Tag Archives: inspiration

Learning to give David some time to cool down too…


 

That is David doing his things. He loves more of solitary play and drawing, than getting mixed up in brawls due to games with others, or mix ups at home. But precisely, the later can’t be avoided, na not among boys right?

So, yesterday morning there was an issue over chocolate paste and how Gaby took too much. David brought that to my attention while Gaby had stepped out do something. Now, Gaby overheard David tell and quickly told him to mind his own business. His words in french were: ‘Jaloux’ (jealous). Of course David wasn’t pleased and before I realized it they were manning up to each other and flinging more words around.

Gaby knows David’s soft spots and plays with those, going as far as calling him ‘bébé au lait’ (literally meaning milk baby – like weakling or so). I had to step in their middle to avert a fight.

I managed to get David to sit down and take off his school bag, then I rubbed him on his back several times. His heart was beating real fast. After a few minutes, I tried to get him to talk but he wouldn’t. We were all running late and so I desperately asked him if he needed more time to process his emotions. He said yes. He at least identified the emotion of Anger from the chart of emotions we have on the wall, and he told me he felt like punching Gaby even if he loved him very much.

I had to let him be because I realized he wasn’t ready to say any more. He was neither ready to talk with Gaby, not to mention make the customary peace of hugging each other while saying it’s going to be ok, and I still love you. Did I mention the last incident between those two which however gladly ended in a tripartite peace making was on Sunday?

Anyway, I learnt from the incident that, just like I sometimes want time off to process my emotions before moving on, so too do kids. I could in a position of authority threaten him into talking or force the peace making, but was that going to be real? Given that I don’t like fake relationships and actions or reactions, I will not expect that of any other including – even especially my children. I hope by the time he comes back from school he has forgotten about the whole incident. I asked Alain who is in the same secondary school with him, to check on him at break time out of sibling love.

My own sibling story is even tougher mindless the sex and age hahaha

Dear gentle readers, in life in whichever relationship, we have to respect the other and not seek to force them to keep to our pace, relate only in a certain way, or be the one we think is best for them. I share this events in my life, to inspire and motivate with my own reality. It all about seeking a holistic wellbeing and giving your children a balanced and good foundation

p.s: 8 pm 20.02.18 I get back home and the two fight out of the door to be the first to greet me are… yes you guess right: David et Gaby (I actually often confuse their names or pronounce in such a one the one comes when I meant the other). David tells me the anger was gone by short break and he felt fine. He choose peace over conflict and forgave Gaby

Have a great midweek all

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Tough times never last but tough people do: Which do you focus on???


Hi world, another week is here and let’s hope to be tougher than whatever tough comes our way this week.

When I got back home from work last Saturday evening, not only was there no electricity, but I was told cooking gas was finished. Here, we use refill cylinders and you buy them every other month or whenever, not pay monthly bills like I noticed out there.

Grateful to neighbour for lending me her sawdust pan

And to Gaby my able assistant for a while lol

I was able to make breakfast of Dodo, eggs and pap for us all, and then moved on to cook some deli yams pepper soup with pork chops so yummy…who cares about the tough time getting to this?

And so dear all, be inspired and motivated when those tough times come in whatever shape, colour, name, face etc

We all have it in us; even if some of us need more empowering help to unearth that toughness,  maybe buried deep within by various situations, relationships …

Hurray, its time for some celebration: I got a distinction grade, and my son an international award


Loving me my book shelf

The good tidings started this week with the installation of my own special bookshelf in my bedroom. Look, no hiding I love books, read and write all the time;  and yet I of all had no bookshelf ha!!!

When my Guardian Angel asked me what I needed for a birthday gift (needed not wanted for emphasis), of course a book shelf. It finally got ready and installed by oga carpenter last week. May it’s only here but technicians in general take their time…I mean whatever date they give you, multiply that by 3 and be patient for your own sanity…

Anyway, now to more news calling for a celebration shall we…

1) I am now a CBT Qualified Therapist from the BSY Group in the UK, prided to be UK’s number 1 complementary therapy college. It was a tough six months and I indeed was my own client in all the school assignments. You see, I helped my own self out so much that I got the first Distinction grade ever in my life and in a field I so so love.

