Posted in Coaching and Therapy, Marie's Garden, Mental Health Advocacy, Spiritual Journey

Sometimes in life, you may have to smile differently and come another day…


 

Hmm world, I have got lots and lots of experiences in life, I don’t know when I’ll be done sharing them lol. I learn too from all of them and find it fulfilling to share these lessons with you all dear gentle readers and followers.

So, I wanted to do an internship as a clinical psychotherapist at our lone public psychiatric ward in our city which happens to be the economic capital of the country, and boy was it tough to get that. I had to go through two interviews. First with the Director of the Hospital, and when he was ok with my head lol, he sent my file to the head of the psychiatric ward who also had to be ok with my head.

Well, I don’t think this happens only in my country, but if you want to get to see any of such caliber of persons, you need two main things in my opinion: A good reference, and a very meek smile which could take you past their secretaries. Of course, the secretary should even be disposed to look at your file/reference and at your face. This is another feat because you are to drop the file off at the ‘mailing service/service courier in french’ and then follow up whichever way you can.

I did you know, because I love following procedure. But I knew waiting for normal procedure to take its course will get me no where. I kept a copy and went out looking for a reference. The first I got didn’t serve the purpose although ironically had once occupied a high postion at the same hospital (talk of life’s shenanigans lol), so I sought for a second which thank God did the magic. In each case, I was received twice by each secretary and given an appointment twice to meet their bosses. You could say I prayed and fasted, and practiced different smiles.

First meeting with Director, barely looked at and told to go wait, but second meeting, different smile, different day, different temperament, Director was very impressed with my credentials and head, and the fact I was coming to start here and not run off to set up private practice or only work with international organizations and think only money money money (his words lol).

Over to psychiatrist, secretary not so receptive first time, but my persistence and perseverance paid off. I even wore my pinky plush superstitious jacket given me by dearest Rachi, and didn’t fear my swollen eyes would sell me out behind the sunshades lol.

Fast forward to today, I am a favourite of both secretaries who call me affectionately ‘ma fille’ (my daughter), and the Director’s secretary recently helped me do up to 100 copies of different worksheets I use. What will you call this now? Wasn’t this worth all that smiling and patience? This is good for our mental wellbeing if you ask me, I am so happy for all these lessons.

Be inspired and motivated everyone especially during this weekend as you muse about life

 

Advertisements
Posted in Coaching and Therapy, Marie's Garden, Mental Health Advocacy, Spiritual Journey, Uncategorized

And my ego and body took a big bashful beating hurray…


img-20180516-wa0005-153109857.jpg
photo taken 17.05.18

Hmm, that picture was taken on the day my ego and body conceded defeat at exactly 3am. I looked at the time when the thought crossed my mind that ‘this is it for your ego and body’.

I was recently on a spiritual journey of some length, and indeed pressure was not only coming from the outside to give up you know. My ego and body were spearheading the naysayers. Let’s start with fella ego shall we?

Are you sure you can do this?

Nobody asked me the above question out rightly except fella ego. I quickly ignored him and set about with my preparations, mainly emotional and spiritual, then telling my entourage (especially the boys you know). But you know fella e, he lies in wait and pops again even in your sleep. Anyway, it’s all come to pass and I did it…big time and all the way…

What will people say?

Both fella e and the fella Es of a few ‘concerned’, asked me the above a few times. What if they say you are sick, be it physical or mental you know. What if they shun your services and you can’t survive like that anyway, what if, what if!!! I decided to write an official I need no one to believe in me post here on my blog to take care of that once and for all…

You are losing far too much weight and your health too you know

I should be weighing 70/71kgs which is 4kgs below my ideal although my ideal for BMI is 73kg. So what is the alarm? Yes I had some mild health challenges with an inflamed eye which all but shut down and some equally mild RA flares lasting 3 days each, but I mean spiritual journey or not, that could happen. So no all fella Es, the spiritual journey wasn’t going to be stopped. I took several different meds and products for the eye thanks to misdiagnosis, but thank God none was to be taken during the day nor mandatory with food – sorry this approach too didn’t work. I even told my GA when that eye started that it was but a distraction

