Posted in Coaching and Therapy, Marie's Garden, Mental Health Advocacy, Parenting

Pray tell how did you learn about Patience?


That guy there taught me about Patience big time…I mean as if she was his girlfriend lol

Now, some are lucky to be called Patience and I should assume that virtue is inherent for them. Others learn it at different intervals of their lives, I learnt it from the months before he was conceived, spanning throughout the pregnancy, post delivery and on to present date.

There was to be a girl before David, I had a miscarriage at 5 months, and as if that wasn’t traumatic enough, I was told the gods had to be appeased or else I will not get pregnant again. I wasn’t ready to appease any god, the God I knew needed no such appeasing. I trusted Him and patiently waited on Him.

Exactly 5 months later, I got pregnant for David and then begun more lessons about Patience. Some days when he started kicking, he will take so much time in between or before the kicks, I will get worried. I was advised by the doctor to calm down.

Dday came and although I felt spasm by 7am, David took his time and showed up at 7pm crying his heart out. Alain got me labouring only 3hours and Gaby 1hour lol. As if that wasn’t enough, he developed a respiratory infection just 15minutes after, and had to be put in the cubicle for 10 days. In short, I was numb and well I could only call on Patience to SOS…

David took his time and still does, he was fed right up to 4 years and same with dressing up. He still takes his time today, be it while drawing or playing football lol. The fun for him still seem to be in the kicking of the ball, how cool is that?




Recently on June 20th when he turned 12 years old, he took his time to get his small party going and his invitees left in frustration. David didn’t mind and still put on his best for a hommies dinner.

The amount of Patience I now have today is unarguably thanks to David for a very large part. Even his speech demands your total attention to understand all he is saying. I try my best not to frustrate him by cutting him short or allowing anyone to do so.

Very little gets me on any impatient edge nowadays, and this is very VIP for my mental wellbeing. Even the popular notoriety of Black man time makes me smile and patiently wait while reading, writing etc


Patience they say is a virtue and that cannot be overemphasized. Patience has saved my day and life several times, and I am truly grateful for all the lessons David and siblings have taught me about darling Patience.

And now you dear gentle readers and followers, pray tell how did you learn about darling Patience?

Posted in Coaching and Therapy, Mental Health Advocacy, Poetry

Sometimes in the mist of it…

Sometimes in the mist of it

A soul may be searching

But not know how to seek

Sometimes in the mist of it

A heart may be hurting

But not know how to heal

Sometimes in the mist of it

A hug may be needed

But none knows how to ask/give

Sometimes in the mist of it

Empathy may be needed

Even if not fully appreciated

Sometimes in the mist of it

We want out of that mist

We need help

We want to scream

But the voice is stuck

The stare and tears

The silence and ramblings

The actions and reactions

Oh sometimes in the mist of it

Lots of patience, love and empathy

Can actually clear the mist

(c) Marie Abanga

WMHD_bannerP.S: Ahead of World Mental Health Day Tomorrow under the theme: Mental Health at the workplace.

Near 9 years later, I finally get the honour and grand style opportunity to show my supervisor at that time how much I appreciate her empathy when I lost my daughter the day after she was born. She was the only person I can remember from my office who called, visited and followed up how best she could in the aftermath. (2 others came along with her on that visit but that was that – I don’t hold it against anybody anyway) She understood when I’ll call the office so in tears not able to come to work. She once chastised me when I visited her and looked like whatever, to go upstairs and sleep (I must have slept 5 hours that day at her home). I can never forget. So if you ever read this, know that the whole world now knows how much I appreciate.

Posted in Journey to Coaching, Marie's Garden

The fattest and juicest bone just eaten by the patient Dog…

patient dog

What will a dog want to do with meat anyway? I used to say that the patient dog is probably a loser because while he waits, his other friends eat all the meat. You know, growing up in a culture which relishes meat, I almost forgot that dogs don’t like meat, the bones are yummier and even help sooth and sharpen their teeth…

If need be therefore, I am a Patient Dog… I am getting ready to eat the fattest and juicest bone. Thanks to some twists and turns, what I had been patiently looking forward to, that is: Having my kids permanently with me – is becoming reality as of yesterday.

You probably can imagine our joy… They are actually at my home since Friday and I got the writ to pick up their stuffs yesterday…

Thank you all so much who have encouraged, supported and loved me and us on…

Wise words on patience

I just found this wonderful quote from Joyce Meyer, one of those power voices I listen to sometimes.While waiting indeed, I found a home and started decorating it more with love than otherwise. I brought my boys to feel their future home, and they couldn’t wait to move in. We just didn’t know when… oh my, could it be any sooner or better?