DEAR GABRIEL (GONE TOO SOON BUT FOREVER IN MY HEART), DEAR MUM, DEAR DYANE HARWOOD: I DEDICATE THIS TO YOU…TEARS FILL ME UP…

Of course others deserve to be appreciated in this endeavour especially my boys who spent several Saturdays alone because I had to go the office to study and do assignments. And my siblings who each in their own way supported me as usual and share the good news with gusto. My guardian angel came in towards the end but gave me much needed emotional support, you all know how tempting it is to give up towards the end right? And you all my e-family and friends, ever growing, ever real…

2) Alain my son in whom I am so glad, will be receiving a bronze medal from the Duke of Edingburgh’s International Award. The 6 months program is one where interested participants commit to carrying out acts of service and exemplary leadership in their schools, communities and homes of course. This is the world’s leading youth achievement award and so I am so proud of my boy and the Grace to be his mama and groom him so.

I wish I could go dancing lol

Happy weekend us all, be inspired and motivated – it ain’t never too late to go for it

 

They get there at their pace: David got back to a choronko with gusto


Dear all,

Today is another childrens’ post to inspire and motivate us parents and guardians and all in here.

The phone to the left, a smart one right? Well, that is what David recently gave up to go back to using a Choronko (slang for basic Chinese gadget, easy to use and cheap to replace). I had offered that smart fone to him when I finally got the honour to use my late brother’s phone (a midway between smart and choronko) last year, and that phone is of course a relic to me. I survive just fine with it and prefer for the younger ones to go crazy over the latest whoever/whatever.

Last Friday, David finally decided he had enough wasting his time and small money on youtube watching Sangoku. He told me he needed to get a choronko. When I said I couldn’t afford one just yet, he said to open his bank and he was going to retrive what was needed. That choronko cost 7000frs and he was very happy with it.

Alain is far ahead of us all, with the type which recognizes your finger print. He bought that with his last year’s savings and I contributed 2/5 of the price as promised for his excellent results in school. You can guess he is the one teaching us lots of techy stuffs in this house.

Gaby isn’t even ready at 8 years to keep a wrist watch, a pair of flops or another pair of shoes (he wears one until useless and then you get another). If you buy more than one and he sees them, be ready to find only one side some time soon thereafter. But his brothers at his age were already clean-trendy conscious lol. He says he will love a phone or tablet if I can afford when he is 12 years.

My point with this post therefore is that, we don’t have to compare our children, nor put pressure on any of them to keep up with any ‘jonses’. That way, we spare us all mental agony and instead accept and celebrate our diversity.

Happy day to all,

Nkongteh (Thank you)

Introducing Family Meditation: Kindly wish us well; be inspired & motivated too


David definitely doesn’t want conflict so much he already kicked out the c lol

Hello world, happy mid-week.

January 2018, is making its way out and I have successfuly completed a month of meditation using not one but 3 awesome books (PN: a very intense experience, glad two of the books were for a month only…wouldn’t do that again next time). Anyway, wow, girl am proud of you especially given the events of this past month and near 2 weeks of ill health. I mean, if I could persist, then you can imagine how good it was. I took my books even for mami mami’s burial in the village. Indeed, I so benefited from the meditation that I felt to introduce family meditation would be the right thing to do instead of just lecturing the boys on what I was learning. They had already been curious enough .

The above book is one of those I was using, written by Gerald Jampolsky and his lovely wife Diane (talk of me having a crush on anyone with this name 🐩, my ears fall in their aura lol) founders of Attitudinal Healing and Attitudinal Healing International respectively. That book has 18 cards to use each other day, and some other great stuff which I also find kids friendly. David our record man wrote it out on the board so we see that daily and make the choice we want to experience each moment.

