Tag Archives: Life lessons

I am Sophisticated and other mix from my world


Advocate me
Yeah that lady you see there is said to be sophisticated

Hello world and happy weekend,

  1. I wouldn’t have blogged about being sophisticated if that remark hadn’t been thrown at me twice in two days. First on Wednesday and then on Thursday. First case was on a whatsapp forum where I wrote: ‘with all due respect I beg to disagree…’ The backlash was to me ‘complicated’. First I was told I was disrespectful (in writing the way I did – have learnt now), next I was told I was ‘jealous’ (because I said much time was wasted on a professional group wishing happy birthdays unend – like 93 messages that day was just that), and then the: ‘You are sophisticated’ – leave the group if you don’t like… Thursday another incident with an individual on whatsapp again. He write to me a second time without my name – shoots something like: ‘Hey, can we meet…’ I had already told him I find it more personal when my name is used at least in the first exchange for the day, and I had told him so the previous time we chatted… He didn’t take my gentle reminder lightly and: ‘You are sophisticad’ was dished again. So, maybe am sophisticated after all. I really don’t mind how anyone sees me because I see myself as it matters to me the most and am proud of who I am becoming big time. If sophisticated is part of the description by some – then so be it;
  2. It isn’t my business how others raise their kids, but if I have to help babysit them for a weekend, it gets into my business. You see one of my neighbours with whom I have a very cordial relationship lost her grandma and couldn’t travel with her two kids. She asked if I could have them for the weekend and I said no problem. They have slept here before and are quiet kids for their tender ages of 3.5 and 2 years respectively. Her first is a boy and the second a girl. I have observed to her because we talk alot and cross paths a lot, that I think she is clearly favouring her daughter over her son. She didn’t hide from me that he reminds her of their dad and all the pain he has/is causing her. The daughter named after her mum is clearly her baby, fondly called mama and has so much stuff more than the boy. Now when she left them, she packed lots of stuffs and a spare shoe for the girl, and the boy had just a tiny handful and no pair of shoes at all. He came in slippers while the daughter had shoes on. I am none to judge but I personally know such glaring discrepancy can take a big toll on a child’s self esteem and even make matters worse at home for the mother. I was at her back for months before she let go her style of correcting the son. She could trash some life out of him and it caused me real painful flasbacks – of course he just kept ‘fumbling’ and the cycle went on… I see a big difference in that area today;
  3. When others know you take care of them in various ways, it may be difficult for them to think you may need taking care of too…I mean even self care is viewed to them as being selfish – Yep I may be Sophisticated is that it? Since Monday last week I have been fighting inflamations on my knees and eventually right hand, but whenever I mentionned that it was quickly brushed aside like it’ll pass don’t worry and then back to their own concerns… I have therefore decided to step up my selfishness scale until I find a healthy balance. I am therefore home today, done the barest minimum for my boys and ofcourse much for myself starting with a long walk – I am starting a new book, finishing a movie and hoping to start and finish another one…

I am very grateful for my support network (quality over quantity is what makes my network so special). One of those I reached out to FOR FREE (seriously reach out to him if you need any expert assistance – and it’s all FOR FREE how big heart is that), is Doctor Jonathan Coltier who has the incredible blog: It’s all about healthy choices

Ever grateful for life, happy weekend every one

 

Advertisements

Has anyone ever felt a stab in their soul while reading?


I don’t know how to properly start or what I’ll even write. I’ll just shoot straight to my question hoping some insights in the comments help me feel less alone. Has anyone ever felt a stab in the soul while they read a book?

Now, I have read so so so many books but I never felt a stab in my soul while reading. Two days ago, I accepted to review a book and the Arc was sent to me. I was excited to read this book because I was looking forward to learning a lot from what promised to be an insightful book. The thing is, it is so insightful it stabs my soul. For all the reading I love and can do, I haven’t been able to go past chapter two.

The brilliant book titled High Tide Low Tide…on being best friends with someone diagnosed with bipolar disorder… is staging my soul. I would love to read it all very fast and get over it, but I can’t seem to go past a paragraph without having to stop, deal and heal and wish and wail in me. Oh Lord, will I ever have a best friend like Martin in the book? Oh Lord, will I ever be the kind of friend or best friend he is to someone diagnosed with a mental illness? Oh Lord, why didn’t I know as much when my brother was still back home with us?

I really don’t know how to help myself sometimes like now…anyone felt like this? Anyone has any suggestions?