Please, know that it is possible… that what you work hard for, pray hard for, strive hard for, even wish hard for, can really be delivered to you on a gold platter… sometimes that platter is still so hot and having ground around it, coming straight from the fire – indispensable for making gold right? Receive it with both hands whenever it comes, it may even burn and dirty you a little, but it’ll cool down and you’ll wash the dirt away… and who will be having the fattest and juicest bone after all?…

Nice Sunday to all… The season of Lent has very often brought me so much pain, healing and beautiful things…

Posted in Journey to Coaching, Marie's Garden

How far have you come? Remember the Steam Engine? Don’t give up on yourself!

Steam engine

Hi gentle readers and followers, I admit to a now so so blogging habbit. The weather is changing and so are priorities. Spring is ushering in brighter and warmer days, and so are my dreams, hopes and plans for the future taking on a brighter (though sometimes daunting) outlook.

Let me begin with this huge personal announcement. I realize I have come so far in my life, far enough to go back home to Cameroon and share all this in person. Yes, when one door closes, several others open up. Are we ready to look regretfully at the door which closed behind us, or are we prepared to take one big leap of Faith and look optimistcally for the several others which are probably already open, and all we need to do is walk through?

On another note, this is what happened to me yesterday. Two events actually.

I went biking, and since I am still so excited about this new skill, I decided to challenge myself to a new route once more. I think I have already received an appropriate bike baptism, and don’t fear losing a tooth. i probably only need more patience and determination. Yet, on this new route, I kept pedalling and didn’t find the turn I was hoping would lead me back home. I panicked and decided to return on the otherside of that same route. This was a road by Factories with the sea opposite, and now I was riding by the sea, against the wind. It sure was no fun, and I stopped a good 3 times.

When I got home, I learnt that the turn I had been hoping to reach, was just 300m from where I stopped. I was so disappointed. I remembered this quote a friend shared with us on facebook: “The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come”. I definitely wasn’t appreciating how far I had biked yesterday, I was scared at how far I had to go before reaching the turn.

Well we didn't go to this one, but I couldn't take such an beautiful area view of where we went to :)
Well we didn’t go to this one, but I couldn’t take such an beautiful area view of where we went to 🙂

In the afternoon, I was invited by a family to the Steam engine festival. There was also the WW2 museum. When you get to visit some of these places, and see how much the world has evolved, I bet you you can only leave there inspired and motivated. At least that’s what happened to me. I look at the high speed trains we have today, and wonder if I should be appreciating how far technology has evolved instead of spending my energy bitching when the train is a few minutes late.

And so back to biking, this afternoon, I decided to go back on that route of yesterday. I planed to finish that lag, find that turn, and return home by that other route. It ended up to be a 5.5 km ride, and I did it in 35 minutes ( a new and great record just after two weeks of studies).  Each time I biked and still couldn’t see an end, I just kept smiling and biking. I was proud at how far I had come, and refused to be worried at how far I had to go. My thought pattern was now one of; ‘if you have done this much – you sure can do it all’.

And so gentle readers and followers, here is some inspiration. Appreciate how far you have come. Appreciate how far technology which we today find so unavoidable, has come. Appreciate the beauty around you even as you pedal uphill. There is no mountain without a descent route. I so love this line of C.Dion and R.Kelly’s hit song  titled I am your Angel: “No mountain is too high for you to climb, all you need is some climbing Faith”.

Have a wonderful weekend everybody.

Posted in From Around!, Marie's Garden

Bike Baptism and discovering the Patience of a Fisherman

I just wanna share some pictures to illustrate this post. Now I can bike indeed and I can take off and stop on my own. Even if that stopping results in this:

Now I am getting there :)
Now I am getting there 🙂

And sure I immediately got up and climbed back on that same bike, a bigger one than the one previously used. I know it takes patience to master anything we set out to do. But men, the patience of a Fisherman?

I had the chance to hold a fishing rod for the first time in my life. I had before that helped to dig up white worms from the ground to be used as baits. All this is discovery! I mean, some of Jesus’ disciples really had to be from this professional background! We sometimes eat fish and take for granted the patience of the fisherman. I tried to smile when I started off:

PF 2 and thought to be hopeful:PF 1 but the bike baptism wasn’t helping and there was no fish in sight. In the end I wished I could just swim away:PF Now is bedtime and I am yet to figure the best position for my knee and whether I should cover up the wound or not. It’ll heal though and tomorrow is sure another day.

Dear gentle readers and followers, indeed as long as we breathe, we can’t say we’ve learnt or seen it all right?

Posted in From Around!, Marie's Garden

Short Break update: grumpily going into week two!!!

Dear gentle readers and followers,

I promised an update last week when I first took this short – heading towards medium break. I was smiling Hurray then but now I am grumpy. Grumpy not because I so hate breaks, but because I hate breaks I can’t really relax about because I am sort of nervous.

