Tag Archives: Poems

I will not choose


Let it be clear once and for all

I will not choose between you

I owe my existence to you both

~~~

I am a by product of all I learned

Directly or indirectly you both taught

Directly or indirectly I got it straight

Why now do you think I should choose?

~~~

I am sorry for your grievances

Maybe you’re not able to let go

All the scripts and expectations

I have come to shred and have none

~~~

I prescribe myself just one thing

To love each of you just as you are

To love whichever ways works per situation

I also appreciate silent love

When unspoken words and actions say and prove it all

~~~

Thank you both for loving me silently, just as I am

I have mastered the lessons, and give some to others

But now I must confess: consider it a final word

I will not choose

……….

P.s: For closure after an awesome 3 good days with my dad. Be inspired other Children of Divorce in the house. I was never implicitly asked to choose, but grew up with that feeling. So, if you must choose, as it could come to be, follow your conscience and be not swayed by emotions and hearsay. I hope my boys who had bravely not chosen even where I was so far away, will not someday have to choose between their dad and I. I do all I can to leave communication lines open while taming my ego.

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My Son’s book review of A Searching Soul by Marie Abanga (Me)


Alain's review SS

Kindle Cover

This is the first review of my poetry book which is on the amazon at the very afordable price of 0.89$ for kindle and 5 $ for paperback.

Thank you so much my e family and big shout out to all the authors in the house especially Pamela Spiro Wagner whose poetry reading I just so love, and  Dyane Leshin-Harwood whose epic memoir will be released very soon.

This little light of mine…


Hello world, am in a cab on my way home from a stressful but very productive and graceful day. Although currently stuck in traffic, I can appreciate the serenity and inspiration to write the following lines which could sing for the song from which the title of my poem is taken:

This little light of mine, am gonna let it shine…

This little love of mine, am gonna let it flow…

This little life of mine, am gonna live it full …

Let it shine, let it flow, live it full…

This little laugh of mine, am gonna laugh it loud…

This little smile of mine, am gonna smile it broad…

This little frown of mine, am gonna frown it all

Laugh it loud, smile it broad, frown it all…

This little dream of mine, am gonna dream it real…

This little tale of mine, am gonna tell it all…

This little cheer of mime, am gonna share it all…

Dream it real, tell it all, share it all…

And when all is said, am gonna say it still…

And when all is done, am gonna do it still…

And when all is lost. Am gonna find it still…

Say it still, do it still, find it still…

And when my light goes dim, am gonna grateful go…

And when my turn is up, am gonna graceful go…

And when my life is nought, am gonna let it go…

Let it go, let it go, let it go

P.S, still stuck in traffic. Not even midway gone but am fine reading my kindle shortly. Have a nice weekend, am off for one tomorrow too

My Gift to all: My Poetry Collection


Kindle Cover

Hello World, today is friday and I wish I were going away from the weekend. But hmm, saturday I accompany my dearest Donna at her Dad’s Memorial Service, and Sunday is my first mega event launching my company. As much as I had had three years and more to prepare this journey, write up a business plan and draw it all up in my head, stepping on that bridge now is sort of daunting though appealing at the same time; I am actually partnering to do this and well the organization and capital raising part of it and all … wow even the lawyer in me is …

You should know some stuffs about life and its people – how some of those who were so glad and full of praise when you helped them with their own business, don’t even as much as bother cheering you emotionally and actually want nothing to do with your own business … how some can actually sabotage with some sarcasm and …

Let me leave it at this, the poetry book is free for 5 days and thereafter the kindle is at 0.99 c

You know, I am not bothered by naysayers, I am grateful for life and all the opportunities to learn, grow and love…

I leave you this weekend with a few pictures which have made me chuckle, nostalgic and grateful for life … all my pictures right?

