Hello World, May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I am dedicated to doing daily (weekdays) posts all having a relation to mental health. Today, I want to share some tips to helping detox from toxic situations and relationships which can harm our mental health. I picked them up from one of the many books I have read, one day I will find that book again and do a review – If I can recall it is about boderline personality people and how to cope: Hope it helps
N stands for: No. Practice saying it. And remember that you don’t need to explain why the answer is no.
I stands for:I. Express how you feel: “I feel …”; “I think …”; “I know …”
C stands for: Clear commitments and agreements. Strive for clarity when you communicate your expectations and commitments.
E stands for: Enough! Don’t hesitate to denounce abusive behaviour.
L stands for: Leave the room or the situation.
E stands for: Emotional distance. Reduce the amount of personal information you share. Limit the topics of conversation.
M stands for: Move out of the house, or away from the area.
O stands for: On your terms. Visits and other interactions are your prerogative.
N stands for: Not answering, or selectively answering, calls, letters, e-mail.
Have a nice weekend us all: Remember you can make the best lemonade with all nice lemon you find
As Nice as Nice, I am yet to find! Well, maybe and probably there are several other places nicer than Nice but, as I add, I am yet to find!
There are surely several reasons why I found Nice and my entire two week vacation at the Côte D’Azur a memorable one.
I mean, when we go on vacation, it is not only to go visit places and take pictures and eat whatever food we may never have eaten before right?
I sincerely think vacations even serve our reflective selves more. They are an escape from routine and maybe mundane? They are an opportunity to discover both your inner and outer world better, maybe learn new things and try new stuffs?
In the Beginning
As an honest introduction, I have never in my entire three decades and more of an existence, gone on such a vacation. Yeah well, as a kid, I spent some summers with either grandparents in the village and if I was lucky, I was sent to a relative’s for some days. Then as a teenager, I got to spend a month in France, some sort of camp, all really thanks to my daddy wanting to ‘make some point’.
As an adult, or even later a wife, vacations were out of the question. Primo, I had no money and secundo, even when I could afford, my ex always had the final NO.
Well, I wouldn’t consider my recent trip to Cameroon to see my boys a vacation right? Which ‘normal’ mother sees her kids only on vacations?
What an Opportunity!
So, the bottom line is, I got to get this sort of ‘Once in a lifetime opportunity’ to louse around for two whole weeks. My DD and I arrived a few days after his family did. They had rented a villa in the nearby medieval village of Vence.
Oho, that villa even had a swimming pool. Come to see the magic that got me a hitherto water fright lady, to take swimming lessons? Now, I can even float even though I still need some swimming stuffs for balance.
From that village, we visited other villages and cities like Cannes
I even went up those famous stairs of course. Walked past the Carlton and had a drink by the Majestic.
We visited the renowned artistic village of Saint Paul de Vince, Grasse and a few more. I even got to learn how perfumes were made after a visit to the Fragonard industry and also visited a Sweets factory.
I have put on some kilos you must bet!
The freaking moment.
Sure, my mind wouldn’t leave me in peace. I know some will wonder if am outright crazy. Who freaks out on such a ‘luxurious vacation? Well, I did and it is then that I could confirm that Depressions and all mental illness acolytes, feared no one or circumstance.
Now, my brain started to blow up and raging thoughts of ‘non-deserving such a treat and my inability to ‘fit in’, ate me up’. I got so concerned that I wasn’t coming along right and I got so scared that I would ‘blow it up’. Sure, I ended up doing just that by ‘shutting up’. I sulked, I couldn’t lay grip on myself, I couldn’t sleep properly at night and I just didn’t want to go along anymore. I mean, I looked as fade as this:
Thanks however to my DD and an e-friend of the Skype Support Innitiative, I was able to spare myself further embarrassment. I lasted out the remaining days although I couldn’t wait for my flight back to Brussels. We recently re-evaluated the whole episode and all, and I came to more conclusions and understanding of myself and my history.
It is sure onward for the best, and those days spent in the Provence region, will forever be engraved in my heart.
Dear gentle readers and followers, I sincerely wish you a happy summer and hope you do visit some great places too.
My thrilling life as an author, coach, consultant & mental health advocate…
This blog is to encourage others that is being victimize, been a victm, or were a victim that they no longer have to live in hidden. I want to share words of encouragement to them and let them know they can come out of their situtaion alive no matter what there abuser is telling or has told them over the years. Some individuals have left their abuser but they are still living in afraid or living in in jail mental; the victim have to get his or her life back. Living behind the wall in public isn't well for them. They have to make a stand for themselves and regain what they lost in that relationship. It will not happen within a week or probably a month. First of all its a learning process, admit to what they lost, and let go of the shame, pride, and bitter. Its up to the victim to want to be a Survior not the abuser.