Tag Archives: Relationships

Sahadat my PA, all in one at the office and my Heroine


When you pray for something, you get it. That works for me – and I mean all the time – it may just not be on our time, or the way we want it, but it definitely shows up.

That is how Sahadat showed up nearly 2 years after I started praying for an all in one at the office. Sahadat or my miss as I fondly call her, is the type we call in french “la force tranquile” (the calm force). I don’t know how else to put it, nor show the universe how grateful I am to have Sahadat in my life.

I first met my miss ( She was a Miss for real at the University a few years back oh), when I lectured/facilitated a masters course called The Law of Enterprises in Difficulties. She caught my attention because she wasn’t the smiling type and hardly looked my way when she entered the class. She however never missed a class and answered any questions I asked her. Long story short, I got through her and she became a group leader of an all male team. On the day of their presentation, they all agreed she was a ‘no nonsense leader”. Their group was among the best needless to say.

Here is a line of what she wrote to me at the end of our course: “Thanks for all the beautiful remarks, you are the best female teacher ive ever had…”(unedited)

We kept in touch and one day I mentioned to my miss I was looking for an intern. She started out as one and had gradually morphed into my all in one at the office and my heroine.

The line is definitely blurred between us as in she is my staff, sister, baby miss, PA, and a generous aunty to the boys. Two days ago she was sick, I made her a hefty and healthy breakfast since we were to work from home, made her some ginger/turmeric tea and bullied her to eat. Later I saw she really needed more rest, and so I sent her back home. I asked her if she could have done same for me if I were sick (since she was first refusing my offer to nurse her some), she agreed, and so I asked her why I couldn’t do same for her without having to bully her. She told me in camouflaged words like my son Israel did, that my type of love ‘can suffocate’. We laughed over it, she ate her food and drank the warm healing tea, and then she was good to go back home.

Sahadat has some of my passwords, manages my calendar, is a quick learner and doer and much more.

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Working with me from home, my miss is all focused while I fidgit around lol

I am sincerely so grateful for Sahadat. I am no longer the only female in my team at the office lol.

Did I add how humble and grateful too she was? I wish all entrepreneurs a dynamic colleague like Sahadat and I hope we stay on for a while before a bigger and better offer comes her way lol

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Still I Smile


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Still I Smile

You can mock me all you want

Murmur my plans will fail

Foresee my projects are doomed

Whisper am a loser

but still I smile

You can pretend I am your friend

Talk behind my back all you can

Make excuses for avoiding my calls

Rejoice over my mistakes

for your hypocrisy still I smile

You can sit there and gossip

Spend your time visiting

Talking about who said and did what

while you grumble nothing is working

to that misery I smile

Don’t think you are the loser?

Are you serious you still can?

Do you think anybody really cares?

Why not say you can’t instead of the silence?

That’s why still I smile

I just get it – it’s not about me

You are whallowing in your own misery

self pity, doubt & loathing masqueraded

you point a finger and three point to you

Isn’t that worth smiling at?

You now can tell my smile

I smile at me, for me and with me

and it keeps me oh so young

ever fresh and genuine

no need for make up

I’ll keep my smile

Your friendship ain’t worth my mind

I’ll have my smile with each meal

and for each mistake I make

I’ll keep the take

And for that …

still I smile

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Trailer To My Thriller – Episode 2


What on earth could push or pull a woman and mother of three to abandon her marriage, elope with a street kid, leaving those three kids behind?

What on earth could push or pull a woman to live such parallel lives and fake such an existence whereas all the ‘glamour’ was just superficial?

What definitely went wrong in her childhood that could have contributed to the sad and dare say ‘insane’ series of unconventional loves and existence?

Well, this is what the novel is all about.

This novel is a brutally honest memoir of a woman’s struggle to live a ‘Meaningful and Happy Life’.

This novel is a sad tale of the depths a woman had to sink to before braving to a new life of ‘Meaning and Happiness’.

This is a story of Determination, Discipline and Dedication which takes its readers through a series of ‘sane and insane acts’ of a woman who lived in adultery over and over again, who lived parallel lives, and who when she missed the suicide attempt, realized it was time to be Honest with herself and her world.

Intermingled in the sub themes, is the unfolding of a mother’s dramatic and tough love for her daughter.

Some say the novel is encapsulating and captivating and others say it is inspirational and motivational.

The Author says, she thinks it is both. She wrote this personal ‘thriller’ of hers in all honesty because she wanted to make her Mess her Message and her Test her Testimony.

It probably would make an excellent read!

Stay tuned this week for a teaser from the most captivating chapter itself!

Show some love, share, comment and why not grab a copy!

Key Killer in my marriage …


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My Six year old Marriage died a heavy and painful death. I mean, with all what I did, hmm, its death was even shameful.

But Today, I want to share with you one of those ‘killers’ of my marriage and maybe it is acting somewhere right now too? 

You’re probably wondering what next right?  I do enjoy sharing my divorce related stuffs with you all and what happened in the most ‘darkest’ of avenues, and all!

Lack of Communication

A quick re-cap?

Hm, I got married for all the wrong reasons and love wasn’t one of them.  All I was looking for was a refuge!

He wasn’t kind to me but I too, did a lot of damage.  I was an adulterous wife,  a ‘shameful and disgraceful” trophy to own but one that needs to be spoken about.

Now to this post.

My ex-husband was an abusive man. He barely ‘discussed’ anything with me. We were not partners, best friends, lovers or anything. Oh no, we were like ‘Master and Servant’. He barked orders and instructions. He was not physically abusive but he was mentally.  He knew I loved conversations and he chose to withhold those from me.

When we were with friends or family, we would converse as a group and even with each other.  Yet, when it was just the two of us, there was no communication.  No discussion.  No conversation.

And so it was for the six years we were married – minimum conversations with my ex.

We started off by barely spending time alone either always on the go or there were other people around whenever he was home. Either side of the family often paid us announced or unannounced visits.  Friends, mostly his, did the same and often stayed on till I went to bed.

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I will never forget the day I gave birth to our second son and he came to see our baby more than six hours after I had called him to say I had given birth. When he finally turned up, he was with friends, which was fine, but when they finally decided to leave, my ex-husband said he was going to see them off and only returned around 11 pm. I was distraught. The next day, it was my cousin and my first son who came to pick me from the hospital.  We had to hire a cab because my ex had gone on a trip.

Anyway, by that time, I had made up my mind to leave the marriage and was just thinking of what to do with my sons.

Dear Gentle Followers of mine, you could read more on this post at the Noble Divorce Magazine and sure it would be a pleasure to read your comments or see you share the story…