Tag Archives: Keeping Faith

Ekema my hero mindful of his Schizophrenia diagnosis


First day as an intern, ready to go face that world and conquer Amen
Cross section of the psy ward
Ekema was in one of those cells the first time we met on April 02-12-18

Dear world,

I want to celebrate Ekema today. It is equally his 39th Birthday. He lives with us since June after his last discharge from the Psychiatry ward. You see, I was an intern at the Psychiatry ward and on my very first day there I went into the ‘infamous cabano’ and Ekema spoke to my spirit without my knowing then we would still be together 8 months later. And so on his special day, I am sharing what I just wrote to him on Facebook because I want the world to know #itispossible and that #ThereisHope, let’s #BetheHope

Dear Ekema: I want the world to know.
I remember April 02-2018 very well. That was my 1st day there and I was told not to go into the Cabano. I was told only the most crazy are kept there…and yes, when I finally defied and went in there a few hours later, you appealed to me immediately because you spoke English and offered me your journal to read all the projects you had in there for your family and society. The only words I recall hearing and understanding were Buea, Fakoship, Lawyer Makolo…the rest I couldn’t catch because you spoke them through your ‘forest-like’ beard at the speed of lightening. Your gaze seemed piercing and you paced so ferociously in your cell. I didn’t know then I will welcome you into my home, but I knew I wanted to help you out as most as I could. 8 months later, we are still helping each other out. You are a great uncle Ekema to to the boys, and a wonderful small brother to me. I have a wonderful family in that Buea now thanks to you and the world also knows about you. On this special day of yours, as you turn 39, what else can I wish you other than that your journey here on earth keeps getting better and better? You told me last night ma it’s 5th and not 15th, I was so proud of you for that because back in the hospital you had told me you don’t know and you don’t really care because you had never celebrated any. God will help celebrate this one. I appreciate you, you are my hero, you are an inspiration to many. God bless you always dear Albert Ekema Makolo. To God be the Glory great things he has done…
#itispossible
#notostigma
#mentalhealthmatters

A week after moving in with us in June
Picture taken Dec 02-18 . Notice the same shirt and new aura lol
The first day in my office he trembled, sweated and was so nervous
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I have been busy creating, and you?


This is very much needed in my country, and am ready
#IamMAGnectic

Hello all, pictures they say speak thousand words.

I hope you now understand how inspired+motivated I have been since the start of this year, bust especially since October when I joined SIWO (success inspires world). It’s like a 🔥 lit up inside me, and I rose like a Phoenix.

Many call me phenomenal, I have branded myself MAGnectic.

Be inspired+motivated in all your endeavours. Thank you for all the support you can’t tell how I love me this tribe.

Have you ever asked yourself what could be good about this life?


Hello world,

Last Wednesday I didn’t publish a post because I was already working on my psychology lol. I am officially an Author at the awesome blog SIWO aka Success Inspirers’ World! I mean they have such a noble vision and massive outreach of over 10.000 subscribers not to talk of readers. You may really want to check them out and why not shot them an email if you want to join their over 100 authors.

You see, for me, it’s all about sharing the good I have come to conclude there is in this life. My first blog there is the resume of my crisscross life and an answer to the above question lol

I plan to be a Wednesday author over at SIWO, and hope many of you follow me to and from there hahaha.

Have a fab midweek everyone…

Sometimes you may want to punish them and end up punishing yourself big time…


Hello world, I may be smiling in those pictures but one can one do?

So, those two guys D&G are still around because well their dad didn’t take them last friday as agreed for a month. Alain is on an internship and as is at dearest Grandma’s for the month since Sunday. You can imagine how all over the place my schedule now is. Indeed, since yesterday I have been working from home.

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Yesterday afternoon, I just had to stop at some point and take them swimming (gladly not so far from home and all free cause it’s their family business lol) so Gaby whom I had initially grounded, was about to make me lose my nerves for real with his pranks. Taking them there was to be honest therapeutic too for me and I could use that chilling and bonding time.

Today, ha David of all pulled some dishonest pranks and I decided to take him to the market with me. Oh had I forgotten his girlfriend Patience. I mean a trip that solo will last 20 mins max, ended up lasting 60 minutes. Gaby who had gone out without my permission and was specifically told not to step out, ignored the instruction and went right out to play.  Second grounding right? I found him dirty and asked him to bathe under my supervision. Well, he loves water and showed me just how much…ok relax Ayo… He wanted to go sit outside to eat and I said no, right next to me on the table while I work…what was I even thinking?