Thanks in advance

My Turning Point: And This is my Testimony


Link to Kindle_border
It was on the 10th of October
A day commemorated as World Mental Health Day
The theme was psychological first aid;
First aids are what are within the patient’s or a care givers reach,
to administer before all breaks loose;
I had been seeing some patterns; unhealthy ones to say the least; and my mind, heart and soul were taking tolls;
And I prayed and I meditated and I cried;
I damned my ego, and then I spoke with and to some;
And I listened objectively to others;
I knew I had to get away to think it better;
Gladly there was a week’s opportunity in a distant land;
I returned with a resolve, surely there was a way out;
The truth was bitter but it had to be spoken, faced and dealt with;
On the 10th of October 2016, there came My Turning Point;
I courageously embraced same, and though sad to see some things go, I have faith in all the marvels that lie ahead;
I think my psychological first aid which has stuffed up along my life’s journey, did serve me tremendous;
I am so full of gratitude, I have in my life time met so wonderful people;
have unconditional love from my family;
I know on whose shoulders I stand, I know my Solid Rock; all other ground is sinking sand;
His Banner Over Me is Love, has simply ever been, My Heavenly Father will always see me through, has always done;
Peace be still I say to myself this morning, be glad to have reached your Turning Point:
And this is my Testimony – To God Be The Glory

It’s been 13 years since I stumbled onto & into Motherhood


motherhood-on-the-way
10 days to D Day

Wow : How time flies…

He’s such a young man today and even has his own Bo like swag…

I still remember how it happened – I have said it over and again I felt it the moment he got into me, and I told his dad with whom I wasn’t supposed to be in the first place, that it had happened…

Yes, he is the fruit of one of my most unconventional loves and lives – but oh yes, how I love him just so so so much – He the appex of my joys and sorrow…there’s been no fairy tales in my life … I have stumbled onto and into many things and even motherhood I must be candid… never planned nor groomed so to speak… but am happy just as is…

So, I remember asking his dad what next, and he told me excitedly that he was going to provide for his son ; I inquired if he knew what it took, and he said whatever it took wasn’t gonna be above him… Like he knew what mother or parenthood was all about…

circumcision-day
5 days after his birth, on his way to be circumcised – I cried so bad that day and was sent out of there (blurry picture due to age now)

It’s been rough and tough terrain for me, who has practically been the sole parent he knows ; It’s been rough and tough terrain for me who has had to learn to be a transcontinental mother and be brave about it…

I stumbled onto motherhood because it already existed in several homes including ours, although growing up in there I never learnt from it nor envied it to be candid. It seemed to me you had no more ‘life’ once you became a mother – I now know why a friend often told me her husband constantly reminded her her future was behind her – that future was those kids she had to make sure grew up the best possible way and could be proud of the mother who raised them…

An aunt told me they are the reason I wake up everyday and indeed that’s so true – when I was oceans away from them and had trouble even speaking with and to them, life was pretty miserable and I hit some real lows…

one-of-our-moments-1I stumbled into motherhood and today find myself mum to three jolly guys I fondly call my musketeers. We are a team and most Friday nights are set aside for team building at some eat out. The deal is not what we eat out or where, but it’s the moment we share and the little ‘scoops’ they tell me about their day/week/pretty much anything. I sometimes get to answer some questions, but it’s pretty much about them and theirs. I have cherished those moments right from when they were in my womb.

On this day when my first baby turns 13 – it was exactly at 00:25 am on that 8th of October 2003, 40+ weeks to the date of the great fertilization, I am so grateful to God and so full of awe for this miracle and mystery called Life. I understand some about this motherhood now, I am deep into it with all four of us finally living under the same roof in a house full of peace and love which to me is much better than one filled with Gold and Silver – trust me I know the difference. I am so grateful for all I have met in my various journeys and all I have learnt and shared especially about motherhood…

Here is to all the mothers in the blogsphere; all those mothers who are perpetual caregivers; all those mothers who regardless of the age of their children, still take their vocation so seriously. My mum reminds me that and proves it over and again to me, I am trying and giving my best…ever conscious of the woman and mother I am becoming

Thank you for reading and all the best to us all

Life Lessons


While wishing my Friend Vincent a happy birthday, it is in all appreciation for his generosity that I re-blog this post of his. Do we identify with some of his life’s lessons?

Vincent Egoro

Photo Credit: fin6.com/ Photo Credit: fin6.com/

Today is my birthday. As I look back at my life’s journey over the years, there have been several experiences and lessons that have altogether shaped me into the person I have become today. Nothing reflects most of my life experiences and lessons like this piece I found on the internet:

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them;

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back;

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm, for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something;

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that no matter how hot and…

View original post 424 more words