Happy weekend and take care of your mental health dear gentle readers and followers, Thank you

A Searching Soul: Free for Five Days


 

 

 

Hello world, today I want to inform you of my poetry book available in paperback and kindle on the amazon. I wanted to put it for free on kindle but they said the least price the’d accept was 0.99$. I proceeded to do a free book promotion for the kindle to run from the 26th to the 30th of May (five days is the top for free promotion allowed). Get the paperback for souvenir if you want (5$ once more minimum was 4.98$ strange) and I could send an e-autograph you know – So, here below is a foreword from my Dearest Donna:

Sometimes to express inner stirrings, hearts upheavals and clarify experience, words pour themselves through poets. This may sound mystical and magical to anyone who is not an artist. For me, it’s a simple description of what I experience to birth a poem. In the parcel of words that is a Searching Soul, Marie expresses her inner stirrings and heart’s experiences. She may also have experienced words pouring through her. Her lines carry the signature of her mostly contemplative and even sad moods… I asked Marie and hope she also does a collection of poems that shows off the lighter and joyous moments. Life gives us precious gifts through all experiences be they light or heavy. Some of A Searching Soul resonate with me, perhaps because some parts of Marie’s journey reflects mine. Like Marie I have loved, lost and recorded some of my inner and outer journeys… Marie tells me that she finds some poets’ poems soothing and hopes her own can bring solace to other. They would. To wrap up this parcel of words, I happily include lines that jumped out on the first reading of a Searching Soul.

Hearts longings, be fulfilled

Lofty winged wishes be granted

Body hungers be quenched

Those who serve, lead

Those who truly give receive

The mightily scarred transform to gifted healers

With a flutter of heavenly breeze

Are we not all parts of Marie?

Marie is you, is me – an invitation to dive deep, to seek …

A searching soul, you may find

The object of your longing, the door to your dreaming

Dona Forbin,

Poetess & Storyteller

Author

And here is what I wrote the collection is all about:

A searching soul is basically a collection of my poetry which share my soul’s search for enlightenment. Peace I seek, peace I find, Peace I give through my poems; be it in moments of sadness, depression, and anticipation, I have come to realize the inspiration flowing in me to put together these poems ever so often ends on a positive note no matter how faint. I have come across some soul mates in my soul search, and they have generously shared a poem or two of theirs. I write of my Rosy Garden with its thorns, of the Bad Boys in my Life, of my Super Super Hoero and of so much more… I sincerely think I Know where you come from even though Sometimes I just don’t wanna care… Such are contemplations… Such are some of the poems contained in this poetry collection…

 

Imperative Scarifices (Launching Mental Health Awareness Month)


2017 MHM Horizontal Banner Image

Never been a coming without a going

A taking without a given

I may be losing touch

Seeing too much reality

———-

More of as I see

You have to sacrifice 

Even manna was prayed for

No good ain’t easy

—————-

You got to watch a lot

Watch what you eat

Watch what you drink

Watch what you smoke

Watch what you do

——————-

And then the people

You got to sacrifice some

Who you know

Who you don’t

Who you look up to

Who you look not to

———————-

If inspite you still crazy go

You got to try

Try to take dem meds

Try to do some sports

Try to sleep a sound

Try to try therapy

Try to eat right

Try to not give up

—————–

Cause in life as I see

Much depends on us 

Us before them

It may seem impossible

But with sacrifice

The ill can be buried

Imperative sacrifice

Mental health is Mental Wealth, lend a helping hand or listening ear: Stop the Stigma

D FOR DONA


What comes to mind

When you think of

The letter D:

I Dare you; I Damn you; or

You are a Darling

A Dear one

……………

In the silence of my heart

I contemplated her

I wonder why

I felt the urge to reach out

That fear of rejection

Simply went backstage

……….

A silent prayer

I said a fold over

May she have a flower in her hair

May her voice be melodious

May her gaze be peaceful

May her touch be soft

…..

