3. By agreeing to go on that platform, I want to help the single mothers present and those watching from their homes to heal & deal:deal & heal

I will sure keep us all posted how this goes, it’ll sure be a boost to my mental health and my coaching journey.

Here is a picture film of the Pink edition in March on Female Entrepreneurship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSX6RNoP6Eg&t=327s (My face is at 6.40-6.42) lol

Have a nice week us all and happy mid month

Nice Lemon: For toxic situations & Relationships


lemon
Forget about its acidity
Hello World, May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I am dedicated to doing daily (weekdays) posts all having a relation to mental health. Today, I want to share some tips to helping detox from toxic situations and relationships which can harm our mental health. I picked them up from one of the many books I have read, one day I will find that book again and do a review – If I can recall it is about boderline personality people and how to cope: Hope it helps
NICE
N stands for: No. Practice saying it. And remember that you don’t need to explain why the answer is no.
I stands for: I. Express how you feel: “I feel …”; “I think …”; “I know …”
C stands for: Clear commitments and agreements. Strive for clarity when you communicate your expectations and commitments.
E stands for: Enough! Don’t hesitate to denounce abusive behaviour.
LEMON
L stands for: Leave the room or the situation.
E stands for: Emotional distance. Reduce the amount of personal information you share. Limit the topics of conversation.
M stands for: Move out of the house, or away from the area.
O stands for: On your terms. Visits and other interactions are your prerogative.
N stands for: Not answering, or selectively answering, calls, letters, e-mail.
Have a nice weekend us all: Remember you can make the best lemonade with all nice lemon you find

How do you care?


how do you care

How do you care for yourself?

Do you care to spend some time with you?

Do you care to find out what’s up with you?

Do you care to try to care more for you?

And you, how do you care for me?

Do you care to listen to me?

Do you care to talk with me?

Do you care to show some empathy?

Do you care even for a little sympathy?

And you, yes you, how do you care?

About that child so sick in his mind

Their actions all flag read

They try to reach out to cry out

Even adults are not spared

Cause we all aren’t the same, some minds are healthier than other

So how would you care?

When a patient walks into your door?

When an e-mail comes into your inbox?

When you phone rings at odd hours?

When maybe the brave track you down the street?

Would you call the cops?

Or maybe the ambulance?

Prescribe more pills and send them off?

It’s good to know how you’d care

It makes all the difference how you care

The care you show the care you get elsewhere

I have tried and it works

And let’s be real: it could be anyone

Feeling the knack anyday

And so please all: think about how you care

How you care about you and others

Be not Ashamed


no shame

Be not ashamed to cry

You can’t store it all forever

Crying is no sign of weakness

Humanness if you ask me

An emotion just like others

Be not ashamed to cry

When it hurts so bad

When the knee gets knocked

When the mind goes mad

Crying can help inside out

Be not ashamed to tell

When you’ve gone thru stuff

So shameful you want out

Telling could bring such help

And who knows who you help

Be not ashamed to write

Write it all for you or us

So much therapy if you try

You have to take a step

Ignore stigma and shame

Be not ashamed to read

Read yours and ours

Keeping the brain as busy

Just like you should your body

But be not ashamed of your pace

Be not ashamed to hope

Even when all seems hopeless

The last beat maybe bring a break

Hope that break could lead to a breakthrough

What is life without hope?

Be not ashamed to love

Love yourself and others

Try and try and try

You never can tell when

One more time could be deal

Be not ashamed to be You

P.S: This has personally helped me a lot. I remember hearing Obama and other big figures say asking, crying, reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness but of strenth