Tag Archives: inspiration

Something huge about Hope is in the making…


Happy midweek everyone. Now when I started this year and my spirit told me it was my year of Grace, I just wrote that down and said Amen.

The above picture is from one of those Facebook picture readers. I love and agree to that one intoto. And below are some 7 facts about me they got right too.

There is something in the making and I got a name and a small team already.

Yes, that’s life for someone like myself who is freedom and love. A tale of talents and a vessel of her Almighty Father. Where ever He Leads I go. His Grace Alone is sufficient.

Thank you in advance for all your best wishes and prayers

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From my Therapy Trenches: Mirror on the Wall


Mirror Mirror on the wall…?

Hello all and happy new week. I had a pretty busy weekend (like there are some lazy ones more often right?) Hope everyone is hanging in there.

I thought to start sharing some shenanigans from my Therapy/therapist trenches (I mean I am in daily therapy myself, and as a therapist I work with clients every now and then). I basically am my own therapist and the boys are an excellent co-therapist team.

Today I look at one of the techniques I use in my trench. I ask some clients to look at the mirror and tell me what they see. I had one in the office (when I was at the hospital) and I always hope they carry one in their bags too (thinking of the ladies lol). After that, I ask them to talk to the person they see in that mirror.

I got real inspired to use this mirror technique after I was able to reach out to a client after two ‘unfruitful sessions’ at the hospital. I asked her the third time she came if she had a mirror in her back. She frowned but pulled it out and started making excuses for her appearance and ‘pimpled face’ oh my. I told her I saw all of that but that’s not why I asked if she had a mirror. She said she hadn’t made up that morning because she was running late. After trying to resist my urging her to ‘just look at herself in the mirror’, she did. I told her to do that for just 3 minutes but after the 2nd minute she broke down crying.

I then encouraged her to feel the feelings, face the fears and write down all she wanted. Later on, I encouraged her to talk to the person in the mirror.

It was after everything a wonderful experience for both of us. A few others have appreciated that technique too.

I have a mirror Infront of my room, I share the mirror with the boys. I look at it to see myself in all my shades, and I love to talk to myself. I do that before I leave home and before I go to bed each day.

I find this technique awesome and don’t know if any other person uses this, or has had to participate in any such experience.

Until next time, have a great week and stay inspired+motivated everyone

Meanwhile over at SIWO, there is a great POETRY CONTEST Hurray


via ~~ SIWO POETRY CONTEST ~~

I am so excited to begin my week with such an exciting project. I mean lol, I don’t need no Visa to go to this one hahaha

Come on all Poetry lovers and wannabees and mellows like myself, let’s give it a go and have some fun. Who knows what incredible network and visibility one can get right?

Am submitting a poem on Wednesday so Help me …

Since a Visa to London is not a Visa to Life, I have been busy living lol


 

So Friday is here peeps and I have been busy living indeed wow. I would have been in London this week had I received the visa I applied for to go attend a World Global Ministerial Mental Health Summit. But hmmmmmmmmm, no definite feedback yet from the visa guys other than an email saying:

Unfortunately, the processing of your application has not been straightforward and we will be unable to decide your application within our customer service targets. We are continuing to work on your application and aim to make a decision as soon as possible.

And seriously now, other than a wow wow wow; what could be a better reaction? I applied on the 21st of September and got that on the 3rd of October. My only qualms is my passport ‘held up’ in all this hahaha.

Anyways, that visa to London wasn’t a visa to Life so I continued living my thrilling life lo. So brief but very important timeline shall we?

  1. Friday October 5th 2018, I have a great workout and leave for work so fresh. Am doing some series on Facebook titled ‘Musewithmarie; Keeping it Real; and #MyVoice’ – where I raise awareness to causes that matter like domestic violence, mental health and wellness etc;
  2. Sunday October 7th 2018 I get to vote for the first time in my 39 years of living wow wow wow. I was to fly out on Friday 5th, and when I didn’t get that visa to London, I knew I had no reason not to vote. Getting registered and getting that card took me three years and I wasn’t going to let that down the drain right? To put this presidential elections in some perpective, we got the same President since Ronald Regan became president – like how many guddam years today? I read he is the 2nd longest serving President in Africa wow;
  3. Monday October 8th was my son Alain’s 15th birthday and that was enough to make my week.
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The winning team, I now agree the CIC is in the no smiling stage lol

That evening we went out for dinner and to my amazement he contributed for the outing – I mean I would have missed all this had been off to London right?

