Tag Archives: inspiration

How I embrace alternative treatment?


Last week I was down with malaria which starting attacking my system on Monday 10th and ran up to Thursday 14th.

On Monday I tried to ignore it and worked out vigorously but that didn’t do it. I wrapped myself all up and did sleep straight that night but the next day Tuesday I felt nah you got to go see a doctor and get a prescription. You can see the pictures of the medicines prescribed above, but I knew I couldn’t rely only on those medicines.

I added some natural herbs cooked and covered myself in there so I sweat some crap out for 5-9 minutes, you can see me sweating really good after each of those wrap ups lol, and I did that for three days /twice a day. That also helped me sleep much better and I felt better too.

Eating is hard when am sick, but I knew I had to pamper myself and get some much needed nutrients from some food anyway. So I got me some river joy and cerelac (normally for kids and babies but so what), added bananas, avocado, soft bread and much much tea. I tried brief walks on Wednesday too, and had a full rest and recuperation day, even that too wasn’t easy hahaha.

On Thursday, I was strong enough to go to court and see into a client in custody, my health fully restored by Friday, I did a bail application and that was granted this Monday 17th. I am so happy I embraced alternative and holistic treatment to the best of my capacity and could get back on my feet sooner than later. Be you inspired and motivated therefore, to embrace alternative treatments in your recovery. Am not sure I would have recovered pretty well and fast had I accepted to be admitted, or just stayed in bed all the while…

Have a great weekend everyone…

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1st Globuntu Online Summit: I’ll be telling my story from breakdown 2 breakthrough


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looking at all 10 storytellers, do I look like the typical  ‘Angry black woman’? hahaha

Hello world,

Another is week is here and we are starting a new month for real. Wow, the 9th month in this 2018 which just started like yesterday? And yet, I have so much to tell about this year, one which my spirit revealed to me was my year of Grace. Ah, it’s been Amazing Grace how sweet the sound…all along. Thank God really that I blog so much and have all my records as I progress – cause sometimes it could feel surreal what has happened or is planned by faith you know…

One of these plans, is to join a panel of 10 amazing storytellers to share my story of what I did when “Shit happened”, and I was near checking out altogether from this life.

Storyteller Marie Abanga

You could watch the Ted X by the amazing founder and host Ms Beatrice Achaleke – my boss lol, where she talked about what she did when “shit happened” in her own life. Needless to say Beatrice is my heroine, have worked with her from my most tender age and we are related by much more than blood. Here is the introductory post I did of her several years ago hahaha.

 

Now therefore, anyone who believes like Iyanla Vanzart once asserted that:

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.”

Will rush to book one of the few remaining early bird tickets before they are all picked up…click right here and sign-up cause am so excited to get to tell my story on this beautiful platform offered by the Globuntu Academy for Happy Minds. I will forever be grateful to and for Beatrice.

While at it, maybe you would love to check out the Facebook event page or look out for the Globuntu Academy for Happy Minds?

My Self Care Journey: P2 of some seven self care habits of mine


Hello World, last Friday I started sharing seven of my top self care habits harnessed over the years, and I promised to post P2 today. Here we go without much …

4) Writing and Blogging like merry marie lol

In September 2012 I got the writing bug for my first memoir. I couldn’t sleep at night and seriously wrote each day from 12 am to 2 am – God knows how my brain didn’t explode. I was now at mum’s waiting to go to Belgium in January 2013, I was on a serious fast which got mum seriously concerned I could be going anorexic again, I was also working out 45mins/1hr each day except Sunday. Lord, the writing was needed to calm me down some. It felt real good. I am so happy for that because today I have 5 books which I self-published in the past 5 years wow. In November of 2013, Blogging joined the mix by some curiosity, and that has been another big outlet for me to write down whatever and then process same whenever need arises. This has also led me above all, to network and read about people whose journeys are hmm… I have a great support system from the blogosphere, I became more aware of myself and my journey and its impact on me and mine, I even got more inspiration and motivation from all the writing. One super way writing and blogging help me take care of me is that, when am struggling or just feeling anyhow, I start to write and somehow start healing. It’s been simply amazing all that has happened since I started writing (with regards to my books, since I have kept journals from childhood) and blogging. I even rebaptized myself “merry marie” and have strived to live up to that one day at a time hahaha. I just make sure to find a balance and not let my gadgets or social media take me hostage lol

