Tag Archives: Love

Hmm seems Facebook Juju got my moral values & co too right lol


My Moral Codes

Now, for those who don’t about Facebook ‘Juju’, it is those links which you see every now and then asking you to take a ‘face reading’ sort of, by their ‘mediums’ lol. I mean what can I tell you other than that yours truly has been taking some of those ‘face readings’ and the results are quite impressive?

Last Wednesday I shared some, when announcing a ‘huge social project’ in the pipeline. It’s all about keeping the Hope alive in myself and humanity.

So ‘Facebook Juju’ not only got the moral values right, but also something about what people notice the first time they meet me, and em also that am someone special lol

Now, I wish I had those links saved so I could share for someone to maybe go try their luck? Would that be wrong to do? I don’t really know o. I am however happy with my results – and o that were free face readings hahaha. Sometimes your mental wellbeing gets some boost from where least expected. These make me really feel like a princess.

Have a great weekend everyone

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Life and love goes on in our hood


After my rant of yesterday and the meh feelings, I am happy to be on a great going today.

We did our meditation, starting again with a mini course for life. Those daily cards are simply epic. Such communion time with the team is more VIP to me than putting the home in order and etc etc.

I have said my serenity prayer over the missing lenses, and handed that over to my Almighty Father.

Indeed the day started on a very positive note and I feel fantastic.

Wishing us all a happy midweek and a day full of life and love all the way.

Since a Visa to London is not a Visa to Life, I have been busy living lol


 

So Friday is here peeps and I have been busy living indeed wow. I would have been in London this week had I received the visa I applied for to go attend a World Global Ministerial Mental Health Summit. But hmmmmmmmmm, no definite feedback yet from the visa guys other than an email saying:

Unfortunately, the processing of your application has not been straightforward and we will be unable to decide your application within our customer service targets. We are continuing to work on your application and aim to make a decision as soon as possible.

And seriously now, other than a wow wow wow; what could be a better reaction? I applied on the 21st of September and got that on the 3rd of October. My only qualms is my passport ‘held up’ in all this hahaha.

Anyways, that visa to London wasn’t a visa to Life so I continued living my thrilling life lo. So brief but very important timeline shall we?

  1. Friday October 5th 2018, I have a great workout and leave for work so fresh. Am doing some series on Facebook titled ‘Musewithmarie; Keeping it Real; and #MyVoice’ – where I raise awareness to causes that matter like domestic violence, mental health and wellness etc;
  2. Sunday October 7th 2018 I get to vote for the first time in my 39 years of living wow wow wow. I was to fly out on Friday 5th, and when I didn’t get that visa to London, I knew I had no reason not to vote. Getting registered and getting that card took me three years and I wasn’t going to let that down the drain right? To put this presidential elections in some perpective, we got the same President since Ronald Regan became president – like how many guddam years today? I read he is the 2nd longest serving President in Africa wow;
  3. Monday October 8th was my son Alain’s 15th birthday and that was enough to make my week.
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The winning team, I now agree the CIC is in the no smiling stage lol

That evening we went out for dinner and to my amazement he contributed for the outing – I mean I would have missed all this had been off to London right?

I share just those 3 to let someone in some difficult or challenging situation right now know that there can always be a silver lining to a dark cloud if we dare look very well. At least for me that worked once again. I was a funded delegate and all I spent was time and visa fees (big amount of 200 usd for which I even did a fundraiser ha). But am not sitting here and cursing or whining (other than that I’ll appreciate getting my passport back, sooner than not). No, I am busy with living and for this I need no visa…

 

Have a great weekend everyone

It was all about Love Unity and Sisterhood this weekend, + what’s next…


Hello World, a new week is here and I sometimes cherish writing about my thrilling weekends so that their memories stay and spice/speed up my week especially when am looking forward to another tough one like this one starting today.

So, last week I was up and about and I was equally recovering from Malaria now. On Thursday I traveled to Yaounde our capital city to apply for a UK Visa ahead of the world’s 1st Global Ministerial Mental Health Summit from October 9-10. It will be a big honour and delight to attend – let’s see what the visa peeps decide lol.

I worked till 10nish and left for a 4 jours journey which turned out to be 8 hours due to current events in my country (not going into that).

Anyways, once I was done at the visa center the next day, I went to visit a facebook friend and university mate I never even knew lol. She (Arrey Etchi) is a dynamic and passionate Sickle Cell warrior and advocate, and I had been planning to meet her. We had a brief but profuond time. You can read my Facebook write up on that meeting here if you wish lol.

Back to my city with sadly another 8 hours on the road. Weary but not dreary enough to attend our high school reunion on Saturday in another city not so far away this time. I mean, we have monthly reunions but it ain’t every month we all can make it.