I share just those 3 to let someone in some difficult or challenging situation right now know that there can always be a silver lining to a dark cloud if we dare look very well. At least for me that worked once again. I was a funded delegate and all I spent was time and visa fees (big amount of 200 usd for which I even did a fundraiser ha). But am not sitting here and cursing or whining (other than that I’ll appreciate getting my passport back, sooner than not). No, I am busy with living and for this I need no visa…

 

Have a great weekend everyone

Could you just listen?


via Could you just listen?

That was a poem I wrote SIWO last Sunday to usher in the month of October. In 5 days we celebrate world mental health day and statistics remain bleak in spite of all the awareness and resources available.

I am most grateful for the listening gift received in full some months ago.

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect

 

 

How I embrace alternative treatment?


Last week I was down with malaria which starting attacking my system on Monday 10th and ran up to Thursday 14th.

On Monday I tried to ignore it and worked out vigorously but that didn’t do it. I wrapped myself all up and did sleep straight that night but the next day Tuesday I felt nah you got to go see a doctor and get a prescription. You can see the pictures of the medicines prescribed above, but I knew I couldn’t rely only on those medicines.

I added some natural herbs cooked and covered myself in there so I sweat some crap out for 5-9 minutes, you can see me sweating really good after each of those wrap ups lol, and I did that for three days /twice a day. That also helped me sleep much better and I felt better too.

Eating is hard when am sick, but I knew I had to pamper myself and get some much needed nutrients from some food anyway. So I got me some river joy and cerelac (normally for kids and babies but so what), added bananas, avocado, soft bread and much much tea. I tried brief walks on Wednesday too, and had a full rest and recuperation day, even that too wasn’t easy hahaha.

On Thursday, I was strong enough to go to court and see into a client in custody, my health fully restored by Friday, I did a bail application and that was granted this Monday 17th. I am so happy I embraced alternative and holistic treatment to the best of my capacity and could get back on my feet sooner than later. Be you inspired and motivated therefore, to embrace alternative treatments in your recovery. Am not sure I would have recovered pretty well and fast had I accepted to be admitted, or just stayed in bed all the while…

Have a great weekend everyone…

1st Globuntu Online Summit: I’ll be telling my story from breakdown 2 breakthrough


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looking at all 10 storytellers, do I look like the typical  ‘Angry black woman’? hahaha

Hello world,

Another is week is here and we are starting a new month for real. Wow, the 9th month in this 2018 which just started like yesterday? And yet, I have so much to tell about this year, one which my spirit revealed to me was my year of Grace. Ah, it’s been Amazing Grace how sweet the sound…all along. Thank God really that I blog so much and have all my records as I progress – cause sometimes it could feel surreal what has happened or is planned by faith you know…

One of these plans, is to join a panel of 10 amazing storytellers to share my story of what I did when “Shit happened”, and I was near checking out altogether from this life.

Storyteller Marie Abanga

You could watch the Ted X by the amazing founder and host Ms Beatrice Achaleke – my boss lol, where she talked about what she did when “shit happened” in her own life. Needless to say Beatrice is my heroine, have worked with her from my most tender age and we are related by much more than blood. Here is the introductory post I did of her several years ago hahaha.

 

Now therefore, anyone who believes like Iyanla Vanzart once asserted that:

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.”

Will rush to book one of the few remaining early bird tickets before they are all picked up…click right here and sign-up cause am so excited to get to tell my story on this beautiful platform offered by the Globuntu Academy for Happy Minds. I will forever be grateful to and for Beatrice.

While at it, maybe you would love to check out the Facebook event page or look out for the Globuntu Academy for Happy Minds?

My Self Care Journey: P2 of some seven self care habits of mine


Hello World, last Friday I started sharing seven of my top self care habits harnessed over the years, and I promised to post P2 today. Here we go without much …

4) Writing and Blogging like merry marie lol

In September 2012 I got the writing bug for my first memoir. I couldn’t sleep at night and seriously wrote each day from 12 am to 2 am – God knows how my brain didn’t explode. I was now at mum’s waiting to go to Belgium in January 2013, I was on a serious fast which got mum seriously concerned I could be going anorexic again, I was also working out 45mins/1hr each day except Sunday. Lord, the writing was needed to calm me down some. It felt real good. I am so happy for that because today I have 5 books which I self-published in the past 5 years wow. In November of 2013, Blogging joined the mix by some curiosity, and that has been another big outlet for me to write down whatever and then process same whenever need arises. This has also led me above all, to network and read about people whose journeys are hmm… I have a great support system from the blogosphere, I became more aware of myself and my journey and its impact on me and mine, I even got more inspiration and motivation from all the writing. One super way writing and blogging help me take care of me is that, when am struggling or just feeling anyhow, I start to write and somehow start healing. It’s been simply amazing all that has happened since I started writing (with regards to my books, since I have kept journals from childhood) and blogging. I even rebaptized myself “merry marie” and have strived to live up to that one day at a time hahaha. I just make sure to find a balance and not let my gadgets or social media take me hostage lol