Give them a piece of your mind like the real you would back in the days

At the start of stage 4, I faced what I will call the most emotional challenge I had ever faced since starting the journey. Fella E nagged at me to give it a piece of my mind and abandon the spiritual journey if it’ll cool tempers and let ‘peace reign’. Well, prima, I listened to my spirit and waited 7 days before giving a piece of my serene mind, and then when the challenge continued I shut down emotionally and said I felt that was the best option for this stage (turned out to be one of Grace – and that was the best decision I made from every indication). You see fella E, you don’t know any real me and you can’t lure me with any of your trapings. I wouldn’t even bother to give you any piece of my mind – let me address your sister body now

A nagging swollen eye

It could sometimes get worst
The worst of a distraction

It started like a joke on the 26th of February. I quickly felt in my spirit that was going to accompany me through out the spiritual journey and although it will be a distraction so no ‘unwanted’ questions are asked about the spiritual journey itself, it turned out to attract a lot of attention. I decided from the very beginning to deflate my ego by baptizing the eye “our healing eye”. I told God it was “our eye” and He knew how much we needed that eye. I however told Him what my spirit told me which I know He was aware of, the swelling or inflammation was a distraction and I treated it as such, stopping barely to sleep at night.

I went about my activities and took up riding the bicycle the more inflamed it got. I read An American Marriage the weekend the eye got to its worst (48hrs to finish that epic novel because I got it from a sister who brought same from the US and was yet to even read the cover)… the eye got its final dose of healing on the 13th of May 2018 and that was another exciting chapter closed in that thrilling journey.

Tiredness and Sour Mouth

The last ditch from my body to get me to stop this just ended awesome spiritual journey was to threaten to breakdown. The last week in particular was spectacular. My sleep was literally messed up. Sleep 8.30 pm – 2.27 am and then toss around with some REM sleep for maybe 30-45mins and then give up – and then embarrassingly nod off occasionally during the day on the spur. Three days after it started, while meditating, I got the aha, that is the last attempt. Even the sour mouth which I thought was due to meds was rather intensifying although no longer on meds. Well, I slept much better today and the sour mouth is getting better.

And so dear all, that in a nutshell is how my Ego and Body disturbed and and got a big bashful beating. The spirit was so willing to the point that no weak flesh could deter it.

Be inspired and motivated someone, hope you are enjoying the weekend like I am doing lol

Posted in Coaching and Therapy, My Heroines, Spiritual Journey

Cycling all the way to the finish line…it was worth it…thank you God, thank you Universe


img-20180506-wa00021795426367.jpg
Picture taken 06.05.18 Healing eye was still taking its time too lol

God is God, God is not Man…He has done it again in my life period.

Watch this 18 seconds celebratory clip lol

It has been with tremendous honour and humility that I cycled on, braving it uphill amidst sometimes intense emotional, mental and physical challenges, some from quarters hard to imagine; while also at other times, sometimes steadying my balance as I sloped downhill especially towards the end of each stage of the journey started last March 01 2018.

Spiritual Journey Notebook
These notes may make another memoir someday right?

Can we say this was a spiritual journey or what? It can’t be explained to anyone’s satisfaction – I just came to conclude; I can only share some to hopefully inspire and motivate so that anyone set out on any dear project of theirs, especially one of a ‘spiritual cum purification’ nature, will brave on and hang on … yes it was worth it. Let me try to sum it more…

So, this was a four stage spiritual journey dictated to me by my inner voice (call this crazy am ok with that – I do work in a psy ward anyway); and you could refresh on my preparedness for each stage by clicking 1, 2, 3, or 4.