This time around, only 4 of us could even do so. Our host was so delighted (yes it was an all girls high school so we are thick hahaha). I love my sisterhood and can only invite those who want to read more on that to click here. It is a brief facebook write up of my hood and why I cherish that hood above all others hahaha…And this too is self care with an awesome support network…

Invitation to NMHDaysI will be attending the 2nd national days of of mental health, organized under the esteemed tutelage of the Minister of Public Health who invited me in my capacity as the GMHPN representative for Cameroon, and how can I say no right? To think I was appointed just a few months ago and I have not even written yet to introduce the GMHPN to the Minister? To think this invitation means some ‘red carpet’ treatment and maybe an interview lol?

The event is held in Yaounde this 25-26, meaning I will leave tonight or 4 am Tuesday morning and return home on Thursday, so you see why the weekend’s memory is even more special for me.

Wouldn’t bore us further with writing more, wish us all a happy week

Healing is not an illusion but a possibility: My brother lives in me


 

Four years on, day for day since I got the call which shook me like no news had shaken me before.

My brother…whose brother? like I would say before starting a fight in your defense whether you were wrong or right.

I am so grateful for where I am in my healing journey and I know you are smiling at your ‘mama Ayo’ from deep within the clouds of our lives.

I can never say thank you enough Lord for letting me have my brother for 33 years, to love and learn from, and to share with in all ways I could. He is forever in my spirit anyway, so the death of the flesh could only hurt me this much now I conclude.

Healing is not an illusion dear all, it is a possibility if you get to looking beyond what you see; if you get to feeling beyond what you touch; if you get to listening beyond what you hear.

p.s: I will forever miss you Gaby, but I will forever feel you as you live on in my spirit – and in our hearts

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Be inspired and motivated dear gentle readers and followers

 

Pray tell how did you learn about Patience?


 

That guy there taught me about Patience big time…I mean as if she was his girlfriend lol

Now, some are lucky to be called Patience and I should assume that virtue is inherent for them. Others learn it at different intervals of their lives, I learnt it from the months before he was conceived, spanning throughout the pregnancy, post delivery and on to present date.

There was to be a girl before David, I had a miscarriage at 5 months, and as if that wasn’t traumatic enough, I was told the gods had to be appeased or else I will not get pregnant again. I wasn’t ready to appease any god, the God I knew needed no such appeasing. I trusted Him and patiently waited on Him.

Exactly 5 months later, I got pregnant for David and then begun more lessons about Patience. Some days when he started kicking, he will take so much time in between or before the kicks, I will get worried. I was advised by the doctor to calm down.

Dday came and although I felt spasm by 7am, David took his time and showed up at 7pm crying his heart out. Alain got me labouring only 3hours and Gaby 1hour lol. As if that wasn’t enough, he developed a respiratory infection just 15minutes after, and had to be put in the cubicle for 10 days. In short, I was numb and well I could only call on Patience to SOS…

David took his time and still does, he was fed right up to 4 years and same with dressing up. He still takes his time today, be it while drawing or playing football lol. The fun for him still seem to be in the kicking of the ball, how cool is that?

 

 

 

Recently on June 20th when he turned 12 years old, he took his time to get his small party going and his invitees left in frustration. David didn’t mind and still put on his best for a hommies dinner.

The amount of Patience I now have today is unarguably thanks to David for a very large part. Even his speech demands your total attention to understand all he is saying. I try my best not to frustrate him by cutting him short or allowing anyone to do so.

Very little gets me on any impatient edge nowadays, and this is very VIP for my mental wellbeing. Even the popular notoriety of Black man time makes me smile and patiently wait while reading, writing etc

 

Patience they say is a virtue and that cannot be overemphasized. Patience has saved my day and life several times, and I am truly grateful for all the lessons David and siblings have taught me about darling Patience.

And now you dear gentle readers and followers, pray tell how did you learn about darling Patience?

There is a more effective alternative to skinning a child alive & other musings


 

This is Miguel, the son of Aime mon amour, the one she used to skin alive until even I who doesn’t hear well will hear and cry some. She has given me permission to share her story if only someone could be inspired and motivated.

Don’t ask me what Miguel used to do to warrant those skinnings. One day she honestly admitted to me it was his dad she was lashing out at, through the poor child’s skin?

Anyway, I started working with Aime, helping her heal. I also took Miguel under my wings, and nurtured him to stop being so scared of his mother and stop behaving as difficult as she would often complain he did.

On the 28th of March recently, she came once again as agreed, to tell me “that your son again doesn’t want to go to school”! I was working from home gladly, and told her to send him to me once he woke up finally. The first time she woke him up, he had made such a tantrum and his dad who was still home had ordered her to leave him alone. Easter break was just around the corner and he is in nursery two for crying out loud.