5) Finding Self-Love and My Me Moments

Some of those pictures up there show me in My Me Moments swags and jives. I mean, what should I write again about those moments? Once I found the truest and best love right where I had failed to look all along – inside; once I realized my best friend and I could give each other as many treats as we wanted or needed; ah it’s been a great source of self care, rest, recuperation, re-bonding and re-bouncing…I am so comfy just being with me even in the company of others…call that what you wish, self -love is my own appelation.

6) Going & Living Spiritual all the way

This was a gradual process, I mean not going religious but spiritual. I have come to embrace intermitent fasts, mediation, retreats, and courted some like Patience & Humility with love. So, when my inner voice told me last February it was time for a long spiritual journey of 70 days; fasting from 7 big stuffs including blogging and eating, hmm I knew this was it. Spirituality and I are now good for life. Try it whoever is inspired, ah the serenity even in the midst of the most nasty adversity and all – I ain’t trading this for nothing. The lessons I learned, all I gave up, conquered and the new me who emerged in spirit, soul and body – God am Grateful beyond words. This was definitely the next best investment in my self care.

7) Staying ever mindful of new habits and weary of all toxic stuffs

If you have been reading right from P1, you can see I have come a long way. My poem titled Hopeless to Hopeful tells it all in 2 stanzas. All I have learned and am now implementing, both personally and in my psychotherapy practice, have made me very mindful. I sleep as much as I can at night (often 9 pm – 4 am, turning all those gadgets off), I have my serene and safe space (my loo no shame lol), I don’t sweat the small stuffs especially at home with my 3 muskeets, I know my temperature and feel it, literally learned to walk confidently and speak in a proper way and tone. Today, I take my time to reply to any ‘perceived attack sms/emails’ (once took 7 days and another time 30 days, and others I ignore outright); inshort I don’t go near anything toxic consciously. I have bashed my ego and ditched perfection, I am not fazed by food or fashion…I could go on and on…

In conclusion, if after reading about my 7 self care habits someone is not inspired or motivated, then I may not be doing a great job living my purpose. There is one stand alone self care vital habit I will blog on… you guess right if you call it Support System. Until then… hope you find some inspiration and motivation in my self care journey.

 

Ain’t Got No Time To Hate


Dear ex, know it for good

Ain’t got no time to hate

You can blackmail forever

I wouldn’t live on forever

Ain’t wasting time to hate

The buttons you so pushed

When you carelessly rode

My lift up, down and round

Finally did the unthinkable

The lift broke down for real

And yet, life has to go on

Ain’t got no time to hate

Me got my lift rebuilt

Learned to service it good

No more careless riders allowed

Ain’t got no time to hate

You can disown dem all you want

You ain’t God and will never be

Me got so much I gotta do

For myself and a distance too

Do whate’r you wish with you

Pray and work harder is what I do

Ain’t got no time to hate

(C) 2018 Marie Abanga

p.s: Wow, and I mean wow…it’s been a long long while I wrote a poem, this should be the first I am writing for publishing in 2018. I mean I have moved from a searching soul to a serene soul and was getting ready to publish my serene soul collection by December, and although this poem is seemingly serene, the circumstances surrounding its composing were a bit disturbing. In a nut shell, x threatened by sms to disown sons because they refused to go with his ‘erratic plans’ this summer. He seems to have stood by his word and followed up saying he ain’t chipping a dime for their back to school. Well, thanks for the pain and inspiration – am not wasting any energy fighting – got my boys already with me and he ain’t God. So, to all in my shoes or anything similar, don’t give in to hate, that’ll eat you up…bring yourself to grieve and then steam it off…don’t give them the luxury of thinking they got you psychologically and emotionally again – Amen

pps: 27/08/18 Update deserved because this is a testimony that love conquers all.  The above saga played out in July and it took me 3 weeks to deal and heal and write that poem for closure. I refused to fight back in human ways, my support system was active, and I let it go. And just on this day when this scheduled poem was published, I receive what I cal a “peace truce phone call”. The balance of the kids fees and needs for the year has been paid. I looked up to the Heavens and said a silent prayer of gratitude. Ain’t got no time to hate and bear any grudges indeed. Sometimes the best fighting is done on your knees and with tears…all is well that ends well

My Self Care journey: Sharing Seven Self Care (SC) habits of mine P1


Hello world, another Friday is here and I want to continue looking at self care being the best care. Some say I am a “multiple person’ and am ok with that. I recall my 39th birthday blog where I appealed for more empathy towards people like myself who were high functioning from every indication, but who also had their struggles. I live with RA and PTSD and so self care for me is a matter of survival.