I got to find out the names of the stages and the reason for their breakdown into 7, 14, 21 and 28 days on the first day of the 4th stage last April 23rd (this happened to be the anniversary of my beloved Grandma’s passing and I was real emotional). So, the stages were dictated to me to be:

Stage 1: Stage of New Beginnings (7 days were sufficient for me to see how new it would be if I persisted)

Stage 2: Stage of Determination (14 days was ample time to get real and hang on)

Stage 3: Stage of Discipline and Dedication (This was the make or mare stage and only perseverance for 21 days could take me on)

Stage 4: Stage of Grace (28 days to feel the Grace to my core amidst all what can go wrong and right full cycle)

Come on someone say wow, this happened and happens to me… am so in tune with my spirit and my world inside out, my prayers have been answered, I guess this is the price I was thinking I am very well prepared to pay, to benefit from and deserve to keep benefiting from all these gifts and responsibility and the accompanying Graces…I am so proud of me, I am my own heroine…dare to be yours for you sure can…

I will be writing more in the days ahead, today I am simply in awe of my tenacity and resilience; including the 3 days break in between stages; I fasted and watched myself like a hawk for 79 days…

img-20180503-wa0002741862747.jpg
Eating some day with near fire and fury after I broke my fast – captured by Alain lol

I’ve got to learn to eat and do other stuffs again lol, but I don’t miss not shouting, getting angry and having attack thoughts…serenity and discernment are really my daily portions now… Aw I love this new me and am so proud of her…she is indeed a brave lady and will live her purpose in all faith…she self-evaluates herself at 85% and this is an A PERIOD!!!

For tonight, let me go and celebrate with my muskeets at this new Ice cream house (opened in January but we had to have a big reason to go check it out lol – with us it’s always about making memories out of moments) in our neighbourhood. We had decided in our last family meeting to draw a budget and save to go check it out when I crossed the finish line of my official spiritual cum purification journey.

I know it is a life time journey, and am ok with this… I am well passed lesson 100 of the student manual in A Course in Miracles, and taking it in strides with the other sections of the book. One day I may write about my journey studying and practicing all am learning in there…

A very soulful expression of deepest gratitude to all those who encouraged and motivated me with encouragements or otherwise. You may have been very few, but quality has always mattered to me over quantity.

I just got struck by Marianne Williamson’s quote on our deepest fear yesterday and I find it so apt to summarize this journey I so bravely undertook.

Some reached out to me, seemingly concerned about the length of the fast and the physical effect especially with an inflamed eye quickly confirmed by them to be a result of the food deprivation – come on, food was the least I was working on or fasting from. Others were scared I had joined a sect or was visibly mentally ill/challenged and should seek professional help – I think my Age and tenacity saved me. I was left in awe and near mute where all this fear came from, why some could be seeming led by fear to the edge of outright panic attacks? So what is this deep fear?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Be inspired and motivated everyone, have a great weekend

Posted in Book Reviews

Book Review: Grace Revealed by Greg Archer


Grace Revealed
Enter a caption

Grace-Full Revelations Indeed

When I was led to ordering a copy of this memoir by a friend (Dyane Leshin-Harwood over at proudly bipolar) , I couldn’t immediately reconcile the cover image to the title. Why is half of the face red although with sketches of flowers in gold on some spots? That is the graphic interpretation I gave to this thrilling memoir from the moment I started turning its pages. And this cover page actually guided my reading and understanding. A Simple but loving family existence catapulted by Stalin’s manic and cruel explosion, forced into a gruesome existence and ironically saved ‘indirectly’ by Hilter’s own manic and cruel exploits. The Grace that leads them from there via Iran to Africa and finally the US, the Grace that sees them settled but for ever unsettled. Everything changes but none dares to look at that squarely nor talk about it because the crucial thing all along has been surviving not speculating on why, what or even what if. The utmost Grace which through a series of signs, twists and turns leads author Greg Archer to though slightly hesitantingly, go searching for stories and answers even in the graveyard. To me it’s simply Amazing Grace. To live through that, get through that and stay sane through that is what makes this memoir captivating. The notion of predisposition to mental challenges is equally ilustrated herein, and I also find that appealing just as I do the historical narrations and revelations. Sometimes, after such traumatic experiences, there is need to deal and heal no matter how painful. That is therapeutic in the end and yes I admit Grace is needed to get there. It is for these reasons that I give this memoir a 5 whooping star and gracefully recommend it to all.