In short, he wouldn’t siest, has all sorts of stories and distracting stuffs he has to do indoors now, and I just ended after 2 full hours of sighing and near shouting to let him off…

I mean, there are days in the life of a parent especially a single parent…you just end up laughing at your own calamity…I really think I was punishing my own self lol

Hope this post makes us parents and single parents in the house laugh some…it was good release & anger management typing same off…and my mental health is vip for me…

Be inspired and motivated…one day it shall be another stage and story lol

p.s: anyways, all is well that ends well and I took myself out for dinner hurray. the last time was in December 2017 lol

Leading Ladies like myself will be attending this groundbreaking conference…


 

Since I returned to my country in August 2015, I haven’t attended any conferences. Workshops or small gatherings yes, I even tried organizing some under the platform I launched called Inspiring Positive Actions Now, but it didn’t quiet take off. My dream on my return was to actually organize a mega conference for women dubbed “Women walking with stubborn but passionate faith”, I had started putting together a team and then all sorts of challenges came in and I prayed and let it go.

It can then be easily understood why I am so excited to attend this conference which I aptly qualify as ground breaking in this country especially in such difficult times we as individuals and the entire nation are facing. I think ladies above all will have to step in the gap to lead themselves and the country as a whole, through all the unrest we are going through, be it spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, socio-cultural… you name them…

I mean, just read their vision:

The vision of this conference is to bring together 500+ women leaders and those involved in leadership in order to encourage, nurture and strengthen leadership abilities by engaging them through capacity building workshops, teaching, motivation and panel discussions on issues that affect women and their leadership in the society. The ultimate goal is to see these conference attendees empowered to carry out their God-given assignments in the home, workplace and world.

And yes, I went to school with some of the ladies profiled as authors, speakers or organizers, so it’ll be so much touching soul base for me. The Lord is really good all the time. If I cannot accomplish something and a sister or brother can, trust me I’ll join them and cheer them on and make some real noise and impact. I wish I could bring someone else, but you know in matters of the soul, your soul must be stirred from within and nothing else. All else will be glam which will backfire in the long run big time.

The conference is put together by an organization called Lead Mission International and their programme shows they’ll be organizing similar stuffs in Burundi too. Isn’t this simply awesome? This is the first of such conferences they’ll be organizing in Cameroon, and although I have a feeling nothing will be easy for the organizers especially with meeting set targets, I hope they brave through it all, counting on no other Grace but the most Amazing one provided by the almighty God and Father Himself. I can’t wait to meet the organizers in person and see what lies ahead in terms of collaboration, learning, sharing and more.

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I plan to get a copy of the book because I can see my story in there though not included lol. I will be meeting the editor myself and as an author, I am super excited. Who knows if he’ll take on my next publication? That project from every indication has a course I don’t master because each time I try telling my spirit I want to let it out now, am reminded patience is a virtue.

All in all dear all, I already feel it in me it wouldn’t be an idle weekend. I have a very soulful event on the eve of the conference in Douala and I blog on that in two days, then I leave the very next morning for Yaounde where the conference takes place, and will return to Douala on Sunday by God’s Grace. I am bundling all of this into a Me Moment because on my return, I may be alone at home (guys should hopefully be gone on vacation), but I have to resume psychology studies and writing my draft for next year. Any leading lady in Cameroon wants to attend, please call any of the numbers on the flyer and pay a sum you wouldn’t regret spending on your personal growth because YES – YOU DESERVE IT

Have a great week everyone

Because I have hit rock bottom I can…


 

Because I have hit rock bottom, I can work with those who have

Because I have been abused, I can work with those who have

Because I have been traumatized, I can work with those who have

Because I have known pain, I can work with those who have

Because I have known loss and grief, I can work with those who have

Because I have loved and hurt and cried, I can work with those who have

Because I have made poor choices in life, I can work with those who have

Because I have tried and tried and keep trying, I can work with those who have

Nothing ain’t easy, but it is so worth it to reach out

To try just one more time, to hope the next call will be it

There is help out there, though mingled in such grime

Marred by stigma, taboo and shame

But we can meet, sometimes by fate and faith

Someone who truly understands, and is willing to help us out

It sure takes patience, empathy and dare I say love

But it is possible, because: I hit rock bottom and bounced back!!!

P.S I chose purple because it signifies hope to me

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect

Walking the Walk: Tips to Keep You Moving Forward After Addiction by Adam Cook


Avoid relapse tips

Addiction is a terrible disease that strips you of your life and tries to take you to the darkest corners of “rock bottom.” If you’ve given yourself the tools to begin your ascent toward a new and healthy life, congratulations. You’ve found an inner strength that can get you through the lowest of lows. But sometimes, even the strong need a little something to keep them going. Here are a few ideas that can help you on your journey.