So today, I decided to start sharing seven of my best self care habits harnessed during the years, hoping they serve some powerful communication + inspiration and motivation. It was in December 2009 that I was first told to seriously start to take care of myself. I was at an all time low and my last son was barely 5 months old. That year was a very troubled one for me, having attempted suicide some 9/10 months earlier. The good side of all that low was my readiness to try another way now… This way I came to realize involved ME taking care of ME and I mean very Good Care. This has come to justify Self Care as being the Best Care to me lol. This said, let’s see how we cover this P1:

1) Working out has resumed and has become VIP for me

I weighed 115kgs by then, had not worked out for like 15 years or more, ate like a ‘hoax’, hoping it will choke my ex husband up…do you visualize me at this point? And so on the 1st of January 2010, while the world slept after St Silvester’s shenanigans, while ex husband was yet to return from his jives, I stepped out at 3.30 am for my 1st walk. I had also decided to start a 30 days fast (had never done one before)…, and all my pain/hurt/and oh so so much, were in those first fearless steps. This the origin of my love affair with determination + discipline and determination (my 3Ds) …8 years later, swagging between 70-77kgs, I have overcome so much and can now do so much. Working out is simply non negotiable for me now… I have still been through a few days in a stretch where I can’t work out due to a health flare up (whichever it is P for physical or M for mental; doesn’t really matter to/for me), but then I always know it shall pass, I keep at the self care and I go right back to working out once the spirit is back …

2) My health + holistic wellbeing has become my priority

The same friend who encouraged me to work out, was amazed at all the medications I was on. I was taking at least 3 different meds for the RA and sleep issues+anxiety, although over all no improvement was being recorded. I look back today and think the over eating could have also been due to the side effects of those meds. Anyways, I heeded to his advice and started weaning myself off the meds with ‘vengeance’. I started searching for alternative remedies for my symptoms and after two years of meds, I was ready to try even cayenne pepper if it got to that lol. Eating healthy became an obsession. I have carried a lunch bag almost religiously since then. It was tough working on the sleep especially while still in a very toxic marriage, I just had to sleep during the day either in the office or at an aunt’s home nearby. I chose the latter often because I could then bathe thereafter and feel fresh to be more productive in the afternoon. That way, if I barely slept at night and got up at 2.30 am as was the habit then, I could go for my 3 am walk with no qualms. Running into thieves twice didn’t scare me off, that is how bent I was on taking care of myself. Eventually off all the meds, I only take any when in a crisis or when I feel one is coming… My wellbeing has become so priority, I can’t even tolerate ‘fake relationships’ from any point of view…

3) I reached out for professional help

The next and biggest self care habit I embraced was in knowing when to reach out for professional help, and then doing just that. You can only take good care of yourself so much. There comes that point when you need ‘professional help’. I had succeeded in salvaging myself from that ‘sham and shame’of a marriage, and was finally in a place where I could start a healing journey. I was meeting Angels on my path and my Gentleman encouraged me to seek ‘professional help’ for all what I told him about me. No more energy to strive on without help, I first hired a life coach. I call that the best investment I ever made for ME. My Hero Jeff Moore, oh God bless him forever, helped me so so much. Next, I booked appointments with a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. That was so much self care, self love, self acceptance and all things self… And come to think of all this Amazing work and Grace by which I have become a life coach and psychotherapist too? Come on somebody and say ‘self care is the best care’…

Let’s take a break here today, I will blog on the last 4 self care habits next Friday ( it was a bit intense recalling some stuffs in here – but no tears came and I actually felt some pride at how far I have come)

p.s as I write this post (22.08.18) I have had a mini flare up which started on Saturday. I have been all wrapped up in the office today as seen in the picture above, and it is 3 pm here now. I however feel so much better and am taking care of myself the best I can (some back to school preparation stress and anxiety too but I facing that head on by Grace)