P.S This is one of those books I read and wished I didn’t. Thank God for Greg’s writting style which made more paletable if I could use this term. I read it in December but wasn’t up to doing a review just yet. I mean I don’t think I’ll ever have the grace or nuts to review the books I read on Hitler or the Holocaust

About the Author

Greg Archer_ Greg Archer is an award-winning journalist, humorist and cultural moderator. His journalism and man-on-the-street coverage of agents of change, arts, culture, travel and the entertainment industry appear regularly in The Huffington Post, San Francisco Examiner, Jetset Extra and on his popular YouTube portal. He has been a contributor to Oprah Magazine, The Advocate, VIA Magazine, Palm Springs Life, Bust, Prevention, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Monterey Herald and other publications and media outlets.

In his latest book, Grace Revealed: A Memoir, the author takes a step back from Hollywood to explore his Polish family’s past. In the process, he exposes one of the most under-reported events of the 20th Century: Joseph Stalin’s mass deportation of nearly 1 million Polish citizens to the Siberian gulags in the 1940s and the life-and-death events that followed. But the author’s quest takes a dramatic turn. As he walks an emotional tightrope between the past and the present, can a serendipitous overseas adventure become a saving grace, heal the ancestral soul and bring justice to his family and their forgotten Polish comrades?

“A powerful, haunting and heartfelt tale about one man’s attempt to embrace his Polish family’s past, shed light on the forgotten deported Poles of the 1940s, and expose the emotional ripple effects that remain. A story that resonates with all.” –Kristen Houghton / The Huffington Post and bestselling author of “For I Have Sinned” and “And Then I’ll Be Happy.”

In 2010, after writing about body image and eating disorders for Oprah Magazine, Greg Archer co-wrote and edited the popular health and wellness book “Shut Up, Skinny Bitches!”

Visit http://www.gregarcher.com

Posted in From Around!

Weekly choice, by peers


We can each chose how we appreciate this and so I leave it to you!

Yet I wouldn’t be sharing this if I didn’t agree to a very large extend with what My friend Cohen is saying!

Do read on and please leave a comment…

TRISPECTIVISM

Self-Victimizing Again?

“Whether it is your weight, your emotions, your spouse, your children, your paycheck–if you continually find yourself feeling angry, resentful or upset by the events in your life, reflect on who you blame for life’s ups and downs. (…)How a person internalizes a particular point of view about control speaks volumes about their ability to live with a sense of wellbeing and contentment. If your philosophy about control is outside of your conscious awareness then you are essentially a slave to it, repeating the same negative dynamics again and again, all the while feeling at the mercy of circumstance. Over time, repeatedly reenacting the same problematic patterns of behavior causes a self-fulfilling prophesy to manifest. A person comes to believe that they truly cannot impact their own future; thereby sealing their fate as nothing more than a cog in a wheel that goes nowhere.”

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201312/self-victimizing-again

.

The…

View original post 630 more words

Posted in About, Famous Quotations and teachings

Persistence!


I go by the 3 D’s of Determination – Discipline – Dedication and I just came across a post which has one word to sum it all and that is Persistence.
I am determined so I persist, I am disciplined and so I persist, I am dedicated meaning I persist, and we could look at it the other way round.
It is for these reasons that I couldn’t but reblog such an inspiring post most timely for the season and for our new year resolution.
Read on, comment and share…

bardoinbetween

“We are so prepared to surrender, to give up our own power. We have no idea how powerful we are. No sense of it. We’re endowed with an incredible mind, incredible potential, incredible strength, incredible determination. And we’re ready to give it up. There’s no other animal on the face of the earth that seems so willing to give up. Other animals will scuffle until they take care of the barrier or they’re crushed in the attempt.

“It’s that kind of determination that we need to settle the most difficult things we carry around with us. It’s no small thing, the things that we deal with–our demons, our barriers, our hesitancies, our fears, and our anger. Nobody is going to do it for us; nobody is capable of doing it for us. We must, of necessity, accomplish the barriers ourselves. When you really push “I can’t let go” to the…

View original post 486 more words