  • Engage in exercise. Strong body = strong mind and your mind is what’s going to get you through this. If you don’t already make fitness a priority, begin a group exercise class, which will help your regiment your time and give you something to look forward to.
  • Create positive social relationships. If you’re like many addicts, you started taking drugs/drinking alcohol after succumbing to peer pressure. When you get sober, you have to leave the negative friends and influences behind. Surround yourself with people who see your best qualities and make you feel good about being you.
  • Nourish you mind. Read a book, work a puzzle, or enjoy a good laugh with friends. These things may not make you more productive, but they will help you keep your mind centered and clear of the clutter and confusion that might lure you off your path.
  • Learn a new skill. If you lost your job because of your substance abuse, there’s never been a better time to change careers. Don’t be afraid to pursue a new degree or take classes to help you learn new job skills. Fast Company cautions that the first few days and weeks obtaining new skills is the hardest; don’t allow yourself to give up. A new career might just be the long-term change you need to maintain your sobriety.
  • Do something good. Addiction can rob you of your sense of purpose, especially if you lost important parts of your life along with it. Start regaining your sense of self by volunteering for a cause near and dear to your heart. Psychology Today explains that when you volunteer, you make a choice to do something positive and can focus on something you feel strongly about.
  • Set goals. Goals are what keep us motivated. They help us create structure and allow us to draft our own plans, whether for professional success or personal freedom. Set goals for yourself that will help you turn your vision of the future into a reality that doesn’t involve the things that brought you down. Start with small goals that will lead up to larger, more meaningful ones. For instance, if you lost custody of your children, set the goal to earn those privileges back by creating a “to-do” list of actions you must take to prove you’ve changed so you can regain their trust.
  • Establish healthy habits. Your time as an addict was likely filled with negative actions: drinking, stealing and lying. Instead, replace these with healthy habits that can help to keep you safe and sober. Make a point to spend time outside each day, wake up in the morning and take a minute to just breathe and be alone with yourself, start cooking at home and make nutrition a priority. Other healthy habits include taking a time-out when you’re angry, limiting screen time and learning how to accept criticism without getting down on yourself.
  • Avoid relapse triggers. Perhaps most importantly, if you want to stay sober, you have to learn to identify and manage problems that might lead to relapse. This might be arguing with your spouse, stressing over money, or driving by the liquor store. Whatever your trigger, eliminate it from your life or take steps to change your reaction so you aren’t tempted by your vice.

Addiction doesn’t have to win. Celebrate each victory and know that you are strong enough to keep going. It takes work, and you have to fight for it constantly, but sobriety is a battle worth winning.

About the Author

Adam Cook is the founder of Addiction Hub, which locates and catalogs addiction resources. He is very much interested in helping people find the necessary resources to save their lives from addiction. His mission is to provide people struggling with substance abuse with resources to help them recover.

P.S: I really appreciate being found out and by people with whom I share common passions, values and all in between. I am very grateful to Adam for finding my website cool enough to host his article. Such useful tips and I will sure be dispensing copies out to my clients. Such articles will go a long way to beat the Stigma surrounding addiction and recovery, and mental health/illness overall. Please while here, you can reach Adam via an email: information@addictionhub.org

How do you define yourself? Here is my how…


 

 

How do you define yourself Marie Abanga asked the journalist? and I said the following as it flowed from my heart: “I am a Person of Passions and a Tale of Talents”. What else would you want to know when someone defines themselves in such clear terms? But the look on the journalist’s face wasn’t seemingly satisfactory even if he didn’t say so. The interview was by TV 5 Africa on epilepsy and mental illness, questioning me in my capacity as the Country Director of the Gbm Foundation.

Their background check had indicated I was a lawyer, a mental health advocate, and  an author. They didn’t get the update that I was equally a CBT Therapist, a clinical psychologist, a motivational speaker and a life coach. When I introduced myself therefore at the beginning, I rolled through all the different stuffs I do and how passionate I am about each one and grateful for the different talents. As an author, I have written over 5 books and several poems, some of which I have turned into songs and look forward to going into a studio to record same. I will just stop at these few passions with their accompanying talents.

Indeed, my career path is in three dimensions although I can see them merging in one big jumble in 5 years. The lawyer will meet the Dr in Psy and the author will also join them and one new big path will emerge for me to keep following wherever they lead in all stubborn but passionate faith.

And so, I forge on with my passions, and the one which captivates and occupies me more recently is psychotherapy. I have a diploma with merits in psychology and a distinctions in CBT Therapy. I want to take an Msc in mental health psychology when schools resume and I also want to have a better understanding of addictions, substance abuse, dis-intoxication and rehabilitation.

Indeed, I was recently so honoured when two bloggers offered to write guest articles on the above. I will be putting them up on Wednesday and Friday, and intend to create a page for addiction and resources and its link to mental health.

Having found my purpose and got a very clear revelation of who I am, getting grounded in how I define myself brings me great joy and fills me with tremendous gratitude to God – my Higher Power for all the inspiration and motivation.

And you gentle readers and followers, how do you define yourself if I may ask?