And that’s what I think of

When I write the letter D

That cheer which keeps you on

That poem which makes you dream

The gist which keeps you merry

Even her swag makes you hopeful

And the mild fierceness so sweet

And when her self I did behold

I knew through and through

That I hadn’t been dreaming

Not in vain were my musings

D stands for Darling 

It stands for Dona

In the alphabet of my soul

Where am free to define my letters

And This is Why…


And this is why

Why I do what I do

Why I say what I say

Why I dance as I do

Why I cry so sad

—-

And indeed this is why

Why I share it all

Why I love so bad

Why I hurt so deep

Why I heal so slow

And yes this is why

Why I long to help

Why I want to bare

Why I need to show

Why I can relate with that flow

To thyself be true

Leave me to my guise and grace

That may help another soul

Part of the master plan

By faith and not fear

It ain’t easy but it’s mine

Why I am the way I am

And that is why

Why I’ll keep being me

Why I’ll go on bare

Why I’ll speak it loud

Why I’ll write as it flows

Can you sense it ??


sense-it

Can you see the mirage in my mind

Can you see the hole in my heart

Can you see the search in my soul

Can you see the helpless thought

Can you feel the hurt there is

Can you feel the pain in it

Can you fee the drudge and drought

Can you feel the storms within

Can you touch the cancer cell

Can you touch the insane mind

Can you touch the heart beat

Can you touch the scars on the soul

Can you smell the peace I seek

Can you smell the love I have

Can you smell the smile in me

Can you smell the strides I make

Can you hear the voice within

Can you hear the silent screams

Can you hear the songs they hum

Can you hear the drums not beat

Can you sense any of it

Can you sense all of it

Can you sense even a mite

If not what can you sense ???

Questions for an Author: June Whittle author of Deep Within My Soul…


ask-the-author-answers-edition

Hello World, this is the first of what I hope to often do: Profile & Interview and help promote New memoir authors! Why Memoirs? Because that’s the genre I write and it’s still a ‘shy’ genre especially, in my corner of the globe – Africa. My first author to be interviewed and profiled happens to be a dear friend and sister in Christ. I fell in love with the first of her blog posts I stumbled across – yes on the very night I was fumbling around trying to start my own blog! Her post titled «Am I a blogger or a … almost made me give up before I even started; and to think she’d been into blogging a good while? But then, that post ended on a note of so much hope – yes she was – yes I could become one too if I wanted and kept at it with faith.

This is what I have also gathered from reading her maiden but oh so soul searching memoir: shared from deep within her soul and titled just that. Without much ado, I’ll interview her for your reading pleasure and let her tell us more about herself and her journey to become this published author today. It ain’t easy I can tell, been there and still go through there, but she will agree it’s worth ever step of the journey…

Note: The post is way longer than my usual posts, I didn’t want to leave any area out and didn’t want to do a P1 & P2… I think whoever reads through the end will love it. 

june-whittle
Deep within her eyes… can we see?

1) The Profile

  1. Let’s Start with a brief introduction of yourself – your background – and a tiny bit about your Childhood:
  • My name is June Whittle. I was born in Jamaica and relocated to the UK to join my parents when I was a teenager. It was tough leaving my grandmother (who raised me) and my sisters behind. I had to readjust to the climate – it was very cold – and the way of life. The culture in Jamaica was very different to that in the UK. Jamaicans are bubbly, carefree, happy-go-lucky people. I was used to sunshine, loud car horns, a variety of colours, fresh home grown food and other cultural activities. The day I arrived in the UK, it was grey, quiet and everyone looked moody. I was sad.

Anyway, I continued with my education in the UK, started relationships, (some were abusive) worked in various fields and gave birth to my daughters. I became a mature student in 2007 and went to university to complete a PGCE teacher training course to become a teacher. Afterwards, I taught in further education colleges and met some wonderful people along the way. In 2012 God told me to quit my teaching job and write books. I gave up teaching in 2013, stepped out in faith and started a freelance writing career.

  1. About your Memoir, how did you come up with the title?
  • Well, I knew I wanted to write about my life, but coming up with a title was hard. Then one day “Deep Within my Soul” popped into my head. I knew straight away it was the right title for my book. You could call it divine inspiration.