1) I have created a website and thought to transfer my blog’s DNS to the same registrar as the website. Oh I who knows so nothing about this ‘server magic’, thought it was gonna take a couple of days only. Heck, the first part just got through only this very minute and so I am waiting for… See my nervousness? Who sent me?

2) I have a lot coming up before the month runs out and I hate not being able to clear my head of all such distractions from DNS. Serves me hot coffee – I should have known better huh!

3) I already miss blogging. I have posts scheduled for next week and so this DNS saga better gets sorted out before Saturday. In the meantime, I wait and try to enjoy this second part of the break right?

Hope you all are cool in your corners and that my archives still bring some readers my way. I am equally enjoying reading and commenting on other blogs. Till then,

I miss you all…

Posted in Marie's Garden, My Heroines

Fati my Senegalese hairdresser and heroine

I truly love writing about my heroines right?

I found an Unconditional Friend in Fati
I found an Unconditional Friend in Fati

Many of them are in my little world and some are out there known by many. Well, that’s life and I am a woman who has never stopped counting her blessings.

So here we go for today.

I have always loved to have a particular ‘service provider’, be it my tailor, hairdresser and all. The best reason is that I hope to have someone I could bond with in that regard and not just see as a ‘trader’. Even in the markets back home, I had my special ‘mamis’ from whom I bought this or that foodstuff etc.

When I came to Brussels, I started looking for a hairdresser. Men, I even shaved my hair at some point so that I could have more time to decide on what next to do about braiding giving the cost, and trouble finding ‘a  hairdresser’.

I asked some Africans I met in the streets, bus anywhere and most sent me to ‘Matonge’ (an area like one of those open markets we have back home). My guts however did not want to go there.

And then someday last August, I was referred to Fati and since then, she has become my ‘sister’ from Senegal.

Last monday, I went to do my hair as usual and Fati gave me an appointment to meet up somewhere. She was a bit late and I was getting nervous. A friend I spoke to adviced that I go to ‘Matonge’ but I decided to wait for Fati.

As if the delay wasn’t enough, when she came she insisted we go to her new ‘cot’ which was like 45 more minutes away. Well, I went along after all, we were already together.

Fati loves chatting and she let me in on so many things in her life and family and all and I was just glad to listen and note how glad she was to have a listening ear.

When Fati started braiding my hair ‘at last’, we were soon interrupted by her Uncle with whom she lived that it was lunch/dinner (5pm or so) time and he wouldn’t take any excuse.

So you can see for yourself how it went the Senegalese way : I was glad to drink two cups of their lovely chai though 🙂

Sharing a meal the Senegalese way
Sharing a meal the Senegalese way

Fortunately, Fati does the braiding pretty quick too and so in like an hour later, we were done:

I looked like a barbie doll huh!
I looked like a barbie doll huh!

Sometimes, I have an idea of what I want but Fati often tell me what she thinks will be best for me giving the weave I bring and all.

What matters in the end is the love I find in Fati.

She is a Muslim and that’s not our concern.

She is however a strong woman who has equally been through so much and is out here on her own with her 3 kids back in Senegal with her mother. (Maybe you can talk of birds of the same feather?)

The best part is, Fati thinks she should pay for my transport fare and always insist on returning 5 euros whenever I pay her which already is a very modest amount.

Someday, I may have to offend her and not take the money or what do you think gentle readers and followers of mine?

Posted in Marie's Garden, Uncategorized

Gratitude all the way

I started my blogging journey on the 17th of November 2013 and to say that I knew what I was doing will be a fallacy.

Not only did I not know what I was doing, but I didn’t even know how I was going to do it.

I took a weekend, or rather the evenings of a friday, saturday and the sunday, to come up with a blog. I just read and typed here and there and selected different options until I got something that looked not so bad to my own eyes back then.

I then started to read other blogs and learn the art of ‘blogging’.

It however dawned on me by day 4 that I could be good if I persisted. I got my first trophy from wordpress and even saw a post of mine reblogged somewhere.

likeable-blog-5-1x.png 13.11.17

I decided to lean in and reach out. I worked on my social networks and ‘e-family’ – yes I have since met inspiring people in abundance.

I continued with my hard work and all my networking and posting and today, I received a great trophy from wordpress once more:

likeable-blog-100-1x.png 14.01.22

So I am all the more resolved to make it, even if only for the first five who liked my posts or the hundreds of today. I know someday I would have thousands of likes.

I don’t aspire to be an accomplished author or something in that light, no I want to become a huge inspiration and motivation to my own generation.

And, ‘no matter what it takes, no matter how hard it gets, am going to make it’ Les Brown.