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Don’t Quit: Some Lessons from my Spiritual Journey


Hello world,

Wow I have come so far and have learnt so much. I am transformed inside out I mean I just wish I didn’t have to keep talking about it and just guard it all jealously in my heart and soul. The spiritual journey cum purification I undertook from March 1st to May 18th with a 9 days break spread out in 3 intervals of 3 days each, was indeed a once in a life’s time opportunity. I was prepared for it, deciding to go for it with the mantra of: “Forging ahead with Faith and Trust and not Fear and Doubt.

Quitting was not an option

It was never an option for me because I believed in my Higher Power who inspired me to undertake the journey in the first place. I have always been a seeker and love being spiritual. I was inspired to dedicate this year as my year of Grace, and since January it has been from one Amazing Grace to another. This explains to a large extent why despite all the emotional and even physical challenges throughout the journey especially during stage 4, I was prepared to pay the price as foretold.

Some Lessons learned

  1. Everything works out for the good of those who fear God. It did and does for me big time, I can’t ever doubt that one bit again. It took some serious self-discipline to fast from all I was fasting from, but I knew it’ll all work out. I am still in ‘recovery’ from all the fasting and even though some challenges still abound like with food (ha eating hurts some), I know it’ll all work out – even the shaky and shaggy relationships will sort themselves out either and in back to good or good to go;
  2. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I mean, whose strength could I be using other than Christ’s? A friend agreed with me I was connected to spiritual energy because I kept doing all I do without any siesta, and starting feeling weak only in the last week of stage 4;
  3. It’s ok to let it be in the process. I was fasting from anger, attack thoughts, and more. Some like my usual drive to have it all clean to the drop, justify myself or defend my stance, just had to be let off. They were replaced with empathy, compassion and even prayers for the other person. Hmm, I think of the me of barely 5 or so years ago and I look up and tell God, YOU ARE GOD INDEED;
  4. Fasting is the fastest way to lose weight but the most delicate. You must have faith in the process and be committed throughout to obtain maximum results. Although I didn’t fast to lose weight, losing weight was an inevitable result. I have lost 7 kgs and I weighed 70kgs just this morning. I would love to gradually scale up to 73/75 kgs my ideal, but am letting the process take its time. I fasted for 70 good days unsupervised, I just took my vitals every now and then and trusted my own inner compass. I did drink lots of water and home made smoothies, and eat as much as I could after 6 pm each day (don’t ask me how much was that – those who have fasted know how difficult it is to eat much when you break the fast)
  5. I had a healthy reading appetite all through and was even amazed at how much I sponged in. Books I read included An American Marriage (uh huh an Americana friend brought their copy and lent it to me, and by 48 hrs I was done), TigerFish, Born For Love, The Boy who was raised as a Dog,Keep Moving Forward: Memoirs of An Abandoned Child and His Triumph Over Abuse and ADHD, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count your Blessings, The Old man in the Hospital Room, 33 days to Finding your Soul Signature, 35 days redefining yourself for success, a poetry handbook by Mary Oliver, 2 Peace Pilgrim books, Fasting for health and Wellness, and I started Power Thoughts by Joyce Meyers. I was interviewed by VOA Africa, TV5 Monde and Stv on the foundation work and my advocacy in general. I also continued religiously with meditation, using James Allen’s writings, A Course In Miracles, A Mini Course for Life and Attitudes of Gratitude. For movies I watched The Shift, Earth: what on earth will it take to thrive, and Carving your Destiny. I can’t track documentaries and YouTube’s lol. One eye wonder woman I was indeed for all this journey save for the last week of stage 4. Indeed, my ego and body could do nothing but take a big bashful beating hahaha.

I wanted to share this because I think people need to know what the odds and possibilities are if they embark on a project dear to their soul with a ‘Don’t Quit’ Attitude. It could happen you have to re-strategize and draw back some, but go for it like Diana Nyad lol (argh I wish I could figure out how to get myself an autographed copy of her bestseller – maybe a kindle is the most I can get after all)

P.S: Am off for a well deserved weekend of some promising me moments amidst some therapy sessions by the mountain and the ocean, equally in celebration of a successful completion of my internship at the lone psychiatry ward as a psychotherapist.

Next week, I’ll take a week off from blogging to work on my website and other personal projects lol

Have a great weekend everyone and happy new month (wow half a year has officially rolled by)

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Steady for Stage 2 of my Purification/Spiritual Journey


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How much more serene, peaceful and happy will the next 14 days be? See you on the 15th day and thanks for all the wishes. I have faith in the fast, I treasure my treasure so much, and love the path I see in the horizon carefully charted just for me. The entire path may be daunting, the journey initially lonely, the steps shaky – but in God I Trust and believe in Angels…

My sons, my GA and some of you have been so supportive! I am so grateful and carry everyone in my thoughts…

I have given up a lot including my choice to be angry like when someone stepped on my toes at the market, I can’t even raise my voice again anyhow hahaha

I have lost some relationships already, some are now simply put most shallow. That’s the price you pay when you don’t know how to belong or care about what others say, think or do in reaction to your actions be they for personal growth…which they sadly see as selfish, weird or self-absorbed…hush lady enough now, there we go… What did you learn from the movie The Shift by Dr Dyer?

What do you Treasure: How and How much do you treasure it?


