Tag Archives: Melancholy

My Book reviewed: What is the Worst Case Scenario…

What is the worst case scenario

If there is one thing I know,that is very difficult to tell some other person,talkless of “truth”.

I must congratulate the author for this heart pouring exercise she has embarked on. Telling the world your story and giving a damn about “what people will say” about her personality, her work(s), is aplaudable.

The book and other works of hers, acts as an eye opener to me and I quess to a lot more people in the world;

  1. The way I look at and how to help a sufferer;

  2. How I can join the author and many others in the world to advocate for mentally sick persons;

  3. How I can contribute to campaign against stigmatization.

Barrister Marie A. Abanga,is giving a positive light to all who let FEAR conquer them. She is encouraging us all that our fears are just False Emotions Appearing Real and as such, we should not Fold Everything and Run. Rather, we should Face Everything and Rise.

Indeed, ”Abanga Marie was here; she lived; she loved; she was here” and the world will remember her for such unconditional love and efforts shown to humanity.

The question to me and to you out here is

*what have you offer?


Ndzo Ethel Fonjie

P.S: Today has been a tough day because I am sad at the current bloodshed in my country and somehow couldn’t focus enough to get through my todolist for the day. I spent time reading and listening to helpful podcasts and tried to do a little you know. This book review just came in to make my day. I am very grateful to Ethel and all who have read my books and gotten back to me through any medium


Forget Google maps if you are planning on visiting me: Here’s my new address


OK well the picture should be rotated, but bear with me I don’t know how to do that from this smart ass of a phone. Talking about phone, hmm I screwed up somehow and emm this me am a case…

So, phone added to my wahalas and I almost buried my head under my sheets today. Luckily I live by a river and lots of fresh air blows my way.

I managed to kick myself out at 7 am to go for a long walk discovering my neighborhood, and O got some energy to pack out or in whichever… I just wished I could write a better post… Anyway glad I can even write this one… My articulations on feet and hands plus even back hurt lots today …

So to visit me, forget Google maps period… From the airport or seaport whichever u take or can stand, hire a cab ( you wouldn’t bear to take our regular cabs which can pack 6 people going all sorts of destinations etc)…

Now read carefully, tell cab oga to take you to Terminus Bonamousadi… Say you are going by the river of… (Fill in the blanks with what you see on the picture). When you get to the roundabout at T, ask the okada guys for the Church of Later day saints… Before you get to that church, look closely on your right after the first entrance on your left, and you’ll see a large palm tree. There is a street lamp there, and a Mami who fries puff puff has her shade just next to that tree…

Ok enough for now, just call me when you are there. No whatsapp please there may just be no network… And oh at least no power cuts here nor burst pipes… Anyway am by a river and we can go fetch all the water we want on head, hand or even foot…

Please don’t be scared by my new address, I know in Brussels it was much easy but guys am back to Douala, Camer, Africa. Am also a good cook 🙂

So see you: thanks for reading, am glad managed to write something in moments like these…

Choice and emotion: a short essay with some musing

Choice and emotion: a short essay with some musing.

With the above post from one of my favorite blogs beyondmeds, I re-launch my presence into the blogosphere.

Yes, I took a shortmedium break. I had and still have some issues both ‘upstairs’ and ‘outstairs’ to resolve.  I am ready!!!

I am glad to have so many to learn from and to share with. I am glad that I can live with my emotions however they come without resorting to meds to help me. I wish several other could or are actually doing so. Its a wonderful experience to get past the melancholia in real and then to look back. It’s like giving birth without an inducement or better still undergoing an operation without anesthesia? Hmm this last one is almost impossible right?

And so dear gentle readers and followers, lets look forward to what I have scheduled for this week. Yeah I made the choice – to keep up just being me.

Sibling Grief

My elder sister and I at the airport to receive Gaby's remains
My elder sister and I at the airport to receive Gaby’s remains

I know siblings usually grieve much more ‘internally’ than do the parents of the bereaved. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to “Grieve In” because I had once tried and it haunts me up to this date. Yup, it was my own one day old daughter I lost and as per ‘conventions’, you don’t openly grieve for such an ‘abomination’. The pain is there for real, the tale ever so pale especially if he died a simpleton like ours. No, I am in so much pain and it seems to be bearable the more I grieve it out.

Today dear readers, I want to share some pictures with you of this lone hero of ours (his three sisters left behind). I keep saying, if the fighter I am, the mouthful and strong headed and all, affirms that he is the only sibling I never had an argument with nor fought with, then that bond was rightly beyond blood. He was my angel Gabriel and surely same to us three.

Our journey starts with this dearest and pretty African Queen:

Mam in the same boarding we later went to
Mam in the same boarding we later went to

Several years down the lane it became this:

At first we were just three of us
At first we were just three of us

Our darling was very often jolly:

our little Angel Gabriel
our little Angel Gabriel

And some years later:

We are now four
We are now four

Our gentle man

He loved to ‘sap’ (always elegantly dressed):

On our way to Church
On our way to Church
I guess it was the Thriller fever era
I guess it was the Thriller fever era

And then it was Boarding school era when it all started:

First epileptic seizures start around this time
First epileptic seizures start around this time

And the journeys became very painful to watch him do so bad – and yet keep his smile:

Stage one of his journey - the day he talked of the last supper
Stage one of his journey – the day he talked of the last supper
In Germany with elder sister - his stage two as narrated
In Germany with elder sister – his stage two as narrated
Stage four of his journey, with kid sister in Boston
Stage four of his journey, with kid sister in Boston
Mummy's Rose and best friend
Mummy’s Rose and best friend

But all our love couldn’t stop his life from spiraling out of ours; meds and yes too many meds got into the way. His doctors said he needs to and must take them all. One said he weighed more than him so no need to worry. The journey get so bad and on the 2nd of August, 2014, we all learn our Angel is back to Paradise.

My darling's journey
My darling’s journey