Menstruation and #mentalhealthmatters


Maybe some of you ladies didn’t grow up in a society which stigmatizes menstruation; maybe it wasn’t a taboo to talk about menstruation in your community; maybe you didn’t lack a sanitary pad ever; or maybe just maybe you always had the right information about your reproductive organs which are largely affected by your menses? But in my community and many many others around the world, menstruation has been such a hush hush and even ‘unclean’ thing to talk about or pay attention to. And yes, when you go about something in such ‘eggshell’ way, there is bound to be anxiety, frustration, hopelessness, helplessness and outright depression which could lead to other mental health challenges and even suicide in extreme cases. And what support do we get from men if any? Are they ignorant or just don’t care and are instead suppressive and stigmatizing? Let’s give it a voice.

This is why I have accepted this other invitation to address such pertinent issues especially with the growing effects on our mental health in moments like these cause by the Covid-19 pandemic.

#thereishope #bethehope
#hope4abusedbattered #mentalhealthmatters #menstrationmatters

The Church and Mental health challenges…could we be more…


Voice of the Voiceless
How can I be silent?

I leave dots after more because I leave it to each one to fill in what they want. I was shaken and yet poked up when I read of the pastor’s suicide. I was also in serious reflections about mental wellness whether you were a christian or not – coincidence or not? World suicide day had just come and gone, and I remember holding a knife to my heart 10 years ago while 5 months pregnant. I wrote several related posts on Facebook about this yesterday and I just saw another article which took me back to thinking about doing this post.

Here is the link to the article I read:

https://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2019/september/pastor-dies-by-suicide-three-things-we-all-need-to-know.html?share=

Now, I don’t know about out there, but in my country mental health challenges are ‘not welcome in church’ period. Better call them demon possessed attacks or wicked people thrown sorts on you – bottom line is you have to be delivered in church, you have lots of penance to do and …

With me being so vocal about my mental health challenges and my PTSD diagnosis from 2014, I quickly learned when I joined church that it’s not so welcome to be vocal – about that and about pretty much – like Rape. I am contemplating if I can swim in such a sea or if I have to leave for real.

So, will this suicide by a pastor cause the ‘church’ to become more…open, real, compassionate, and you can go on; or will they quickly dissociate from the victim pastor, finding reasons to show he was perhaps a ‘fake’ pastor after all?

We’ll see how it goes…in the meantime let’s remember #mentalhealthmatters

Posted in Book Reviews, Poetry

My Son’s book review of A Searching Soul by Marie Abanga (Me)


Alain's review SS

Kindle Cover

This is the first review of my poetry book which is on the amazon at the very afordable price of 0.89$ for kindle and 5 $ for paperback.

Thank you so much my e family and big shout out to all the authors in the house especially Pamela Spiro Wagner whose poetry reading I just so love, and  Dyane Leshin-Harwood whose epic memoir will be released very soon.

Posted in Coaching and Training, Marie's Garden

See who’s back: What a blogging break…


blogging break you said
That was what I thought I needed

What a blogging break I brokered: Am glad to be back!!!

If I have learnt one thing during this blogging break, it is that I really love blogging and the break was not effective.

Primo, I wrote three updates when I had bragged of a month free of blogging. Ha, who was I deceiving? ME it turns out;

Secondly, I didn’t even open the book I was hoping to finish writing during this break. Ha again, who was I deceiving? ME once more;

Thirdly, did I read as much as planned? I bow my head to look at my feet and whisper loudly NO – blogs I follow and 3 or so books and social media fake news etc don’t fill my reading reservoir sorry Marie try harder;

So dear world, I admit I may have brokered a bad blogging break. Indeed, I had hoped to take away to ‘blogging birb’ of thrice weekly and turn that period to reading and writing ‘beck’. I didn’t get any close to achieving that and I realize that although the break from regular blogging did usher in some small mental release, I didn’t really need it. To be honest, I kept counting the days the ‘officially announced’ blogging break will be over and I kept writing down stuffs I would have been excited to blog about.

My evaluating this blogging break is the same way I have for some years now been able to candidly evaluate myself and stuffs in my life. It is the same way I encourage my clients and those I mentor and coach to evaluate their too.

Not wanting to write a long post today on my ‘official first day of new blogging term’, I will conclude with a few updates:

Event flyer

  1. I did continue building my business (s) and am gradually seeing a big picture. I am taking a diploma on CBT to focus on being a personal and mental wellbeing coach of substance ( hardly any in my whole country);

  2. I am working on officially setting up my law firm; another big leap of faith, sometimes collaboration is not for you;

    Gaby
    recently on vaccation in the village
  3. Today my last son Gaby turns 8 and yes he will forever remind me of miracles. His conception was one and he kicked me from the womb when my desperation was its peak and I was holding a knife to my heart. I can never forget that. Coincidentally, I am coaching today on Developing a positive attitude and I am full of positivity and gratitude for life especially on this day. Eight bonus years of living with so much gratitude and I am authentically ME inside out… To God be the Glory Great Things He has Done…

  4. It was therefore a bitter sweet break overall, and there were some moments of ocean breeze and village life – but also some stress inducing and charged moments… life happens

  5. My one resolution with regards to blogging is that no more pressure on myself to maintain any blogging routine, my mental wellbeing is primordial and this is also living my mental health advocacy

Happy Sunday to us all and thank you my e-family

thank you
am so full of Gratitude

And so was Gaby a few minutes ago