2) The Soul Journey

  1. I heard Oprah Winfrey say Love doesn’t hurt; what’s your take on that?
  • Love is a beautiful thing. It’s not meant to hurt, but it does hurt if you end up with the wrong person. I believe it depends on what we mean by love. Although my partners and I thought we loved each other, it was a dysfunctional kind of love because we didn’t love ourselves. Therefore, our love wasn’t whole. It’s hard to give 100% of what you haven’t got. So, instead of the joys of love, I mostly experienced the pains of love.

  1. Did the love in your relationships hurt from the start or something happened down the road?
  • In the beginning, it was absolutely wonderful. When you first meet a man or woman you go through the honeymoon period where everything is beautiful. During that period, they can’t do anything wrong. In other words, you don’t see their faults because you’re on cloud nine and consumed by the love feelings. That’s how it was for me too. But, after a few months (when the honeymoon period wears off) he started to look at other women and became obsessed with them. That’s when he started cheating and our relationship changed. From then on problems crept in.

  1. Can you tell who was to blame and what you felt about all this then?
  • I think he was to blame for the fact that he couldn’t keep himself away from other women. But I also blame myself because I was shy, naïve, insecure and didn’t know how to satisfy him. Looking back now, I see myself as very immature and I didn’t know anything about relationships. However, some people might say that’s no excuse for him to cheat on me. He took it far, and chatted up my friends in front of me. This led to verbal and physical abuse, plus lack of trust and many heartaches.

  1. I read a lot of poems about Love in your memoir, and yet you were going through so much pain! So how did you find it writing about love while living pain?
  • Although I was hurting, the only way for me to find peace in my heart was to write about the love I yearned for. I wrote a lot of poems about my broken heart. Those poems came from deep within my soul. I suppose I was trying to touch their hearts with my words, although I didn’t show them the poems. It’s like I was living in a make-belief world. I knew what I wanted, I couldn’t get it so, I created my own world where I was safe to write what I wanted. Writing poems kept me sane. It was my lifeline as I poured out my painful feelings on the pages in my notepad.

  1. Do you think there is an ideal time frame to wait before moving from one abusive relationship into another relationship we hope not to turn out as sour?
  • It’s extremely important to heal from an abusive relationship before going into another relationship. Otherwise, you will carry the toxic junk with you. The toxic junk is a combination of anger, bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness and sometimes hate. When you carry those negative things in your heart, sooner or later they will surface and mess up your new relationship.

Imagine buying an old car that hasn’t been serviced or taken care of. It’s got lots of faults but you can’t see them. Eventually, the car will start to give you problems. On the other hand, if you buy a well looked after serviced car, it’s less likely to break down on you. Plus, you will get a smooth drive and it will last you longer than the one that wasn’t maintained properly. Likewise, not servicing your heart, mind and soul after an abusive relationship will have disastrous consequences on a new relationship.

  1. What’s forgiveness got to do with healing?
  • Forgiveness and healing go hand-in-hand. It’s difficult to heal properly if you hold unforgiveness in your heart. Unforgiveness is like a chain around your heart. It squeezes it tight and tighter till it drains your emotional and physical energy. As long as it’s living in you, real healing cannot take place. This includes healing of sicknesses as well as your mind.

A friend did a project with some primary school children recently about forgiveness. She gave them a heavy rucksack each, to carry on their backs. Some said they didn’t mind as the rucksacks were quite light. However, after carrying them on their backs for a while, they became heavy and weighted the children down, causing them to feel uncomfortable and unable to walk properly. That’s what unforgiveness does. It drags you down and affects all areas of your life. Nonetheless, when you forgive, you let go of all toxins and your body will feel light and live again. Painful memories may linger, but will no longer be a problem. That’s when you know that healing has taken place.

3) The Writing

  1. Did any books/memoirs influence your writing (style, presentation, content)?
  • No. Although this is my first memoir, I didn’t base it on style, presentation or content of other writers. This is mostly because mine has poems so it’s different to other memoirs I read. I went with my gut feelings when writing. But, formatted it correctly to meet the requirements for uploading to Kindle for the eBook, and Create Space for the paperback. I followed their guidelines.

