Tag Archives: poem

My Path


I was seriously walking on my path on day 6 of my purification journey, when Aime my love surprised me with the above snaps as she came back from seeing her son off to school. I had been thinking of the words to a poem titled My Path, and so think these fotos make a good match lol

My Path

I dabbled and dabbled to Stand

Then started of

Crawling and Crawling

Before Walking and Walking

trying finding and finding

my own path

and not the path

traced for me by anyone but God

and when I started seeing and seeing

not with my eyes but with my soul

I saw a path different from theirs

whose vision near blurred my sight

what a head and heartache to have

trying to stay focused

and not ruin any chances

explaining without expecting

why a rugged not a tarred path

because that’s just the way of life

I am forever grateful and graceful

for all the awesome angels

I have met on my path

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When you say…I will say…


When you say I don’t know me anymore, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say my mind is murky, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say you can’t take it no more, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say you had a miscarriage, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say you just buried a child, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say those kids drive me nuts, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say I am having a divorce, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say I left and lost everything, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say I was abused and raped, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say I want my life back, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say I really need help, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say am making progress, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say thank you we did it, I will say thank you too we really did…

P.s: Excitedly looking forward to starting a new chapter of my life as a professional life coach and CBT therapist. One of coaches told me I had an impressive toolbox of personal experiences. I sure do and am grateful for those… I say the serenity prayer now more than ever…I see where all this is heading to…My long term goal with all this is to open ‘Marie’s Healing Home for inner peace’

Walking My Fine Thin Rope with Grace


Thin rope walker

Oh – Hail me silently

Lest your murmurs, distract from my goal

That of walking with balance

The fine thin rope of my life

I jigsaw emotionally and mentally

Before stepping on my fine thin rope

Victory is not my ambition

Loving each parent is my heart’s desire

And my siblings of course

As for my sons

I let them know with their rising suns

That my lot in life has been thick and thin

Fine, not so Fine and Finer

It takes a lot of practice and peserverance

Sizing up and sizing down

Giving and receiving 

to and from all including

From fellow fine thin rope walkers

Fortunately my boots are freely given

The Master himself ordaineth

Awareness and forgiveness and Grace

Of course some self love in abundance

And for the world out of his bountiful barn

All that helps my indefinite walk

On this fine thin rope of my life

With Gratitude and Grace

 

p.s: Concluding one of my most meh cum yum yum weeks so far lol. I have yawned this week more than in the last months of 2017 I must confess. Currently yawning even

Have an awesome weekend everyone, looking forward to spending saturday with my first grandson (can you believe that) 

 and then some awesome awards are on the way – all so awesome yeah!!!

Insomnia I’ll wait you out


I am so happy to receive this today of all days

Dear Insomnia

You may seem to record a small victory today

Am up since 10:53 having slept dutifuly by 9.15 pm

I don’t know for how long we’ll stay awake today

Yesterday we admired each other for 3 hours 

Then I got a 5th hour of sleep

I near blew my trumpet then

Not knowing you were taking note

Changing strategy and re-strategizing

Increasing the AC temp until I can’t

I have to decamp to a lonely corner

Nah you wouldn’t let me be

Repeat of August 2014

When my darling Gaby went on

This time I know better

I wouldn’t only spy on you like a hawk

I will wait you out with camomile

First thing tomorrow morning 

I get myself that and more

You aint having any final word

See what I got from Diane in the picture?

But ugly and mean you

With nothing to offer but mind muggles

Plus body bashing head, eyes, back

I give you three more days

To try your best and leave

Because dear Insomnia

I am ready to wait you out

Spying On each other like hawks


We spy on each other like hawks

Preying and praying to make the first catch

We circle around each other’s psychic

We seem to know each other intimate

I need her up with me he goes

I need him down with me I go

From 11:11 last night to 1:48 tonight

The involuntary vigil start hours have improved

From a mere 2 hours of sleep last night

To a big 4 hours of sleep this night

That’s some progress worth logging

Hope the mono-vigil don’t last so long

Got to wake at 4 for meditation

Not that am asleep as I write

For he nags me to write for some respite

Don’t want to be friends with him for real

Even if the dang AC is on for a change

I don’t do well with that either

May as well go fix me some hot cocoa

I’ll be back to keep watch

We’ll spy on each other like hawks 

Any time anywhere

This too are born of some

Not funny dynamics & gymnastics

Preying and praying to make the first catch

P.s: from a very terrified me last night to a serene me this night. I watch this seemingly natural occurrence, where in the midst of change of routine, grief and some more, sleep is affected and it’s ok to watch the process. Maybe taming it with some hot cocoa and writing can help for real.