Therapy is Tough: There are no Pills to Prescribe nor Pop


Dear World,

I started my official therapy practice on the 2nd of April 2018, and to say it’s been all rosy will be untrue. However, reflecting on the above has helped me to be filled with compassion for all I see and to recognize the reality of the situation in my country as far as mental illness/challenges and alternative treatments especially therapy is concerned.

Many want a quick and permanent fix which they are sadly yet to get with the medications they are taking. They are prepared to give something else a try, but helas not many want to try something as tough as CBT or psychotherapy. CBT involves work and honest vulnerability and collaboration. One honestly told me he couldn’t trust me or himself.

Some reasons I have come to think Therapy is Tough are the following:

  • It takes some time

Depending on the problem formulated (which itself could last an entire session), I could suggest some therapeutic engagement of 2/3 months. This time for me is good enough for a more accurate assessment of both the client and the work accomplished. The clients (many are patients) don’t have that time to spare especially given their current state and search for good health. Then, there is the family whom I love to. I have however only met a handful of the families whose patients am trying to work with. I think they expect me to understand their embarrassment, frustration and lack of motivation to give this ‘therapy thing’ a try. They simply don’t have any more time to go try this alternative treatment. It all boils down to the patient’s engagements which I have hinted can dig up a tsunami for all concerned. A few have carefully pondered this and told me they are not ready, they prefer to keep ‘suffering’ while hoping the right meds for their condition is found one day;

  • The pervasive meds culture is here too

Well, for almost all I have seen out here, it is all about amazement at the many meds they take which can’t do the trick. The shrink told them to just take their meds religiously and since they take and nothing happens, he only adds some and stops some or increases the dose and the circus continues. I have seen like 3 who are at their 4/5 hospitalization in 8/10 years of crisis. Maybe the shrink being overwhelmed (only one available for 30/50 patients some days), and not really having many options to suggest to the patients and their families, hardly recommends seeing a psychologist or therapist (assuming there were a handful in the city lol)

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  • The families don’t buy into therapy and many don’t have money

Throughout my stay at the hospital, I have sadly found several families to be discouraged and dispirited more than the patients they bring. I know how difficult it can be, I was once the family of a patient. But mum was instead open to trying anything and I mean anything. I accompanied my brother a therapist and other appointments, and one actually came home for their sessions. But, the reluctant families here, even when as part of my internship I offer talk therapy for free, don’t really think it can be of any good. Imagine how discouraged the already discouraged patient can be to talk to or talk with you. Talking of money for out of hospital sessions especially as I’ll be leaving there in less than 10 days, the big excuse is there is no money – all the many meds have already drained up all resources. Reduce the fee to the barest minimum and it is still no – thanks. A few have come for one session and paid up yes but have thought about it again and just stopped.

The above is some of the reasons I have come up with in my analysis of the challenges of therapy in my setting.

I don’t know about the approach to therapy elsewhere; nor the appreciation mental health consumers have for therapy. I would sincerely appreciate any comments in this respect. Thank you very much.

Ps: I am not contemplating stopping practice, just sharing a side to the coin of my reality since starting practice as a CBT Therapist and clinical psychotherapist

Have a great week everyone

Sometimes It’ll get worse before it gets better


 

 

It was precisely on the 4th of April that I hosted an incredible young lady called Yensi Helen, the founder of the Hope Centre. I will write a post about her and the amazing work she is doing subsequently. That day was also the appex of my healing eye near going shut.

I had a few days earlier seen a vision of 5 white rays coming to that eye as I slept, and when I got alert and waited for the 6th ray, ha nada. But I had gotten the message. It could be worse, but it will get better. Indeed, a few days later, it got worse as you can see.

The eye swelling started out as a joke sometime around February 26th. I mean it could be hardly noticed in the pictures below taken around then right?

 

I took it mildly in the beginning, trying out home remedies before starting what I now call a medical tour of duty. I mean I saw 4 different opthamologist, a neurologist and a cardiologist lol.

 

But, through it all, I kept my cheer.

My initial predicament was how to start my internship at the psychiatric ward as a clinical psychotherapist with that eye. Hurray, nobody cared about my sun shades which ended up becoming my trade mark.

 

Fast forward to 3 months later, it is getting better and better and am so happy of course.

 

And so dear all, in life, as it happens, convince yourself it could get worse and it’ll sure get better. Move on trying your best not to throw or be invited to any pity party, revel even in being called a one eye wonder woman (the most befitting nickname I have ever received by the way lol), and why not even think about the worst case scenario? ( I had already looked at some real sexy eye patches just in case you know).

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18.05.18 Last day of official spiritual journey – Thanksgiving workout, eye completely healed Amen

I can’t tell you how much my spiritual journey has purified me and fortified me and made just love life 120% over. I share to inspire and motivate, be well everyone

Watch me celebrate in 18 seconds lol