Hello world, this past week was a difficult one for me with anxiety rearing such an ugly head again zut…but good I had a plan and then hmm some natural remedy on the dreaded day made me relax near 360°.
On friday I travelled for my late cousin’s corps removal from the mortuary and wake keep (and his demise had simply left me numb to this whole life v death thing). I had arranged with another cousin who has a studio in the same city to shoot my brief video for my mental health coaching services.
- The video shoot went so well and he has promised to do the ‘mixing and all’ this coming week so that I get the final video before the week runs out. Am glad the mortuary was at 2 pm and we finished by noon. When I got to the house and all were getting ready to leave for the mortuary, there issue of who was to stay behind and receive mourners came up – of course I quickly offered to do so (sparing myself some very emotional stimulation – I recall colapsing when I saw my brother’s corpse);
- I was introduced later in the evening to a mourner and she asked me if she could give me a hug. She was looking at me like she couldn’t believe I was the one standing infront of her. She said: “Oh Marie Abanga you are so strong, your write ups have been helping me so much, I really am so grateful” and all that while hugging me hugely. I sure needed and appreciated that huge hug. I told her she was also stronger now that she could read all I write and feel that for herself. All she needed do was find a way to show and share her own strength. Guess her name people? Favour;
- I spent the night at one of my adopted daughter’s and in the morning I realized I didn’t bring rubbing oil with me. Buea the mountain city is very cold for one like me (with rhumatoid arthritis) and so I always stay wrapped up and look forward to putting so much oil on me. I was therefore full of glee when she told me she only had vaseline. I mean only? That stuff keeps you warm and glowing I don’t care about the smell, price or whatever. I haven’t used vaseline since returning to Cameroon because Douala where I live is really warm and I have ‘palm kernel ‘ oil (even more cheaper and foul smelling than vaseline lol – but keeps warm and makes glow) for when I travel to Buea. That vaseline made me remember my Belgium era because of course out there I used only vaseline in abundance. I was so grateful to use vaseline again;
- On my way back I stopped at Limbe to check on my cousin (yes I have so so many cousins lol) who lost his dad. He was also my class mate in secondary school so I had rallied some batch mates to visit him together yesterday morning. Well, his phone had a problem and although we gathered as planned, we couldn’t get to him to know where exactly he was. The others left after an hour and I stayed at their down beach residence to read and enjoy some breeze. Just before leaving, I decided to try one last time and bam – he picked up (had just gotten a new battery he said). We sat and shared much gist for 2 good hours – I had never spent as much time with him – just the two of us and oh my how much soul sharing we did.
All in all, I am having a cool weekend thanks to the above memories and the joy of being alive. I wish us all many memories like these which make life lovely amidst any head and heartaches.
Have a calm sunday
p.s: currently reading a book called Love Life Walk by Steve Fugate and I mean I can’t do that book any justice. If you haven’t heard about him, maybe you could listen to this recent podcast of his?