We therefore started off today with a powerful poem at the end of the book captioned: “Love is for Everyone”. We took turns reading a stanza, we reflected and shared and promised to try to live that poem today…

Dear all, another soulful journey am embarking my family on, I sincerely wish we make it to a more serene spot and that someone reading this gets inspired or stays motivated.

I kicked of this year of Grace with a big kick which landed me back in bed with an RA Flare, some emotional and mental muggles and etc. But am Alive as WH (RIP) sang and am Grateful for that.

Nkongteh (This means thank you in my dialect)

With a hurt in my heart, I watched him go and hope he learns a bitter lesson about borrowing…


An old shot of the musketeers for fun (LtoR: Alain, Gaby and David)

This week may be kids week on my blogging roll at this rate…

I just have to write this out and get over it while really hoping and praying Gaby learns a bitter lesson about borrowing. I can’t continue bailing him out lest he grows up with that…

The deal is that he is often owing Alain money for different curious reasons. A piece of meat/chicken, an hour with his bike, some candy or biscuit, or his whatever Gaby wants and gives any amount to get.

Yesterday he ended up owing Alain 200frs for whatever I couldn’t really understand. This morning, his school allowance of 200frs was reclaimed by Alain. Gaby wanted to pay in 2 installments, but as they often mimick Koffi Gombo (an ivorian comedian): “No pity in business”. He paid up and came crying to mama about how unfair life is and how inconsiderate Alain is.

I had begged them to stop this lending and borrowing business and David had long stopped, but those two nah they are “Tom and Jerry” to put it simply. Other times, I will be sorry and give him another 100frs, but today I decided to add the cereals in his bowl knowing he wouldn’t get a dime from me for school. He made his bed, mama ain’t lying down with him anymore on that.

He is a popular guy in school with a big heart too. I hope a friend shows him extra love today; but above all that he learns a bitter lesson about borrowing.

Sometimes, some hurt actually helps our growth process from personal experience; what do you think gentle readers and followers?

Sometimes when your kid is acting naughty, empower them; but, watch out any promise you make on the spur


Hello world, happy new week. You sew us glowing in our selfie, hmm it was in celebrating good bargaining and promise kept o.

Our story started at 5am when Gaby came out to me grumbling and wanting to cry because Alain refused he could have breakfast before bathing. I mean, wouldn’t that have been a very unhealthy precedence?

I tried to bully him into going to bathe, nada. I told him to sit down and wait until I finished my workout but the whining continued. I was already wrapping up and it occured to me I could do with a natural back massage.

I thus told Gaby that in return for the massage, we could bathe together, eat together and leave home together. He accepted and after the massage and while I relaxed some, he skipped some with my long rope…no more whinning hurray…guess our photographer? That very Alain hahaha

The deal now came to be the promise I made. Ok, bathing together wasn’t something difficult other than trying to get him to stop playing with the shower hose. As for eating together, nop, Gaby didn’t wait for me because of course I hardly sit down on a Monday of all days, to eat breakfast at home.

Finally, my leaving home together idea was to say our byes up the street where I’ll take a cab to the office. But Gaby thought it meant walking all the way to his school.

Now, walking with Gaby to school is far different from walking with David to school. You don’t walk in silence enjoying the feeling of walking together holding hands, na you kick peebles, wow at birds and their nests and greet all neighbours you recognize. You even stop to greet the mentally ill by the big refuse hip near their school, and then well get to school late when the national anthem is being sung and the gate is closed until after that.

I just got to work and marvel at how I handled the wahala of this morning, spared our minds and hearts some hurts and toxic energy, while making the best of my promise.

I will however think twice before making any promises in the future lol.

Happy Monday us all

Smiling vs Wearing a Smile


 

These pictures are taken on the same day, indeed minutes from each other, but in the one I am smiling and in the other I am wearing a smile. Can anyone tell which is which?

Sometimes in life, we may be conscious we are merely wearing smiles. We so wear them until they become our signature smiles. That smile which gives nothing away, and which is always there 365 days a year.