  1. Did you have a writing mentor?
  • No, I’ve never had a writing mentor. I took two creative writing courses, many years ago and a copywriting course in 2012. That helped develop my writing skills, along with reading books about writing.

  1. Which was the most difficult chapter to write in your memoir and why?
  • It was the first chapter where I summarized a little about my story. While writing, old painful memories came back and made me tearful and sad. I also felt negative emotions such as anger, resentment and unforgiveness. I was surprised because I thought I had dealt with those emotions. Clearly, they were still alive in my heart. I wrote about it in chapter 11 – “Finding Hope, my Testimony of Healing”. It’s amazing how we can fool ourselves into thinking we’ve done something, when we haven’t.

  1. How did you deal with that?
  • Well, first I talked to God about it and asked Him to take away those feelings. I felt better afterwards. However, I still had more work to do in that area. So, I repented and prayed from my heart to forgive my abusers for deep healing to take place.

  1. Which was your favourite poem and why?
  • It’s False Love. It was one of the hardest poems to write because it was written out of an extremely painful experience. Nevertheless, it was my favourite because that poem started off my writing experiences. From that poem, other poems followed which helped the healing process of writing to release toxic emotions.

  1. I read two real life excerpts in your memoir, was this to add to the veracity of abuse as a phenomenon or to show the resilience of the human spirit?
  • Those real life excerpts were to demonstrate the power of forgiveness. The abuse these two women suffered were extreme, although diverse. The first example was a vicious form of domestic abuse. The second example was of a teenager being raped by her uncle plus other cruel types of abuse. However, both women decided to forgive their abusers for the sake of their mental health, peace in their lives and more.

  1. Did you learn anything from writing your memoir and what was it?
  • While writing, I did research about forgiveness and discovered there is a connection between unforgiveness and sickness such as cancer, arthritis, heart problems and other stress related illness. I also learnt that extra healing was taking place for me as I was writing my memoir. By the time I finished the last chapter, I felt free of any excess burdens that may have been clinging to my heart.

  1. How long did it take you to write and get the memoir published?
  • It took me nearly one year to write because I kept starting and stopping. I changed my mind a few times because I was nervous about telling my story to the world. But my daughters and close friends encouraged me to do it. Also, because God told me to write it in the first place, I didn’t want to disobey Him. The self-publishing process took me nearly a week. The technical formatting part of it was rather challenging.

4) The Message

  1. Do you have any advice for other memoir writers?
  • Yes, I think if your story can help others from the lessons you learnt, you should share it. Life is full of pitfalls, some good and some good. There are many lessons along the way. However, not everyone learns from their experiences. But those who learn have gold nuggets to share with others in the form of memoirs. If you can help even a handful of people struggling with the issues you came out of, it’s worth writing your stories. Your story can change another person’s life for the better. Another word of advice, make sure you have supportive people around you. It’s important to get as much encouragement as possible to boost your confidence while you write.

  1. Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?
  • I want to give you the information you need to add value to your lives. My blogs and memoir are not just about me. They are to inspire, encourage, educate and motivate you. I love when you contact me by email or leave comments on my blogs advising me what I can do for you in future blog posts. Or, how you take away something positive from my writing. This is always my aim. Feedback is extremely important to me. So, please, always tell me whether I’m providing value or not.

  1. Any other writing projects, blogging etc?
  • I plan to open up my two blogs, Miraculous Ladies and Arise Single Christian Mummies for guest blogging in 2017. It’s time I share my platforms with other aspiring or professional writers out there. I also intend to hold workshops related to my memoir. I included writing prompts in the last chapter. I want to take it further and hold small groups or one-to-one workshops to help women write away toxic emotions that’s keeping them captive. In addition, “Deep Within my Soul” is book one of a series of inspirational memoirs based on exclusive and beneficial relationship life-lessons.

  1. Where can your memoir be found?

Thank you very much for answering our questions June. We hope to stay informed of any updates with your projects.

Dear readers, please feel free to drop any questions/remarks/observations you may have in the comments section, thank you for reading along.