Last outing before fasting
Last outing on the eve of my spiritual journey

I remember writing a chapter titled Alain my Treasure in my very first memoir. This Alain in not Alain my son, He was a boyfriend. The relationship over, I moved on to find another treasure. I have dabbled to call two others my treasures again since then before the final enlightenment…

What am I trying to say, we all (at least majority), seek something to cherish here below, to consider our treasure. In yester years, I sought that in men and sex was a good – welcome part of the search. Oh how I blundered and sauntered – strolling miserably through life with no particular direction and near losing my mind…

Could I have so failed to think I could be my own treasure?

And so, when I came to find the one and only true love I could ever truly possess here below; the infinite source from which I could genuinely give to all others on my path; the love that had been buried deep within thanks to all the happenings of life regardless of their source, I couldn’t stop crying.

I AM MY TREASURE! MY SPIRIT, SOUL AND BODY ARE MY TREASURES!

And who am I? I already got the answer to this one, thank God – my source of all…

So, how do I take care of my treasure? In 5 lines shall I?

  1. I keep it healthy and happy; no junk food, thoughts, actions or reactions so help me God;
  2. I protect it from toxic relationships regardless of off or online, I have that power;
  3. I keep it clean and free from fear, worry, and all such in between;
  4. I nurture it each and every moment by appreciating it and sharing its shine for in giving we receive;
  5. I commit it to its great purpose as designed by the creator itself – by Grace I have found my path and purpose; even if I still have a long way to go; am in a much much better place and grateful for the purification journey just started.

And how much do I treasure myself, oh I am grateful to be alive – to not have left in 2009 when I picked up that knife– Thank you Lord

Dear all, in the above picture taken on the eve of my purification journey, I was on my way out to a birthday where I ate meat for hopefully my last time. I am a vegetarian now for health and spiritual reasons – and yes because that is good in safeguarding my treasure.

And so this morning for breakfast (day 1 of 3 days break) I fed my treasure the following: Small plate of mixed veggie salad, a bowl of soybean pap with some rice, ginger/turmeric tea with honey and a banana. I make much tea and keep in the flask to drink as needed during the day for my small cold lol

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May I therefore encourage you to find yours and take good care of same…

Fasting is not for the faint of faith in the fast


Day 3 of fasting
Am eating all of this during this 3 days break lol

Wow, 1st 3-days break and I am super excited. I will publish 5/6 posts during this break because yes, I missed writing out here – so bear with me gentle followers.

On a more serene note, the above picture was taken on day three of my fast, a Saturday, I was back from the biggest farmers’market in Central Africa – found thankfully in Douala like 30/40 mins away from my home, I bought all that and fixed them all up for the month – or however long we can keep that lol. I worked in that kitchen all day, because I love cooking (big temptation if you are fasting but I had no option and could do that lol), and only left that kitchen at 6 pm. Someone said wow?

So, as I announced last week, I started a spiritual/purification journey of 70 days as guided by my inner compass and this includes a 4 stage fasts with there being a 3 days break in between the stages.

Fasting and day 1
resume of what am fasting from, and how day 1 went

I am fasting from 6 things as directed- and as you can see if you use magnifying glasses lol (food, anger, worry, hate, attack thoughts and yes the last one is sex, so that doesn’t even cross my mind during this period), and to be honest, so far so good. I sincerely evaluate myself 80% and this is an A – Period.

The day started off so cool because it had rained cats and dogs the previous night. I walked Aime’s son to school, well she came along, I worked with my dearest Sahadat (you’ll read about her before stage two begins I promise) from home, talked for long with my son Israel, it’d been such a while and I so love to connect with this full of promise adopted son of mine, and to make my first day so special, another small daughter of mine who was looking to connect with her dad all these years, called me to announce the good news. She is 22 and has never spoken to nor seen her dad. I once helped her zoom trails to find him to no avail. What a first day right?

It takes stubborn but passionate faith to walk such fate especially if any fasting whatsoever is involved. I mean I ate no pin, and tried my very best to fast from the other items. The 20% less is the shaky thoughts because am human of course… but I have faith in the fast… I said I was ready and stand by that…

Let me borrow from my friend Pammie’s view on faith: “faith is not a religious faith…it is trust in life-serving-life” and this is why I am going through this 70 day purification and fasting. I have faith in the outcome.

And so, me thinks, to fast especially in stages and for so long, whatever the motive (be it for health, wealth, weight, or religion prescribed) you need to have faith in the fast. No fast cars involved here, you have to walk your talk.

To, summarize this first post of my first break from my first stage of fasting, I am so grateful for the Grace to fast. The picture below is me that same saturday after working all day. I sate down to a full tray of a balanced diet which included a detox home made juice (smoothie if you want lol)  in the red cup, a succulent fresh mango, some fresh tender corn on the cob home cooked of course, a yummy risotto in rice salad style, pap and enough water to fill my thirst tank hahaha. It was not so clear by the time I wrapped all up and freshened up,  but the focus should be on my tray and not my face hahaha

 

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So seven days later, here I am trying my best. Happy with the firm implementation of my 3D principles of Determination, Discipline and Dedication. The spiritual fruits are already starting to bud… but that will be fully revealed at the end. I could however treat myself to a hefty dinner and ignore the irritation on my eye and knee cap – guess my body not so pleased with me o

 

For all Mothers!


Ode to Mama!

When I posted on my mother as being my first and best model, I got such feedback that got me to fish out this poem I wrote close to a decade ago!

You will think after writing this I learnt my lessons and sat still but hell no – I got into more turbulent waters!

Fortunately, mu mother like I bet all others, almost got drowned saving me because she didn’t know how to swim !

Have a good read all you my gentle followers, and celebrate your mothers in whatever way you can because someday either you or her will be gone!

Who dares have a contrary view should speak up now or…