5) Finding Self-Love and My Me Moments

Some of those pictures up there show me in My Me Moments swags and jives. I mean, what should I write again about those moments? Once I found the truest and best love right where I had failed to look all along – inside; once I realized my best friend and I could give each other as many treats as we wanted or needed; ah it’s been a great source of self care, rest, recuperation, re-bonding and re-bouncing…I am so comfy just being with me even in the company of others…call that what you wish, self -love is my own appelation.

6) Going & Living Spiritual all the way

This was a gradual process, I mean not going religious but spiritual. I have come to embrace intermitent fasts, mediation, retreats, and courted some like Patience & Humility with love. So, when my inner voice told me last February it was time for a long spiritual journey of 70 days; fasting from 7 big stuffs including blogging and eating, hmm I knew this was it. Spirituality and I are now good for life. Try it whoever is inspired, ah the serenity even in the midst of the most nasty adversity and all – I ain’t trading this for nothing. The lessons I learned, all I gave up, conquered and the new me who emerged in spirit, soul and body – God am Grateful beyond words. This was definitely the next best investment in my self care.

7) Staying ever mindful of new habits and weary of all toxic stuffs

If you have been reading right from P1, you can see I have come a long way. My poem titled Hopeless to Hopeful tells it all in 2 stanzas. All I have learned and am now implementing, both personally and in my psychotherapy practice, have made me very mindful. I sleep as much as I can at night (often 9 pm – 4 am, turning all those gadgets off), I have my serene and safe space (my loo no shame lol), I don’t sweat the small stuffs especially at home with my 3 muskeets, I know my temperature and feel it, literally learned to walk confidently and speak in a proper way and tone. Today, I take my time to reply to any ‘perceived attack sms/emails’ (once took 7 days and another time 30 days, and others I ignore outright); inshort I don’t go near anything toxic consciously. I have bashed my ego and ditched perfection, I am not fazed by food or fashion…I could go on and on…

In conclusion, if after reading about my 7 self care habits someone is not inspired or motivated, then I may not be doing a great job living my purpose. There is one stand alone self care vital habit I will blog on… you guess right if you call it Support System. Until then… hope you find some inspiration and motivation in my self care journey.

 

Ain’t Got No Time To Hate


Dear ex, know it for good

Ain’t got no time to hate

You can blackmail forever

I wouldn’t live on forever

Ain’t wasting time to hate

The buttons you so pushed

When you carelessly rode

My lift up, down and round

Finally did the unthinkable

The lift broke down for real

And yet, life has to go on

Ain’t got no time to hate

Me got my lift rebuilt

Learned to service it good

No more careless riders allowed

Ain’t got no time to hate

You can disown dem all you want

You ain’t God and will never be

Me got so much I gotta do

For myself and a distance too

Do whate’r you wish with you

Pray and work harder is what I do

Ain’t got no time to hate

(C) 2018 Marie Abanga

p.s: Wow, and I mean wow…it’s been a long long while I wrote a poem, this should be the first I am writing for publishing in 2018. I mean I have moved from a searching soul to a serene soul and was getting ready to publish my serene soul collection by December, and although this poem is seemingly serene, the circumstances surrounding its composing were a bit disturbing. In a nut shell, x threatened by sms to disown sons because they refused to go with his ‘erratic plans’ this summer. He seems to have stood by his word and followed up saying he ain’t chipping a dime for their back to school. Well, thanks for the pain and inspiration – am not wasting any energy fighting – got my boys already with me and he ain’t God. So, to all in my shoes or anything similar, don’t give in to hate, that’ll eat you up…bring yourself to grieve and then steam it off…don’t give them the luxury of thinking they got you psychologically and emotionally again – Amen

