Tag Archives: Self-Forgiveness

Yes, total Healing from an Abusive past is possible: It took me 7 years


Hello Word Press world, I hope everyone is off to a magic filled start of a new week.

I want to share a personal experience which helped me find total healing from an abusive marriage. I left my marriage in 2011, and when I ran into my ex husband last week, the 5 minutes we shared made me realize my total healing was finally here.

I mean, I have been working and looking so forward to it, I am so happy it happened this month which is the last month of a year full of so much Grace for me.

Below is what I shared on Facebook on that day (14.12.18):

“I just ran into my ex-husband like after more than a year. The last time (01.09.17) we saw each other was at the police station where he had taken me to for breaking his door. I recall breaking the glass on that door with a stick so I could collect my sons ahead of their back to school on 03.09.17. He was called and he came with two cops. The kids and I went there with himself and we spent 4 hours in a cell – they refused to leave me alone or go with him. We were release after I signed a to never go near his house again. We got home at midnight that day, it was super traumatic especially for them. And since then they haven’t seen him either. They refused to go spend summer holidays with neither him nor their paternal grandma, and I refused to force them. He accused me of manipulation. That was a déjà entendu for me. He threatened to ‘disown’ them, and the last I told him during that very heated phone call was that he wasn’t our God. And so, running into him here at Gicam Bonanjo a year and plus later, was cool. Cool because I was happy to see him looking so good. He had some big nerves stuff last year and both his mum and wife called me alarmed and asking me to pray for him. That I did. I don’t have any grudge against him, no energy to hate or whatsoever. I just wish him so much well. I greeted him so warm and asked how he was feeling. I equally asked if he thought of the children and he said yes. He seemed to want to chit chat more but I didn’t want to. Anyways, I am sharing this to encourage especially my fellow sisters going through any such similar, to let all that be. I mean even if you prefer the saying “let sleeping dogs lie” use it and release (find it in you to deal+heal) all that ‘crap’. I just wish we had even taken a selfie hahahaha”
#releasethehurts
#notoshame
#notostigma
#forgiveandmoveon
#IamMAGnectic

We each have our unique journeys, I just share mine to inspire+motivate by Amazing Grace.

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Release those bags: A picture which says it all…


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I truly wish it were not so easier said than done. I however think the emphasis is in striving to release them and not to look back. To care about our mental wellbeing and do something as soon as we can so the weight of those bags not ruin our bones. Of keeping faith in hope, of accepting our limitations mindful of the need to release all of them bags quick before we collapse. Of forgiving ourselves above all, and of releasing the bags as we can; as we move on…

Happy sunday to all, peace and love and healing all the way

I am a Transcontinental Mother…


BTS_Cover

I am a Transcontinental Mother
What do you think this is?
Who dares brand herself one?
Tell me how you go about this?
Can you suckle a baby as such?
Can you soothe some tears?
Tell me how you can clean a bruise?
Nor attend any events?
For goodness sake, what kind of specie is this?
I will dare console, mothering is one big feat
A feat with such guilt
Guilt at not being a mother
Guilt at becoming a mother
Guilt at not being a good mother
And yet, I have come to realize mothering with love, even from across the ocean, is possible
I admit I had to flee for a while to realize that
But in the meantime, I am giving transcontinental mothering my best shot
and oh how glad I am, that soon and very soon a transcontinental mother I’ll be no more!!!
P.S This poem is my heartfelt way of rounding up what I consider mother’s month. Mother’s day is celebrated on different dates accross the globe, and in my country Cameroon it’s on the last sunday of May. One of the chapters of my recently published memoirs, is on Finding Strength as a Transcontinental Mother. Happy Mother’s Day to all once more!!! I hope my three musketeers here below, come to one day truly empathize with their mummy! My first son graduated from Primary School yesterday and all I could do was cry tears of joy and sadness!!!
For them I thrive amidst my challenges
For them I thrive amidst my challenges
My own boy!
My own boy!