She did as I asked, and when he came, I decided to first of do any activity with him before talking with him. From my suggestions, he chose writing and drawing. You can see for yourself how well he writes and draws.

Then we sat down to have a chat. I have walked him to school before and had actually noticed a reticence to go into school although he was happy I walked him there on one of those days you know.

It was then he opened up and told me why he didn’t want to go. His teacher beat him, because he wrote for others, who will beat him if he didn’t. Imagine what this small child is dealing with and all along we didn’t know and he was getting skinned sometimes before he even went to the school where he was sure of getting some more. He had just figured out it was better to get only one skinning and not two or three.

Aime was so relieved when I spoke with her, and she promised to find time and go see his teacher. No more energy to waste, no more traumatizing a child further and etc.

This doesn’t mean each tantrum will have a happy ending, but there are many alternatives to skinny I tell you.

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And so last March 23rd when David who sometimes still has a tantrum or the other ( he inherited his dad’s anger and used to throw himself as a child only I could help him out – once at my dad’s he had an episode my dad had to stand behind me lol), came to my room with a litany of issues and a very red face.

I did my best, calmed him down and later asked him if drawing could help both of us further. He accepted and there in less than 15 mins drew that image which was on my PJ.David's inspiration I was so proud of him, he was much calmer, and made it to school on time. No negative energy dispensed, sadly unlike another neighbour this time a man, who skins his 5 year old son until I had to go knock at his gate on that same March 28th.

I hear this man skins that boy until telling him he’ll kill him. Oh my goodness. That little boy committed the crime of going out that day and coming into my own home. I was sitting outside studying and playing with all my many little angel friends, and sadly for him his dad showed up just then. His dad is the one with the motor bike parked in my own home given he has no yard so to speak. We barely greet each other, and I remember his wife coming to ask me when they just moved in to tell Gaby to stop going there to play and scatter stuffs. I saw a frightened woman (I was once one so I can tell), but I couldn’t ask – better mind my business right? Anyway, I told this dad I was going to have to call the police on him if he beat his son again like that – and although he ordered me out and banged his gate, he stopped the skinning at least for that day.

How I wish this rubbish of skinning children alive could stop, as we parents explore more and more alternatives to understanding them kids, relating with them, and getting them understand us too…why have them children only to skin them alive?

Be inspired and motivated someone

Let’s talk about cooking and eating: My story


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In any type of Kitchen I am ok to go; that’s the joy of being an area girl

I love that picture very much because it represents so much to me. I am cooking no doubt, but I am cooking in a some what difficult condition. Yet, am doing it with love. That is the whole line of my story at least with cooking.

From my earliest recollection of cooking for my dolly, (mud puddings and iced tea with mint leaves plugged straight from the trees lol) I loved the whole process. I got lost in the art of it all and I had fun taking myself so seriously and vital – dolly was going to stay hungry unless I cooked for her. The mockery and shun offs I got from home at the time when I offered to cook for all, only motivated me to want to cook better lol.

I also knew cooking food was more nutritional than buying food because both parents told us so. Above all, my late mami mami loved cooking, and cooking so deli, I just fell in love with cooking.

I cooked for us siblings when mum left, and for near two years when living in a single bedroom with my late brother in our father’s villa, I smuggled a kerosene cooking stove, and some food every now and then, to cook for us in that room turned home for us. You can all imagine this was traumatic but I was grateful to be able to cook for my brother who was ere so fragile and could not stand not eating like I could, much to the annoyance of step mother.

When I got married, I will cook and make little salads and deserts as often as I could. I did it with love, but oh how it started piercing my soul when hubby stopped eating what I cooked for all sorts of reasons.

Today, I am in a very good place mentally and all, and I still cook with all that love. Indeed in Belgium, my little private restaurant was baptized merry tables. Ah I wish I could a restaurant out here for real as a retirement venture maybe? Hmm, I got them talents and ideas in abundance no joke..

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Not so skinny here though

But now, what about eating? Hmm, I was a skinny child growing up, play in lieu of food was an ideal bargain I tried all the time. But then, I used to be forced to finish my plate so I managed to share it with the table, ground my hair, dress you name it lol

When living with my brother in that our room/cell if you may, eating was not my priority. Not knowing when next provisions would come or the chance to sneak out, jump over the fence with broken bottles and go smuggle them in, meant that I had to hoard or eat carefully. You can imagine eating lost all significance to me. Maybe only later resurfaced as a coping mechanism?

Exactly, that’s what eating became to me for half of my marital life. I started eating in abundance, topping all the yummy I cooked with ice creams and other delis from the bakery etc

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Not so genuine smile and weight not appreciated one bit, but helas what can I tell you? on my way to 115

When I hit 115kgs, I knew enough was enough. Breathing indeed became a problem and I had to do something.