pps: 27/08/18 Update deserved because this is a testimony that love conquers all.  The above saga played out in July and it took me 3 weeks to deal and heal and write that poem for closure. I refused to fight back in human ways, my support system was active, and I let it go. And just on this day when this scheduled poem was published, I receive what I cal a “peace truce phone call”. The balance of the kids fees and needs for the year has been paid. I looked up to the Heavens and said a silent prayer of gratitude. Ain’t got no time to hate and bear any grudges indeed. Sometimes the best fighting is done on your knees and with tears…all is well that ends well

My Self Care journey: Sharing Seven Self Care (SC) habits of mine P1


Hello world, another Friday is here and I want to continue looking at self care being the best care. Some say I am a “multiple person’ and am ok with that. I recall my 39th birthday blog where I appealed for more empathy towards people like myself who were high functioning from every indication, but who also had their struggles. I live with RA and PTSD and so self care for me is a matter of survival.

So today, I decided to start sharing seven of my best self care habits harnessed during the years, hoping they serve some powerful communication + inspiration and motivation. It was in December 2009 that I was first told to seriously start to take care of myself. I was at an all time low and my last son was barely 5 months old. That year was a very troubled one for me, having attempted suicide some 9/10 months earlier. The good side of all that low was my readiness to try another way now… This way I came to realize involved ME taking care of ME and I mean very Good Care. This has come to justify Self Care as being the Best Care to me lol. This said, let’s see how we cover this P1:

1) Working out has resumed and has become VIP for me

I weighed 115kgs by then, had not worked out for like 15 years or more, ate like a ‘hoax’, hoping it will choke my ex husband up…do you visualize me at this point? And so on the 1st of January 2010, while the world slept after St Silvester’s shenanigans, while ex husband was yet to return from his jives, I stepped out at 3.30 am for my 1st walk. I had also decided to start a 30 days fast (had never done one before)…, and all my pain/hurt/and oh so so much, were in those first fearless steps. This the origin of my love affair with determination + discipline and determination (my 3Ds) …8 years later, swagging between 70-77kgs, I have overcome so much and can now do so much. Working out is simply non negotiable for me now… I have still been through a few days in a stretch where I can’t work out due to a health flare up (whichever it is P for physical or M for mental; doesn’t really matter to/for me), but then I always know it shall pass, I keep at the self care and I go right back to working out once the spirit is back …

2) My health + holistic wellbeing has become my priority

The same friend who encouraged me to work out, was amazed at all the medications I was on. I was taking at least 3 different meds for the RA and sleep issues+anxiety, although over all no improvement was being recorded. I look back today and think the over eating could have also been due to the side effects of those meds. Anyways, I heeded to his advice and started weaning myself off the meds with ‘vengeance’. I started searching for alternative remedies for my symptoms and after two years of meds, I was ready to try even cayenne pepper if it got to that lol. Eating healthy became an obsession. I have carried a lunch bag almost religiously since then. It was tough working on the sleep especially while still in a very toxic marriage, I just had to sleep during the day either in the office or at an aunt’s home nearby. I chose the latter often because I could then bathe thereafter and feel fresh to be more productive in the afternoon. That way, if I barely slept at night and got up at 2.30 am as was the habit then, I could go for my 3 am walk with no qualms. Running into thieves twice didn’t scare me off, that is how bent I was on taking care of myself. Eventually off all the meds, I only take any when in a crisis or when I feel one is coming… My wellbeing has become so priority, I can’t even tolerate ‘fake relationships’ from any point of view…