Dynamics & Gymnastics


To be forewarned is to be forearmed!!!

Dear old or new friend

I need to let you in

To the dynamics & gymnastics

That troll your friend

And can make/mar her life

To be forewarned is to be forearmed!!!

Dear old or new friend

The dynamics & gymnastics

Are from external & internal

Forces I can & can’t control

Maybe you heard about dem words

Used in physics or logic

Schools or sports

Think of a body & mind 

In their place

Then imagine how they go

Dynamics & gymnastics

This way & that way

Peace & please

Act up or shut up

To be forewarned is to be forearmed


P.s: poem written at 1.20 am – been thrashing aroumd simce 11:11 pm. Ome of those nights where dynamics & gymnastics are in place. Trolling me around. But am braving this because I have braved some before. I can at least identify some issues and will see my therapist during the day before I go to mum’s ahead of granny’s fumeral.

Scheduling this poem just because the respite I think is in the writing it and not the clicking publish

Wishing us all the best 

Please let me be (Ushering in the New Year with a call for inclusion and empathy )


Please let me be

for the world

Please let me be queer

let me be queer it’s my life

be all the regular I don’t care

Please let me be a misfit

I am done trying to fit

You can do all the fit in I don’t care

I come from a broken home

I now lead a broken home

keep your fixed home

He cries mama

she teased my papa is gay

And so what I ask?

gay means happy

why be any judge?

and then go to church?

sing unconditional love

and love so conditionally?

They call me a rascal because I love pascal

he is such a friend

we trust each other so

sinners you say?

who did HE come for?

Winners they who followed HIM

Shabby may be the dress code

merry the constant mode

you can care for your body

I’ll care for my mind

I envy you not

spare your nod

Please let me be

(c) 2017 Marie Abanga

Twinkes not Wrinkles 


Twinkles not wrinkles

Those I want for the season

The reason but no treason

~~~
Twinkles not wrinkles

They come naturally

Please let them be

~~~
Twinkles not wrinkles

In my eyes not on my brow

That’s all by Grace

~~~
Twinkles not wrinkles

You want those too?

If yes, you welcome

If no, I know you nought.

Up and about this Saturday for some respite

P.s: Wishing us all the best for the season, new year ahead and life in general

Healing and Living


for my friend & I

To Heal we have to Live

To Live we have to Heal

Never heard of a dead Healing

Nor a Living not craving Healing

Healing is often letting go

Letting go of expectations

Letting go of painful emotions

Letting go of tough feelings

Letting go of unmet desires

Living is loving your life

Living is wanting to be

Living is embracing the now

Living is gratitude for the gift

Living is doing your best 

To Live therefore, we have to Heal

If we don’t Heal, we can’t be us

If we don’t Heal, we can’t embrace the now

If we don’t Heal, we can’t be grateful for the gift

If we don’t Heal, we can’t do our best

With Love and Forgiveness 

Faith and Hope

We can find inner Peace

We can Heal and Live

We can Live and Heal

***

P.S: A friend and I are going through a process, let’s call it a healing and living process. I got inspired this morning to write this down. Hope it helps someone out there

I am done with all this rubbish


I am done with all this rubbish

So much rubbish to make me mad

Life seems so shallow

Screaming is all hollow

No one seems to care

Or is it we dare less?

The bills keep pilling

All keeps uphill

More dose & overdose

They exit this rubbish life

None seems to have any time

Even a dime is hard to get

Who is to blame?

Parents name governments

Governments name establishments

Children blame parents

It’s all so fake

Smells like stale cake

The circle and circus share same house

The mouse is just as mad

Get your ass off my couch

Pull it all together man

If you need another pill

Insurance will cover the bill

Yikes and yish am really tired

What kind of world is this?

We wait for graves to know

That needless was the race

In the now we fight

Showing off our might

What has love got to do?

No cares, maybe some do

We ain’t crazy its dem

Did I show u any diagnosis?

Rubbish rubbish rubbish
P.s: Stuck in traffic, taking out my anxiety and mild frustration at the traffic and more via these lines