Tag Archives: Spankings

Painful flashbacks and handling the trauma/anxiety from a missing school bag


What can a missing school bag do to a 39 years old mother? Well, read on!

33 years ago, I received one of the beatings of my life, the type known as ‘I’ll skin you alive’. My crime and sin and all put together: I had misplaced my school bag (probably again if I can recall well)

33 years later, my son Gaby came back home last Wednesday without his school bag.

Once I was told, I gave myself timeout very fast because my head started to spin. I was so angry and frustrated at Gaby and my first impulse was to ‘skim him alive’. I was also angry at myself for thinking that, and for not being able to not pass on that ‘negligent and zam zam’ gene to Gaby.

I recalled the beating which drew blood and blisters and left me sore. My friends in the neighbourhood didn’t see me for some days, and I must have skipped school the next day not only because dad had to buy a new bag and books, but because I was bed ridden. I despised life and wished I could run away or disappear.

Those memories actually helped me decide not to ‘skin Gaby alive’, actually I didn’t even beat him. They know I hate beating them because it hurts and pains me double to beat them or anyone. I just think I had taken all the beatings for us all there ever could be.

And so, after my time out, I had a discussion with Gaby who has had some attention and other pranky attitudes this week. I just needed to know if the school bag could be found, as in any idea where he may have left it. (Two days prior, he had gotten home 2 good hours late because he stopped by a field to play football with friends on his way back, and lost all notion of time).

It turned out he forgot the bag at his aunty’s place which is midway between his school and home. I went there myself yesterday for the tripple reassurance that he had collected same that mornimg on his way to school. Some books are once again missing but that’s not as alarming as losing an entire school bag.

Ha, I also recall having to buy all his school needs on the eve of back to school because it was dropped on me just that eve, that was my p.o.s henceforth.

All is well that ends well, I beat no one and was able to stay calm and temper my upset. Am so grateful for my GA who helped me, for the other boys who stayed calm while David even went out that afternoon to go try to find it.

Peace

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