3) I reached out for professional help

The next and biggest self care habit I embraced was in knowing when to reach out for professional help, and then doing just that. You can only take good care of yourself so much. There comes that point when you need ‘professional help’. I had succeeded in salvaging myself from that ‘sham and shame’of a marriage, and was finally in a place where I could start a healing journey. I was meeting Angels on my path and my Gentleman encouraged me to seek ‘professional help’ for all what I told him about me. No more energy to strive on without help, I first hired a life coach. I call that the best investment I ever made for ME. My Hero Jeff Moore, oh God bless him forever, helped me so so much. Next, I booked appointments with a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. That was so much self care, self love, self acceptance and all things self… And come to think of all this Amazing work and Grace by which I have become a life coach and psychotherapist too? Come on somebody and say ‘self care is the best care’…

Let’s take a break here today, I will blog on the last 4 self care habits next Friday ( it was a bit intense recalling some stuffs in here – but no tears came and I actually felt some pride at how far I have come)

p.s as I write this post (22.08.18) I have had a mini flare up which started on Saturday. I have been all wrapped up in the office today as seen in the picture above, and it is 3 pm here now. I however feel so much better and am taking care of myself the best I can (some back to school preparation stress and anxiety too but I facing that head on by Grace)

What, and why, is self care the best care?


Hello World, both on a personal scale and as a psychotherapist, self care is a very important precept to me. I therefore decided to wrap up this week with a post on self care, which I tell my clients is the best care. Many times they ask me in return, what really is self care and why is it the best care? We all know how taking care even of our basic necessities when we are mentally challenged can be difficult right? But here is the great thing, self care is not only about doing it alone, but also about knowing when to ask for help because right then that is the best way you can show yourself you care for you!!!

So, while on the web searching, I came across some sites having an article or the other on self care. The LawofAttraction.com defined self-care as copied below and indented, and I find that definition apt. I wouldn’t be adding to it and bore you out, thus here we go:

Self-care is a broad term that encompasses just about anything you to do be good to yourself. In a nutshell, it’s about being as kind to yourself as you would be to others. It’s partly about knowing when your resources are running low, and stepping back to replenish them rather than letting them all drain away.

Meanwhile, it also involves integrating self-compassion into your life in a way that helps to prevent even the possibility of a burnout.

However, it’s important to note that not everything that feels good is self-care. We can all be tempted to use unhealthy coping mechanisms like drugs, alcohol, over-eating, and risk-taking. These self-destructive activities help us to regulate challenging emotions, but the relief is temporary. The difference between unhealthy coping mechanisms and self-care activities is that the latter is uncontroversially good for you. When practiced correctly, self-care has long-term benefit for the mind, the body, or both.

That addressed, why do I uphold self care to be the best care?

No one knows you better than you. No one can take care of you better than you. No one can make you valued, happy, sad, and all other feeling and emotions in between better than you. This is so so true for me, I mean I know myself inside out and I am true to myself.

I am therefore in charge of my own care – and so should/can you!!!

I have gradually developed several self care habits which truly make me happy and serene. When I am overwhelmed or need help, I keep my therapist hat aside, and reach out to my support circle. It is very important to have one, and to nurture your circle with your own presence, that way, when you reach out you will be helped and not shunned. We each have something magical to share, that smile or email or drawing, or a few poetic lines which makes someone’s day.

When we are in charge of our own self care, we can tell what works and what doesn’t, we can let go and laugh or cry without tearing ourselves down, we remain alive to ourselves and not zombie out under the influence of drugs – be they prescribed or illicit. The deal for me is identifying earlier than later what works for you, who can help you best when you are not so in tune with your self care plan ( yup good to have a self care plan), and what is the worst case scenario…

More to follow in a part two hahaha

Have a great weekend us all

Healing is not an illusion but a possibility: My brother lives in me


 

Four years on, day for day since I got the call which shook me like no news had shaken me before.

My brother…whose brother? like I would say before starting a fight in your defense whether you were wrong or right.