I used to wear smiles a lot, not naturally one to smile in my teens and only wearing one when prodded. Now in my ‘old em middle age’, I have come to find myself and to love the free and love-full me, smiling is a lot easier. But for the sake of me, I can’t just fake it when not in the mood unless I see that not wearing a smile can lead to more debris than I can clean up. Am I the only who goes through such ‘cycles’?

In conclusion, in the above pictures, I am smiling in the picture on the left (to me that was the last picture I was ready to submit myself too and having decided I had had enough fun, I relaxed fully and it glowed from inside out even if the smile may not have been my broadest). In the picture on the right, taken like shortly after the other when I was cajoled to hang on for a few more pictures, I slumped and said whatever – there you go. I wore smiles thereafter for most shoots until I couldn’t stand it no more and left.

I share this post to inspire and motivate and hope it serves that purpose. Indeed, we have to dare authenticity, know our own selves and to the core; and try as much to smile instead of wearing a smile in life.

Happy midweek everyone

Even if only for Ambe, I wouldn’t stop doing all the advocacy I do


Plain Me
One of the products of the photo shoot: Remember the post behind the scenes?

Hello World,

I am still dabbling with my different grooves; but I could tell from the work out rhythm this morning, they are coming up slowly but surely.
I was therefore very delighted to read the following in my email like 2 days ago:

Dear madam,

I have read your two books, “My Brother’s Journey From Genius To Simpleton” and “My Unconventional Loves.” Equally I just visited your website a few minutes ago, and the Gabriel Bebonbechem Foundation’s website, though I’ve not read much from there yet, but will do so subsequently.

I thought of writing to you because you are indeed an inspiration. When one takes a move to “Make their mess a message” and their “Test a testimony”, it’s an eye opener for others who have faced such similar situations and have withdrawn from the society to stand tall and rather help others with their past experiences. I was moved by the sincere stories in your memoir-book, that I had to give others to read too.

Please continue writing, blogging and speaking too. I believe that just like it did for me, the book will be an inspiration for others too, and a guide book to watch the things they do in life.

And oh, Gabby’s story was so sad, pitiful and… I don’t know how to describe it. The story made me cry, most especially because of the negligence given to epileptics. It was a good initiative creating a memorial foundation to take care of epileptic and mental patients. Please permit me say as a youth, I work with a little initiative called Child Enrichment As Future Leaders with the vision of empowering children, youths and the underprivileged. In our own little way, we can always support the foundation’s efforts and partner in carrying out activities.

A little about me-My name is Che Herbert Ambesi, a Level 300 student in the University of Buea reading Accounting. I love reading inspirational books, novels, plays and Christian literature, and I write a little too. Particularly concerned about the needs of youths and the civil society, I blog about success on cheambe.wordpress.com (Ambe’s Diary), and work with Child Enrichment As Future Leaders (CEAFL), a start up which was initiated by a female friend and class mate of mine two years ago, to see how we can in our own little way contribute to the society (I currently serve as President).

Madam, you are my role model. Keep inspiring!

Happy New Year in arrears,

Ambe

 

P.s: Kindly if you can, visit his blog and show some encouragement. He has like half a dozen posts and few comments too lol. He is full of potential and at this rate he’ll sure be up to all he sets out to do. I have replied and I think he is yet to get to his emails because internet especially in that region is a luxury. Hence am all the more delighted to read his email.

Happy Tuesday everybody

No longer playing pretend


 

 

If at 3 I knew no better than play pretend

By 9 I knew fully well I played pretend

But put 3 and 9 together

At 39 I definitely can’t continue

Playing pretend like I don’t know

It’s now far past my age and circumstance

I mean if I keep playing pretend now

Can you imagine if 93 meets me here

What a rigmarole and sheer ridicule

like I learnt nothing from life all along

Nope I now know better

for my sanity and hollistic wellbeing

I need to stop any play or semblance of

Say it as it is, do it as I say, love it as it comes

learn and love and live full cycle

Playing Pretend was just a game

I can’t turn that into reality

That will mean wearing a smile and towing the line

The unconventional in me cries fowl

Hence am no longer playing pretend