I got so angry with myself and the world, I stopped eating period. I hid behing dry fasting from 6-6, to reduce my eating to an apple and a gladd of hot cocoa at night. Needless to say anorexia surfaced and near thrived for 18months until mum threatened then pleaded…

Today, at 77kgs, and with the real and free and lovely me now present, I eat for nourishment and out of love too. Love for me, my body, my children, my family, my guardian angel. I also keep cooking for all with love, conscious too of the effects on my physical wellbeing especially with my RA diagnosis and sometimes very painful reality…when I can’t even lift my hand.

In conclusion, I am especially grateful for all those STILL who eat what I cook with love like my boys, and to all those who understand my pull to their kitchens or loo when I visit them hahaha. Maybe I’ll also take up professional cooking on retirement?

Dear all, while wishing you a happy weekend, may I encourage you to think about why you cook or eat…and to be grateful to be able to do either or both…

Give Kids the World: Show the love while they still live


 

Those beautiful kids will never meet my grandma not only because we are continents apart, but also because she died this wednesday at mum’s at the ripe old, gracious age of 91. Mami mami as I called and nagged her from childhood, did love children and spoilt us with candies, food and stuffs she could afford. Had she been able, she would have loved to donate to such a noble cause for kids.

I am not mourning for my Mami Mami because she lived a grateful and gracious life, thankful for even the glass of water she drank ever often. I loved her of course and enjoyed washing her toilet, clothes and even body when she couldn’t do it all alone again. That picture was in 2013 shortly before Mami Mami’s health started to fail the following year. She lived for three more years therafter and stood the test a while.

Please, am not asking for any sympathy not creating any tribute fund (not that it would appeal to any you my gentle followers who may however not know me well enough to give me your money). I am however asking you to donate to a cherished blogger’s search for kind and caring people as he prepares to be a super hero at the Give Kids the World village in February 2018.

May a recent comment he left on a previous post of mine on this same issue, answer any other questions you may have/make it more appealing for you to donate whatever amount you can.

“There is no bigger heart than the one that reveals itself when we offer our services to others in need. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your heart with all your readers and helping them become aware of “GIVE KIDS THE WORLD.” This is an organization whose ONLY purpose is to give critically ill children an experience of a lifetime. Not only have you shared this mission with your readers, you have personally chosen to participate in contributing to this benevolent organization.

I have reached out to many people asking for help. A few have explained their predicament preventing their ability to contribute. I appreciate their candor and honesty. Most, however, have chosen to “look the other way” expecting the rest of the world to deal with this. It is disappointing at the very least to become aware of the reality that so few people care about each other’s welfare.

I have spent my career seeking answers and providing for people’s health needs. When people couldn’t afford my fees for service (but showed true concern about their health issues) I provided the services without fees. If the only time we’re willing to “GIVE” to others is when we can achieve personal gain, we are imposing obstacles and blinding ourselves to great opportunities in life. We must come to realize that this one on one exchange only provides one source of benefit. When we reach out and GIVE to the world, countless numbers of people will reach back.

I hope your readers find it in their heart to donate to GIVE KIDS THE WORLD. This organization provides ALL EXPENSE PAID VACATIONS for critically ill children AND THEIR FAMILIES from around the world! It is one of the most transparent charities I’ve discovered and provides over 92% of the money raised DIRECTLY to the children in need keeping administrative costs and salaries exceptionally low.

Since some people have concerns about the legitimacy of various charities, I encourage anyone to visit charity navigator (an independent organization that rates 1000’s of charities worldwide.) You will be pleased with their confidence rating and more comfortable supporting this charity.

Thank you again, dear Marie for all that you have done. If anyone wishes to join us on this wonderful mission, they can click on the following link to show their love and commitment to the children of the world.
http://support.gktw.org/goto/JCsGoingOverTheEdge
Once you reach the home page, click on the green DONATE button at the top right side of the page.

Thanking everyone in advance for consideration and support of the mission I pursue for children”.

Dr. Jonathan N. Colter

 

Thank you therefore all, may you be moved to click right here and donate to Doctor’s campaign

Have a great weekend

What better remedy for my anxiety right now?


Am sitting alone in the set up classroom of this school which will host the Gbm event I have been talking about recently. It is due to start at 10 am and here we are at 9. 55am and no one but me. The kids on break time tiptoe in one by one and then realize am thrilled by the company. I mean what better remedy for my anxiety just now? And then I get a call that others are stuck in traffic and will be 30mins late, bring it on! 

As a result of the delay in start time which extends to an hour, I have the honour of spending some time with the nursery school kids (one of my dream jobs). Such fun I had and I even made some friends too.