I am so grateful for where I am in my healing journey and I know you are smiling at your ‘mama Ayo’ from deep within the clouds of our lives.

I can never say thank you enough Lord for letting me have my brother for 33 years, to love and learn from, and to share with in all ways I could. He is forever in my spirit anyway, so the death of the flesh could only hurt me this much now I conclude.

Healing is not an illusion dear all, it is a possibility if you get to looking beyond what you see; if you get to feeling beyond what you touch; if you get to listening beyond what you hear.

p.s: I will forever miss you Gaby, but I will forever feel you as you live on in my spirit – and in our hearts

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Be inspired and motivated dear gentle readers and followers

 

Have you ever asked yourself what could be good about this life?


Hello world,

Last Wednesday I didn’t publish a post because I was already working on my psychology lol. I am officially an Author at the awesome blog SIWO aka Success Inspirers’ World! I mean they have such a noble vision and massive outreach of over 10.000 subscribers not to talk of readers. You may really want to check them out and why not shot them an email if you want to join their over 100 authors.

You see, for me, it’s all about sharing the good I have come to conclude there is in this life. My first blog there is the resume of my crisscross life and an answer to the above question lol

I plan to be a Wednesday author over at SIWO, and hope many of you follow me to and from there hahaha.

Have a fab midweek everyone…

What could I have as personal feelback from the Leading Lady Conference???


The Leading Lady conference had as theme, Intentional Leadership. Leadership I know includes leading yourself (most vip) and leading others – be this at home, at your workplace, business place – church etc

I love learning even more than I enjoy sharing – and of course these come with or involve networking right? Can you do or partake in these activities without others?

I really appreciated the package they put together and the organizers themselves were so warm. I mean I got a call from the co-founder of the mother organization like 2 days later to thank me for coming and spreading the word like via my blog and other social media outlets. Never happened before.

Now, I am a very spiritual person, and anything spiritual catches my attention. Prayers for me are powerful, whether you admit it or not, it is different when you start an event with prayers (even a silent one or a hymn), than when you do not. I am talking about events like these, which are looking at the person and their spirit, and not one on politics, policies or outright glamour.

You have to be spiritual to live and lead intentionally. Well that’s how it works for me. I was so happy to attend a conference which put together and brought out all of this.

So for day one, we had some soul praise and worship – I mean live one and even a trumpet maestro. There was a warm welcome and a first presentation by the co-founder of the mother organization which I enjoyed. The 1st teaching session was on the power and importance of purpose by the one and only Frankie Powell – that man is spiritually fired up, the 2nd on handling life’s detours and the third on intentional living.

The breakout sessions were equally wonderful, sad I couldn’t be in all because they happened at the same time lol. I attended one just to hear that speaker life at last, and another one to learn from a young, dynamic and diverse business woman.

A big take home was the book I bought at the conference. I read it in one go on my return trip and hardly saw time pass (like we can right?). I have already written a brief review on facebook as follows:

Book Review: From the Past into a life of Purpose: A Tale of Four Women edited by Dr Madison Ngafeeson
Review Title: A Tale worth Telling
I was probably the first participant who paid for this book even while it was being launched. I already knew I was going to love every word in there and I was happy to have a book to read on my return trip to Douala the next morning. It was worth the 3000frs I paid and it made the trip pass in no time. Indeed I finished it as we got to Yassa. Are we concluding it was a captivating read?
I am an author, and not any simple type but one who writes more of memoirs than fiction or poetry. I know how tough a feat that is especially in a culture which still ‘values’ the adage ‘no talk bring man disgrace’!!! In this book made up of four tales worth telling, the authors ‘talk’ and I feel them. No shame I mean what is there to be ashamed of?
Let he/she who has never struggled in their lives be it with a relationship/several for some of us, be it with career paths, be it with socio-cultural norms and traditions which can leave you ‘finished’ before your own time, ah be it with just about any precept of life, let that someone pick the first stone.
I love the authenticity in memoirs, it takes work and nerves – no holding back or looking for characters to ‘dash’ them your tale – telling it as it is, as it happened and as we now look forward to.
That indeed is the whole essence of this particular commendable book. The past was painful in each narration, but life goes on and intentionally. All the stories have beautiful continuations because I can’t talk of endings…
I sincerely recommend this book all and sundry.

Sad for now the books are only sold in Cameroon and no online copies yet.

I equally sadly left before the closing ceremony because hmm, thanks to the infamous BMT aka Blackman Time, the conference ran late on both days. I didn’t therefore collect my beautiful certificate personally, but a friend did on my behalf and I got same from her 2 weeks later.

I gave them a 7/10 and was of the opinion when surveyed, that they organize one every year. It was indeed a wonderful investment in my personal growth and self love, and I got to be hosted in one home I so love and have the utmost fond memories of.

Wishing us all a wonderful weekend, full of some self care and all

Do you know thyself? Are you true to thyself?


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So glad to be in my current serene space inside out

Hello all, am back to bloggerville after a ‘supposedly two weeks of…staycation’ – vacation didn’t finally work out but I did relax some and really got to study me some more. My first post after two weeks could only be centered around what I learned about myself, and really wish to share same in order to inspire and motivate others in their own quest  to learning more about themselves and living their truth…

We have probably heard this phrase thrown at us once in a while right? Some sage or elder advice to be true to thy own self. Now I used to think, that just meant running my mouth all over the place saying what I wanted, thought, and looked forward to about all and sundry, and doing pretty much the same… ah some stuffs stubborn teenage years can get one think and do?

I have finally come to know who I am and what my purpose is, I have grown spiritually no doubt, but I didn’t have the full picture of me until recently like 7/8 days ago – although I had sometime ago come up with my own self-definition. And guess where that all sunk in – in the Loo of all places – inshort the Loo has been crowned my ‘spiritual haven’ – and no, mine doesn’t smell because there are scented candles in there and co to make and keep it cozy.

So, because I needed to know all what I was made up off like what I really like, need and expect of myself so as to truly live my purpose and truth, I sought this by doing great introspection and paying attention to what people said and didn’t say in our interactions, how they behaved, how I also behaved and how I related to/in my whole realm.

The following are some 5 facts I can package about myself and be true to:

  1. I am called Marie Angele Abanga and this name I am transforming into a brand one step at a time;
  2. I am a simple spirit, not impressed nor depressed by latest trends, tastes, gossips and all things toxic…I can call those out, and work on my attitude towards that in all truth…;
  3. I am a free spirit and an extrovert and I am finding more of a balance than not to my personality vis à vis any situation and or person and relationship I come across. I hold myself responsible and accountable for my thoughts, intentions and actions and I owe myself the utmost love, honesty and respect;
  4. I am a very passionate, highly talented and equally emotional lady and I am ok with the fact that these could sometimes set me a little off balance…I love the lady I see and talk with everyday in the mirror and prefer to let her live her truth in these states whether any interactions as a result or consequence is mutual or not;
  5. I have come to devise, embrace and effectively test my coping and healing techniques, and I am honoured and humbled to use same in my psychotherapy practice…a large part of being true to one’s self involves being able to deal and heal or heal and deal or else we are not being true to ourselves…my ego can as well get lost in the process with no regrets…what I know equally is that self care is the best care!!!

And I was thus very happy to spend two days and two nights in the atlantic city of Limbe with my Darling Donna – she is a sister soul and a kindred spirit; and I really wish us all a Donna in our lives…

And now over to you my dear gentle followers and readers, do you think it is worth knowing and being true to one’s self?

Have you discovered something about yourself you may want to inspire someone or us all with?

p.s: it feels so good to be back although I feel am getting blog matured a lot as the years go by hahaha. Thinking  some style and stuffs will be reviewed in the coming weeks or months – but looking forward to with excited anticipation and not dreaded apprehension…